Chapter 45

Kash View

I was ignoring Atlas as he contacted who he wanted. The fruit was nice and the water but something felt wrong. Not in a bad sick way. Just very wrong. Like something was suddenly missing. I tried to think of what it was, but there was nothing I could come up with. Did I forget something important again? Then again, I remembered the letter I wrote, the diary I found and my confession to Atlas before I slept once more, but something deep inside was missing.

"Hey Atlas. I don't feel so good." I was now staring at the plate with a strawberry in my hand.

"Kash!" How fast he appeared startled me from my thoughts. "What's wrong? I can message Doc now."

His voice was thick with concern. "No, no. Not that kind of feeling." Leaning into his side, I closed my eyes. "Um,just like something is missing. I wrote myself a letter in case something like this happens again. You think you can grab it for me from my side table?"

"Sure." He rubbed my arm as he stood back up to do as I asked. It did not take long to hear him once more.  "Is it in the blue envelope?" His voice called out from the room already.

"There is no rush, you know. And yes." I sighed as he ran back over. "I told you there was no need to hurry. I just feel like I am missing something, but I am unsure what it could be. I hope I wrote it down." The letter was just as I remember. Of course none of it was what I felt empty over. "Atlas, am I broken?"

"Of course not." Atlas was already sitting beside me. I did not miss how he turned away to allow me the privacy of my own letter before looking back at me to answer. "You are healing. It does not make you broken."

"Then what am I missing? I feel hollow right now. Like I am missing a huge part of me. I don't like it." Taking his comfort I curled up closer to him.

"I already messaged Doc. We will meet him in the lower office. Maybe he will have an answer for you. I will be right beside you the whole time." I smiled as he spoke. "We will deal with it together, like we promised."

"Hmm, I like that. Can I nap before we go? I still feel a little sleepy." I never did hear his reply as his scent drew me into a comfortable nap.

When I opened my eyes next, I knew I was dreaming. The world I was in was so bright. Not in a blinding kind of way, but that feeling you get when you pull sunglasses off and the colours return. The grass was such a vibrant green that I have never seen outside of photos or paintings. The flowers with colours so bright you would think they were fake. The breeze was lightly caressing my skin with a warm embrace of its own. Taking in a deep breath I continued to look around me. 

Not far in front of me was a gorgeous oak tree. The branches seemed never ending and the shade of leaves went from spring green to fall reds and oranges. Such an interesting scene I couldn't help but walk towards it out of curiosity. It was not until I neared the wide trunk that I saw the woman sitting beneath it.

"Welcome child." She smiled as she spoke. "Come sit with me in the shade." It was strange. Though she sat before me, and I could see her with my own eyes. I could not describe her. The way her hair looked escaped me. The style and colour of her clothing. Even her voice. It was all there, but could never leave my lips if asked what I saw or heard. It was a little disconcerting. 

"Who are you and where am I?" I crossed my arms. I have never had a dream this clear before. "Oh my goddess! Did I die? If I'm dead….Atlas will kill me!" 

The woman chuckled. "You are not dead. I believe you have many more years in front of you."

"Then what is this place and who are you?" Taking a small step backwards just in case she moved towards me.

"This place is your subconscious. A dream. As for who I am. That would depend on who you talk to. For now, you may call me Artemis." She motioned for me to sit beside her. "I can not and will not harm you here."

I sighed. "Fine. But dreams should be relaxing. Unless of course this is a nightmare" She chuckled as sat near her. I found the ground very comfortable and ended up learning against the tree for support. "So, why are you here? I know I have never met you before."

She chuckled. "I wanted to put your mind at ease. You are tired. You will have your rest, but you still have some trials to go through I am afraid."

"Why me?" Her comment made me angry. "Why can't I have a normal life?"

"You will. Keep that journal close, and your heart even closer. You're strong, stronger than I could ever have hoped for. I truly believe you can do anything you put your mind to. You may have been the chosen one Kash, but that does not mean you have no choice. There is always a choice. Remember that."

"Then why does the goddess choose our mates? Why can't we fall in love like humans? Why did I have to have a mate?" I groaned a little. "Not that I am unhappy now, but it was not nice to find him so soon."

Her laugh sounded like chimes. "Everything you go through helps you become you. The people who come into your life, or sadly leave it. The world around you will help develop your personality. You learn through the experiences. I see great things to come from you."

"Yeah yeah. You said I had a choice in it all?" She nodded. "Then why can't I choose what to forget? Why am I stuck feeling empty but still remember the light leaving my friend's eyes?"

Her smile left and I saw pain deep in her eyes. "He was not supposed to leave you so soon. You are not forgetting anything important. Those who need to be punished have made it so that your body is not well. Your heat this time will not be easy." I turned my head and my face was red for sure. "I know you hate speaking of this, but if you take a moment when you wake. And look into yourself, you will understand." I turned back as she stood up. "My time is short but we shall meet again dear Kash." The world around me darkened.

"Kash, time to wake up." Atlas's voice pulled me from the strange dream. "Kash."

"Hmm. Atlas, what time is it?" Sitting up I realised I had been leaning on him the whole time. "Sorry for passing out like that."

"That's okay. We know you will sleep a lot more the next few days. As for the time, we can go down and meet up with Zion and Doc now." He smiled when I jumped up. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. I had the strangest dream, and don't remember much except the feeling that I will be okay." I grinned when Atlas brought over a jacket. "We are not going anywhere are we?"

"Actually, depending on what Doc says, I was thinking we could go for a small walk." My smile must have been the right reaction as Atlas chuckled. "Well, let's get this over with before Doc takes all the daylight from us!"

Atlas chuckled again. "I had the guards clear the back garden. We won't go far." 

"Did you know that you're amazing?" I smirked more when he went a little red. "But I think you're too slow! See ya downstairs!" I left Atlas behind holding my jacket as I dashed towards the offices near the lobby. I was able to sense Atlas well before he caught up to me. "You could have at least let me win!"

His breathy chuckle was beside my ear now. "Not a chance. You would most likely punch me if I did."

"Well, looks like I was brought in on my day off for nothing." Startled to realise we were not alone, I slid to a stop. "Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Welcome back Kash."

"Doc!" I smiled at the man. 

"Let's get inside before we speak more." Atlas had changed his tone. I looked back at him and he shook his head. I worried something was wrong. "Thanks for coming here on the short notice."

"No problem. Though I do wonder about the extra work I have as well." Atlas and I followed Doc into the office and Atlas closed the door. I did not miss that two guards were posted at the door.

"Yes, well, his new pack would like a comprehensive report on his health as well." Atlas changed his tone again. He was giving me whiplash.

"Atlas? What's going on?" I looked between the two and crossed my arms. "You are hurting my head with all your personalities."

"He is being a possessive Alpha." Doc laughed when Atlas growled. "Don't mind him. Try as he might, he can't help himself. Besides, his uncle is already on the way to 'help' as he put it."

"Your uncle. The one that…my room…umm" Atlas stood closer to me. "What does he want?"

"My crown, my lands, my pack. Anything I have. He has always coveted what he could never have." Atlas quickly gave me a hug. "I promise to be on my best behaviour though.

"Okay, now let us get this check up finished shall we?" Doc's voice brought me from my dark thoughts along with the hug from Atlas. "There. That smile is more welcome for our Luna. So, Atlas tells me you had memory loss?"

"Well, just a little. Atlas helped me remember with his scent though. So I am okay. But I still feel like something is missing." Sitting on the desk so I was more to Doc's height I leaned towards Atlas. "I don't think it is a memory. At least it might not be?"

"Let me get your vitals and we will go from there."

"I can't believe Doc took so long! I wanted to walk in the garden." The appointment took the better half of the day. Followed by the stuff with Zion and gathering groceries, had left me to look out a window at the dying light of the sun. "When should we expect our visitors?"

"He has not crossed into our borders yet, so at least three days. I am hoping your pack flies in tomorrow. Unfortunately you will not be allowed to welcome them." I watched while Atlas brought in more blankets and piled them in the corner. "I'm sorry if I seem too protective or jealous or controlling. I am doing my best to do what I feel is best for you, but…" Atlas had yet to turn back towards me. "I don't want to cage you. You need to fly. I…"

"I really could make it interesting and sneak out like I did before at my brother's place?" Grabbing a small pillow from the loveseat I made my way towards Atlas. "You see, I know a great cliff in the woods…" Right when Atlas turned around to reply I threw the pillow at him laughing. "You should see your face. Look, you're doing great. I really trust you. This is not a gilded cage. At least not to me. This is a wonderful nest. A home. A safe haven."

Atlas grabbed me in a big bear hug and started to kiss all over my face and neck. "I can't believe the Goddess gave me the most pain in the neck mate ever!" I started to laugh as his kisses tickled. "He is stubborn. He is sneaky. He is bull headed." Atlas stopped and rested his forehead on mine. With our noses now touching my breath was at a stand still. "And I would never change him for anything. Because behind all that…He is the most loyal. The most protective. The most fair. The most loving man."

I couldn't breath. I stared into his eyes without blinking. My heart raced at every whispered word from him. His hands on my waist brought me in even closer as if we could become one. There was nothing but us now.

Atlas moved his head slightly and took my lips with his. A brief but overwhelming kiss that finally allowed me to breath at the end. When he took his lips away, the breath I held was released as my head collapsed into his shoulder as Atlas whispered. "The one I love."