6 Mission Centre ?
Before the chapter, a little note.
Please disregard the visually revolting note I've placed here and read the information underneath instead.
The story's absence of a 'plot' and other elements, such the main character's goals and ideals will be addressed in the authors' note..
Apart from that, I request that you read this chapter and leave feedback so that I may make it and future chapters better.
Happy Readings, everyone!
.
.
-------
Renji gently awoke from his sound sleep with a yawn, only to feel a stinging ache in his stomach. He grimaced as he realised how much harm his battle from yesterday had done.
"Damn, that guy really packed a punch," Renji muttered, a note of annoyance laced within his voice. In an effort to soothe the pain, he gently punched his aggravated belly, hoping to alleviate the soreness. (Ps. Am I the only one who resorts to this unconventional method of pain relief?)
Recognising that personal training alone would not be sufficient for his road to greater power, Renji chose to go out into the wider universe and gather first-hand experience.
Swish!
Renji set out for the central mission area with his newly acquired ability to soar over the skies. As he admired the convenience his new ability had brought him, the wind caressed his face and carried a sensation of relief. He landed softly outside the mission building, grateful for the short duration of his journey.
"It's bigger than I expected."
He was enthralled by the lively scene in front of him as he drew near the imposing building. Saiyan's of all ages poured into and out of the structure, their faces filled with resolve.
Each had their own reasons for leaving the planet's confines, whether they were driven by the exhilaration of battle, the need for fame, or the desire for power. Their accumulative aura was evident, creating an environment packed with expectation.
"Hell, that strange-looking tentacle lady gives me the creeps."
As he traverses the expansive hall, Renji's attention is piqued when he catches sight of an intriguing figure in the midst of the crowd—a woman with vivid pink skin and strange tentacles stood out.
Renji looks around the mission inquiry reception, seeing the assortment of people. Along with Saiyan's, members of the infamous Frieza army have also found a home within these walls. He is left feeling uneasy in the company of these mysterious forces, and an itch goes down his spine.
Renji kept telling himself to "just act normal," not wanting to stick out in the crowd.
Deciding to seek guidance from a familiar face, Renji's gaze settled upon a Saiyan woman nearby. As he patiently waits in queue, he moves closer to her in the hopes of having a more relaxed conversation despite the commotion.
"Hey there," Renji said with a warm smile, his voice laced with a mix of excitement and apprehension. "I'm here for my first mission. Could you explain the procedure to me?
The Saiyan woman turned to face him, her eyes sparkling with intrigue. She gave him a sharp look before bursting into an inviting smile.
"Your first mission, huh? Well then, what's your name?"
"Renji," he responds. "I'm the nephew of Lieutenant Mizuna."
Kalea, the Saiyan woman, smiles heartily as she introduces herself. "Name's Kalea. You mentioned you're the nephew of Lieutenant Mizuna. Impressive lineage, I must say."
Renji, caught aback by the unexpected compliment, stammers for a time before responding. "Thank you, I suppose. It's an honour to come from such a prestigious family."
Kalea's eyes flared up with amusement. "All right, kid, I'll tell you the truth. Although your lineage might earn you some respect, it won't guarantee you high-ranking missions."
"We'll need to assess your power level first. We'll measure it in the room next door before assigning you a mission."
Renji nods as he takes in Kalea's advice. "I understand. So, following the assessment, when can I expect to receive my equipment and mission details?"
Kalea's gaze softens with a hint of reassurance. "When you've finished the evaluation, come back to me, and We'll provide you with all the mission details. Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Renji grinned in appreciation. "Alright, got it. Thanks for the help. See you later, Kalea."
Renji navigates his path towards the adjacent room, where a gathering of fellow Saiyan's around his age awaits their turn in line to have their strength levels assessed.
The seasoned Saiyan warriors, the adult fighters, have no need to join the queue because they have scouters, unique devices bestowed upon members of the formidable Frieza Force.
Impatiently, Renji bides his time until his moment arrives, finally standing in front of an intriguing contraption. It possessed an odd appearance, occupying a considerable amount of space akin to that of a table and adorned with an assortment of wires and intricate focal lenses.
Flash!
A vivid emerald glow bursts from the device in a burst of illumination, followed by the audible pronouncement of a numerical figure.
"Saiyan, Renji, power level,?̸͉̥̦͖͔̑̒̿?̸̖͇̭͙͌ͬ͊̌?̡̦̬̮̽ .Stored within the database," the machine declares solemnly.
After enduring the queue with unwavering patience, Renji retraced his steps, finding himself once again in the presence of the Saiyan lady, Kalea.
"Hey there, Kalea! I'm back!" Renji exclaims, his voice filled with anticipation. "Now, could you enlighten me about the missions I can go on?" With a friendly smile, he initiates their conversation, brimming with excitement for the prospect of venturing beyond the confines of this planet for the very first time.
"Let me see the options available to a talented Saiyan like yourself," Kalea responds warmly, taking a moment to assess Renji's remarkably high power level, considering his youthful stature.
"There are several missions that are suitable for you. Let me present the options, and you can decide which one aligns with your desires."
She stops briefly, scanning through the various missions, before continuing with an amused tone, "Here are a few options: First, we have a mission to planet X3YZ, where you'll be responsible for maintaining and guarding a recently exterminated planet."
"Next up," she continues, her tone shifting to a slightly lighter note, "We have a mission to planet XH27. It involves combating creatures of a slimy and liquid nature. It's a low-difficulty assignment, though perhaps not the most exhilarating, If I may say so."
…
Kaela proceeds to list a few more options, each with its own unique flavour and challenges. Finally, she reaches the one that catches Renji's attention.
"Another option is a mission to Planet Alderaan, where you'd confront massive creatures wielding ranged power levels. It's a newly discovered planet where there have been recent conflicts with the inhabitants, although it would be more correct to call them beasts." She proposed.
Renji ponders for a while, contemplating the possibilities. After careful consideration, he made his decision. "Let's proceed with the Planet Alderaan mission," he confidently asserts. 'The others seem either mundane or overly perilous for my current state.'
"Alright, kid, make your way upstairs to retrieve your equipment. They will be within locker D11. As for the general mission details, you'll find them explained on the screens up there. Your first day on mission is when everything will be laid out for you in depth."
"You can use your scouter to designate future missions once you've completed them and select new ones. Don't be hesitant to return here if you run into any issues while on your mission or have other worries like payment," Kaela says, giving a sense of reassurance.
STEP..STEP...STEP
With the echoes of those instructions reverberating in his ears, he ascends the stairs, embarking on a journey towards the expansive packing and storage room. The room was bathed in a soft glow emanating from futuristic touchscreens and lockers that housed a myriad of equipment and personal belongings.
Renji wandered through the locker section, curiosity guiding his steps, eventually discovering the designated locker that awaited his arrival.
Within the confines of that locker are essentials tailored to his requirements: a battle scouter, its sleek design primed to assist him in the impending battles; battle gear precisely created to embrace his form with maximum precision, ensuring both protection and agility.
"They look the same as they did in the Broly film." He thought, staring down at the modest sum of currency represented by silver sticks that brought back memories,
(If you need a visual reference, please refer to these photos.)
With anticipation racing through his veins, he proceeds towards the neighbouring screens, their luminescent interfaces calling him closer.
He eagerly typed his information, the rhythmic tapping of fingers filling the air with a distinct sense of accomplishment as the system swiftly recognised his identification.
"Identification complete," the screen announces, its digital voice resonating with the nearby area. "Here are the details associated with your mission."
Renji learns that he will be accompanied on this mission by an experienced Saiyan woman and an additional Saiyan child.
Their quest necessitates them travelling beyond the boundaries of their home planet, whisking them across the vast expanse of space to a star system eight light years away. Their target destination is a recently conquered territory inside the vast interstellar sovereignty of Lord Frieza.
The odyssey, one that's rife with possibilities, is estimated to span approximately two months, factoring into account the time required for both the journey to and from the designated planet.
With the mission's commencement only three days away, Renji avidly interacted with the screen, his fingertips dancing across its surface. His thoughts sifted over every morsel of information, delving deeper into the complexities of the assignment, all the while preparing himself for the impending journey.
"Please accept our apologies for the unforeseen delay in providing you with the necessary information," the screen conveys, a hint of contrition lacing its digital voice.
"Usually, mission details would be seamlessly transmitted to your scouter. However, as this is your maiden voyage, we strongly advise activating your scouter right away to make sure that crucial updates and essential information reach you without fail."
***
Departing from the building, Renji sets off on the familiar path that leads him to his humble abode.
Upon reaching his destination, he carefully retrieved the battle scouter from its secure storage, placing it on his head with a sense of anticipation.
"Scheisse's. How could something so small be so heavy? " Renji asks with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. He was aware of the scouter's discomfort but suppressed that thought, knowing the significant role it would play in his upcoming adventures.
With the scouter now adorning his brow, a small display flickers to life, illuminating his face.
A robotic voice resonates within his ears, affirming his identity. "Identity confirmed: Renji, power level, ?̸͉̥̦͖͔̑̒̿?̸̖͇̭͙͌ͬ͊̌?̡̦̬̮̽ ."
As the words hung in the air, the scouter initiated its initial programme, triggering a series of events. Data and symbols start to cascade across the display screen as it starts its vivacious dance.
"Starting the initial Download ," the synthetic voice declares in an authoritative yet robotic tone.
The scouter's interface bursts to life, signalling the start of the initial download of information and updates, and Renji examines it closely. The artificial voice goes on to provide an accurate calculation of the necessary time.
"The initial download of information and updates will take approximately 37 hours and 28 minutes," the voice states, conveying the magnitude of the transfer process.
"Are you serious? Almost two whole days of waiting. Well, no point in sulking." Renji grumbles, accepting the reality of the situation: "I'll use the time to train as I usually do.
---------
Author's Note:
Soooo a review was left on this story, and it has really upset me. I have summed up what was said in the following points:
1) The protagonist's past serves no purpose,
2) His emotions are unnecessary, and his personality is flat.
3) A lot of useless details instead of his thoughts and plans
4) In five years, he didn't do anything; he has no abilities.
5) The writing is bad; instead of an actual plot, it's just descriptions with no plan or reason.
Here's my response to the question:
You mentioned that the MC's past serves no purpose, but how can you make that claim when the story has just started and we don't know what the future chapters will be about?
Humans and sentient beings are meant to experience emotions like joy, happiness, sadness, anger, ecstasy, and love. Even a cold-blooded MC can experience emotions like anger and hatred. Can you really call yourself a human, or, in this instance, a Saiyan, if you feel no emotions?
Regarding the lack of personality, have you actually read the story, or are you simply expecting a clichéd "young master" or cold-blooded character?
The character's thoughts and plans have been stated, though mainly through his emotions and thoughts. Can't you see him contemplating the impending destruction of planet Vegeta and the subtle clues I've intentionally woven into the story? Or would you prefer me to explicitly spell out every single thought for you?
Saiyan's are raised in incubation pods until they are ready to fight, as I have stated in the first few chapters. So, it's not surprising that the MC does not gain abilities and techniques quickly since he has been thrust into a new world without any special gifts or systems. As of this Chapter, the YOUNG MC is still learning and growing; he's not some sort of Saiyan Jesus ready to fight Frieza or Beerus.
As for the plot, it's only been five chapters, and the story is still laying its foundation. It's unfair to judge a story without giving it a chance to develop.
Sorry for the lengthy response, but it genuinely irritates me to see a remark that is so negative and incorrect. Actually, it doesn't inform me how to improve this story or my writing.
Anyway, Sorry for the rant. I hope you can understand where my thoughts and emotions are coming from.
Ps. Shower me with stones, as chapters will be flying off the shelf into your palms for you to feast upon soon.
Ashlin_17
