Chapter XI – a monkey's moment of fame

Try to deal with it with creativity… creativity, huh? I wish Yamazaki would say something right ahead without any riddles. Just say already what candidate I should search for! No, instead, I have to solve the puzzle myself. The only hint I had was that selling a prostitute would not solve the problem… Not like I was going to do it anyway.

With that said, I need to get to the root of the problem, with it being the asshole hero. This happens when you order things from untrusted places, which should be a lesson for life. 

Sigh

"Saru, what should I do with that woman-request?"

"Hmmm, dunno. Reject it?"

I greatly appreciate your help. It's difficult to think of what I would have done without you. Argh…

Ogawa! Where are you when I need you the most? I would never think that he is on such bad terms with his instinct of self-preservation.

Sigh

I looked at the ceiling and whispered – "Ogawa…" — out of a sudden, I felt how someone had patted me on my left shoulder and a familiar voice responded — "You were looking for me, Kazuya?" 

hiiek! 

My soul had left my body for a brief moment. I had now died not once, but twice in my life.

"Furuya, please, don't do that…" — spare my little soul…

"Do what?"

He tilted his head in bewilderment – are you acting like that, or are you indeed that innocent and not aware of your own occasional creepiness? Apart from a office monkey, this company also got a shadow assassin…

"Yo, Ogawachi, where have you been?" — Masaru greeted him.

"Mhm, I overslept today" — Ogawa answered to Saru and then turned back to me — "so, why did you look for me?"

I did? Ah, right, I did. His sudden appearance behind me freaked me out, and I forgot about everything.

"Do you remember the woman-request from yesterday? I talked to Yamazaki, he said I should take care of it with creativity."

Ogawa came to his desk and sat down.

"Creativity, you say? You have to re-educate the good for nothing hero."

After Saru's "help", such fast conclusions were great. Ogawa figured out what I had to do, without even blinking an eye.

"I know that myself already, but how?"

With a fast and gentle hand swing, Ogawa fixed his hair. He leaned on the back of his chair and thought for about a minute, taking off his glasses.

"In your place, I would rather consult at the recruiting center, instead of sitting here. " — he placed the glasses on his nose and looked at me.

"The recruiting center?" — the ears of a certain monkey perked up and looked like antennas.

I think I know what the shadow wanted to tell me. The recruiters hold all the interviews. They know someone's character, desires and much more, more than we do. CanPool lacks in this sense. 

"Alright, I guess I have to pay them a visit."

"I'll come with you!" — Saru stood up and ready to go.

Saru… wake up from your dream, she is not interested in you at all…

"Sure, go on" — I had a rather pitiful face. Poor ape. I hope that one day your persistence will be rewarded.

The ape tilted his head and clapped his eyes, confused. Was it because of my look at him?

"Might if I come with you?" 

An unexpected question came from Ogawa. He also stood up.

"He~, Ogawachi wants to skip work?"

You are not in the position to talk, Akashi Masaru. You literally do the same.

"No, I am just curious about their work. I'm not like you, Masaru."

"He~?! What is the meaning behind this?"

I place my hand over my forehead. Masaru… it is written on your face, isn't it?

"That you are also curious about their work, just from a specific recruiter, innit?"

"I…"

"That's a rhetorical question."

"The spirit of Yamazaki continues to possess him?" — mumbled Ogawa.

Masaru nodded.

"…" 

You cruel bastards, this comparison hurts my soul… 

…

"Oh! Hello, Kazuya, what brings you here?"

We were greeted by an Angel. All my ailments and injuries were healed right away. I came for you – how much I want to say those words. I walk to talk hours and hours about your beautiful eyes, your silky hair, your divine aura and…

"Yo!"

Tsk. A monkey interrupted my fantasies.

"I came to ask you for advice. Are you free now? Maybe should I come later?"

"No, it is fine. I was going to the kitchen to have a small break. Follow me."

We found Ishida waiting for us in the kitchen. Is it okay for a technician to stay here? Well, whatever. 

As soon as she noticed us, Tamayo energetically waved her hand.

"What a company to see! How are you?"

However, I could feel a strange cold presence somewhere here. Every other step led us to something scary. Was there always this strange haze?

"Hello there."

I felt like Death itself grabbed my soul, pressing the tip of its scythe to it. Ah. Fujiwara also stayed there, just next to Ishida. Well, comparing them — Ogawa was way more unnoticeable, then Fujiwara. 

I explained to them everything in detail, including the conversation I had with Yamazaki. 

"A hero adventure!" — Tachibana seemed to be very excited about it. I didn't know she was like that. That makes her just even more cute. On the other hand, Fujiwara seemed to have understood what kind of woman Püjöl promised his hero. I could say by her empty and cold glaze at me. However, she didn't say anything. She placed her finger under her cheek, thinking about something. 

"You need someone who could beat his ass up" – said Ishida out of nowhere while clapping once her hands. 

I mean… she is not entirely wrong… probably.

"So… would you lend me a hand…?" 

Fujiwara moved her head to Tamayo.

"Do you still have that business card I gave you?"

Uhm? Fujiwara had something on her mind? However, Ishida's face suddenly became red. 

"N-no! Why in the world did I have to keep it?!"

Fujiwara sent her a weak smile. Then look at me.

Sigh…

"No. It's a hassle. Moreover, Tamayo lost that note from a prostitute I gave to her."

"…"

Why did you have that note and why did you give it to Tamayo?! I could imagine how she received it. But why Tamayo in the first place?

"Fu-ji-wa-ra! Kazuya is kindly asking us. He needs us, how can you reject him!?" — Tachibana started lecturing and shaking Fujiwara.

"Fi-i-i-ne, ju-u-st l-l-let m-me g-go."

Tachibana stopped shaking her, but we could still see Fujiwara shaking. The Angel turned back to me with sparking and excited eyes. A small shiver took over my body, maybe it's the fear of being shaken to death… She clapped her hands once and announced.

"We will check a few girls we know and schedule an appointment for tomorrow. How is it?" 

"Great" – I responded.

Is everything going to be good…?

…

The next day, 3 candidates had waited for us in the big meeting room. Tachibana, Fujiwara and Ishida each brought one female. I was accompanied by Masaru and Furuya once again. We decided to start with Ishida's candidate, Takagi Mikoto. 

She was keeping her hands in her pockets. Her hair was black, but she colored some strands in dark-blue. She was wearing a jacket with red lines over the pockets. Under it, I could see a shirt. The skirt also had red lines.

However, the clothes weren't as noticeable as her face. She was pretty, but her look was rather warning. She used dark make-up to highlight her eyes. However, after she gave me a sight, I could clearly understand: "If you speak with me — you are dead". 

"Whaddya want?" — she asked me with an annoyed face.

Chew, chew, chew

Did I hear someone chewing a gum?

Chew, chew, chew

Indeed… Takagi chewed a gum while in an interview. Sigh, it will be a difficult day…

"My name is F…"

"Whatever, get to the point" – she kept chewing her gum – "I gotta things to do, ya'know?"

You could have just rejected the proposal and not come here at all, though?

"Ms. Takagi, liste-"

She raised her palm.

"Call me Mikotan, will'ya?"

My right eye twitched several times for the past 30 seconds. That's an absolute record.

Tamayo, sitting next to her candidate, looked at me with questions. Was she right about the candidate? 

"Listen to my boy, will'ya?"

Great, I got a sudden backup from a monkey… wait, that might work… I shook my hand and called Masaru to come to me.

"Hey, Saru, can you handle this thing?"

He looked at me surprised, clapping his eyes. Then stretched his body and proudly said – "lemme cook." 

I gave Saru my seat and decided to enjoy the show.

"There's d'is crazy ass hero that faffing 'round. He demands a girl and we wanna give'em one that can beat the shit outta him"

"…"

Is everything going to be good…?

"What a retard…" — she looked at Saru with disgust. 

"I tell'ya. He botches up h's hero duty."

"He has to be smashed out"

In what language are they talking… well, it seems it works. As long as they understand each other, I'm fine.

"So what you sayin, wanna sort out?"

Mikoto thought about it for some time.

"Nah. Too lazy. No way imma go babysit a retard. Hah."

Saru turned to me, disappointed. 

"She stupid, boss."

"Who'ya calling stupid, ya monkey?"

You are both stupid… sigh, what did I expect. I looked at Ishida. She didn't seem like she cared what was happening. I guess she thought it was a normal conversation, well, perhaps it is, for Ishida. She was rather disappointed by the fact of rejection. 

"Messed up…"

I could only give her a pitiful look. She isn't a recruiter, so there is nothing to feel sorry about. She tried her best.

…

Next turn was Tachibana's client, Amanagi Akari. Her eyes showed me an incredible excitement. Tachibana, what did you tell her?

"Ehm… Hello, my name is Fukuhara Kazuya."

"Yes! Nice to meet you!"

That should be fine.

"Basically, you heard my colleague Akashi, but I doubt you understood anything. I didn't."

"Yes… it was… rather a unique way of expressing oneself." — a small blush appeared on her face – "But, sister Kasumi already told me everything!" 

Right… she did. I could not blame my angel, but still, I have to be very cautious.

"Might if I ask you what Ms. Tachibana told you?"

"Uhm, she told me there is an adventure in some world. A-and the hero needs a female companion."

Sigh, I turned to Tachibana and looked at her. Well. She wasn't lying to her. However, she didn't tell many important things. I doubt she did it purposely, though.

"I-I really love adventures!" — Akari declared — "I… always dreamed of an adventure like this. And to travel with a hero… it's literally like if I lived in a manga story I've read countless times."

I bet it. But I'm afraid you are not suitable for this. Manga, huh… of course. She wants an adventure, but the only thing that awaits her is an idiot who has a god-complex. If I send you, you'll most likely just end up being shocked and disappointed. 

"I'm afraid you don't fit the requirements" – though the only requirement is to be a female. 

I saw a clear disappointment in her face. The excitement was over and she was about to let out a tear. I can't let her cry. 

"But!"

Akari's eyes looked at me with excitement again, it was maybe the last hope to get an adventure she desired so much. 

I continued — "I can assume you, I will ask my other colleagues if there is any adventure-like task going on somewhere."

It was not what she wanted, but at least I dodged the scenario of her getting disappointed and sad. She went out with Tachibana cheering her on. I think I heard a "don't worry, Kazuya is a great guy. He will help you", but it might be my imagination. 

The last one was Fujiwara's candidate, Shimizu Yuuri. From appearance, she looked the oldest among not only the candidates, but all of us. I looked at the CV. 26-year-old, was a junior school teacher in her previous life. She looked… average? I couldn't call her beautiful, but she definitely had a charm.

I didn't expect much from Ishida and Tachibana, but I thought Fujiwara understood what I was looking for. Did I overestimate her?

"Good luck."

Instead of sitting somewhere here, Fujiwara clapped my shoulder and went out of the room.

"Ms. Shimizu, I think Ms. Fujiwara already told you the details."

"Yes, she did."

What an awkward moment. How do I proceed?

"I…"

"Mr. Fukuhara, may I?"

"Sure."

She put her hand on her chest and started.

"I also love adventures, just like Amanagi. I think this one will be really fun to take part in."

Miss, did your students infect you with manga for girls? 

"I can understand your love for adventures, but the main problem here is the hero itself." — I tried to return to the main topic. I rejected Tachibana's candidate because she was too naïve. 

"Oh, the hero" – Ms. Shimizu poked her finger in her cheek and tilted her head – "I had to deal with difficult children before. He is a young adventurer that got used to being well-respected. Popular boys sometimes lose the ground, don't they?" — she asked with a smile.

"Yes, they are." — there it is. She seems to be well-aware of the situation we're going to send her in. 

I'm not gonna lie, her smile gave me a shiver. 

She reminded me of Yamazaki for a moment.

"How will you deal with him?" — I was curious. She seemed to be competent enough. However, does she have some thoughts about approaching?

"Some teachings" — she adjusted her hair — "and some beating, if it's necessary" — she chuckled

…huh?

"Uhm, it's embarrassing to admit, but I know karate a little bit."

Perhaps she noticed my uncomprehending face.

"How much is a little bit?"

"Black belt 2nd dan" – she replied with the same smile as before.

So, if we sum it all up, we got a young teacher who knows how to deal with annoying brats and can actually beat them if needed… 

Fujiwara did a brilliant job, in the end… Shimizu Yuuri is the perfect candidate. However… knowing this demon in a skirt… There has to be some price I will have to pay in the near future.

…