Chapter 13

"You're back!", Atlantis says and appears in front of me and hugs me.

When he releases me I continue walking and wave my hand at Ella, who is sitting in her office.

It's still weird for me to say it's the office of someone else, but I just couldn't say it was mine because it isn't. I haven't been here for over a thousand years.

"Hey! Are you ignoring me again?!"

"No", I say through gritted teeth, "I just don't want the people to think I'm crazy and talking to myself."

"Is Atlantis talking to you again?", Jack asks from behind me.

"Yes. And I feel stalked. But in some way it's nice. Always someone there who you can talk to."

"Why don't talk to yourself. Like that you have always someone who agrees to you."

"Not possible. I'm kind of two persons in one. First is Dr. Weir. She doesn't allow anyone to see through the façade of her. Always adequate. None knows what she thinks. And then there's Elizabeth. She has emotions. She feels. Is sad, happy, proud. Sometimes she shines through, but most of the time the mask of Dr. Weir is in place."

I stop when I don't hear his steps anymore. I turn around and see that he's watching me.

"Seems the good doctor is gone lately", Jack says smirking.

I laugh a little. I've realised that change too. Since it wasn't necessary to play invinceble anymore, I'm not the leader anymore and I don't have any responsibilities I'm able to show feelings.

"You might be right at that. Maybe I needed to die to become a human."

"But death isn't that nice", he points out.

"Youre right at that. Ascending is better, but I decided to live", I sigh, "Even when that means giving up the chance to ever see my friends again."

Jack raises an eyebrow and I ad:"I mean as ascended beings. When I was about to ascend, I could have sweard I've heard them. Well...heard is a huge word. I felt the presence of my mother, my father, Jack, Chuck, Samantha and even the one of Walter."

"You do know I never believed in a life after death? Ascension. Didn't exist for me. God. Was nonsense from the beginning. Ancestors. Long dead", he scrugges,"Didn't  care 'bout that."

"But, Jack... Don't you believe that everything has a sense? That all of us have a destiny?"

"No... I lost the faith in that long time ago..."

"I have to tell you something...Come", I say, leading him upstairs, towards the balcony.

In front of the balcony Jack stops.

"What?", I ask confused.

"Well...It's an unspoken role, but the balcony always belonged to the leader and his or her second in command. Only sonetimes that one gets broken."

I raise an eyebrow and realise that maybe Jihn and I had invented this rule. It has become our balcony along the first months and we used it as a private meetingroom and we talked there late at night.

At that thought I have to smile. To be honest, I really miss that. Watching stars with John and debating wheter the few stars looked like Cassiopeia or not.

"Come, I think I have the permission..."

We stepped onto the balcony only to see Liam and Ella kissing.

"Oh my-"

Jack pulls me backwards.

"That I never did there!", I say pointing at the door after it had losed.

"Yeah, and I loosed my bet!"

"What are you talking about?", I ask, now entirely confused.

"We all knew they where in love, but we bet how long it would last thet any of us would walk into them when they are doing that", Jack explained.

"Who did you bet with?", I aks curious.

"The rest of the council except William. Harry bet with us too and Chuck."

"What is the bet about?"

"The one who loosers have to sing anything the winner says, when he says it."

"You mean the words?"

"No, I mean when I'd say: 'Sing Abenteuerland from Pur!' Then you sing the song."

"Ok", I say, not wondering why he did take this song,"Then you will have to sing, Jack."

Jack mumbles something before he said:"We can go to another balcony and talk there..."

Once on the balcony, I told Jack the story how I came to believe in a life after death...

The president had sent me to the ancient outpost in Antarctica. I can't believe I've gotten that chance. The chance to live at a place of that beauty.

The things I already learned are amazing. I learned a whole new language and learned about new techniques.

But the best is still being outside at night. The air is fresh and there is no influence from smog. Nor is here any light and all you can see is the endless firmament full of stars.

A blinking banner of stars. The coolness of the air cleares my lungs and I feel healthier then I had ever before.

Suddenly some of the stars loosened from the sky and the sailed down to me. In a bright, blinding light  they still in front of me.

I cover my eyes as the tantaceled being of light slips into a human shape.

It's a woman with long, brown hair and brown eyes. Her clothes are white. As white as the light around  her.

"Elizabeth Weir", she said in a strong voice.

I take down my hands and stare at the figure.

"You came to that place because you want to discover?", she didn't wait for an answer,"You want to discover the past to gain more knowledge. But you should first discover yourself. You all should know what potential you all have."

The womans voice got a tone of thunder.

"Some of you already discovered what it means to have a soul!"

"What do you want to tell me? To stop seeing what past offers us?! Whoever- Whatever you are, you wont be able to convince us from stoping to won't to discover that! It's in our genes!"

"I could show you what you throw away!"

And with that the woman grabs my arm and I open myself to a brith light. Suddenly I know...everything!

But then I am myself again. Everything's  away. The moment of full clearness is away.

One fakt stayed.

"You're dead, aren't you?", I ask from my kneeling position on the ground where I've  tried to catch my breath.

"Yes. And I've gained all the knowledge of the world through meditating and finding out about myself."

"I see your point, but I think we're not ready yet. At least some of us. To gain this knowledge we are still too much into fighting ourselfes and each other. It would be too soon."

"Then may you continue discovering. Even when you are ready."

And with that she disappeares and leaves me behind without any memories...

"I guess I got access to that memories after I descended, but that doesn't matter because she told me something very important. You have to get to know yourself to reach truly knowledge. "

"And to ascend?", Jack asks.

I nod and Jack looks down.

"Sometimes people can't just switch fron not believing into something into believing, you know?"

There is a sadness in his eyes, I can't explain myself.

Jack leaves the balcony and I walk over to the rail.

"Not quite satisfying, was it?", Atlantis asks, joining me at the rail.

"Not really, no...", I say, "But you can't force people into believing things."

"You can, but that's not nice nor is it ethically correct", Atlantis admits.

I nod.

"You know what...I know nothing about you. Except that you're a city and this, but I know nothing about you in person. Do you have feelings? Is there something you wish to come true?"

Atlantis laughes.

"You are the first one who actually is interrested in that", he says, "Honestly I do. I feel when someone blows up something inside me, or when someone crashes with jumpers into my towers, but I also am sad when someone dies who had lived long with me..."

Atlantisblooks at me and I know that he means me. And not only me. Also the other people that died under my command and the ones that lived long after I died.

"And I wish to find my siblings again. The ancients, as you call my builders, build two other cities like me and the on the replicators build is not an enemy for me. She was used against us but she wasn't mean!"

"She? Was Asuras a female city", I ask, remembering the name of the city I got tortured in. The city I died in.

"Yes she was", Atlantis says smiling," I had her and my brother Troja, but I lost them at some time. I know that the people say Asuras had been destroyed, but I know she's still alive!"

I wouldn't have thought that his wishes would be so complicated, but I might be able to fullfill them.

At least I am willing to. Atlantis had been a home for me, even when it had only been for such a short time.

"I want to help you with that!", I promise Atlantis.

Atlantis smiles somewhat surprised, but I see something else. There is something he isn't telling me.