chapter 36-past is not the last

"Ellie, I have the location, and which houses we are going to first. I drew the outline of which ones are closest, and—"

"Can I stop you there for just one minute? I'm no idiot. I know supernatural occurrences have been happening lately. I've been subjected to that all my life, but that doesn't mean I'm going to put my life and other people's lives on a thin string which you call a theory. It's dangerous. Your so-called plan is to get a gang of six teenagers to drive there with no supervision or guardian. For a movie with this plot, it would be thrilling and exciting to watch, but in real life, it's dangerous and not safe," I said.

"You think adults would believe us? I know you have every right to suspect the motivation of this plan, but you don't remember."

"Yes, I know I can't remember. I don't know if you're lying if James is lying. How can I take your word at face value? I just can't. I've been lucky hanging around people that treat me well. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to wake up one morning knowing that relationship, those good times, were fake, a prank, a game to all of you. I still remember what you did a couple of years back."

"I-I wanted to apologize for that, you know."

"Well, why haven't you?"

"Because you haven't as well."

I clenched my fist. We were just kids, brats beginning high school. I got invited by the popular mean girls' group to be part of their exclusive society - something I desperately wanted, having never fit in before. I was determined to make a good impression as the newest member by going along with whatever they did. I was a people-pleaser to a fault.

One day, they ganged up on a girl in the same year, cornering her in the bathroom. I didn't participate directly, but I did hold the door shut so the girl they were tormenting couldn't escape. I watched in silent horror as my new "friends" threw milk and hurled insults at the helpless victim. It was one of Maddie's close friends they were viciously harassing.

It all happened so fast. Afterwards, I was laughing along with the cruel girls, relieved they hadn't targeted me instead. But the image of that terrified girl, drenched in milk and fighting back tears, was seared into my mind. I knew then what a truly despicable act I had enabled through my cowardly inaction.

I wanted to apologize, to own up to my mistake, but the bullied girl left school not long after, fleeing far away. Maddie, who I wasn't familiar with, joined the group right after. She didn't join to get back at the girls, but she did so the same as me as a way to protect herself to avoid becoming their next target. She never forgot or forgave what we did to her friend though - that grudge burned bright in her eyes whenever they landed on me and the others, but she hid it well, too well.

As for me, I realized I could never please those types of people without utterly compromising my values. I had hurt someone deeply just to selfishly gain acceptance, making my so-called friends happy at the expense of an innocent girl's dignity. Questioning if that was really who I wanted to be, I wanted to leave but I was too deep in the rabbit role, so I did what I was best at. I became reclusive and silent, keeping to myself rather than owning up to my own action.

But that also meant Maddie became just the same as me, replacing me in that toxic friend group. I wasn't jealous, but I was disappointed in both myself and her. She would often yell at the group that I needed to talk louder and get more involved. She was almost successful in making me the new target for their bullying. But she forgot that I wasn't a talker, I was a listener. Every secret, every insecurity I could get my hands on was a weapon or a shield, depending on how you wanted to spill the beans. So, I quickly got myself out of that vulnerable spot.

"Look, Ellie, you're right. You don't have your memories, but I do. We had this conversation in the mist realm," she said, curling her blonde hair with her finger due to the awkward atmosphere.

She was lying. This time, her body language was so obvious, but I kept silent. I didn't know what to do in this situation. Both of us weren't ready for that moment yet.

"Look, whatever you guys are planning, I won't join you in talking to the parents. I don't like listening to real-life crimes. It's haunting and uncomfortable, but I'll drive you. I know you could have asked your parents or paid someone else, but you have a plan, and I don't want to be blamed for not fulfilling that plan, so count me in."

"Don't say that to me, say it to him," Maddie pointed as three bicycles came riding across the street.

"Look at these lazy asses, they don't realize how beneficial riding a bike is," Thomas said. The three of them reminded me of one of the girls who came to lunch with a box of salad, showing off that she was eating salad. It angered most of the girl group to the point where she was almost kicked out, but they didn't do it.

"Ellie, you're driving. Let's go. I better have the aux cord," James said.

"Oh, more guests," my mother came out at the right moment with what seemed like many glasses of water.

Five minutes later

I held the keys to the van and was ready to start driving. Tommy and the others put the bikes in my garage, so once we were back, they could fetch them later.

My mother knocked on the window facing toward me. I unrolled the window.

"Honey, make sure you come back safe. You have the responsibility to make sure everybody is safe and comfortable. Remember, don't ever feel peer pressured, okay? I love you, and drive safe."

"Thanks, Mom. I will," I said, waving goodbye to her.

"Goodbye, Miss Stroud," everybody else said in unison.

We were ready. Everybody had what they needed.

"I've set the location to the first place. It's Korzen 24 Road. Her name is Kathrine, and from the looks of it, she was a single mother, so let's go there first. All we need to do is ask a few questions, and then we move to the next place," James said.

Driving off, we went on the main road.

Everyone seemed to be doing their own thing, mostly on their phones—typical.

"Wow, you drive really well. Much better than Maddie, who failed," James said. Maddie shot him an annoyed look.

"Shut up," she muttered.

"Thanks, but you kind of get used to the big traffic once you start driving alone."

"I can see that. Mind if I connect to the aux? It won't take long."

"No, I don't think that's a good idea…"

But it was already too late. I'd left the speaker volume too high, and James, along with the rest of the gang, started acting wild, bopping their heads and lip-syncing. Oh no, what have I done? If I turn it off, maybe it'll stop, but then they might give me that look like I've ruined the fun. Maybe it's the lesser of two evils. I had to decide.

I glanced over at Maddie. She was swaying side to side, clapping her hands to the rhythm.

"Yeah, c'mon Ellie, join in!"

"I'm driving," I protested.

But then I found myself swaying side to side too.

"Woah!" Maddie laughed.

We were a bunch of idiots, and I was the biggest one of all, smiling as we all sang together.

"Oh baby, there ain't no castle high enough, ain't no chasm low enough, ain't no spring wide enough, to keep us apart". We all sang.