Chapter 48 -> Part 48

I wasn't fully aware of my surroundings for a long time after that. My thoughts had shut down rather than try and process the facts I had been unexpectedly presented with. I was a pessimistic idealist, if that made sense. I knew that most, if not all, the ninja I worked with would commit heinous acts without remorse. I knew Konoha's enemies were capable of worse. My morality clashed horribly with the shinobi philosophy and I was fully aware of that fact. I'd been out on the front lines during what was most definitely the worst part of the war. I'd seen the effects of it in all their morbid glory, but I had never seen any of it firsthand.

I already had a difficult day. Nagato had almost died attempting a jutsu I put him up to. Sakumo had forced Kyo and several others to train while injured, hell, he had deliberately harmed them as motivation. Physically, I was tired. My chakra was at ten percent of its full capacity. I was emotionally exhausted from having to put up a tough front to the other ANBU kids, and meeting with the Hokage had only compounded that exhaustion.

I had followed Kagami thinking I would only be there in case a jutsu attempt or spar got out of hand, thinking I could sit down and watch something as a thinly veiled attempt from the Hokage to talk to Nagato without me influencing the conversation. I was in no way prepared for, or able to cope with, what came instead.

I wasn't even sure my voice still worked. I felt like if I opened my mouth, the taste of bile would become more than just a bad taste. Somehow, I found myself laying on my bunk, my face a few inches away from the wall.

"Nii-san?" Nagato asked when he returned.

"Let him be, Nagato-chan," Roach advised. "Everyone's first real day of training is meant to shock them, and everyone deals with it differently. If he's still like that in the morning, you can start to worry."

"But I'm not—"

"You're not technically in ANBU yet. When I joined, I was a month or two older than you and afterwards, they upped the requirements, which you haven't quite met yet."

"Why does it have to be a shock?"

"You ask too many questions. Normally, the first day just stretches the recruit to their breaking point, but it's extremely hard to do to a Jinchuuriki, and not entirely safe, so they pushed him a different way. I don't know what it was, just that his reaction surprised everyone."

"But why?"

"ANBU isn't nice, the sooner you learn that, the better. Your beloved 'nii-san' doesn't fit in this place, he's too damn—well, I'm not entirely sure how to describe it. For the time being, things will be extremely unpleasant for him whenever you're not around. It's probably too much to ask for him to become like the rest of us, but until he's able to watch us at our worst without his entire being rebelling against it, he's going to be in hell."

"But why? Why do they want to make Nii-san like that?"

"Because here, his gentleness doesn't enamor the people around him like it does at your home. Here, restraint is a weakness, a weakness that will get him accidentally killed by one of our own in training or out in the field if it continues for long enough. Look, kid, you got what it takes to stay here. You might even become a full agent before him, if he ever does, as soon as you realize that Kichiro isn't perfect and you're a lot better than you think. I'm betting that your nii-san is going to wash out as soon as he's no longer needed as a medic."

"Nii-san isn't weak!" Nagato exploded.

"In time, he probably will become the best doctor in the village. Because of his intelligence and the way he treats you, he'll make a brilliant teacher. He has to be much stronger than he seems if he's able to harness the Kyuubi like he did today in your defense. In raw skill, he's good for his age and level of experience. If it wasn't for the fact that he is the most pathetic shinobi I've had the misfortune of meeting, I think he could be stronger than me without trying. He had several opportunities to take down Kyo in his first match, but he blatantly ignored them. He had to be ordered to attack. I can't trust someone to watch my back when they're unwilling to properly defend themselves, no one else can afford it, and you shouldn't tolerate it either."

"You're wrong! You're wrong and Nii-san will prove it to you!"

Roach was mature enough not to argue the point as Nagato crawled into the bed beside me.

"Nii-san? Are you awake?" Nagato asked as Roach turned out all the lights except the one in the bathroom and climbed into the top bunk.

I didn't answer. I didn't sleep. Several hours later, after Nagato had fallen asleep curled at my back, I rolled over and hugged him tightly. It wasn't fair to Nagato to be used as some kind of emotional crutch, but he was solid, warm, he was the reason I wasn't marching to Kagami's office and quitting, damn the consequences. I didn't sleep that night; I just lay there staring at the bathroom light. The next day, training went similarly to the day before, except a different man was in charge. Nagato and I faced several pairs of opponents. We lost every time, and when elemental training began, I sat beside Nagato while his sensei taught him the basics of water since the primary teacher for the day couldn't help me. I somewhat listened, pulling water from the ground between my feet and making a thin, foot-tall pillar to my hand. I was pulled out of training three times to heal agents who had very obviously been tortured.

It seemed like a heavy blanket had fallen over everything. I barely managed to eat a few bites at lunch and I had completely skipped breakfast, but I wasn't hungry. The idea of dinner didn't even cross my mind. I had started the day with about half my usual reserves and ended it on the brink of chakra exhaustion. I didn't say a word all day, only nodding or shaking my head when I was addressed. Nagato tried to engage me in a conversation several times, but I just listened indifferently, unable to muster the energy to respond.

I didn't sleep that night either.

In the morning, I left before Nagato woke and went to Kagami's office, firmly dismissing the dark flickers of cloth out of the corner of my eyes as nothing more than my imagination. He handed over the stack of files for the people I would be seeing that day on a metal cart. He looked like he wanted to say something, but I left before he could. I had been working in the hospital long enough that I could deal with patients without thinking about it. No one else seemed to be especially interested in talking, so I only said the bare minimum, my voice hoarse. It was almost midnight before I finished the twelve people assigned for the day. Seven times, I was interrupted to heal agents who had endured torture during whatever sick training was happening.

I had less than half my reserves when I started the day and didn't end up any better off than the day before. The paranoia was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore, and I barely managed to keep it all compressed in a tight knot in my throat. It felt like it could explode into an earth-rattling scream at any second, but I remained determined to ignore it. When I arrived at Kagami's office to return the files Sakumo was in there and the door hadn't quite latched.

"Why can't you get it through your thick head that Kichiro is never going to live up to your ideal of a perfect shinobi? This psychological torment is only going to create more problems for the boy, it won't solve anything!"

"You know as well as I do what the council decided."

"The council is a bunch of small-minded fools, of course they're going to try and get back at the boy for calling them out on it."

"Those are my former teammates you're insulting."

"Do you even have a reason for what you're doing?" There was a moment of silence before Sakumo continued coldly. "You don't do you? Kichiro almost released the Kyuubi once already, and you know damn well he would have succeeded, right under the Hokage's nose."

"He'll be too busy trying to figure out how to deal with it to ask why or fight back."

"If you believe that, you're grossly underestimating him."

"He's only eleven."

"Four years ago, I thought, 'he's only seven, he'll be easy to manipulate' but he shook off manipulations that had ensnared Jōnin. People ten times his age fell prey to many of the things I tried on him and he shook it off like it was nothing. Most of the time, I wasn't even sure he noticed! Hell, you watched half of it and admitted you weren't entirely sure how he did it. He was seven at the time, and didn't have a demon sealed inside of him. Now, we are absolutely certain the boy is in contact with and occasionally makes use of assistance from the beast, but no one knows to what extent, yet you're treating him worse than an animal!"

"You're overreacting, Sakumo. He may be intelligent and talented, but he's nowhere near the level you're implying."

Sakumo snorted. "Overreacting? The boy made a seal to contain the Hachibi when he was eight years old and destruction is much, much easier than creation. He used Mito-sama's writings to help, and he is one of the few that has access to her work. He has constant access to the seal. If this keeps up, it's only a matter of time before he turns on us—threatening his family will only work for so long."

"He's not—"

"Believe me, the boy doesn't make idle threats. You can't argue the fact that I know him best. If you keep this up, he willsnap, it's only a matter of time. Tell me, are you willing to risk your daughter in his rampage? The Hokage gained another son last night, are you sure he's willing to risk that child? I'm sure as hell not willing to risk Kakashi. Do you want to be the one to tell Jiraiya-san he's going to be the one to give his life to seal the Kyuubi into his student right after the girl loses her brother? That kind of tragedy does not make a stable Jinchuuriki, and she'll be just as likely to turn on us as he is right now, perhaps even more so. Kichiro is the most level-headed Uzumaki you've ever met, you said it yourself. Also, the girl is smarter than she lets on, much smarter. Even if she couldn't prove it by herself, she figured out Orochimaru was behind the disappearance of her clan mate, which occurred nearly two years before, through a visitor's log and hearsay. Do you really think she won't realize who drove her brother insane?"

"You're walking on thin ice."

"Thin ice, my ass. You know I'm right, so don't even try it."

"It looks like Kichiro has rubbed off on you more than anyone thought."

"If this is the kind of shit he's always fighting, I'm not sure it's a bad thing!"

A long silence followed that.

"We're monitoring the situation closely. If it gets out of hand, you can say I told you so, and I will let you have free reign—"

"At that point, the damage would already be done! I won't be getting my student back; I'll be getting a body!"

"Calm down, Sakumo, you're not a child anymore." Kagami retorted firmly. "We're trying to do what's best for the boy—"

"Don't lie to me, Sensei. The boy has undermined, challenged, and embarrassed you, the council, and the Hokage. Making him suffer is not what's best for him, it's your revenge, the only revenge you can take because of his position and the fact he had the common courtesy to act behind closed doors."

"What do you propose I do instead?"

"Take him out of the ANBU program!"

"That is impossible. You've shown yourself to be unable to keep your tongue in check. From now on, my decision is final and this conversation is over. If you cannot control yourself, I advise you to not return to Headquarters until you can."

Sakumo didn't even see me as he stormed past. I waited until he had vanished around the corner before pushing the cart through the door. I barely took two steps in before turning my back and leaving without even acknowledging Kagami. I didn't even look up from the floor. I didn't have the energy or the desire to think of anything to say.

"Kichiro!" Kagami called after me, but I ignored him, shuffling down the hall. I decided it was shock. I had been in shock for the past two days. I felt like I should be able to break myself out of it, but I had no idea how. It drained my energy, made my vision blurry, and my chakra more difficult to control.

At some point, I had taken a wrong turn and found myself somewhere I didn't recognize. I tried to retrace my steps, but only found myself even more lost. My eyes burned.

Half-blinded, I continued to wander around, hoping to find something familiar, not that I could see much of anything with tears blurring my vision and only the occasional light to break up long swathes of darkness.

My feet ached and the effects of going without sleep for the third night in a row were beginning to set in.

When I couldn't walk any longer, I sat down with my back to the wall, rubbing my eyes.

(-_-)

I wasn't entirely sure how long I sat there. My butt went numb, eventually followed by my knees aching from being pulled so tightly to my chest before they went numb as well. I was cold, the stone walls and floor sapped any heat they could find, it certainly wasn't summertime.

"We found him!" A woman announced loudly. A cold, wet dog nose nudged the side of my head, immediately followed by a canine wet willy. I scrubbed at my ear as the woman crouched in front of me and checked my pulse. "Atsuko, how long has he been here?"

The dog whined in my ear.

"If course I know he got lost, all the newbies get lost at least once. How long has he been here?"

I flinched as Atsuko barked in my ear.

"Just answer the damn question, you cat. He's not going to get in trouble for it."

Another whine.

"Ten hours? That can't be right, he would have started moving, or at least slept, if that was the case."

A growl.

"I do keep a bead on what's going on around here."

Another whine.

"Hush, you know better than to say things like that."

A yip.

"Yes, but I don't know why he's not responding. Come on, the General will know what to do."

She pulled me to my feet, but when my legs would barely hold my weight, she put my arms around her neck and picked me up like a kid.

"Damn, he's lighter than Tsume-chan!"

She held my head against her shoulder before bouncing through the halls, jarring my teeth at every step.

"Yo! General-sama! Atsuko and I found him. He was lost downstairs and is in pretty bad shape. How hard have you been working him? If you're doing limits training, someone screwed up and I don't think he'll be fit for much of anything for the next few days."

She set me on my feet and backed away. I tilted precariously to one side, and someone grabbed my arm to keep me upright. "Damnit, why didn't anyone notice he was missing sooner?" Kagami demanded, shaking me slightly. I just let my head droop in exhaustion. "Panda, take him to his room and tell his brother he needs rest and something to eat. Rat, why the hell didn't you say anything when he didn't show up to training? Damn it all, I don't have time for this! I need all active agents with more than three years of experience ready to mobilize in ten minutes! Everyone with one or two years of experience are taking over the ANBU role in the village defenses and operating per usual. Everyone with less than a year are to remain in headquarters. Roach, if I catch you trying that suicide jutsu again, I'm whipping your ass until it bleeds and then you can sit on it for the next year. Evil trio, you're with me. Everyone else, standard teams of four. Get moving!" Kagami bellowed.

Someone picked me up and hurried out of wherever we were. I hadn't opened my eyes since I sat down in that hallway. I was pretty sure I had been awake for over eighty hours straight, but no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to, I couldn't sleep.

"Nii-san?" Nagato asked hopefully as I was carried through the door. "What did you do to Nii-san? Where—"

"You'll leave the matter alone if you know what's good for you, kid," the person carrying me groused. "You're in charge of taking care of him, runt, he needs rest and food."

"But—" Nagato began as the man laid me on the bed.

"Start by making him as comfortable as you can, you might want to warm him up too, his skin's like ice. Don't worry, kid, you'll do fine."

Nagato pulled me into a sitting position, sniffling, and took off the armor on my chest and arms, quickly followed by the rest of my armor and weapons, dropping them in a pile on the floor.

"What did they do to you, Nii-san?" Nagato asked and sat down beside me, curling against my side, arms locked around my torso.

"I'll be fine," I promised him, barely intelligible. Suddenly, he stiffened, and like the breaking of a Genjutsu, the fog over everything lifted It took me precious seconds to realize that there actually had been a Genjutsu.

Finally! You've been in that damn Genjutsu for days! That bastard managed to put one on you and I barely managed to avoid the others! The Kyuubi grumbled in annoyance.

The lethargy and mental fogginess wasn't shock. My normal reaction to seeing what I had would have been to put a stop to it by whatever means necessary. A Genjutsu had forced me into a passive state. I hated Genjutsu. Likely, my inability to look up, refusal to open my eyes, and the difficulty in keeping track of my surroundings was the Kyuubi trying to prevent another Genjutsu from taking hold. The fact that he had that much control over my body and emotions, little as it was, made me slightly nervous, but right now, it had probably saved me a lot of grief.

There was someone sitting at my desk several feet away, I could feel them. Nagato pressed the hand signal for Uchiha into my lower back and I somehow just knew it was Madara. My heart raced and I felt naked with only two senbon taped to the inside of each of my forearms to avoid someone accidentally slitting my wrists. Besides that, my weapons and armor were all in the locker across the room, which Madara was conveniently in the way of. My sticks were on the desk beside him. I quickly disrupted every iota of chakra in my body to make sure there was no Genjutsu.

"My name is Uchiha Madara. I won't harm you or your brother, child, no matter what happens. There will be no jutsu or blows of any kind exchanged unless they come from you. I swear it on my eyes, which are currently in your possession. I only want to speak with you." He assured me. His voice was soft, grandfatherly. I wanted to believe him. I shook my head sharply, shaking off another Genjutsu with the sound of a popped joint.

I pulled the bandages off my head and quickly rolled it up before tossing it to him. I heard him catch it out of the air. "Put that over your Sharingan."

To my surprise, he obliged. I pulled on a scrap of Kyuubi chakra that I was capable of and used it to watch him wrap the cloth over his eyes.

I want you to close yourself off to everything right now. Madara shouldn't be able to touch you, even if he wanted to, at least, not without access to the seal. It will be your job to break me out of whatever Genjutsu he manages to stick on me as soon as you can.

For once you're making sense, runt, go ahead.

I checked Nagato for a Genjutsu before looking up at Madara. He had propped a kama against the desk beside him, an orange mask with black markings dangling off the handle. His hair only had white streaks amid the black and the cloth covered his eyes. He wore the traditional Uchiha clothing. He had to be at least sixty.

"I gave you my name, I do believe it would be polite of you to introduce yourself."

"You are a known traitor and are currently trespassing in a restricted area. You are not a guest here. I am currently breaking the laws of this village by tolerating your presence."

His head tilted to the side as he considered me carefully. "You are much more knowledgeable than your brother."

I didn't respond. He leaned back in the chair and picked up one of my sticks from the desk. It took him two tries to find them, but I knew it was an act to try and make me feel as though I had an advantage. Any halfway decent shinobi had the lay of the room memorized so they could still maneuver in case their vision was impaired at any point. He tested their weight.

"A very long time ago, I believe I was around your age, my father warned me," his voice adopted a lower register and his back straightened as he imitated a man who died before Kichiro's parents were born. "'Son, the most dangerous person on the battlefield won't carry a blade, he won't look intimidating or strong. He'll stand there because he has no other choice. He'll stand there and won't shed a drop of blood. If he's not on your side, you're fighting for the wrong cause.'" Madara paused dramatically.

"I can see your attempt to stoke my ego for what it is. It won't work. What do you want?" I interrupted bluntly.

He hesitated, but changed tactics. "What do you want?"

"Irrelevant. Why are you here? What do you want? Tell me plain and simple, I won't listen to anything else."

"Am I correct in thinking these are made from one of the trees Hashirama grew? They are much more powerful than you can imagine, Kichiro-kun." He swung the stick around experimentally, but remained in his seat.

"If you continue to refuse to give me a straight answer, I will declare this conversation over and resort to procedure when confronting a missing-nin."

He fell silent, as if trying to determine how serious I was. "I want many things. I want my brother back. I want to fight Hashirama again, both of us in our prime, the height of our power. I want peace for what's left of this broken world."

"Then you are a foolish old man who never learned that fairytales are just stories to make the rest of the world seem a little less dark and scary."

I knew I was throwing a serious wrench in Madara's plan, but I knew he respected strength and enjoyed a challenge. I just hoped I presented the right amount of both to keep him interested but not violent.

"Insulting me is not a particularly wise course of action."

"Then you have misjudged my character. I do not appreciate pleasantries and lies, whether they be to oneself or another."

"What if there was a way for me to bring peace to this world? What if there was a way for me to see my brother again? What if there was a way for me face my rival again as an equal?"

"Then I'll tell you that you're deluded or most likely have been grossly manipulated."

"Why do you suggest manipulated?"

"If you really believe what you're saying, you either had to have worked this out for yourself or someone told you the answer. Everyone believes you to be dead. The chances of you surviving by yourself after your battle with the Shodai are as close to zero as you can get. The report written by Uzumaki Mito on your fight with the Shodai is available to Academy students and required reading for those in the medical program. It details the injuries you sustained, and the cause of death was declared to be chakra exhaustion. The only way for you to survive would require shinobi-grade medical assistance, and even that would have been a five percent chance of success with the techniques available in that day."

"That is quite the deduction." He flung the stick at me faster than I could track. I tried to catch it, but I knew before it even left Madara's hand that I wouldn't be able to react fast enough, but I was determined not to flinch. The handle of the stick slapped against my palm, jarring my entire arm. I couldn't stop its momentum as it slammed into my chest, but managed to keep my grip on it.

"Aw, shucks," I deadpanned, doing my best to remain unfazed, even though my stomach churned, my heart hammered, and I had no idea whether to interpret his action as an attack or a test. "So, which is it? Are you a deluded madman or a manipulated traitor?"

"You're an interesting kid."

"You're full of shit." He flung my other stick at Nagato, who didn't even see it coming. I reinforced my arm with chakra as I caught it. The extra effort barely managed to stop Nagato from getting hit while I kept my grip on my stick.

"May I ask you some questions?" He had the audacity to act.

"I don't owe you any answers." I stood up and flexed my arms, my patience thin and my fear very close to destroying my façade.

"Then all I ask is that you hear me out."

Nagato's hands tightened around my arm as if I needed to be held back. "You have invaded one of the few places I felt safe. Your assurances that you will do no harm mean jack shit to me. You are a shinobi, a missing-nin, and shinobi lie, especially missing-nin. If your intentions were pure, you would have approached me on neutral ground, unarmed, and without Genjutsu. You would not have performed an unauthorized organ transplant on one of my family members, nor would you have first approached my little brother, who is not yet able to speak for himself according to the customs of both the Uchiha and Uzumaki clans, as well as Konoha law. If you want me to listen, there will be conditions. First, this conversation will take place at a later date, in a public place, I will arrange for security seals if you believe them to be necessary. Second, you will be unarmed and your Sharingan will be temporarily sealed. Third, the Hokage of this village, whose laws and authority I am subject to, will be fully aware of this meeting. Finally, there will be no Genjutsu, disguises, or deception of any kind. Both of us will arrive voluntarily and alone, and will leave in the same manner. If you want me to listen, that is the only way I will. You may not contact any of my family in any way. Until such time as those conditions are met, any further communication between us will be through the foreign communications department of Konoha."

I tightened my grip on my sticks but it didn't stop them from shaking. Even though he was blindfolded, I knew that he could tell how much his presence was affecting me.

"You are adamant in this."

"The greatest trick the devil pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist," I responded. "I will not be complacent with that."

"I will make the necessary arrangements."

He stood up and turned around, replacing the makeshift blindfold with his mask, picked up the kama, and walked out the door.