The Sack of Olympus

As the mist cleared away and I led the First Legion of Heaven into the subrealm that contained Olympus, I saw that my plan to use the humans to leak the coming attack to the whole world had succeeded and that all of the Greek Mythos had come together from Ouranos and the other Primordials all the way to the satyrs and everything in between.

Gods, Titans, Giants, Monsters, all of Greece prepared for my attack.

It was so beautiful.

Ten thousand golden jetbikes departed from the massive Cruiser that carried us to this place, and behind them the main guns roared, pounding against the magical barriers that had been fed by beings capable of destroying continents with their might for thousands of years.

In response the Greeks sent out every manner of flying beast to engage us, only for my forces to easily gun them down or impale them on their lances. Each Seraphim possessed the power of a minor god further augmented with the finest arms and armor any of these Greeks had ever encountered.

Behind their failing forces came honest to me boulders being flung by the hundred handed ones. Each stone the size of a house flung with enough force to shatter the sound barrier and trail fire like comets.

My forces answered with missile fire that shattered the stones and brought down the great barrier, allowing our forces to truly engage each other in glorious melee combat.

Standing on the prow of my ship I smiled and assumed my True Machine Devilgod form, the form that separated me from my incarnations. 6.66 meters of mirror polished charcoal metal was soon covered in a suit of power armor made from clones of Ophis herself, a being of truly incredible might and miniscule combat ability.

In my hands she was power perfected, wielded with the utmost precision.

In my hands a sword and shield, each made with all possible power and skill on my part after extensive studies of my holdings in the Gate of Babylon and weapons such as Excalibur and Ea.

With a single stroke of my sword I could erase solar systems, and behind my shield no attack could ever reach. I poured my everything into the creation of these arms, and as I looked upon my creation I knew that it was good.

My sword could slay anything in a single slash, and it didn't matter if it connected or not. The simple act of thrusting or slicing with the blade rewrote causality and would slay the target through any defense. No time, space, soul trickery, karma, or shield could deliver my victims from me, and no attempt at clever manipulation could affect me with my shield in hand.

Anyone who wanted to defeat me needed to do so head on, needed to endure all my power, knowledge, and mystery head on.

And I knew that no one could.

I mounted a giant black jetbike, and my sword shifted into a lance, and my shield mounted upon my shoulder. Behind me mounted up my sons, a full battalion of them armed in such a way that the make Seraphim who's gear makes all others envious look like tin soldiers, and each and everyone of them is stronger than the strongest foes we would face today before those arms are a factor.

Turning my head I looked upon them, dressed in black like me, and I was proud.

"My boys." I addressed them, "I've heard that rape, murder, and pillage are bad, but it is all anecdotal. So today we begin our grand experiment to discover the empirical truth of the matter. Go out my sons, in the name of SCIENCE, and slay and fuck and take everything you see in whatever order you see fit, so long as you leave the good looking goddesses for me. I'd hate for any of you to go from research assistant to data point because you forgot your place. Now give them Hell, lads, for the glory of Heaven."

Time to see if any of these jerkwads have the quad to step to me.

I launched my jetbike into the smoke filled sky and felled my first target, plucking him off his golden chariot on the tip of my lance. Apollo did not die when it pierced him, for I did not allow him to, instead he got to enjoy the ride as I hunted down and gave similar treatment to Helios, and Hyperion, completing my Grecian sun god kebob. To complete my collection I lassoed the goddesses Eos and Hemera. With the women in tow, I drained the life out of the men and directed all that power into a single radiant beam attack that turned the Titan Atlas to ash.

Eos wailed at the death of her father Hyperion, and the wisdom of Conan once more rang true.

All around us the Greeks crumbled. My sons played games delimbing the hundred handed ones, blinding the cyclops, and slaying every man before them. The ugly women too.

I raised my head as if in rapture, "Don't you just love the smell of holy war?"

"You won't get away with this!" Eos hissed, "Olympus has called upon its allies. Soon, every pantheon will descend upon this place and put you down like the mad dog you are!"

"Such a lovely mouth you have, my dear." I grinned down at her, "I will enjoy it so much more when my cock is stuffed down it as we revel in the blood and ashes. Every pantheon coming here just saves me the time of going to all their homes myself. I'll send the servants for that while I am busy breaking in you and every other goddess worth looking at."

"You're a monster." Hemera despaired.

"Yes." I agreed.

I landed my jet bike and dragged the chained women behind me through the temples of Olympus, watching my son's toss everything shiny into their storage subspaces. They took everything that wasn't nailed down, causing me to pause.

"The marble you imbeciles!" I shouted, "That's valuable too!"

Smacking their faces into their palms, my sons began tearing the buildings down to the foundations, taking the valuable stones as well. As we continued pushing forward my luggage line increased, and the presence of my sons decreased as they took the various nymphs as their prizes, the lesser deities decidedly off my menu.

This did leave me in the awkward position of arriving at the final holdout temple sans any of my boys, but the golden armored Seraphim made up for it… slightly.

Gonna have a lot of new grandchildren after this crusade.

At the foot of the stairs leading into the column heavy temple stood Hera, Hestia, and Demeter, and behind them various other greater and lesser deities. At some point I realized that I'd picked up Gaia and Rhea in my baggage train, so that just left the three elder Olypians in charge of what remained.

"I noticed a distinct lack of Hades." I greeted them with good cheer, "Will he be arriving with the other pantheons or will I have to send the boys down to the underworld to get him and the rest of his… court?"

"You have taken Olympus." spat Hera, "But you will not keep it."

As she spoke hundreds of thousands forms in sizes ranging from midgets to mountains came through the mists. Hades and all the other pantheons no doubt, I even spotted Odin and the Asgardians with them.

Guess he knew that I'd eventually come for them too. Good judgment.

As they encircled my unharmed forces, twelve golden portals appeared behind them, allowing twelve more of my gilded Cruisers into the airspace.

Watching the hope drain from the faces of the remaining Greeks was a sweet perfume to my soul. I'd raised up Thirteen Legions of Seraphim, and they were led by my friends and the members of my family that I actually cared about. If Odin and Shiva were jealous of the Seraphim's arms, and the Seraphim were paltry before my horde of sons I don't give a shit about, unto these people I had bestowed arms of true worth.

"What can I say, my dear." I chuckled, "The game was rigged from the start."