Two loves

"..."

I froze for a moment.

"This... is so cruel..."

From the front rows, a girl stood up and shouted:

«NO!»

It took me a moment to realise it was Celeste. I had never heard such dismay in her voice before.

My heart was filled with a mixture of anger and sadness, but unlike her, I was not surprised.

A part of me had always known that reality could not be so convenient, so I never really believed the optimistic theories my friend had shared with me. 

No, in my heart I knew that my idol's past cast an ominous shadow. I had also thought that sooner or later we would meet him, and it would not be a pleasant encounter.

"But... not like this! What the hell happened to him?"

The attractive man whose face I had gazed upon time and again in photographs no longer existed.

I had not been so wrong in my initial prediction after all: the figure in the cage looked very much like a wild beast.

There seemed to be no sanity left in his eyes. His face was marred by several scars and swellings, his body seemed deformed in several places.

"Has the Aldric I admired never really existed? Is this... thing... the human weapon created by the Academy years ago?"

No... that was not possible. After all, he was a celebrity, he had been seen in public several times and numerous accounts had been published by his fellow adventurers, recounting his exploits in the campaign against the Demon King.

But an unsettling thought crept into my mind:

"What if it was all a big lie?"

Maybe the handsome young man I knew was just a body double. The stories could have been nothing more than fiction. 

Perhaps the vaguely human-looking creature now in front of me was the one that had actually defeated the Demon King.

"What the hell did they do to him to bring him to such a state?"

That sinister glow surrounding him surely had something to do with it.

"Skylark said he has ways to control him."

I didn't know of any spells that could achieve complete mind control , but of course I couldn't be sure that the Academy hadn't invented one and kept it hidden.

"But this thing doesn't even seem to have a mind in the first place."

I looked into Aldric's dull eyes again.

Meanwhile, the Headmaster spoke again:

«Our alumnus, Sir Aldric, will be released from the barrier half an hour after the start of the event. If you don't want to get your hands dirty, he'll take care of it. I think that's about it, all I can say to you now is... good luck!»

Skylark left the classroom, leaving us alone with Aldric, who remained motionless in his barrier, staring into nowhere.

He didn't look like he could even hurt a fly but something told me it wasn't all a bluff.

If this Aldric was the real deal and had even a fraction of the power described in the countless books I had read about him, we were doomed.

I bit my lip.

"We have to find a way to avoid him..."

I doubted even Sophia would be able to do anything against him.

A hand rested on my thigh again, but this time it was Amy's.

My friend seemed to be shaking with fear, but when she spoke it was to express her concern for me:

«Lizzie, are you ok?!»

«Um, yeah...»

After the initial terror I had felt, staring into those dead eyes, I seemed to have calmed down quickly.

Sure, I was scared of what was going to happen to us, but I hadn't lost my mind.

"I guess I should thank Finch if I meet him in the afterlife..."

I would have done anything to protect Amy and Sophia, even if it meant facing my idol.

"My idol... my guiding light..."

Maybe that was what Amy was worried about.

"Shouldn't I be... more... shocked?"

Aldric had been everything to me in the past. His story had shown me the path I wanted to take in my future by making me realise that I could aspire to something other than the boredom of my small town, and as such had given my life meaning. And for that...

"I should be devastated..."

Even if Aldric's entire story was not complete fiction, its triumphant conclusion was a lie.

His strength had only led him to become a human weapon in the hands of the Crown, so much for the hero of the common people.

"But why... am I so calm?"

«Let's go! We have to come up with a plan.»

I followed Sophia and Amy, my mind still trying to come up with an answer to that question.

«I think the best thing to do is to stay as far away from Aldric as possible and wait for this to blow over. Fighting is risky, we could be targeted by several groups of students.

Elizabeth, you wouldn't happen to know any magic that would allow us to monitor Aldric, would you?... Elizabeth, are you listening?!»

«Um... yes, sorry...»

We had moved to Amy's room, the closest to the classroom, to plan a strategy. But while Sophia and Amy were talking, my thoughts had returned to that question.

«This is no time to have your head in the clouds!» Sophia blurted out.

But she quickly seemed to regret that rash reaction and put a hand on my shoulder and said:

«I'm sorry... I know it can't be easy to see the person you were inspired by reduced to that state. But you said it yourself, last time, after the tournament... we can't afford to hesitate.»

"Maybe she thinks I'm getting cold feet like last time..."

But it was the opposite that had confused me.

But she was right, this was not the time to think about it.

«Don't apologise, you're right. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything I can do to keep an eye on him. The only thing I can think of is to summon a familiar, but I never learned how to do that.»

«I see...»

«We could ask Celeste to come with us. Maybe she knows how to do it...» Amy tried with a hint of a voice.

«No,» Sophia replied quickly.

"So she hasn't quite got over it," I thought.

But Sophia immediately noticed the smirk I gave her.

«It's not what you think. I just want to avoid being in too big of a group. If our strategy is to hide and avoid confrontation, it's better to be fewer in number to attract less attention.»

"If you say so..."

But I quickly became serious again.

"Avoid confrontation... But what will we do if we are forced to face Aldric?"

Running was probably the best idea.

"But, not considering his magic power, if he moves those inhuman muscles we have no chance of escaping him."

I looked at my two friends: Sophia was deep in thought again, Amy seemed to have calmed down for a moment, but I could still see her hands trembling on her lap.

"If it's necessary... I'll at least try to slow him down."

To be honest, I wasn't sure if my spells would have any effect against such an opponent, but every second could be precious.

"I don't want to die, but if it means protecting these two..."

Losing my life to Aldric would have been ironic.

"If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have fought so hard to get stronger and I might not even be here. He basically made me what I am."

«OH!»

I had finally understood.

My exclamation made both Amy and Sophia jump in surprise. I looked into Sophia's eyes.

"So that's why..."

But what should I do now? Telling her everything, would have been incredibly cruel to her if I had lost my life within a few hours.

"But... it's a precious moment I want to live before the end."

I took a deep breath.

«Sophia... I need to talk to you.»

«Okay... does it have something do with why you just gave me a heart attack?»

«Sort of...»

«So? Spit it out.»

I looked at Amy, who nodded:

«I meant in private.»

Sophia frowned:

«In private? What's the matter with you? It's almost as if you haven't realised what's going to be in store for us in a few hours!»

«I... that's exactly why I need to talk to you now... I may never get another chance.»

«We still have some time. Go! I'll wait for you here,» Amy interjected.

Sophia still didn't look convinced, but when I grabbed her hand, she let herself be led out of the room without resistance.

"Where to?...!"

As luck would have it, we had the perfect spot available.

When we reached the roof, it was deserted, just as I had imagined.

"It's practically impossible to hide up here and there's only one way out... This place will not be very popular today..."

There were only three hours left before the battle and the sun was beginning to set.

I let go of Sophia and approached the edge of the roof, holding out my hand. As I expected, it was stopped by an unseen force.

"Freedom is so close... and yet so far away."

«How about we try to destroy this barrier and jump?»

Sophia huffed as she approached:

«I told you... if it were that easy, Skylark would have to be an idiot. I don't know about you, but I'm not keen on exploding right now.»

«Maybe he's counting on us not to call his bluff.»

«He may be, but I'm not going to risk it... while there's still hope,» Sophia commented, «so what do you have to tell me that's so important? Are you sure it can't wait until after the battle?»

«I've read enough books to know that saying "I have something to tell you after the battle" would be akin to a death sentence!»

This remark finally seemed to crack the seriousness Sophia had maintained since Skylark's announcement. She smiled at me and remained silent, waiting.

Strangely, the words came out easily:

«You know... I've been thinking, I've never told you much about my past. But it's not like there's much to say about it. When I was a little kid, everything was fine, but as soon as I got a little older, I began to feel that the small town I lived in was a prison. Every day was the same, passing slowly without anything interesting happening.

The only moments of excitement were when a few traders arrived from the capital, bringing with them tales of the exploits of the most powerful wizards in the kingdom. But, soon, even these moments began to turn bitter.»

My gaze wandered off into the distant clouds.

«My dream was to free myself from the shackles that kept me anchored to that boring mundanity. But those stories made me realise that my wish was unlikely to come true. After all, all those famous heroes I heard about belonged to the nobility, so what could an ordinary girl born in the middle of nowhere like me do? But that childish dream stayed with me, unbroken.»

I smiled faintly.

«And that's when Aldric came into the picture. The brightest star in the whole magical firmament. And he came from humble beginnings, just like me!

Suddenly, my dream didn't seem so unattainable, and thanks to him, I really started to believe in it.

You know, I've been thinking lately... maybe Aldric was my first love after all. I don't mean I loved the man himself, but what he represented for me.

If love is the feeling that gives meaning to our lives, then for me he was exactly that. He was the light that guided me towards my goal: to push myself beyond my limits, to grow stronger until I could break free from the cage in which I was imprisoned, to fly away towards a future full of glory and adventure.

It's what has driven my life for so long... what has brought me this far. It is ironic that this path has only led me to another cage. Just like him.» I said as my hand touched the barrier again.

«Elizabeth...»

I gestured with my hand to stop her:

«It's ok, really! I realised it just some minutes ago,» I told her calmly, «you see, when I saw him in that state I felt fear, anger and sadness but... not despair. That's why I was confused... to be confronted with the proof that everything I believed in was a mere illusion should have destroyed me. But... it didn't.»

I paused a little, looking at the dying sun.

«The truth is that I had already left Aldric and what he represented to me behind. Don't get me wrong, even if the man I admired may have never actually existed, I am still grateful to him for the influence he had on me, even though he brought me to this damn school. Without him, I wouldn't be the same person I am.»

"If I hadn't come here, I wouldn't have met Sophia after all... maybe I crazy like Celeste."

I giggled, as Sophia looked at me confused.

«You see, it's also because of your past that I realised it. The obsession with being stronger can itself be a chain if it is driven by the wrong reasons.

In the end all I was trying to do by chasing Aldric was to try to hide my insecurities, it was because I wasn't happy with who I was. I think the same applies to you, you are not chasing Aldric, but you want to get accepted by your parents.

But going on this way... we will never be happy, because the strength we gain will never be enough if we don't accept ourselves and our weaknesses first.

I now you don't like her, but look at Celeste: if she's always so stupidly happy when she fights or trains it's because she's just doing it for fun!»

Sophia still looked confused. It was clear she didn't understand where the hell I was going with this.

"The time has come..."

«You see... what I want to say is that if I wasn't so shocked to see my dreams crumbling before me, it's because since we've been here I've found new ones.

I still want to get stronger, but not to become a hero or anything like that. No... I want to have the strength to break this cage that keeps us trapped, so that I can finally be free.

I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but instead of accepting the grim fate that awaits us here, I want to create a new path that belongs to me alone, without chasing anyone.

And I want to do it together with you.»

Sophia's confused expression changed to one of surprise. But I wasn't finished, this time I would leave no room for misunderstandings.

I took her hands in mine and smiled at her:

«In the end, you could say that I have forgotten my first love because I have found another, one that is much closer to my heart. You! I love you, Sophia!»

Her eyes widened even more. Her hands trembled in mine, but I squeezed them tighter.

At my silence, Sophia began to stammer:

«I-I, a-as I told you the other day... you are the most important person to me, I also consider you my most important friend...»

Whether she really misunderstood or was just trying to play dumb wasn't important, I wasn't going to let her. I wanted an answer, even if it wasn't the one I desired.

«When I say I love you, I don't mean as a friend. I want us to be more than that.

I know we're both girls and you might think it's weird... but I want us to be a couple, with all that that entails.

I've asked you this before, but this time I want a straight answer: what am I to you, Sophia?

If you want us to remain friends, nothing will change. It will make me sad for a while, but I will accept it,» I interrupted her.

At my words, the remnants of Sophia's composure seemed to shatter into many small pieces. Her face turned so red that for a moment I feared she would evaporate before my eyes.

Her lips trembled as if she were about to burst into tears.

"I kinda feel guilty..."

Having your best friend suddenly confess her love to you just a couple of hours before a deadly battle was not an easy situation to be in, especially for someone like her who struggled to express her feelings.

But, to my surprise, the girl took a deep breath and when she spoke, her voice was firm again:

«I... I want to give you an answer, Elizabeth. But I'm really confused... I don't want to hurt you because I don't really understand how I feel...»

I smiled at her. Sophia was taking this seriously, that was enough for now. I couldn't really push her any further.

«I feel you. Before I confessed my feelings to you, I had to think about it a lot. I am sorry for putting you in such a difficult situation all of a sudden. Think about it and let me know...»

A part of me couldn't help but feel disappointed as I left her hands.

"Maybe I was hoping for a scenario like "I've loved you all this time too!" or something like that..."

But as soon as I let go, it was Sophia who grabbed me.

«You didn't understand me, idiot. You said it... this might be the last chance we get. So if you want an answer... explain to me what love is, Elizabeth.»

«HUH?!»

My face caught fire at that extremely embarrassing question. She too was, if possible, even redder than before. Together we could have heated a room.

«Um... okay.»

I thought back to the questions I had asked myself a few nights before.

«I... my heart beats wildly when I'm with you, I often can't think straight, and when I'm away from you... my thoughts always come back to you...»

«The same goes for me,» Sophia replied without hesitation.

"..."

«I want you to be happy, I want to help you overcome your past traumas. I want to protect you and let you escape from this academy. I want to be always by your side and... I want no one to be there but me.»

«From what you've told me, it sounds like you're much more at peace with yourself than I am... but otherwise, yes. I'm fine with Amy being around you, but... not... other people.»

"Then she was really just jealous of Celeste after all..."

«Um and... I don't think this is a temporary thing... I've been thinking about it for a long time. Loves can end, I know... but I want to believe that ours can last until the day I die!»

«If what I feel for you is love... I don't want it to end.»

There was one last thing that would undoubtedly mark the kind of relationship we would have in the future.

"But telling her..."

I swallowed and steeled myself.

«I... I think you are beautiful. From the first moment your face captivated me... but since you've started smiling more, I find you irresistible. I... want to hug you... k-kiss you and... do... o-other things.»

«Please don't ask me what I mean by that...»

But Sophia had only needed to hear the word 'kiss' to go into obvious panic. When she had calmed down, the look she gave me made my heart melt:

«I... you must have noticed... lately I feel like I want to be as close to you as possible. When I hold your hand... it gives me a strange... pleasant feeling.»

"AAAAH! She's so pure!"

I was a pervert compared to her.

But that was all I had...

Sophia seemed to understand too. Finally, looking into my eyes, she said:

«I love you, Elizabeth. I don't really care if people may find it weird. If it's me you want... I'll be your girlfriend. I will cause you as much trouble as usual, but I hope we can be happy together.»

«Sophia!»

I hugged her with such strenght that I lifted her up in the air.

"I guess all that training was useful after all."

«You don't have to be so uptight... we're a couple! You can let yourself go!» I said to her.

«I'M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE RIGHT NOW!» she shouted into my ear, deafening me.

I looked at her, tears streaming down her face. It was the second time I had seen her cry, but this time it was from happiness.

«Don't do that, please...» I replied.

My face was wet with tears too.

One or maybe both of us might have lost our lives soon, but I was happy that I had created this extremely bright moment. It would have shed light even in the impenetrable darkness of death.

After a while, we parted.

«But about what you said... I don't really know how to behave. I had just learned to be a friend and now I find myself a girlfriend...»

«I'm no expert myself... but I know where we can start.»

As I brought my face closer to hers, I saw Sophia's eyes widen before I closed mine.

Our lips touched for the first time.

For a moment, I truly felt like my heart was flying away, free of all thoughts and worries.

The Academy, Skylark, Aldric and our likely tragic end all seemed so distant and insignificant.

It was just me and her.

But like everything else, this perfect moment came to an end.

"If I want to win a future where I can feel like this forever... I'll have to fight."

«That... was... amazing...» Sophia whispered.

I wanted to remember our first kiss forever.

But at Sophia's words, an evil thought crossed my mind. I brought my face close to hers again.

This time Sophia closed her eyes and offered me her lips in anticipation.

But instead of kissing her, I stuck the tip of my index finger into her mouth.

"I'm such an idiot..."

Sophia opened her eyes wide and looked at me, bewildered.

«What the fuck...?!»

«Unsatisfied? You've been putting me through hell for the past week, touching and hugging me all the time.»

«How is it my fault that you waited until the last moment to talk to me? You're a huge idiot!»

«Sorry... you're right. It's just that... my girlfriend is so cute that I couldn't resist bullying her a little!» and I ran off in the direction of the magic seal, giggling.

«Cute?!» exclaimed Sophia, chasing after me.

After all, if I had wanted a relationship made up only of tender moments, I would not have fallen in love with this girl.

I was looking forward to making new, precious memories with her.

But I had to overcome a huge obstacle.

The battle for our future was about to begin.