Chapter 12
What was Scarlett talking about? " What do you mean, Scarlett?" Zander asked as he broke the embrace and looked at her face as his large hands held it between them. She refused to look at him in the eye and shook her head. Tears spilled out from her eyes and her lips trembled. " Tell me, Letta!" Now he was getting scared. Why was she refusing to look at him, tell him the truth? She got startled when his voice raised, the first time she had witnessed that.
" I'm sorry, Letta, I just feel like I'm missing out a huge chunk of you even though I know even the smallest thing about you." " You are..." She said as her tears started drying, her face was neutral, void of any sort of emotions. " I want to know, sweetheart. Tell me. Let me help you, I'll never let go of you no matter what." Her eyes snapped up to his. She didn't know how to feel as those words left his mouth. Would he see her the same way he did?
" I promise that I won't judge you. I know you hate it when people judge you. But I won't, we are far away from that point, Letta. Please trust me." She knew that she had to share this with somebody, she was glad she found him.
" About three and a half months ago, before I even met you or started college, I met with an accident, at least that's what the nurse told me. She told me that I had fainted due to the shock." She stopped and looked at Zander. He looked at her and made her sit on the bed and sat beside her, took her hands in his and gave her a small smile, indicating that he was listening to her.
" I couldn't remember my accident at all. I didn't mention this to anyone initially thinking that it was just confusion. My parents came inside, but I didn't recognize them, I only knew that they were my parents because the nurse mentioned that my parents were here to see me. So I knew that they were my parents. I didn't even know my name, the nurse called me by my name and that's how I came to know that that was my name."
She was looking at Zander's face all along and his face was serious. His hands squeezed hers and it was comforting. " Go on, Letta. I know you have a lot to tell. I'm listening, promise." He shut his eyes and swallowed the hurt and remorse that he started feeling for her. She looked at their interlocked hands and smiled a little, continuing from where she left.
" As soon as my parents left the room for something, I told the nurse about not remembering anything about my accident or who my parents were. She told me that the shock had given me a temporary memory loss which would get better. I was relieved and went home with my parents, a place I didn't remember at all." She took a deep breath and Zander's right arm went around her and she rested her head on his shoulder as his head rested on top of hers.
" After I entered my room, I saw one of the drawers open in my bedside table. So I opened it and saw documents, my documents. I started reading them and learned who I was, actually I learned about my educational background. Pictures gave me more insight into my family. I saw a photograph of my siblings and their name was written behind it, it was a postcard that they made for my birthday. When I started feeling uncomfortable, I fell asleep."
" I woke up and found the faces that I saw in the picture, I hadn't realized that my memory wasn't back. I started living a new life, leaving behind every single thing. I don't remember 20 years of my life. I don't remember who I was and if I had friends or not, if I was ever in a relationship and if I was a good person, nothing! I don't know myself, Zander... Whenever anyone brought up the word childhood, I used to think that my memories would come back soon and I can live and laugh normally, without faking it. Today, it just became too much for me to handle. Something about your friend made me feel this way. Every night I go to sleep, bearing the nurses words in mind. But every morning, it was the same, nothing changed."
Scarlett's lonely sobs filled the room, breaking the silence. She suddenly broke the position she was in to look at her friend. She was shocked to see that tears had gathered themselves in his eyes as well. " I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, Letta. I wish I had known earlier. Why do you say that you might not have been a good person? Your family loves you so much! You sure must have been a very good person, just like you are now." Scarlett was amazed at the way he used his words. They were so soul-touching.
" I'm glad that you shared this with me. I promise to get you out of this self-regret. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone something like this... Thank you... Thank you for trusting me and telling me all this." Scarlett was touched, he was kind beyond words.
" I'm glad to have shared this with you, Zander. I don't think that you can fix this though. How can you? At least, I get to live happily. I'm content with this life, let it be." She patted his shoulder and got up. He held her wrist and made her look at him while he was still seated. " That's unfair. Everyone needs to have an insight into their childhood, of who they are. You of all people deserve it, Letta. I want to help you gain your memories, I don't want you suffering from the thought of not being able to live a normal life. You cannot hide this from the world forever... Someone will find out. Please, Letta."
Her eyes took in the sight of Zander begging her. He was only a friend... Why did he want to do so much for her? Why did she share this only with him? Why not the girls?
" Alright. What are you going to do? Excavate my brain? " She joked and he let out a small laugh. " No, take you to one of my friend who happens to be a neurologist, our luck huh?" He told her and she just gaped at him. " Your friend Ryan was a psychologist, now this person is a neurologist, then who all do you know? What are you, dude?" She asked and they laughed together. " I'm just a poor archaeologist with some awesome friends who are going to help my best friend ever, get through this bad phase of her life." He said and winked at her.
Scarlett sat next to him again and gave him a sideways hug. So this was how friendship worked? Her mind was happy with the thought of getting back her memories, but she still had a bad feeling about it. Was there any memory that was only worth forgetting?