1 Prologue
'Though '
" Speech "
- Extra or line Break-
------
I died.
simple as that.
you know...
death is weird.
there's no Flashback like other people say. or lucid dreams theorize by the scientist. or something like that.
naturally. there's no heaven or hell.
only endless darkness.
" Woaaaaah... Wait... Isn't this... familiar? Am I in a novel or something?"
He began to float down as his naked feet - he assumed - felt the freezing hard floor for a second.
he briefly shuddered as the sudden contact as confusion hit him. but wave it off because he has no answer on it.
also because the sensation immediately dulled to nonexistent as he blinks in fascination.
he then narrowed his eyes as he saw... nothing.
nothing but desolate darkness as his steps echoed around him as he crosses his arms nervously.
The theme is a bit scary and very creepy.
although there's no cliche winds and ghostly voice.
the utter silence beside his very own footsteps and harsh breathing.
he didn't like it.
compared to the living world which fills him with vigour and happiness.
...this place seems to be the opposite as it is desolate and blue.
he then began to walk faster and faster till it becomes a full sprint as he desperately searches for a light exit.
his heartthrobs faster and faster as his feet burn and fell in exhaustion because of the desperate attempt.
He curled his body as he let out a muffled word behind his knees.
" ...Where... Am I?" he says in a low voice.
He knows the answer.
He was in the hands of death.
Was this where dead people go?
A single question rang inside his head as he slowly accepted his fate that he was forever trapped in this... hell.
it's pointless on continuing his fruitless attempts of searching...
No...
there must be a way out of here...
- Time skip 1 month. - 1st person pov.
There is no way out of here...
nothing but desolate, Empty, darkness.
though I did found something interesting.
1. I have a physical body, but the sensations were dulled along with the pain. so I mistakenly thought I'm some sort of a ghost Etcetera.
2. I can die again. more or less.
3. I can be revived. I'm basically immortal here. sure I die painfully slow - He can still feel the hunger and thirst for 3-4 days till he dies.- But my consciousness returns and whenever that happens. I'm back at full health.
4. I develop a habit of talking myself due to the lack of any interaction besides walking aimlessly.
I was of course. Grateful to learn the fact that I can't die and feel little to no pain. I continue undaunted to search my Freedom as I continue my search.
I'm not stupid though.
I know that I'm dead.
there's no changing that. My brain and Body IRL must've rotted long ago.
" Wow... I felt lifeless."
but anywhere is better than the desolate darkness.
since I can't die.
My chances of finding something probably raise.
" Hmm... Maybe I'm said? Wait... does that mean there's a Rob or something?"
The idea made me flush in embarrassment as I scratch my head comically.
...Though in all seriousness. Anywhere is better than here.
and oh how naive I was.
during my travel. I started counting and remembering the lectures from my online class and Animes to entertain myself.
( AN: Before you ask, he doesn't have any parents because he was an Orphan in the orphanage.
and since nobody adopted him.
he set his journey at the society at the age of 18.
he's also an introvert, and prefer distancing himself. but that doesn't mean he can survive his mind at the endless an abyss of darkness. )
and The self conversation worsens as my denial slowly diminished and I began to suicide.
I smash my head on the cold floor till I die again and again and again. the numb pain doesn't help at all...
The dull sensations made me crazy.
this place made me crazy.
this...
The ENDLESS cycle of life and death made me crazy.
Walk. Hope. Disappointed. Die.
Walk. Hope. Disappointed. Die.
WaLk hOpE DiSaPpOiNtEd DiE...
" G'AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH " I let out an agonising scream as I can't take it anymore.
I began punching and kicking the ground as my bones break. - Again. Lack sensations so he doesn't feel anything besides the dull sound of his bones crack. - as my tears fell.
Tears that I can't even feel...
I sobbed and began to cry and begged for the cycle to end as I banged my head towards the hard floor.
I throw a tantrum and suicide repeatedly until I'm satisfied.
and whenever I came back to life.
only darkness awaits me.
Living and dying make no difference as I wail and began chomping my hand in despair.
...I Didn't feel anything. unless I broke or dislocate my limb.
Is this truly what dead people felt?
"...I pity my ancestors..."
...
It took me 36 lives to at least calm down.
this wake-up call made me realise how stupid I was to waste my life...
If Only I have a second chance.
I'm going to fully enjoy myself.
I don't care if I have the busiest life.
I don't care if I live the life of a criminal.
I don't care if I live like a priest.
I then began to pity those young people died like myself.
Just living - Dying?- here for a few months or years to experience this damn cycle is already enough to change my perspective of life and personality.
but what about the ones who died in a past?
'...Were they immortal like me and Experiencing this pointless Life and death cycle?'
The thought of that conclusion made me shudder in fear at their state.
what... would happen to me... if...
" Ha... haha... Ha-ha..."
He suddenly heard a soft chuckle filled with mockery but... empty at the same time.
where was that?
"Hahahaa... haha..hhaahahaahahaa..." The volume slowly intensifies as time pass.
'Why... is it familiar...'
" Ahaahahahahahahahah!!!"
It turned into full-blown deranged laughter that made him taken aback at the recognition but at the same time kinda expected it.
...
..
.
It was his voice...
" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA!!!"
his laughter slows drop down till it stops as he waits for the echoes to shut up.
earlier he felt lively.
now?
He just... let it go.
was this depression felt like?
'I'm not sure if I'm depressed.
I mean I'm not sad but not exactly happy either.
I can laugh and joke and smile to alleviate my mood.
but sometimes.
whenever I felt truly alone.
I forget how I feel as I wandered aimlessly at this desolate place.'
'I search a way out of my endless cycle.
only to find nothing but darkness that embraces me. maybe even forever. if my theory is correct.'
He stop that though as he briefly shuddered in fear.
' I... I don't know what to do...'
I began to cry again as memories of my past life hit me.
Anger, Envy, Sadness and Madness filled me to the brim as I cried harder.
Anger because of how unfair my life compared to the others.
Envious towards the living.
Sadness because of the situation.
and Madness at the realisation.
This continued for years as time pass.
Wandering aimlessly without any literal and metaphorical sense and purpose towards the darkness as acceptance slowly develop.
And centuries pass.
I stop counting at that time and blankly stare at the ground as I lied down and mumbled incoherently. as I lost consciousness.
mentally tired and hungry - Food? what's that? can that be eaten? - to care at my surroundings.
failing to see a small bright light.
tugging towards my soul.
----
Author: HAH! Didn't see that coming did ya?!
Haa... Why don't I pose new chapters in my Other stories instead of making one you ask?
The truth is, for a while I thought of just abandoning my stories. ( or writing altogether). Not because I don't want to continue it, but because I'm not really good at this.
I read thousands upon thousands of stories in my life and whenever I read something written by someone else, those stories are always written way better than mine are, the grammar and flow are perfect, the descriptions are vivid and easy to imagine in my mind... and even when the story by itself could be unoriginal, uninspired, or even just bad... they are still all better than mine in those things, because after months of trying I don't see my abilities improving at all.
Of course, especially on websites like FF & co., there IS worse. Nonetheless, the majority of the stories that attract my attention are written so well, so out of my league and capability, that I get depressed and continuously lose the will to going along with it... despite the hundreds of story ideas that came to my mind every day, some even original or that I never saw done... and probably never will.
For this reason, I decided that from now on, you guys shouldn't expect anything from me. ( Maybe... depending on my mood, if there's a chapter, then good. I don't mind you guys continuing my story. ) If I want to post a chapter I'm going to do it, If I want to start my 999th story in a row which will end up on hiatus I will do it...
Whatever happens, happens. I'm not a good writer, nor ever I will be one.
I'm more of a reader and maybe a Failure of a teacher to teach my fellow writers to write. especially those newbies.
I'm also afraid to fuck my stories up, like unexpected vibes because of the constant changes in my mental state.
what I'm trying to say is you can continue my story. ( Or create an alternate ending if I contworkd my work. don't really care as long as you don't... ya know... wreck the story. )
Anyway... let's change topics.
what do you think of the MC?
He'll truly have a real personality unlike my other mc's.
what do you think of the potential?
