SEIBA!

"Okay, the teacher has left. We are good to go." I grinned as we watched Taiga leave the Emiya Household for the evening.

"I still don't understand why I have to carry a boombox?" Rin complained as we neared the front door.

"Because, Rin, sometimes you need to take the song in your heart and play it on a boombox." I stated as I knocked on Shirou Emiya's front door.

"Okay press play. I hear him coming." I grinned.

'Yeah (uh), yeah, yeah (uh) (grr)

Don't get it twisted'

"Uh. Hello… Tohsaka-san." the voice of a generation greeted as he opened his door.

"Hello there." I greeted with a smile, "I'm not here to kill you."

"Oh, that's go…" Shirou's response was interrupted by my fist sending him flying down his foyer.

'It's what you hearin' (listen)

It's what you hearin' (listen)'

I stepped into the house and kicked the kid down the hall, sending him right through the classic Japanese paper wall.

'X gon' give it to ya (what)'

Two punches on the downed boy put him in a dubious state of consciousness and I took his foot, dragging him to the shed in his backyard.

"Y u do disss?" Shirou mumbled through his fat lips and busted nose.

"To completely elucidate the severity of the situation in which you find yourself Mr. Emiya." I told him as I materialized my armor and the chain daggers around my forearms, taking a loop of it and wrapping it around the boy's neck as he laid belly down on the floor of his family shed, "If you do not do what I want, I will choke you to death. Now use your magic and summon SEIBA!"

After shouting the last bit, startling the boy I began applying pressure to the young hero of justice, slowly cutting off his air supply as he predictably went through some lines in his head about how he doesn't want to die, how it can't end like this, how he must live. The entire time the blue glow of the summoning circle grew stronger and stronger, kicking up an ethereal whirlwind and in a flash of gold she appeared.

"SEIBA!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, causing her to flinch back.

"It can't be… You can't be him!" she yelled looking at me like she recognized me despite the vast differences between Dio and…

"GRAX!" she yelled as she charged forward to defend Shiro whom I had already released and punted away.

Her invisible blade met my twin daggers and stopped dead. Despite being both B rank in strength that simply means we each have between forty and fifty units of a human's strength with our build. Which means she attacked me with forty something respectable Valentina Shevchenkos, and I blocked with forty something peak Anthony Joshuas. And then I activated Monstrous Strength to recruit ten more Anthony Joshuas to really throw the girl around.

In a display of her powerful Instinct, she back pedaled while sending out a few sweeping cuts to prevent me from pushing her over with my enhanced power, and blocked the few chain attacks I sent her way before I leapt back myself through the roof of the shed and materialized my bow, sending three sound barrier shattering spears her way which she defected each time, lacking the raw agility to dodge them in her mana deprived state.

Despite defending herself ably, the true intention of my attack showed through when I charged back through the wall of the shed like the Kool Aid Man and saw her arms shaking. With Shirou as her master, she suffers from an entire rank down in stats, dropping her endurance to C rank. She simply cannot trade shots with someone sporting A rank strength.

I still wouldn't beat her in a raw showing of skill though. A ranked Instinct means she will always know the best positioning and timing for the fight, a true annoyance. She couldn't beat me, I am simply too tough, but I can't easily overcome her, risking Lancer or Berserker showing up to fuck me up the longer the fight goes on.

Since she won't fuck up, I have to.

I waited for Artoria to put her weight behind a real thrust and threw myself onto her sword to the hilt.

"Archer!" Rin screamed seeing the injury as my blood coated the invisible Excalibur.

It would have been a deep pain if I hadn't activated Blood Rage. In her surprise, Artoria made her one and only mistake in the fight. She let me get my hand on the crossguard of her sword. With over a hundred and fifty Endurance and over a hundred Strength, she could neither twist the sword, wrench the blade, or pull it out of me. Excalibur was trapped, and I put my other meaty hand around her neck.

Had Shirou maintained consciousness, he could have sacrificed a Command Seal to give her the power to activate her Noble Phantasm with the sword in my body, but Shirou went nighty night after I punted him, and wasn't looking too hot after a section of roof collapsed on him. His possession of Avalon meant he was still alive though, allowing me to keep my word.

After all. I am not here to kill him.

I considered crushing her head for old time's sake, but Heracles probably did it better, so I just stuck with choking her to death.

Strangling the life out of Artoria was easy, child's play even. I watched as her eyeballs bulged and filled with blood, and as her body began to seizure I whispered to her each word becoming quieter and quieter, "You have ten seconds to live. Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."

And the once and future king stopped moving.

Weird how she knew me, but Saber was a very special hero in the system, and my presence during the summoning is likely what drew the same version of her as the last I met. Battle buddy or not I carved her heart out of her chest and chowed down on my post victory snack.

"Oh, that's that good shit!" I shouted as a golden light enveloped me and I felt the power flow like a mother fucking river.

Servant: Dio (Archer)

Parameters

Strength: B+ (42—>47)

Endurance: A++ (52 —>56 Surpassed Grail War Imposed Cap)

Agility: C (30—>34)

Mana: E(14—>19)

Luck: B (44)—>A(50)

Noble Phantasm: EX

Skills

Magic Resistance: B—>A

Independent Action: A

Aim: A

Battle Continuation: EX

Charisma: A

Monstrous Strength: B

>Mana Burst: A<

>Instinct: A<

Thick Skin: C (Nullifies Strike and Projectile Damage C rank and Below)

Blood Rage: A (Upon Entering Battle can temporarily +Strength and ++Endurance, becoming incapable of feeling pain and regenerating rapidly at the cost of massively increased prana consumption)

Noble Phantasms

Cannibal King: EX (Servants do not dematerialize upon death, allowing Dio to consume them to pilfer 10% of their true stats and possibly take Skills and Noble Phantasms. Upon Master kill, the servant quickly loses energy until left as a normal human performance wise)

The Atronach: A (50% of incoming magic attacks are converted to usable energy)

Dragon Piercing Shot: A (Anti Fortress, launch one Energy Beam style attack)

>Excalibur: A++<

>Avalon:EX<