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Dudley Dursley and the Diabolical Do-Over (Harry Potter)

In which Dudley Dursley is given a chance to go back and have his way with the wizarding world. Of course he's going to take it.

CambrianBeckett · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
42 Chs

Chapter 1

As they come to a stop outside of the Leaky Cauldron, Petunia finds herself reflecting on the strange turn these last few weeks have been. Petunia… has never been as pretty as her sister. She's slender, blonde, and somewhat willowy. One might have called her elegant, but she had always been more plain than elegant, and somewhat worn out by age.

Not like her younger sister, who had never once in her life been referred to as 'worn out'. Lily Evans, even before she'd grown up to become a curvaceous, voluptuous beauty, had always been a vivacious and altogether rambunctious girl. Their parents had always said it had to due with Lily's red hair, making the girl a firecracker that just couldn't stop going off. But Petunia knew better. It was the magic. Magic was what had made Lily so much more alive than Petunia had ever felt. Magic was what had made Lily seem like she was in focus, in color, while Petunia and her entire world felt drab and lifeless and colorless.

There was a reason that Petunia had longed to learn magic before her desire had ever turned into resentment when she was told it was impossible. She hated Lily for that, for being the lucky one, for being the special one. Petunia might not have been a genius, but she was more than intelligent enough to know when she'd been robbed.

All the same, when Lily and Harry had effectively been dropped off on their doorstep all those years ago, Petunia had done her duty. Family was more important than her own petty grievances, and she knew that, even if she didn't like it. Still, she'd dreaded the day that Harry would likely go off to Hogwarts, she'd dreaded the day that that accursed letter would arrive for her nephew but not her son… just like it'd arrived for her sister, but not her.

That was why Petunia had never corrected Vernon when he called Harry's bouts of unintentional magic freakishness. That was why she never bothered to explain to Harry exactly what it was he was doing. Because… of course Petunia knew. How could she not? She'd grown up with Lily, she'd been there that date when the Professor had told them everything. When a magical child was growing up, strange things tended to happen around them. This unintentional, or 'accidental' magic was perfectly normal and perfectly natural. Hogwarts existed specifically to teach wizards and witches a way to control their magic so that it stopped happening.

But Petunia didn't want Harry to go to Hogwarts, if she was being honest. She didn't… she didn't want her nephew to be happy in the same way Lily had, to go off to a magical school in a magical world and leave them behind, year after year. Was that wrong of her? Perhaps, but Petunia had lived drowning in her pettiness and resentment for far too long to stop now.

Imagine her surprise, however, when the letter didn't come for Harry. Imagine her surprise when the letter came for Dudley instead. Dudley Dursley, her beloved son… was the one to receive a Hogwarts Acceptance Letter.

Petunia was not unobservant. She'd noticed that the accidental magic Harry had been performed had died down this last year or so. She'd noticed that things almost seemed to be calming down in their household. But then Dudley had turned thirteen and he'd received a Hogwarts Letter. In the muggle post at that! She supposed that it made sense. The Dursleys might have been muggles, but they were well aware of magic, and her own past circumstances meant they really didn't need a Professor to come and tell them all about the magical world.

Still… Dudley Dursley, a wizard? Petunia hadn't known what to think at the time. It had seemed like a mistake. But then Dudley had looked at her with wide eyes and sparks had shot out of them as he'd begged her to let him go. If that wasn't a sign…

Needless to say, if Petunia didn't know what to think, Vernon was a whole other story altogether. Her husband didn't hold truck with all of this unnaturalness… but at the end of the day, better it be Dudley then their nephew. Better their son be the one with this power than anyone else. After all, the Dursleys were inherently greedy and selfish people.

Still, not even for Dudley was Vernon willing to set foot on a wizard street. Not even for Dudley would the man enter Diagon Alley. That was just fine, in Petunia's opinion. It was selfish of her… but she'd wanted this for herself, in the end. Which was why the moment was ever so slightly spoiled by the presence of one Lily Evans Potter standing beside her and her diddykins.

Shooting a glare over at her sister, Petunia scoffs, just a tad, reflecting on Lily's circumstances as well. The other woman… wasn't stupid, per say. She just didn't quite connect things properly anymore. She was a tad daft, and a bit slow. She behaved like a docile bimbo of a woman; truth be told. Not very smart, but obedient to any orders put her way.

"Well… let's go inside, you two."

Dudley is practically vibrating with excitement, and even though it's Petunia who says they should go inside, it's Dudley who leads the way. Her darling son pushes his way into the Leaky Cauldron quite happily, while Petunia shudders a bit at the immediate change in atmosphere, at the difference between the interior and the muggle street outside. It's like night and day, but luckily Petunia has been here before. They came prepared.

Of course, vindictive and petty as Petunia is, she has Lily dressed up like a street walker. After all, her dear sister is a widow… she's never going to find a man if she doesn't flaunt that slutty body of hers! Clad in a skimpy blouse and a mini skirt, Lily definitely draws eyes from the customers of the Leaky Cauldron as she passes through with Petunia and Dudley. Meanwhile, Petunia has made sure her, and her son are dressed more conservatively. Of course, she doesn't have robes for them to wear to truly fit in but remembering her own time in Diagon Alley with Lily, back before the resent had fully taken ahold, Petunia had done her best to make them look like they belonged.

In the end, after making a request to the Leaky Cauldron' bartender to open the way, they make their way over to the brick wall and step on through. Petunia can't deny… she greatly enjoys the look of wonder on her Dudley's face as he gazes at Diagon Alley for the first time. She never would have wanted to bring him here if he didn't have magic, hell, she hadn't had any intentions of escorting Harry here, even if a Hogwarts letter had come for her nephew.

But, ultimately… everything had turned out far differently than Petunia had ever expected. Never in her wildest dreams did she think her son would be a wizard. All the signs had pointed to Harry… but now here they were. Dudley was the one they were here for. Dudley was the one getting school supplies in Diagon Alley for his upcoming year at Hogwarts.

"Mum? You alright?"

Petunia blinks at the sudden sound of her son's voice, looking down to find him staring at her in concern. It's only then that she realizes she's gotten choked up, only then that she realizes there are tears in her eyes. Not tears of anger, sadness, or jealousy though. No… these are tears of joy. Letting out a gasp of laughter, Petunia wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and looks to Dudley with a wobbly sort of smile.

"Never better, my beloved diddykins. This… this is perhaps the happiest moment of my life."

Dudley, rather than acting his age and getting embarrassed, shows some of that beautiful maturity he's been showing the past year and gives her a knowing grin before squeezing her hand comfortingly.

"I'm glad, mum. Now… where too first?"

Right, she was the only one who'd actually been here before. Or rather, she was the one who had been here before and had all of her mental faculties. Speaking of which, Lily was also staring around in wide-eyed wonder, a dopy smile on her face. It looked like she was happy to be back, though based on the looks she was getting, no one recognized the scantily clad bimbo as the brilliant witch who had once been Lily Evans Potter.

Grabbing Lily's hand so the woman can't go wandering off, Petunia begins leading both her sister and her son forward, walking with purpose towards the large marble building at the end of the street.

"First… first is Gringotts, my son. That's where we'll get some wizard money for school supplies."

"And where we'll check on Aunt Lily's accounts, right mum?"

Petunia just smiles and nods, curious to see if her young son's surprising idea would pan out or not. Dudley had such a bright mind, and a good head on his shoulders to boot. Though, whether or not having Lily with them would allow them to access the Potter Vault… well, they'd have to wait and see.

-x-X-x-

Wonder of wonders, Petunia now had a secondary key to access the Potter Vault. Given that Lily wasn't allowed to keep her key under the current circumstances, it might as well have been the primary. As they make their way down into the depths of the Goblin Bank, only Dudley's whoops of delight making the mine cart ride at all tolerable, Petunia can't help but be… amazed, just a tad.

It turned out that Gringotts allowed for muggle documentation when making their decisions about their clients. Things like power of attorney and such… the goblins had absolutely no issues with accepting documentation so long as everyone had agreed to everything and it was all legally binding. When Dudley had suggested that Petunia have a doctor declare Lily unfit to take care of herself and assign Petunia as her primary caretaker, the woman hadn't been too sure about it.

But now, there was no denying that being Lily's Power of Attorney was coming in handy. Significantly so. Of course, unbeknownst to Petunia, it had helped quite a bit that both her and her son were exceptionally polite to Griphook, the goblin in charge of the Potter Accounts. But then, how could they do anything but be polite? Sure, he wasn't human. Sure, he was small and ugly and strange-looking.

But then, weren't plenty of muggle bankers much the same way? Perhaps not all of them were as small and ugly as Griphook, but plenty were balding, or fat, or merely hard to look at. The life of a banker was usually one of excess and decadence, but it wasn't particularly glamorous. That said, Petunia and Dudley both had a healthy respect for banking institutions, given their own innate greed. Money was power, and the banks had quite a lot of both.

As a result, both Petunia and Dudley had treated Griphook with respect, just like they would a manager or a banker in a major muggle bank. He was after all in charge of the Potter Account, Lily's account, so it only made sense that they would do their best to get into his good graces. Neither of them knew anything about the Goblin Rebellions at this point. Neither of them knew anything about the strained relations between goblins and wizards. If they had, they both would have been appalled at the very idea that wizards and witches were stupid enough to leave their money in the hands of borderline enemies.

As it stood, Petunia and Dudley had managed to unknowingly endear themselves to Griphook simply by being less racist then their pureblood counterparts. Where a normal wizard or witch would have acted disdainfully around the goblins of Gringotts, Petunia and Dudley showed perfect respect, and even some awe when they could not hide it.

In the end, they'd made all the right moves, without even realizing it. As they come to a screeching halt, Dudley's whoops ends with a laugh, while Petunia exhales slowly. Griphook, meanwhile, looks back at them both with a grin and a nod.

"We're here."

Petunia, Dudley, and finally Lily all pile out of the cart after Griphook. As they make their way over to a truly ancient looking vault door, Griphook grunts and pipes up again.

"Your nephew also has a Trust Fund Vault elsewhere, Mrs. Dursley. But Albus Dumbledore currently has the sole key, and as Harry Potter's magical guardian, he has say over who gets access to THAT vault."

Petunia blinks owlishly at that one.

"… But not this one?"

Griphook just grins at her, his beady eyes sliding over to Lily knowingly, even as the red head stands there smiling all dopy-like.

"Of course not. Not while Lady Potter still lives, anyways."

Petunia couldn't even begin to understand how that worked exactly. Magic, perhaps. Either way, when Griphook directs her to place the key she'd been given into the vault door, Petunia does as she's told. The door opens up without a fuss, and as it slides up into the ceiling, Petunia can only stare, and Dudley right alongside her.

"Mum… it's… beautiful."

The Potter Vault is immense and filled to the absolute brim with stacks and stacks of gold galleons. Not just gold and silver and copper, though there's a lot of it. There's also piles and heaps of jewels and gems, as well as assorted statues and artwork that Petunia is sure is worth a fortune, if it's being kept in here.

Needless to say, it's the most riches Petunia has ever seen in her entire life. But… it's not truly theirs, now is it? Looking to Griphook as Dudley slowly wanders inside, the muggle woman quietly licks her lips.

"How much… how much are we allowed to withdraw?"

Griphook's beady eyes glint and he grins knowingly once more, seeing right through her to the greed in her heart, she can tell. But she can also tell that he doesn't judge her for it… if anything, he applauds her for it.

"So long as you have Lady Potter with you? As much as you like. Of course, once your nephew reaches his magical majority and comes of age, he'll be recognized as Lord Potter and these vaults will be his, so long as he comes for them."

Petunia nods slowly at that, still processing, even as Dudley has already taken the sack they brought along and is filling it with golden galleons, pouring them in by the fistful. She doesn't say anything about her suspicions regarding Harry and his suddenly absent magic. For now… for now, she has Lily. Which means she has the key to this wealth, both figuratively and literally…

-x-X-x-

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