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Don't Mind Tyler, He's Just Doing His Business!

You're looking for the synopsis? The title literally gives it away! Not enough eh? Alright, fine. Tyler is a 14 yr old kid whose life went bonkers when he stole a very valuable notebook at his school. What lies in the notebook is beyond what he could ever imagine. Not only that, Tyler also has to deal with the eccentric and odd individuals he meet and interact with on a regular basis. With everyone minding him to such lengths, will Tyler be able to do his damn business? *New chapters every 10th and 25th of the month

_N0MAD_ · Sci-fi
Not enough ratings
4 Chs

Becoming A Hateful Person Just Because Of Your Hateful Backstory Doesn't Excuse Your Crappy Behavior You Know?

The next morning passed by and the questions are still unanswered. Despite the threat of the van guys, Tyler opted to go to school. As he was packing his things, he stared at the notebook that almost cost his life.

"You stay here lil bro. I'm gonna open and read you later after school."

Tyler was on his way to school when he spotted something in the corner of his eyes.

"Shit! It's the Van Guys! Gotta hide."

He ran and hid at the nearest and thinnest pole. It is his attempt to hide against the van guys although it's practically useless because you could still see him. Well in his defense, it actually worked! The van guys drove away and weren't able to notice Tyler at all. Tyler felt like celebrating yet something is bothering him.

"Is it just me or it's getting a bit shitty right here. Wait a minute... I could smell it. Could it be?"

Tyler looked down and realized he's wearing the same shoes he wore yesterday. Those shoes stepped on a crap ton of crap because of the crappy exit. He wasn't able to clean it nor change it.

"This is bad. This is bad. This is bad."

Tyler rubbed the shit off to the nearest wall from where he was standing. He did it until no shit was left.

"Mama always said when you stepped on a shit, rub it off to the nearest building you could find. Well... I'm not sure if she's the one who said that or it could be Uncle Thurd but whatever, it's hella useful."

Suddenly, a group of old looking shady men circled around Tyler. Tyler realized this and began trembling in fear.

"Mommy?"

Next thing he knows, he is brought to this Temple-like building structure which was inside of the walls. He was brought to this huge ass guest room where other shady men were sitting in two lines, facing each other. For the second time in the story, Tyler recognized a familiar face.

"Ms. First Lady, what are you doing here?" Tyler asked.

Ms. First Lady is the wife of Mr. President in Tyler's universe. For some reason, she's being held hostage along with Tyler now.

"It's a long story but these guys were basically beefing against my husband for some reason. I don't know much shit about the political conflict. I was just shopping the other week and next thing I know, I'm locked up in here." Ms. First Lady explained.

Tyler was eating a banana while she was explaining her situation. She then became curious about Tyler.

"Where did the banana come from? Anyways, what about you kid? Why did they kidnap you?"

"I shitted on their walls." Tyler quickly answered.

Ms. First Lady gave a deadpan reaction to the answer. Realizing how poorly his answer was constructed, Tyler explained it further… kinda?

"I meant... I... used the sole... of my shoes to... rub it in their walls… I hope I cleared the misunderstanding..." Tyler explained but each stops, his voice becomes lower and lower.

"Those scumbags, my husband will make sure they'll pay for what they are doing." Ms. First Lady proclaimed.

"I believe that won't be the case Ma'am." A guy suddenly interrupted their conversation. He is wearing a durag cap, just like everyone else in the room. His was special though because it is customized.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Tyler asked.

"I am the Chief of Staff of this organization. You can call me… Chief." Chief introduced himself.

"What is up with characters in this chapter referring to themselves in their titles? Is the author of this story too lazy to come up with names?" Tyler thought to himself.

"Mr. CEO will likely blow up the whole country first before you get through to him." Chief explained.

"Who is she referring to Ma'am?" Tyler asked.

"The overall head of this circle jerk of an organization." Ms. First Lady answered.

"Hey I heard that!" Chief shouted.

Suddenly, all of the sitting men stood up. Someone was coming through the doors as the footsteps could be heard. Tyler was nervous yet was looking forward to seeing who's the big shot guy.

"Anyways chimpanzees, allow me to introduce you to our Boss, Mr. CEO." Chief said.

"CEO of what?" Tyler asked.

"CEO of Misogyny, Transphobia and Racism." Chief answered.

"And his name?" Tyler asked.

"Mr. CEO." Chief answered.

"Hold up! Damn you author, you can't keep getting away with this! Also, are we really introducing a character like him at this age? This series is about to get speedrun canceled!" Tyler thought to himself.

Emerging from the doors was a tower of a figure. A ginormous guy wearing business attire and holding a briefcase. He then began speaking.

"I'm Mr. CEO and my only wish is to destroy this rotten world."

His presence commanded the entire room. He looked towards to Ms. First Lady.

"My apologies Ma'am for getting you dragged into this. Unfortunately, your husband has committed some bad things. You'll act as a bait to lure him. I hope you understand." Mr. CEO explained.

"Like I give a damn about your reasoning." an annoyed Ms. First Lady replied.

"You know, for someone who proclaims to be the CEO of Misogyny, he talks politely towards to Ms. First Lady" Tyler thought to himself.

Mr. CEO switched his look towards Tyler. In contrast to the apologetic demeanor earlier, he then flipped entirely to an aura of someone holding a grudge.

"As for you kid, I heard you shitted on our walls, that's why you're being kept in." Mr. CEO said.

"Guess I could never beat the shitting allegations..." Tyler said.

"That is a serious offense and it's something we cannot overlook." Mr. CEO explained.

"I've done worse hehe."

Mr. CEO then removed his durag that he's been wearing like a crown. His men followed his act soon.

"We'll proceed as planned." Mr. CEO instructed Chief.

In the midst of this, Tyler saw something that made him curious. The curiosity was so strong that he raised his hand.

"Can I ask you a question Mr. CEO?" Tyler asked.

"Hey! You have no right to speak primate-" Chief angrily said. Before he could finish what he said, Mr. CEO calmed him down.

"Go ahead." Mr. CEO said.

"What is that thing on your forehead?" Tyler asked.

"I'm glad you asked, kid. This is called our "Stronghold". It represents our collective courage. Our unyielding strength to face the dangers of the unknown especially what comes tomorrow. This is the overall element that defines our existence, without it we would cease to exist as lifeless forms of beings with no general direction in our lives." Mr. CEO explained.

"But why does it look like a penis?" Tyler asked again.

"Well alternatively... this also acts as our private organ kid..." Mr. CEO explained again.

"So it's a penis?" Tyler asked again and again.

"Yes..?" Mr. CEO answered in a tone, not knowing where this is heading towards.

"HA HA penis" Tyler said out loud. He then began hysterically laughing for two minutes and it was hella contagious. Other members began laughing as well but stopped when they saw Mr. CEO's pissed off face.

"Goddammit, how old is this kid?" Mr. CEO asked Chief.

"We don't know sir, we didn't carbon date him sir." Chief explained.

"Rude little brat." Mr. CEO said in his breath.

He then glances towards Tyler, who then realizes how he might have triggered a very dangerous man.

"Are you finished?" Mr. CEO asked.

"Yeah... man, that was funny. Oh shit right, I forgot I'm in danger." Tyler said.

"As far as monkey business goes, we are very serious with our plan to blow up the country. So the next time someone makes fun of our sacred Stronghold, I'm doing this blowing shit right now, understood?" Mr. CEO stated.

"Great job there kid." Ms. First Lady mocked Tyler.

"It was funny though, right?" Tyler excused.

"To be fair, yeah it is." even Ms. First Lady herself agreed with it.

Chief then pulled over to grab a projector and a screen. He then placed it in the center. Another member of the organization was setting up the laptop to be used. Meanwhile, Mr. CEO stepped beside the podium and was reading some small notes from his pocket.

"Hey hey, what are you doing?" a curious Tyler asked.

"Beats me. At this point, I'm not even surprised whatever the hell will happen." Ms. First Lady said in a pessimistic tone.

Now that Chief was able to set things perfectly, he grabbed a mic and began testing it and speaking on it.

"Testing… testing… ok it's all good. And now, may I present to you, Mr. CEO."

"Thank you. My name is Mr. CEO and I'm here standing in front of you to do a small PowerPoint presentation in my villain backstory."

"What the fu-" Tyler exclaimed but wasn't able to finish it.

"Quiet please. Any form of reactions or questions will be saved for later. It is encouraged to finish the presentation first." Chief announced.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I'm here to present my backstory on why I became a villain. As you may have known, I have the title of CEO of Misogyny, Transphobia and Racism. That is partly because of my upbringing. Allow me to explain it further in detail. "

Accompanying Mr. CEO's explanation per subject are the allotted slides of the presentation. It was divided into three parts. Here it goes.

"As you may realize by now, we are not from here. We came from a very distant place, figuring perhaps we'll start a new life in this new land. Unfortunately… that wasn't the case. Just because of the fact that we looked different from you guys (On our foreheads we have a dic- I mean Stronghold), we were severely judged. We were treated differently and received discrimination. For that reason, I decided to become the CEO of Racism."

"That wasn't always the case. For once, I met someone who loved me despite the fact that I looked different. Her name was Cardigan Backyardigan. I initially thought she's the one. I thought we'd last forever. I thought she'll be the mother of my child. The last sentence was true because she got pregnant. I was so happy that finally, I'll be a father. Until one day… I found out the shocking truth. I wasn't the father. I mean looking back, it made sense because we never did it anyways. She kept denying my intent to perform **** and ***** so it was practically impossible. I found out that Cardi actually has a boyfriend and I was just her sugar daddy. Dammit, it still hurts. I got played dawg. She even took my bank account card. She's a ****. For that reason, I became the CEO of Misogyny."

"As for the CEO of Transphobia, honestly I don't have any problem with them. They just looked funny and weird but they're cool. I just needed to fill in the quota. Could be interchangeable if you have any other suggestions."

"That's all, thank you!" Mr. CEO concluded his presentation. A warm standing ovation and crying audience was the reception to his speech. Tyler was just eating some banana chips throughout the presentation and wasn't attentive to some parts so he asked a question.

"Wait! So you're saying that every title you have, you personally experienced all of these things yet you chose to become one yourself?"

"Well except for Transphobia which is just there for the quota, exactly!" Mr. CEO quickly answered.

"That's completely rational." Tyler's sarcastic remark.

"Man's gotta stay true to himself." Mr. CEO said.

Suddenly, a mysterious voice interrupted the entire room as the chapter ends.

"That's a very moving story you got there buddy but I have to ask, when is the part it becomes my problem?"