Second Chances-Julia

The lecture that he gives me ends on a whisper as I stare at him. He cant even look at me as he goes into the rant. I don't even think that he is thinking as he speaks. However, I do see his pain. He paints such a vivid picture that I can imagine it. Without meaning too he tells me everything that he has seen or gone through while he was here.

My heart hurts as I look at the broken man in front of me. He seems so different from how everyone at the clan described him. Instead of strong and talented, he looks defeated. Instead of happy and jolly, he just looks sad. Instead of larger and boisterous, he looks smaller in my presence. I don't even know what to say to him.

"I'm sorry about what you have gone through Jefferson" I say lowly as I crouch in my corner. The room seems down right freezing now with out my clothes. I don't even know why the bastard felt the need to take them in the first place.

"I don't want you to be sorry Julia. I want you to not go through it. Don't make me watch you go through it. Despite all the torture that I have seen and been through here, I am still here. If I had to watch my mate, the only good thing that I will ever have go through it, then he gets what he wants. I will be broken just like him" he states.

The words that he speaks are so sad. It sounds as if he lacks all hope. I frown as I ponder his statements. He doesn't even know me. I cant mean anything to him. There is no mate bond here. He should just be able to let me go now that I have rejected me. He shouldn't feel anything at all or care for me just like every other man I have come across. I should feel no guilt at his words but I do.

I don't understand what he wants me to say after such a confession. I don't even know what to do. I don't want to be the reason that someone breaks. All my life I have seen the women in my family break. I have even promised myself not to become one of them.

"I don't mean anything to you Jefferson. I have denied the mate bond. If something happens to me, you wont feel it. You can still get out of here and enjoy a good life. You can get away from you asshole brother" I tell him as I stare at the wall. His laughter shocks me and I end up looking at him as his eyes shine yellow.

"You have been in my clan. You have seen the mates and you say you mean nothing to me. You are everything to a dragon. You are our future. A reason to get up everyday and fulfill a purpose. You are the reason we are okay walking this world alone for so long, just so that we have a chance of meeting you. You are the very hope for us that humans look for in every partner. Its not a life sentence, it's the ultimate gift. The gift of unconditional love that knows no bounds and has no limits. You are everything" He demands.

My heart pounds in my chest as I hear the value of his words. I can hear how much he believes them. They send me and my brain into a panic and I break the eye contact that we had. The room plunges into silence as I try to find anything in it to look at beside him. I cant be all that to a person. Hell I definitely cant be it to two. What do I even know about being with anyone? I have ended every relationship in my life before anyone grew too attached.

I cant be everything that someone needs because I don't know what it is that someone needs. The only people in my life I have ever truly cared about are my mom and Emily. I don't do people. I don't do attachments. My breath saws in and out of my chest as I start to panic. I have to get out of here. I cant do this. Words are just words at the end of the day. They will be better off once they don't know me just like every one else. Its only a matter of time before I am alone again.

"Julia….Julia… JULIA!!" He shouts. My eyes fill with tears as he snaps me out of the trance that my mind has gone in. My eyes fly to his as I try to calm down but I cant seem to. I rise from the corner in which I had crumpled in and start to pace the room in a frenzy. My hands bang against the wall as I try to find a way out. I cant breathe in here I have to get out.

"Julia…. Baby you have to listen to me. You are having a panic attack. Just breathe" he shouts.

But I can't. I'm trying. But I can't. I don't even feel the pain in my hands as I pound against the walls of this place.

A sound travels through the air. It's something loud enough to break through my trance as I collapse against the floor. I feel as my knees hit the floor. It something catches me as I fall. Tingles erupt all over my skin as I try to focus.

When I finally can all I see are yellow eyes. They flicker as they watch me and I feel as I start to calm. I should be panicked being in his arms. I've heard what the mate bond does to the makes. It dribble them crazy to be with there mate. However, the only thing I feel is calm. It's with that feeling that I finally give up and let the world fade to black.

When I wake up, my eyes feel like sandpaper. It's warm though and I squint against the light of the room. It hurts my eyes too much and I close them once more. Deciding that a few more minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt, I snuggle back into the warm surface that has become my pillow.

The rumble sound under my ear vibrates my whole body and I chuckle. The odd purring sound happens again and this time I poke it with a finger. Someone's breath catching besides my own has be jumping up to a sitting position.

I hurriedly rub the sleep from my eyes so that I can see properly. The light flooding in causes me to blink rapidly as something beneath me moves. My hands detach from my eyes as I go to steady myself. All the sleep leaves my body when my hands land against warm flesh.

My eyes fly to his face as I'm greeted by a slow smile and his shining yellow eyes. I freeze what I'm doing as I quickly assess the situation. The tingles from where my body touch his causes my nipples to tighten as my breathing picks up in panic.

I try to scurry off of him but am stopped by gentle hands as they grab my face. "You took a fall before you passed out. Are you in pain anywhere?" He ask in a smooth baritone.

The way he is holding my head makes it hard to focus. My hands still haven't left his chest and my body has made it fully aware of just how close I am to him. My eyes swim across his features as I really have a good look at him.

He sure is something beautiful of a man. Even with the facial hair and I normally don't go for that sort of thing. His lips barely peek out from the length of his mustache but it draws my eyes. His cheek bones look slim below his piercing eyes. The body that I sit on is thin but it doesn't lack muscle. He's wide and my knees don't touch the ground as i straddle him.

"Jules, are you alright?" He ask. I mile at the nick name as I finally focus on his voice.

I nod my head at him and try once more to move. I'm afraid that if I don't move soon he will see how my body is reacting to him. It would be wrong to keep giving him the wrong idea.

"I'm just going to get up now" I say to him slowly. His eyes have still yet to change back. I know when speaking with their beast that one must tread with caution.

The words of Emily play in my head as I move slowly. She said that the beast will always claim before the man. I refused the man but I know his beast won't take my answer so easily. He does let me move though. I roll to the side as I crouch next to him and his eyes follow me.

I cock my head wondering what he is thinking. The look on his face is hard to recognize but it almost looks like wonder. I look around the room to break his gaze. Maybe he is looking at something behind me. I try to tell myself that there is no way that someone would be looking at me like this. However when I turn back to him, it is to see that his facial expression has not changed.

I rise from the floor awkwardly as I search the room. So many thoughts feel my head that I don't know how to form them into words. Everything I want to say is negative and a part of me cant bare to hurt his feelings. I just know that he shouldn't want someone like me. I hear him rise from the floor but I still cant look at him. instead I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"So, I see that you broke out of your chains. I guess this means you are pretty strong huh" I ask as I try to cover myself. Where all the confidence came from before I have no idea but I suddenly feel very naked.

"Yeah, I wasn't quite ready to meet the chain of my life so I thought that I would try breaking out of these first" He states.

My head whips toward him as I arch my eyebrow wondering what he meant. When the joke finally hits me I guffaw with laughter as I brace my hands on my hips. He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I laugh harder than before.

"That was a terrible joke" I say through my chuckling.

"Oh yeah, I've been wracking up jokes to tell you for the last year. You just wait because they are going to get so much worse" He says as he smiles at me.

The joke that he said earlier had lightened the mood. However his plan for the future just ruined. I have the feeling that I am going to be reminding him and his brother often that I belong to no one. "Look Jefferson, I told you that that isn't what this is. I wont ever become you ball and chain. Pun intended. You don't even know me and I don't know you" I state.

The words feel like sand as they come from my mouth. I know that he doesn't deserve them. He seems like a really sweet guy and he did just break out of chains to stop me from hurting myself. Somehow if I did hit my head on the floor I imagine that this would still feel worse. The way his facial expression changes and he looks away tells me that I hit a nerve. I take a step toward him but stop myself. Its stupid to comfort someone if you are the cause of their pain.

"I don't do relationships. So its not just you. I have my own reasons behind this. I wont ever do a relationship and I don't lead people on" I state.

He turns to look at me and the eyes of his beast are gone. His yellow ones are back as they look at me. He just stares at me for a moment then calmly walks away from me. He says nothing at all as he heads over to the only sink in the room. He turns on the water and starts to apply soap and water to his face. I don't know what I expected him to say but I wanted him to say something.

Frustrated for a reason I don't even know; I walk back to my corner and take a seat. The area seems so cold now that he is no longer here. I flick my gaze to him to see what he is doing out of boredom. Suddenly I am watch with rapt attention as the muscles of his lean back flex as he shaves. I rise from the floor heading over to him. If he found something sharp then that can be used to my advantage for when I make my escape.

I blink as I get closer. Half of his face no longer has hair on it. He actually looks better without. I look around the sink area for what he was using but see nothing. As he starts to shave again I realize that one of the nail on his hand has changes. It looks like a claw and seems so menacing. With just a swipe of it, the hair on his face is removed in a smooth fashion and more of his skin is revealed. In the areas he cuts his white skin is a bit reddened and shows how close to the grain he is getting.

He rinses his face when he is finished and our eyes meet in the mirror. With the hair gone from his face, his eyes look much brighter. There is a sparkling youth to his face that was hidden before. He looks young and quite handsome now that there isn't a mountain covering his face. My eyes get drawn to his full pink lips now that I can see them clearly. With a mouth like that being coupled with a strong jaw I would definitely say that he fits in with the beauty of the other male dragons. He just might be the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

He clears his throat and I look around the room once more. If I could blush scarlet in my dark skin I know that I would be. I shouldn't even be staring at him like I am. I hear a small groan from him and I peek at him through my peripheral vision. His entire hand is now clawed and I watch as he removes the rubber band from his hair. The color is faded and odd but it looks like a good texture. Not many men I know can fit their hair into a ponytail.

Considering the length of my own dreads, I have always found it attractive for a man to have longer hair. My body breaks into a sweat as I watch him play with the strands. He frowns at them in the mirror and I see when he brings his hand up. Wait. He's not going to cut it right? I see as his hand recoils and suddenly I just have to act.

"Wait" I say as I jump forward and grab his hand. He gasp as I touch him. I can feel the tingles along me skin too but I can hardly focus on them. His claw disappears from his hand as he holds my gaze with a look of anger.

"Never grab a dragon that has its claws out. You could have been hurt" He says quietly as he looks at me. I drop my hand immediately as I start to fidget. I feel like I was just scolded like a child. Deciding that I don't want to be berated I start to just turn from him.

"Sorry, I did it again. I'm not telling you what to do. I just want you to be careful. You have no idea what it would do to the man or the dragon if we were the reason that you got hurt. We already feel responsible for you being here" He says.

"I am here because I was helping a friend. Your brother is the reason I was brought here. I don't blame you" I state. Tingles erupt on my arm as I feel him grab me gently. His eyes shine so bright as they look at me and I am immediately entranced.

"Why did you stop me earlier?" He ask as he peers down at me curiously.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Well you were about to cut your hair" I state as if that answers everything.

"Yeah, I normally keep it shorter than this" He says as he fingers the strands once more.