Chapter 21 -> Part 21

"Spoons and cookies," Minato suggested.

"You use spoons to steal cookie dough!" Kushina answered. "Streets and tables."

"They're both places where you can get food," Minato responded. "Corks and cups."

"They have to relate, Minato!" Kushina exclaimed.

"They do, Kushina, the connection is drinks," I fired back.

"What?" They both chorused.

"Corks seal bottles with drinks in them and you drink out of cups."

"There wasn't supposed to be a connection," Minato complained.

"Then it's against the rules, Minato, you know better. My turn: mountains and orange juice."

Both fell silent, thinking.

"Ten seconds left…Five, four, three, two, one, time! I believe I win that round with fifty points and it's my turn to pick the next game."

"Wait! What's the relationship?"

"They're both made by squeezing."

I got two blank looks.

"You squeeze oranges to make orange juice and two pieces of land mush together and mountains come up."

"Yours are impossible, Nii-san," Kushina complained.

"I guess I'm just smarter than you."

"Are not!" Minato retorted. "We scored higher on the Genin test than you."

"You do realize I didn't even take the written test and smoked almost everyone else on the physical test."

They scowled at me.

"Besides, the Genin test was months ago and I'm a Chuunin already, so of course I have to be better than you."

Someone knocked on the door. Before I could open my mouth, both Genin slid past me and hid underneath the bed. I sighed. I couldn't blame them for being jumpier than water on a hot skillet, but I thought I had been making progress. They agreed to retell what happened, several times, after I explained why they kept uncharacteristically losing control of their emotions and freaking out over innocuous things. Over the past week, I had figured out a number of the triggers that set them off and did my best to attach positive connotations to them. Whoever was at the door knocked again. I closed the door leading to the bedroom/living room/kitchen and peeked out the front door. In an instant, I recognized the Hokage and made no move to open the door further.

"What do you want? I still have two weeks of leave and I turned in my report days ago."

"You're needed."

"I refuse."

"Uzumaki-kun—"

"As the highest ranking shinobi of my clan, I am, by default, the clan head and it will take a three-quarter majority of the adult and shinobi clan members to replace me. Unless you manage to persuade Ise, Fusō, and Kushina that I am not fit to lead, then as a clan head, I am within my legal rights to refuse any mission on the grounds of duties to my clan." Kushina peeked over my shoulder and Minato pressed his ear to the door.

"You must be a legal adult—"

"In case you've forgotten as well, I'm a Chuunin, which means I am a full, legal adult. I even bought a house with my savings so the orphans I brought from Uzu would have somewhere nice to live and won't have to compete with a hundred other children for food and a place to sleep. In fact, it's a rather nice house, and if they wanted, they all could have their own room!"

The Hokage pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Do we really have a house now?" Kushina asked.

"Yep! As soon as you're cleared for civilian contact, we can go see everyone in it. Hokage-sama, is there anything else?"

"May I come inside? The information I have for you should not be spoken across the doorstep."

I gritted my teeth and relented, stepping out of the way and opening the door before retreating down the hall. The Hokage gestured into the main room. Minato eagerly led the way. In the center of the room, an impressive pyramid of my not-drugged senbon stood upright, balanced against each other.

"Impressive," the Hokage commented. "Who made it?"

I gestured towards the two of them, who beamed proudly, before I sat down in one of the two chairs around the kitchen table. "What do you want to tell me?"

"Suna surrendered as of yesterday morning."

"Good. Does Konoha have the one-tail now?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, but Katō-san returned with the Nibi Jinchuuriki last night."

"They're early."

"Yes. Iwa has made an alliance with Ame against Konoha."

"Why are you telling me? I can't do anything about it."

"With help from Ame, Iwa has taken full control of Kusagakure."

"I still can't do anything about it. Entire villages are a bit above my weight class."

"Weight class?"

"Skill level," I explained, slightly annoyed at how badly idioms translated.

"I'm not stupid enough to drop you into the fighting force. From what little information that has made it back, Ame shared several deadly poisons with Iwa, who is utilizing them to their full potential and devastating our ranks. I believe you can repeat your miracle from Suna and become an effective counter."

"I know a copy of what I did made it to Tsunade and several made it to Konoha. The other medics should be perfectly capable of figuring it out."

"Attempts have been made, but as of today, not even an antidote has been found to the poisons, much less what you've taken to calling an immunity."

"Tell the medics to treat the symptoms of the poison. The body will break down the poison by itself, as long as it can function, and build up a tolerance by itself—"

"Just through skin contact, medics are dying from this poison as well. Uzumaki-kun, your advice is helpful, but it is no substitute for your innate understanding of what we're up against."

I crossed my arms

"Let me impress this upon you. People are suffering and dying in that fight. Konoha may have won against Suna and forced peace with Kumo, but we did so at great cost to ourselves. Less than half of our original fighting force is still intact, Genin and a very small handful of ANBU now make up the entire village defense."

"Then why aren't you out fighting?" I accused.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Iwa," he stated. "There are no longer enough shinobi stationed in the village for me to effectively manipulate the war effort from here."

I gaped at him.

"Nii-san, you can't stay back just for us," Kushina murmured, kneeling beside me and leaning against my leg.

"We're not that important and we'll be fine until you're home again," Minato promised.

"You got to go help. Those people need you more than we do."

I turned a sharp gaze to the Hokage, but his expression held no triumph, only exhaustion and guilt. He just picked at a groove in the table, eyes averted. "Not only is every available man needed against Iwa, but that need is reflected in Kiri with similar circumstances, though the medics have better luck in combating more familiar Kiri poisons. This village had next to no defenses remaining and the Daimyō is on his way here, considering even in its current state, Konoha remains the safest place in the Land of Fire. Danzō and the rest of my council are leading the fight against Kiri. I know your opinion on them, so I won't ask you to head there.

"You are needed here and you are needed in the war. If you remain here, you will need to direct the Genin, identify and record fatalities, heal the wounded who make it back, and facilitate communication with me, Danzō, the Daimyō, and Konoha's civilian leadership."

"That's quite the sales pitch. Basically, you're considering appointing me temporary Hokage, head medic, and ambassador. Again, you do realize I am a nine-year-old Chuunin with only a week of experience in the leadership of a clan of eleven, nearly all of whom are children." That wasn't exactly true. I was a Second Lieutenant in my old world, but that only lasted two years and my responsibility was child's play in comparison. Oh, the irony.

"Please stop treating this like a joke, Uzumaki-kun. If I had a choice, I would have thrown you from the forces a long time ago. I would much rather have you somewhere I can keep an eye on you, but your skill set and sharp tongue are well suited for a role here, as well as provides a maximization of resources."

I wanted to bolt. Unless I actively sought it out, I tended to avoid responsibility. "You want me to stay here?" I asked.

"The responsibility I'm asking you to shoulder is not something I would ask of any other child and I would never order it. You made no agreement to leadership in your shinobi contract, thus you have no obligation to accept, but if you do not, you will be accompanying me to Iwa no matter what titles you claim. The so-called laws you reference are merely guideline in time of peace. I am still the absolute authority in this village."

I felt like a total, immature ass. "Excuse me for a moment, Hokage-sama," I said solemnly and stood, bowed once, and hurried out of the room. I barely made it out of the room before I had to stop, my knees weak. How the hell was the village still standing if it was in as dire straits as the Hokage implied?

"Why is Nii-san upset?" Minato asked.

"He's not upset, Minato-kun," the Hokage explained patiently. "He just has a lot to take in that he didn't expect."

"That's a good thing, right?" Kushina asked.

"No, Kushina-chan. It's not a good thing. The village is in a very bad place right now and a lot is being asked of all of the Chuunin and Jōnin. Being the youngest of that group means he has a lot of pressure and he deals with it in his own unique way."

"He's not going to go crazy like I did, right?"

"You are crazy but—"

"That's not funny, Minato."

"You're crazy, but you're you so you're not, just like Nii-san says. He's not going to go crazy because Nii-san will still be Nii-san!"

The Hokage chuckled softly, but didn't correct him.

They fell silent and I took a knee before I fell. It wasn't the pressure that was bothering me. Once the full impact of exactly how bad off we were in this war sunk in more and the blood pounding in my head faded, I returned.

"I need an answer soon, Uzumaki-kun. If you remain here, there is a lot that needs to be done before I leave."

"If I stay, how long will it be?"

"It could be a week, it will most likely be several months, it could be several years but that is highly unlikely. I need your answer, Uzumaki-kun."

If I had an even choice between the two options, I knew I would much prefer healing on a battlefield than taking responsibility no one in their right mind would give me if I was my mental age, much less appearing as a pre-pubescent child.

"Why?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why me? Nearly all of the forces are older and have more experience."

"Understand that I'm not condoning your actions and words by saying this but besides you, only my peers ever question my orders or even question authority in general. With the arrival of the Daimyō and the pressure of the civilian leadership, the only people I know won't cater to their whims or abuse their power are so desperately needed in the fighting they cannot be sent back here, nor can I leave those who remain with standing orders because decisions need to be made and establishing a communication line is utterly foolish."

"So you're giving someone with a mistrust of authority and an insubordination record command over the whole village."

"I need an answer."

I said nothing.

"Most would treat my offer as an opportunity."

"Mistrust of authority," I repeated. "And I have nothing to prove."

"I still need your answer."

"I don't know! Okay?" I threw my hands in the air and started pacing. "I don't want to go back to the front lines; I can't look at someone and let them die without doing something; strangers aren't worth my time or sacrifice; they don't have a raindrop's chance in hell otherwise! I can't remember the last meal I had; they died because I couldn't get my shit together—"

"Uzumaki-kun!" The Hokage barked sharply, sounding suspiciously like a drill sergeant. I briefly straightened and turned towards him. "I don't care about the past, I need to know about now."

The desire to run intensified. "I'm not a leader, I'm not a fighter—I just do what I'm supposed to—stop psychoanalyzing me; this is one of your elaborate plans isn't it?"

"It is, but not in the sense you're thinking; you aren't an unwitting piece of this strategy. I'm not psychoanalyzing you."

"Then what—"

"Your answer, Uzumaki-kun."

My eyes burned. "I don't know, just wherever I'm most useful, I'll get the job done, whatever it is." I turned on my heel and left, locking myself in the bathroom. I leaned over the sink, my gut feeling like someone tangled a beater in my intestines. When I glanced up at the mirror, I saw my eyes were puffy. Stupid childhood hormones. I was just frustrated, not upset. I was angry and overwhelmed, not sad. I wasn't a child, I had no right to cry. I turned on the cold water, hoping the shock would jolt everything into perspective.

I jumped and scraped the back of my hand on the faucet as someone knocked on the door.

"Screw it all!" I hissed as a trickle of blood swirled down the drain. "Who is it? What do you want?" I demanded.

"It's me," the Hokage said softly as I turned off the water, releasing a bit of chakra through the door for identification. I responded automatically in kind. "Come to the Academy auditorium at 1700 hours in full uniform, including your haori." It was more than enough time to get ready and walk there.

"I'll be there," I responded.

There was a moment of silence and I could feel the Hokage just standing there. "Are you alright?" He finally asked.

I bit back the angry, sarcastic response I wanted to give and settled for a cold dismissal as I watched the blood drip into the sink. "You've said your piece. Please leave."

He hesitated, but still left without another word.

Without paying attention, I cleaned and healed the cut with a small burst of chakra, then splashed my face with water. When my face finally looked mostly normal, I pulled my mission bag out from beneath the sink and changed into my uniform. I donned my weapons as I exited the bathroom. Minato and Kushina stood directly outside the door, looking up at me like they wanted something.

"What do you want?" I asked warily, attaching the holster for my sticks to the small of my back.

"We want to try for reinstatement," Minato said firmly.

"Okay, sure."

"Can you take us to the hospital before you meet with the Hokage?" Kushina prompted when I just stood there, attaching my kunai pouch filled with senbon to my thigh.

I shrugged. "Okay, um, what prompted this?" I attached my medic pouch to my belt.

"We want to help."

"Oh, okay then. Go get ready," I told them, pulling on my haori.

The two beamed and scampered off. By the time I finished pulling on my sandals, they were both ready and waiting. I fished my sealing kit out of my bag and added it to my medic pouch before standing up, ready to leave, bag left behind. I didn't think they'd pass the requirements, but there was no harm in letting them try.

The two bounced ahead of me, down the dreary street. Conversations automatically turned to whispers as I strode past. I hadn't determined exactly why the civilians quieted at my appearance, but they didn't seem hostile, so I didn't exactly care. It might have been the fact my Jinchuuriki status wasn't a secret, though not public, or it might have been the distinctive haori, or it might even have been that Chuunin under the age of fifteen rarely appeared in uniform and Genin generally appeared as civilians at first glance.

At least there wasn't the hero worship I remembered from a few months before, though it was strange not to see children running around on the streets at this time of day.

I stared straight ahead and stuck my hands in my pockets, appearing perfectly relaxed, even when Kushina jumped on my back for an impromptu piggy-back ride. I dropped them off at the hospital and headed straight to the Academy.

"I didn't expect you to show up," the Hokage said from the raised platform as I opened the auditorium door. He leaned over a table cluttered with documents and didn't bother to look up at me.

"What did you expect?" I asked, slightly curious as he waved me forward.

"I thought you would run, choose the life of a missing-nin."

That was a disturbing thought. I didn't bother to answer as I jumped up onto the platform and surveyed the table of personnel files. "If you thought I would run then why—"

"That doesn't matter. In forty minutes, all the active ninja in the village will be here for a briefing, save those currently on guard. You need to be caught up on all of their assignments as well as functionally aware of everything you will be dealing with in my absence."

I suppressed a smart-ass response about the impossibility of that endeavor.

"There are three squads of twenty-two Genin maintaining a village perimeter at any given time. Of that force, there are ten others who randomly rotate in or act as replacements. The schedule for the next three months is here." He walked over to the podium and carried it closer before placing a large, fat scroll inside of it. "This is fairly straightforward and besides handing out the orders shortly before every shift, it should run smoothly. If the schedule nears its end, make a new one and be sure that no one has a double shift, the Genin don't have enough experience for it. Three ANBU will remain here and, at all times, one will be monitoring your decisions and remain available should you need help. Please utilize the assistance and advice they can offer. They have their own orders and will be carrying them out." He motioned behind him. Three ANBU materialized behind him. "This is Boar, Rat, and Bird. Memorize their masks and chakra signature."

My eyes flickered up to them. Two were probably teenagers considering the entire standing defense force seemed to be far too young to be wise, though I couldn't tell whether they were male or female. The third, Rat, was clearly an adult. I closed my eyes in concentration to detect and make note of their chakra signatures. "Got it," I murmured and by the time my eyes reopened, all three had vanished beyond my ability to detect without the Kyuubi's help.

"Sometime in the next week, the Fire Daimyō will be returning to the village itself. Please be at the gate to meet him in my stead. You can count on the fact that he will be patronizing and disrespectful. Be polite and respectful in return. I cannot express how important it is that you remain civil, none of your sassiness, sarcasm, snark, and satire in making your point."

I snorted at the alliteration.

"Please remain mature. The Daimyō is going to try and take control and it's his right to control the civilians and demand information, but under no circumstances are you to hand over authority of or information about the shinobi forces I'm giving you, as paltry as they are. If he wants protection, he can follow you around the village. Give this scroll here to him." He held up a thin, official-looking message scroll and placed it beside the fat one. "It tells him who you are and what your orders are, including the fact that you are to disregard any orders he attempts to give concerning my shinobi. Do you have questions so far?"

"This is going to sound really immature but do I have to let some stuck-up noble follow me around?"

"If he wants to, yes."

I opened my mouth to protest, but closed it when the Hokage glared at me.

"You will be mature about this arrangement." He launched into a description of the Daimyō's habits, preferences, and brief history that didn't make it into the history books. It was information I could, and would, have gathered on my own with a little experience. "Any other questions?"

"No, sir."

"Next, alongside the Genin and ANBU, there are four other Chuunin in the village. Unless the village comes under attack, you should only have contact with one of them. Three are maintaining the Torture and Interrogation Department and one is dealing with the Intelligence Department, as well as Communications. This is who you will be working with. You'll get along with her. She's quite eccentric and, like you, has an intense mistrust of all but a select few in authority. Messages and information will go through her and she'll pass on relevant information to you as well as leave you to formulate responses to it. Messages from me and Danzō will be sent directly to you." He continued on to thoroughly explain the communication system, which I determined to be far more complicated than was strictly necessary.

Halfway through, I felt the beginning of a migraine forming in the back of my head, like sitting through a lecture that dragged on for far too long. At least I could take notes during a lecture and review them later if I forgot something. If the system could have been written down, the Hokage would have handed me a scroll to read later. I tried to subtly rub my neck, but the Hokage picked up on it in an instant.

"Are you alright?" He asked suddenly.

"If I was, you wouldn't be asking," I responded, instantly defensive.

"I know you think I'm a one of the worst people alive, but it doesn't mean I don't care about your well-being."

My teeth clacked together as I suppressed a biting response. It was like he was trying to antagonize me. I massaged a knot in my neck. "There is eleven minutes until the meeting is scheduled to begin," I reminded him.

He gave me one of those parent looks that said he knew exactly what I was doing and disapproved. He quickly finished the explanation and moved on. "I can't key you into the seals around my office on this short of notice, but you're perfectly capable of creating security seals wherever you choose to set up your central command. I would suggest finding an entirely new place for safety. If you want, you can use the Academy since school has been suspended, but I don't recommend being so far away from the village walls considering the limited speed of Genin. You know, or at least you should know, the hospital procedures. I only want you dealing with shinobi and their collateral, you don't have enough energy to help every unfortunate civilian you cross."

I was about to protest that I could do whatever I liked when something in his tone sounded strange. "What are you talking about?" I asked warily.

"Don't play dumb with me, I know about how you mess with the civilian doctors and I've received dozens of complaints about it. I never said anything, because it isn't malicious, but you need to conserve your energy in case of emergencies—"

"I have the Kyuubi—"

"The Kyuubi is not a cure-all, Uzumaki-kun. The entire village, including the civilians, can sense you when you access its chakra outside of my office or the underground room you're familiar with."

"So?"

The Hokage studied me. "You are not trained in sensing, are you?"

"I can sense, just not very well. If I use the Kyuubi—"

"It multiplies that ability as well as allows you to sense negative emotion, yes, Mito-sama told me about that trait. My point is that you don't seem to understand just how potent the Kyuubi's chakra is."

I shifted awkwardly. "It doesn't hurt anyone—unless they touch it."

He sighed. "Let me put it this way, do you remember the first time you came in contact with the Kyuubi's chakra?"

Frowning, I thought back. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"What was it like?"

I hoped that was a rhetorical question. I tended to do my very best to just avoid the memory of the sealing. The fact that I felt all-around awful dulled the actual experience, but it was worse in hindsight. I remembered how toxic the chakra was and how it burned through my body seeking an escape from the seal. It had raged and burned and I couldn't get away—

"You remember the sealing, don't you? And are you aware of how dense the Kyuubi's chakra is and how much you're containing?"

He had a point, but it's not like I would ever admit it. I had been used to Ninjutsu fights with Sakumo that would saturate the air around the training ground with chakra. It was probably why I never lost consciousness during the sealing. Anyone without that kind of tolerance would be extremely susceptible.

"Both you and your sister had above-average chakra levels when you arrived here, even though she had quite a bit more, which was one of the reasons she was our first choice as Jinchuuriki. By normal standards, you shouldn't have been able to master the control necessary in order to become a medic, in fact, you were meant to become a Ninjutsu specialist, which is why I assigned Hatake-san as your sensei."

"So you weren't only manipulating my head, but my abilities as well."

"Every academy student is assessed physically and mentally then placed with Jōnin who best suit their skill set. You were just placed early."

"Sakumo didn't teach me Ninjutsu for over a year."

"For the first few months, it was the plan to wait until you dropped out of the medic program of your own free will, but obviously it didn't work, especially when you showed incredible talent, perhaps instinct, in diagnosis and developing effective solutions."

I was technically cheating with general knowledge from my world. The Hokage's decision to send me, a very, very fresh Genin, on a B-rank for my first mission suddenly made a bit more sense.

"Solutions that were not taught and you shouldn't have known, such as how to make a proper splint at age seven, even though, according to your sister, you had never even met someone with a broken bone, or if you had, you weren't old enough to remember how to treat it."

Or, you know, was a boy scout. I shrugged. "It made sense. The girl's arm was crooked, so it was obviously broken and wasn't supposed to be like that so I put something to make sure it wouldn't bend anymore. It was common sense."

"I suppose it's also common sense that in the body there is not only a system of pathways for blood, another for chakra, and third, previously unknown, system of fluid that specifically fights poisons."

"Yes," I stated sarcastically. My forehead burned a little at the near-lie, but I ignored it.

The Hokage hummed. "And I suppose the existence of a secret military in the village, whom you've had no contact with, officially or unofficially, was common sense as well."

"I didn't think it actually existed," I muttered.

"But you still knew about it. How?"

I chewed on my bottom lip and looked up at the ceiling, trying to come up with a suitable response.

"I want you to think about your answer to that while I'm gone. For now, I need to know any and all information you have pertaining to this war."

"I don't have any."

I didn't even see the Sandaime move. One second, he was on the other side of the table and in the next instant, the air was so thick with killing intent I could barely breathe, much less move. Not that I would dare move. He stood behind me with a fistful of my hair and a paper-thin blade in my neck between my artery and trachea. Any movement would sever one or the other. If I waited too long, the pulse of blood would saw through the artery.

Reflexively, I started to reach for the blade, but his hand tightened in my hair. I closed my eyes, trembling like the ribbons people tied to the grates of fans.

Before I properly registered the situation, the Sandaime released me, the killing intent fading. As soon as he released me, I sank to my knees and pressed a hand against my throat, a thin line of blood dribbling down. Belatedly, I realized I was crying as well. I wiped my face and smoothed my hair, struggling to regain my composure. I tried to heal my neck, but my hands shook too violently and my chakra was still out of control.

There was a loud crash and I jolted backwards at the table tipped precariously. The Sandaime had kicked a leg of the table off and it crashed against the wall sixty feet away. I scrambled backwards so the papers didn't fall on top of me. It didn't take me long to calm down and climb back to my feet.

"What the hell was that all about?" I snapped.

"Danzō has been working with someone and before he returns, I need to figure out who it is."

"And you thought it was me?" I asked, incredulous.

"There was a significant chance."

"You could have just asked. What subterfuge is next?"

"You're just a Chuunin, Uzumaki-kun, and you already know much more than you should. You're too smart for your own good."

Scowling, I retorted, "Fine, but almost every time I've been given a direct plan without a corresponding mission, it's been a front for something else. How do I know you're screwing with my head again?"

The Sandaime pulled a mission scroll out of his pocket and handed it to me. I opened it.

(-_-)

WARTIME MISSION

Team Leader: Uzumaki Kichiro 007309

Teammates: N/A

Clearance Level: 007309-Full Disclosure

Rank: A

Type: Village Services, Leadership

Mission Summary: Lead the village in the absence of the Hokage.

Duration: Indefinite

Issued by: Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage

(-_-)

Underneath the Hokage's signature was a strange seal. I ignored it and focused on the first thing that caught my attention. "Full Disclosure?" I asked dubiously. "That's higher than most Jōnin."

He tapped my forehead with his knuckles even as I flinched away. "I may not trust you as a person, but I can fully trust you as a shinobi."

"I'm flattered." I rolled my eyes. "Your summary is pretty spare."

He didn't respond and almost absently, he walked over and retrieved the table leg he kicked off and propped it back underneath so the thing didn't tip. I sealed the mission scroll inside of my pocket as the Genin shinobi began to file in for the meeting. Slightly apprehensive, I kept my back to the rest of the auditorium.

"Take a seat everybody," the Hokage called out to them. They started to take seats. "Do you have any questions so far?" He addressed me.

"Not as of yet."

"Right." He picked up the scrolls from the podium and handed them to me. I took them and slipped them into the pouch on my back. "These meetings are scheduled ten minutes before each shift begins and you will announce who will take the next shift at each one. This meeting is scheduled early, for obvious reasons."

The Hokage picked up the podium and brought it to the front of the raised platform. One could call it a stage, but there was no curtain. I turned around and stood at attention just off the Hokage's left shoulder. Technically, there were only procedures for standing at funerals and before the Daimyō but I still stood with my feet together and my hands at my sides, just like I was taught in the Army. Old habits die hard. Without further ado, the Hokage began the meeting.