webnovel

Ice Cream Devil

Don't Own DxD or D&D, Only The Oc

'thought'

"Speech"

System Text

'Ddraig Mental'

"Ddraig Vocal"

"Tvs, Radios, and Text via book or newspaper... when those are around..."

[Starting Split]

"So... you are angry at these three for coming into your city, beating up your uncle's gang, and demanding that you work for them?" I question dully as I cup my chin.

The girl sat across from me snags another sandwich and slowly nods.

Ah, the classic way into a girl's heart... through her stomach...

"And you didn't believe you could take on all three of them at once?"

The girl slowly shakes her head, lifting up her phone to type a more detailed reply. "The black haired one is a little scary. I might have been able to beat her, but not with the other two."

"I see... well, if you thought that you even stood a chance against her, I will certainly be able to effortlessly defeat her."

A frown appears on the girl's face, causing me to quickly wave her off. "That's not an insult to you, I'm like the... third strongest in my entire race. And while you are certainly impressive for a human... at some point you just reach a point where you can't get stronger without challenges."

Her eyes widen slightly.

"I should probably explain what I want from you if I do this little contract with you... but for that you are probably going to need a little background information... first and foremost, the devil race isn't from around here."

She blinks slowly.

"We as a species have recently discovered how to travel to other dimensions entirely." I bluntly explain.

She flinches back slightly.

"And I am the one who figured it out." I smirk.

"Back home, we have no grimm. A full moon. No aura, and technology is a little less advanced, but it's... peaceful... the line between superpowered individuals and 'civilians' is a lot more apparent, however, as the numerous supernatural factions have decided to keep the fact that there are supernatural factions a secret from the common man. Blah blah blah, gods exist, so do yokai, who are basically super faunus, most of those aren't important to the point I'm trying to make."

"The Biblical faction. My faction. It's split into three real groups, the angels, who are super powered nice guys with the ability to summon light weaponry and have a number of white feathered wings ranging from two to twelve, the second faction, the fallen angels, who are basically just Angels, but evil, and my race, the Devil Race who was created after one of the angels got a god complex and compared himself to the creator of the angels, one of the strongest gods in existence. His name was Lucifer."

"Lucifer created the seventy two pillars with his wife Lilith, keep in mind that this was thousands of years ago and women didn't have rights back then so I'll leave it to your imagination to determine how that happened, then after the creation of the seventy two pillars we went to war with the heaven and fallen factions in a massive three way war called the great war. Lots of people died, Lucifer died, Lilith disappeared, and the war ended..."

"Until the devil race tried to restart it around five hundred years ago. The devil race splintered, one side lead by the descendant of Lucifer, and the other by four generals who decided that 'hey, going to war again is a fucking stupid idea. We will all die.' They then tear each other to shreds for a decade or two, but eventually the side against war with the other two factions won but with incredible losses. The devil race is on the decline, far too many devils have died and our fertility isn't exactly enough to repopulate, so one of the four generals creates something."

A crystal pawn piece appears in my grasp. "This is relevant to you, so if you weren't paying attention before, I'd suggest you do now."

The girl's slightly glazed over eyes regain focus as she looks up from the third sandwich half she has eaten since I had begun explaining.

"This is an evil piece. High class devils like myself are granted these in order to reincarnate things into Devils."

The girl pauses, looking from the white crystal to myself.

"That's right. The thing I want in exchange for getting rid of those three bothering you is to reincarnate you as a devil."

Her eyes narrow immediately, she appears to be completely on guard.

"What's the catch?" I ask for her, causing to the girl to slowly nod.

"The catch is that you will be my servant until you can promote yourself into a high-class devil."

The girl looks disappointed as she grabs her scroll and types out a message. "How are you any different from HER then?"

"There is one key difference." I hum as I hold up a single finger.

"I'm not threatening to fucking kill you if you don't do what I say." I give her a half-lidded stare. "I am also offering you quite a lot here... sure you will be a servant in the short term, but... you will gain several things. A lifespan surpassing a thousand years, increased physical abilities, mental abilities, and your appearance in general, you will also be able to use magic based on your imagination instead of the strange limited genetic magic you people have, plus you eventually get the chance to gain your own peerage."

The girl's eyes narrow slightly, but she doesn't look AS disgusted by my offer.

"You'll also get the benefits of being able to travel to other worlds entirely." I point out idly.

She cups her chin, staring down at the table... as she takes another sandwich.

"Plus, you'll be able to eat food like this whenever you want." I tack on at the end with a small shrug.

That catches her attention, she looks as if she is legitimately considering it.

"You don't have to decide today." I shrug. "Give it some thought."

With a flash a summoning flier appears in my hand she takes it carefully and looks down at it. "You can use this to call me back... but keep in mind I am currently working in two dimensions, I spend my 'days' here, and go back for nights. I won't feel your call if I'm back on Earth, so please don't do anything reckless."

I slowly stand. "Now, I've got several more things to do today, a silver eyed girl to potentially manipulate, and a Schnee Heiress to pester... hopefully..."

"But." I continue with a small smirk. "Before I go... one final bribe."

A tub of ice cream appears in front of her. "Vanilla ice cream made from the Vanillove fruit. A fruit so delicious it LITERALLY blew the clothes off my fiancée after she lost control of her demonic power... I think you might be safe with your aura, though... shame."

She stares emotionlessly down at the tub of ice cream.

She slowly looks back up at me, then back down to the tub of ice cream.

"…"

"Bye~" I wave as I teleport away.

[Split]

A girl with half brown, half pink-with streaks of white through the pink half- hair sits on her bed in her underwear, kicking her feet childishly as she continues to inhale large spoonfuls of ice cream.

She's certainly enjoying that.

Well, she's going to be in my peerage before the day is up... probably when she finishes the ice cream.

I tap my fingers on the desk beside me as I give the crystal ball a half-lidded stare.

I am currently within a demi-plane I have created to serve as a form of 'base of operations' for myself.

I look to the large arch placed upon the foundations beside me.

I figured out how to make 'sustainable' dimensional travel...

It took like an hour to figure out and mere minutes to make... all thanks to a special ability I gained when I achieved level fifteen.

My level fifteen Malthus clan ability...

Expedite crafting: (Mythic): (Active)

When creating a magic item using the many crafting feats to create a magic item, if you have all of the requisite things for the enchantment process, you may spend 5 Demonic power to be treated as if you had spent a full 8 hours crafting. for one mythic power, you are treated as if you had been crafting for an entire week.

To think... I could have finished Caledfwlch within like a week...

Fuck.

Anyways, that's just a magic item using dimension door and plane shift.

It's utterly useless right now, as it needs two to function, however it's definitely a start.

It also doesn't just allow ANYONE through it. They will need to have my permission, or in this case, a 'Rune' which functions for one travel.

Normally this would cost a CONSIDERABLE amount to make, this is like, artifacts that blow up the sun levels of bullshit, buuut I lowered the cost a little by granting the portal a... flaw...

Unlike my instantaneous dimensional travel... with this portal, you need to travel from point A to point B... and this journey typically takes upwards of several days by foot.

Which is why we will be using trains. Which thematically fits with my original idea of a 'train station'.

I predict that at a reasonable pace, a train should be able to cover that distance in around... two hours or so?

There's a slight problem, though... someone without a 'ticket' would then immediately smash into their chair and be crushed against the portal.

But that can be solved by just teleporting them out if they don't have permission. An easy fix.

My other little trait was also pretty interesting.

Phoenix Restoration (Mythic): (Passive)

Every round during combat at the start of your turn, you are treated as if you have had 'Mythic Lesser Restoration' cast upon you, healing 2d4 Points of temporary stat damage and removing any fatigue or exhaustion.

Another thing to counter divine dividing. Albeit quite a weak one that'll be outpaced by the balance breaker.

I watch Neo look down to the tub of icecream, slowly close it, then toss it in her mini fridge that serves as a bedside table.

She grabs the summoning flier, a wave of light crossing her body as she gains clothing.

The flier glows brightly.

I appear with a small puff of black fire.

I look over to the girl. "Oh? You've decided already?"

The girl rolls her eyes and gestures around her room. Clearly meaning something along the lines 'of course, why else would I have summoned you.'

When I first saw it, I was honestly a little confused because of how Girly it was.

It is fairly large without any windows, the walls are painted pink with a white rim near the bottom, there's a massive stack of stuffed animals in the corner, her bed has numerous pillows strewn across it and large poofy blankets, there's a mini fridge used as a bedside table with a lamp on it, there's a small dresser on the other side with dozens of wallets inside.

"And the answer?" I question slowly.

She crosses her arms and slowly nods.

"So you're fine with being a devil?" I mutter.

She nods again.

"Alright, I'll go do my part and defend you from those three really fast. Then I can revive you. How do you want me to do this?"

She blinks slowly and cups her chin, an impish grin appearing on her face after a moment.

After a moment she portrays what she wants.

"Beaten, broken, and sobbing, hm?" I idly comment. "Alrighty."

[Split]

"Who the hell are you?" An orange haired man hisses as his eyes narrow.

"Just a guy your little hellion paid to take care of your problem." I shrug as I take a seat at a rickety looking table with a map of Vale on it.

Neo nods slowly as she sits on the table itself, one leg crossed over the other.

We are currently within an old warehouse in downtown Vale.

"Oh, don't make me laugh, some little brat shows up, promises to solve 'all of our problems'. Yeah right. You'll just get us all killed."

"I doubt this 'Cinder' can blow up a majority of vale with a single attack... nor is she immortal."

"And you are?" The man huffs.

His eyes narrow at the slight smirk that grows on my face.

"I won't let you-"

"Please sleep." I scoff.

The man falls backwards, but freezes and gently lowers to the ground.

Neo's eyes narrow in poorly restrained anger as she draws her blade from her umbrella.

"I just made him sleep. He's not hurt. I just didn't want to deal with the 'I'm going to stop you from doing this! I am going to annoy you this entire time!' Thing."

The girl frowns slowly, re-sheathing her blade, her eyes lose their edge as she stops focusing on me and rushes to roman's side, her gaze growing wide with concern as she checks his pulse.

She lets out a breath of relief, shoulders slumping then turns back to me and points at me, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Gotcha. I won't do that again. He'll be asleep for like... fifteen minutes? You can wake him sooner if you shake him awake, though. Just keep him like that until-"

I stop abruptly, a frown appearing on my face. "They are here... and one of them has magic... interesting. Please take Roman here somewhere safe. This might get a little messy."

I look back to see both of them gone.

"…"

That semblance is pretty broken all things considered.

The small door to the warehouse opens slowly as a black haired woman saunters in, she has pale skin, golden orange-ish eyes that glance around the warehouse full of shipping containers, she wears a dark red, off-the-shoulders v-neck mini dress with yellow markings around the collar and along the arms, the hip has a slit in it that exposes her long legs, and there is a blue feather-like accessory atop it. the dress ends barely past her thighs in a black frill-like portion of cloth. She also is wearing glass high heels.

A second and third figure walks through the door after her, the first a boring looking pale teen with grey eyes and grey hair, he wears a simple grey jacket and long black pants, the other is a little more interesting to look at.

She's a dark skinned girl with red eyes and minty green hair, she wears an olive and white colored crop top, she has white cropped pants with brown chaps that attach to her brown belt, and wears high heels.

'what's the deal with all these fucking idiots wearing high heels.'

The amber eyed woman frowns, gazing over me calculatedly.

"Where is your boss?"

"Hn. Quite. Roman's not my boss."

She gains a slightly more guarded expression. "Then who... pray tell... are you?"

"Gaius Decarabia." I answer idly as I get to my feet. "I am the man who will leave you broken, battered, and sobbing."

The woman looks amused for a moment. "Wh- is this some form of joke? I didn't think Roman was foolish enough to do this. But I suppose that I was too trusting of his intellect."

The grey haired teen suddenly blurs forwards, flipping through the air and lashing out with a jabbing kick.

I shift my body ever so slightly, allowing the side kick to pass by me effortlessly, as I glower at the teen.

I step back once, allowing a roundhouse kick from his extended leg to pass inches from my nose as a blast of wind from his foot gives him considerable momentum.

He ducks my lazy backhand and does a backflip to get out of my range.

He bounces two more paces back and raises his hands in a boxing stance.

"Cinder... this guy's good." He frowns. "Probably on par with that old guy."

"Oh? Quite skilled to determine just how outclassed you are with a single clash. Not bad. If your soul wasn't mangled in such a manner, I might have even offered you a job... you don't have true loyalty to her, do you?"

His eyes narrow slightly, then suddenly a kick impacts my chest, flipping me over.

I complete the backflip, landing on my feet and let out a low hum. "Hn. Illusions? That's quite annoying."

My eyes gain a slight gleam as I cast true seeing, everything clears, I can see Neo crouched behind a container, I see the black-haired woman readying a bow, the green haired girl is tightly gripping her two revolver sickles, the grey-haired teen is in the air, sending a scything roundhouse kick towards the side of my head.

I close my eyes and duck the attack.

My hand lashes out and snags a glass arrow out of the air as two bullets crash into my torso, each absorbed by Avalon.

I toss the arrow aside with a charming smile as I block another kick with my forearm and sweep his remaining leg as I step past.

He lands on his hands and twists around.

*Creaaak-cchhhz*

A hunk of metal flips through the air as I calmly continue walking, a crackling noise fills the air as the teen behind me collapses, his leg cut off at the knee, revealing his prosthetic.

His aura crackles as he lets out a grunt, the spell I had cast on him when I blocked his earlier kick doing its work. The faster he moves, the more damage he will take. And considering how fast his leg was moving in that kick?

It's no wonder it got cleaved off. I didn't even have to move.

I slowly walk forwards, arms folded behind my back.

My charming smile gains a slight edge as I tilt my head mere centimeters, avoiding a bullet to the forehead.

"One down... two to go..." I announce slowly, my gleaming purple eyes locking onto Emerald.

"Emerald. Cut off your semblance. It doesn't work on him." The half fall maiden commands, her eyes narrowed, her body slightly stiff, I can see it deep within her eyes... fear.

I gesture to the green haired girl. "You are now terrified of drowning..."

*FWOOSH*

A large orb of churning water appears on her, Cinder barely manages to dive out of the way, I continue my slow walk forwards.

The green haired girl's eyes widen as she drops her guns, bringing her hands to her throat as she struggles in the swirling globe of water.

Cinder lets out a snarl as her left eye begins to glow, fire crackles to life in her hand. "Damn you-"

"Fall." I hiss suddenly.

The woman's eyes widen as she collapses forwards, following my 'suggestion' to a T, she is then grasped by my 'hold person' spell.

The sounds from the warehouse seem to die out, the hissing and crackling of the wires on Mercury's stump, the noise of rushing water, the sound of cars and city life in the distance.

My shoes make audible tapping noises on the concrete floor as I continue to walk forwards.

"You are alone... girl..." I mutter slowly as I continue walking forwards, I see the maiden ever so slightly move her head to gaze up at me, undisguised terror covers her face. "There is only darkness for you... and death for your master..."

I finally reach the woman, pausing before her. "You are strong, girl... but I am beyond strength... I am... the end... and I have come for you, Cinder."

A tear falls down her cheek as I crouch down and slowly reach down towards her.

I curl my fingers and flick her forehead, shattering her aura completely as the ring on my finger glows.

I slowly stand, I look over to the orb of water then snap my fingers, causing it to disappear, the green hair suspended inside of the orb falling to the floor with a wet slap.

The rough landing seemingly jumpstarts her lungs, causing her to cough out the water which had begun entering her lungs.

Her entire body shudders, tears prickle her eyes, she drops to the floor and curls up in a little ball, shaking like a leaf in a storm, uncontrollably whimpering and crying.

A crystal sword appears in my grasp as I turn away from Cinder, I give it a slow twirl as I slowly look over to Neo- and Roman who is now awake, eyes wide in slight horror.

"Oi. Neo. What do you want me to do with these fucks?"

The world shatters briefly as Neo appears beside me, looking down at cinder with a smug grin.

She had legitimately teleported there. My true seeing can see through her illusion nows. She didn't move. "You name it, I can do it. Leave them tied up outside the city, shrink them down and put them in jars, trap them beneath the earth, subjugate their free will and you could be their boss, or I could just kill them."

The girl taps her chin as she narrows her eyes, then holds up four fingers.

"Subjugate their free will?" I question.

The ice cream girl smirks and nods slowly.

"Alright." I shrug as I twirl the sword in my grasp, the blade turns to light as I stab it into the back of the half fall maiden's head.

[Transfer!]

[Override!]

The blade glows brightly as the woman thrashes, black smoke billows from under her eye causing me to cringe.

I forgot she had a grimm parasite in there.

Her eyes gloss over, but eventually they regain sentience.

I stop holding her down with magic and frown.

She isn't the fall maiden anymore...

That parasite was probably holding the magic in her...

The black haired woman looks around slowly, locking eyes with Neo.

She bows her head immediately. "Master. What can I do for you today?"

A mischievous glint appears in Neo's eye as Neo points downwards.

Cinder falls onto her hands and knees and kisses the diminutive girl's boot, causing the heterochromatic psychopath to let out a silent cackle as she kicks Cinder in the face.

"I-I apologize." The used to be maiden stutters. "Was that not what you wanted?"

Neo strokes her chin, glancing at me, then points at the sobbing Emerald.

I hold an arm in front of her face, causing the wind arrow-like projectile to break on my forearm, her hair is ruffled, causing her eyes to widen slightly.

Mercury had finally maneuvered himself in a way after my spell wore off so he could shoot at me with his remaining boot.

His back slides across the concrete as he begins to re-orientate himself to try again.

Neo pulls my sleeve and points to the dark skinned girl, then points to Cinder. She then runs a hand across her throat and points to Mercury."

"Mindrape the girl and kill the guy, huh?" I blandly mutter.

She nods with a bright smile.

A dagger appears in my hand and with a flick of my wrist it rockets across the warehouse and sinks into Mercury's forehead, snapping it back with a dull 'thunk' and a splatter of gore.

I walk over to Emerald and raise the sword above her head, preparing to plunge it down at her. She doesn't even react; her eyes are clenched shut as she whimpers.

[Boost!]

I pause and wait for a few seconds.

[Boost!]

I stab downwards suddenly.

[Transfer!]

[Override!]

She stops shuddering as I remove the blade and slowly sits up, looking around blearily.

Her eyes light up upon seeing Neo. Her fear of drowning disappearing after I remove the phobia curse I placed upon her.

Roman slowly steps out from behind the container. "Who- no... what the hell are you?"

The sword in my grasp disappears as Emerald slowly approaches Neo. "U-Uh, Ma'am is there anything I can do for you?"

"My name is Gaius Decrarabia... I am a devil." I answer Roman's query.

The man's eyes narrow slightly. "Nobody does anything for free... what did you gain out of this?"

He gestures to Neo who is using Cinder like a stool and giving commands to Emerald.

"You're right... nobody does anything for free... as for what I've gained?"

I slowly approach Neo.

"Neo. It's time."

The girl looks up at me and blinks slowly, recollection crosses her eyes for a moment before she slumps slightly and nods, seemingly telling me to get it over with.

She holds up a hand suddenly and brings out a scroll.

"Will it hurt?"

"Nope." I answer with a small shake of my head.

She lets out a quiet breath then nods.

A white crystal pawn piece appears in my grasp.

"With this, our contract is complete." I announce.

"Now hold on a second." Roman begins. "What the hell are you doing?"

"How do I describe this in the most cruel, evil, and psychotic way possible?" I mutter while tapping my chin.

"To put it as bluntly and as evilly as possible, your niece here sold herself into what's basically slavery with benefits in exchange for me stopping her, her, and him from turning you into a corpse."

"What?" The man hisses, eyes narrowing as he clenches his cane.

"To put it in a non-evil way. I just offered her a job with a sign on bonus of me stopping Cinder and her goons from killing you, grants her a life span of upwards of several thousand years, an endless supply or gourmet ice cream, increases her physical and mental abilities along with appearance, and allows her to use powers based on her imagination. All at the cost of her sometimes doing things I tell her to do."

His eyes slide over to Neo who shrugs and nods.

"Oh, I'm also morally obligated to help her basically for free now as she'd be my underling." I continue as I turn back to face the multicolored girl.

"I'm going to have to ask you to not do that, brat." The man slowly states. "I will not let you enslave my niece."

"While gaining a peerage member might be typically attributed to slavery, the true extent of the master's control over the pieces extends merely as far as the master wishes, so while a ruthless bastard of a master might abuse their servants, as one of the five satans of the nicer faction of devils, my peerage is under constant scrutiny. The devil race, despite being a race of sin, do actually care about their servants, a master who torments and tortures their servants are typically arrested or executed... I would be no different."

"Also... I found that if people legitimately like you, and feel as if their thoughts are appreciated, they won't betray you at the very first chance they get. So realistically it is in my best interest to treat any and all of my servants with the care and respect they deserve." I finish with a small nod.

"I still don't-" Roman begins.

"Look, Roman." I state with a half lidded glare. "Neo accepted this... primarily for the ice cream if I had to guess, but it doesn't change the fact that she did accept this. I beat Cinder, and against my better judgement I gave Neo two servants. My side of the deal is finished; thus, she must follow through with her side."

The man narrows his eyes slightly as Neo nods slowly.

"This is an Evil piece; they are modeled after chess pieces. All high-class devils can get a set if they want them. It allows them to reincarnate other races- excluding gods- into Devils. Depending on the piece used, the devil created gains special abilities. A bishop increases magical power, a rook increases durability and strength, a knight increases speed, and a queen does all three. The pawn piece is different... it increases all abilities, sure, but not to the extent of the other pieces... yet it does give you the ability to promote into all other pieces whenever I deem. We use these Evil Pieces to create peerages which are typically used for a sport called a 'Rating Game' which is basically gladiatorial combat similar to that of your Vytal Festivals with a bunch of magic bullshit to keep people from dying."

Neo slowly blinks as I hold the piece out towards her, it glows brightly as it slowly approaches her chest.

She looks down with a small head tilt as the piece touches her chest and promptly slips through her clothing and into her skin.

She flinches briefly as it disappears into her body.

She looks around slowly, her eyes locking onto Emerald standing there...

She kicked the dark skinned girl in the knee, causing her to wince and hop on one leg for a moment.

"I should have never granted you such power over them." I sigh as I turn away. "You'll slowly turn into a devil over the course of an hour, you'll gain a demonic magic container, your bones and muscles will grow denser, you'll become more limber, you'll go from your current ten out of ten appearance to an eleven out of ten-"

The girl flinches back with a blush on her face as I continue on. "You'll grow retractable wings, your senses will grow several times more acute, so you might be a little disorientated, maybe even feel a little weaker in the sunlight, but both will pass with a little time. I'll be back in a day or so to teach you how to utilize your demonic magic, teaching the basic elemental spells and the ability to teleport through magic circle."

A large magic circle appears on the floor below me as I look back. "Oh, and if a green haired guy in a suit shows up, proclaiming that it is unusual for a devil to be in this world, just name drop me and he should leave you alone... he's the creator of the Evil pieces system."

I snap my finger, reappearing in Remnant's new underworld.

I was planning on calling it the 'Neo Underworld', but that would get pretty confusing with Neo the person.

'Demi-Underworld? Hmmm maybe I should just call it something completely different than 'Underworld'. The Underworld will become Earth's supernatural hub, this shall be Remnant's supernatural hub...'

Two names come to my mind. First 'The Abyss', taking the name from the home plane of demons from dungeons and dragons, or the second option is 'The Shade'… which has no special meaning beyond Shades being a type of ghost and the underworld is supposed to have souls of the dead in it.

I'll flip a coin. Name this place one of the two, then save the other name for world three's supernatural hub.

I feel a gentle tug on my body. "Oh? Another contract? Already? Damn... when it's not Neo, people typically notice the spooky paper with Eldritch writing on it."

With a flash I teleport again.

I re-appear in the human realm with my arms cross and my eyes closed.

I smirk slowly and open my eyes, taking in my new location slowly.

Two beds sit before me, one with a red pillow, and one with yellow, a small drawer with a lamp on it sits in between the two beds, the wall is wood paneled, and the roof seems to slant downwards, towards the heads of the beds. To the side, there is a shelf with numerous whittled beowolf statues on it.

Two girls are in front of me, frozen in shock, it looks as if they were fighting before I got here... but not in a 'legitimate' fighting manner, more of a 'I'm your sibling trying to take that thing in your hand' sort of fight.

One is a black haired girl with red tips, pale skin, and silvery eyes, she wears a black button up shirt with polka dots on it, and matching pants. Pajamas of some sort.

The other has long blonde hair, purple eyes, and is wearing a tank top and short shorts.

They both stare owlishly at me, the silver eyed girl has her hand on the blonde's cheek as she balances on one foot, the blonde has her other leg trapped in between her hip and her hand while her other hand is reaching for the paper in the younger girl's hand.

"So..." I begin slowly. "You have summoned me?"

""KYAAAAA-""

Oh son of a bitch.

[Endsplit]