Chapter 1

I want to preface this new story with a warning. This divergent might have things people consider traumatic or hard to deal with, so those people might want to avoid this chapter. It deals with self harm and suicide. (Sure I'm aware this character does partake in self harm for all magical needs even before this story, but if you take out the fantasy then this is what you are left with.)

I'm not a smart cookie or a doctor. I will try my best to be respectful of what I'm trying to portray, but I might mess things up. Anyways, for those that wish to read this, I hope you enjoy it!

(Takes place in mental hospital ward in a contemporary modern world. Like our own on earth here.)

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Chapter 1

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Her eyes fluttered open. Without worry or care. She felt so tired and exhausted. She could see the sun coming in through the glass windows to her right. It made her smile, seeing the sun again. After all she had been through maybe going back to sleep would be the best idea.

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Glass windows? Her eyes quickly opened. The room was a dull grey, some strange material. A barren shelf made out of the same color, though she was unsure of the material.

Saranie's arms were stuck. Moving her head to look at it, she was actually strapped in. Tied down. Not with rope, but instead a leather brace of sorts with padding. She struggled to get herself free.

It was only when she 'tried' to activate her mana sense that she found out the truth. They weren't normal bindings. Her mana was gone, none left. Her lifeforce barely existed. Enough for her to live, but with maybe a chance to cast a spell. Whatever or whoever put her here had her in their clutches. They also had locked her legs to the bed.

Some of her sandy colored hair was in her mouth so she blew it away. That was when a woman came in wearing simple looking clothes, but Saranie could tell right away they were high quality.

"Jahvee, how are you feeling?" This woman had short black hair. Grey sweater with a clipped card on her chest. Her pants were clean, straight black pants that went down to her ankles. She wore strange looking shoes and she could see pink-grey socks sticking out. Holding a tray that had a foggy glass cup holding a clear liquid, maybe water, with another small cup, but she couldn't see what was in it.

"Who are you?" Saranie was beyond confused by her clothing and manner.

"Hiberacy… You don't remember me, Jahvee?" The woman showed clear concern. It was nothing she would find on someone who would take her here.

'Cultist? Also what is that word she keeps saying? Jahvee?' Saranie was trying to figure out all she could. "Why am I bound?" She shook her hands to rattle the chains. Well there were no chains, but the bed frame was made of metal and the small bits of metal hit it. 'Why make a bed out of metal? That seems like a waste of money. Nobles?'

"Jahvee, you harmed yourself. Do you really not remember?"

'Is Jahvee a name? Why call her that?' As the woman set down the tray on the shelf across from her, she turned towards Saranie. Looking at the chest of the woman, she noticed a card that showed her face and name. 'Huh?' Clearing her thoughts, Saranie thought about what the woman said. Her injuries would account for what she had done in that last fight, but there would be more. Even still that was no reason to lock her up. All soldiers would use their lifeforce in life and death situations.

"Yes, so what? Everyone does it." Saranie tried to move her hand to brush away the weirdness that was happening, but realized again she couldn't move her hand. "Look Lady Hiberacy, this must be a misunderstanding. I can pay you for helping me out, but there is no need to leave these bindings on. You have my word that I will not harm you. There should have been a pouch on me that had all the coins on me, take that."

The look of confusion on Lady Hiberacy was not what Saranie expected, especially when it changed back to worry.

"Do you know where you are, Jahvee?"

"No I don't. Where is this place?" Looking outside, Saranie could see another rooftop if she lifted her head from her position.

"Mearticia Hospital in Souvetanse."

Before the woman continued, Saranie took back the conversation. "Lady Hiberacy, I thank you and everyone who helped me. But I really need to get going and I can take care of my wounds."

She really didn't care about paying this woman. Lady Hiberacy must already have a ton of it. All she really cared about was going back to the orphanage.

"Um… Please take these first and let me get Doctor Wraimes. You should talk to him first." Lady Hiberacy grabbed the cup of water and the smaller cup.

"I can take it myself if you unbind me. What is it?"

"This is medicine to help with the pain." Saranie knew her wrists hurt, but her tolerance for pain had been dulled by the war. A healing spell would easily take care of that, but that woman wouldn't unbind her. 'Rich enough to buy these bindings, but not enough to afford a healer.'

As a show of good faith, Saranie took small white beads and swallowed them as the woman instructed and then took a sip of water from the cup. It wasn't glass as it got closer to Saranie.

"Can you take these off?"

"I'm sorry. I cannot do that."

"Why?"

"Let me get Doctor Wraimes, he can answer your questions, Jahvee."

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Saranie was frustrated to say the least. Stuck to this bed. Unable to even leave or heal herself. Bound to a bed. Also nature was calling and she had no intentions to go in this bed.

It wasn't too long until a man came into the room. He wore a black vest. It was sleek and clean. High quality. More than what Lady Hiberacy was wearing. A white, long sleeve, undershirt pronounced his vest. His pants were formed perfectly in the same color as the vest and the same quality. The cobbler who made his shoes must work closely for a king. He also had a similar card on his vest with his name and face.

Short brown hair covered his head. Thick black framed glasses. Whatever material the frame was made out of, it shines like those shoes. Brown eyes hid behind the glasses. Hair followed along his jawline, like a thick brush on a painting.

'Rich and had high quality connections. Is he a Royal Doctor then? Shouldn't he be able to heal Saranie with magic?'

"I'm Doctor Wraimes, Jahvee. Hiberacy mentioned you were having trouble remembering things?"

"I can remember fine. As I told Lady Hiberacy I can pay you back for taking care of me. I'm fine now, so can you take these off so I can go." It was clear to Saranie that Jahvee was a name they kept calling her. There was no need to speak her own name. Maybe it was what these people call patience.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. Jahvee, you harmed yourself. Cutting your wrists. I don't think you are taking this seriously." Wraimes was looking at her like she was a child.

"Seriously? I very much am. I am very serious. If you are worried I might harm you, I swear on my name that I won't harm you. I would like to be released so I can at least go take care of 'business' and then get out of here." She emphasized that word and crossed her legs as best she could.

He stared at her without saying much. Clearly trying to study her.

"Alright, but the door will be open and I'll have two nurses wait outside the door. I'm trusting you not to try anything that might cause harm to yourself or others."

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Hiberacy, a nurse, and a large man entered the room. She couldn't see his name on the card on his chest as the light from the window bounced off of it and into her eyes. They removed the bindings and Saranie got to see what was underneath them.

Her skin had lost its color of being under the sun. That was something she didn't notice earlier, but next to the bandages it was easy to see. Meaning she had been here a long time. A month or more. Then again if that was true, her injuries would have healed by now. Looking closer at the bandages, they were fresh, clean and there was some blood seeping through. Which affirmed to her that these injuries were recent, but that didn't make sense with her skin.

They let her stand on her own. Her legs wobbled for a moment and the two nurses caught her before she could fall back to the bed.

"You lost a lot of blood, so expect some weakness." Doctor Wraimes stood off to the side.

It was true, she had lost a lot of blood.

Slowly they brought her to a small room where there was a toilet for the nobles and a sink with a mirror. Wherever she was, this place was high quality. Everything was. Honestly she couldn't believe it.

They let her remove her pants and underwear, to which she realized they had already redressed her in high quality clothing. Thread count so high that she couldn't see individual threads.

Taking the time to do her business while the nurses were outside, around the corner, Doctor Wraimes called out to her.

"Are you feeling any discomfort anywhere?"

"I'm fine." She was much weaker than she cared to admit. Although there were a few times she had been like this, that was when she understood those events.

Even worse her mana wasn't even regenerating at all. Nothing. It was just gone. Even trying to activate mana sense failed. Nothing. Her lifeforce still there, she could feel it, but hidden and far away, weakened. Actually there was so little that whatever she might get back would be her max and that would be a drop compared to what she had before. It made her feel vulnerable, but at least she had her training behind her. Magic wasn't everything and that was why she fought with her sword and dagger.

She pressed this button on the toilet and watched in fascination as everything that was in there disappeared, replaced by clean water. Going over to the sink, it did take her a moment to figure out what to do. A liquid soap covered her hands and then she washed it off with water. Wiping them dry on her clothes Saranie stepped back when she looked in the mirror.

"Brown eyes?" She knew from looking in the rivers or even her cups at the orphanage that hers were blue. It was her same face and hair. Her body could use some training, but otherwise it was her body. But her eyes were blue, not brown. Blue.

'Could it have been from that change in my lifeforce when I closed that portal? Did they do it?' Feeling inside her body, her mana was just gone. Not restricted at all. So it wasn't some curse or seal on her mana and lifeforce. It wasn't even broken or injured, like it was normal. It wasn't something she needed to worry about now, but it did affect her. Even more vulnerable.

"Everything alright, Jahvee?"

"It's alright." She bowed with her hand over her chest after leaving the bathroom as they called it. The nurses thought she was falling over but she just smiled and waved them off. "I thank you for taking care of me, but I must take my leave. Do you have the items I came with?"

"Jahvee, you are here because you harmed yourself. It is going to be a while before you can leave. We will work together and talk about everything until I can be sure that you won't do it again. I put my trust in you just now to let you do that yourself," he pointed towards the bathroom, "but if you betray that trust, you won't be doing it without supervision."

"Ah…" Saranie didn't really know what to say to that. She looked at the nurses around her and then out the window. Now that she was standing, she walked over to it and looked outside. She was four floors up judging by the window placement. The building looked to be made of brick and it was huge. A mansion? More like a castle by the amount of space it took up. It was tough to see the full building from where she was standing, but there were more. Taller buildings made of glass. Strange carts and carriages moved along black roads as the snow was pushed to the sides.

It was winter, not summer. People wore bright colored coats and furs. Keeping warm in the cold. In front of Saranie on the ledge next to the window was a metal grate and warm air blew out of it.

"Where am I?" Those words were meant to stay in her head, but the absurdity of what she saw shocked her more.

"Jahvee, what's wrong." Doctor Wraimes asked from behind her.

When she stood earlier, they were about the same height with her being just a smidge taller. In the clear glass windows, Saranie could see him using his hand to hold the nurses away from her. Saranie noticed that Hiberacy was looking at her hands in the reflection. Her hands were shaking.

This kingdom survived outside the war. They found her and brought her here. Their technology and magic far exceeded her expectations that she had lived her whole life believing. It's possible, but it really didn't make sense. Saranie fought all over and never saw anything she was currently seeing. Nothing like it.

It made her turn around and ask a simple question she should have asked right away.

"What does Jahvee mean?"

"It's your name." Doctor Wraimes could sense the tension that was building. She could tell as it was for her. He used his hand to hold the nurses back again. Maybe it was to give her space. It was something she would do with the younger kids when something was wrong.

"There must be a misunderstanding here. My name is Saranie." Giving her name and staying calm was best right now. Although she couldn't stop her hands from shaking.

That got the nurses to stop moving. They must have expected a harsher reaction. A fight. Instead after the initial confusion of her name was out of the way, Doctor Wraimes spoke.

"Saranie, you say? That's your name?"

"It is."

"Saranie, can I think it would be best if you sat down."

"I would like to stand."

"Sure."

There was little emotion in either of their voices. Saranie wasn't sure what to make of all of this. So to calm herself down, to stop the shaking in her hands, she thought of the garden. Her breathing slowed as she took in the flowers. Imagining the smoke rising from the blacksmith. At the time in her memory, she hadn't visited there yet, but her memories of it calmed her down.

"Can I ask what you just thought about… Saranie?"

"The garden. How long have I been here for?"

"Three months. Your brother brought you here after he found you on the floor."

Saranie couldn't help but raise her eyebrows.

"My brother? Do you mean Jayvee's brother?"

"Yes, at that time he brought her to us. Do you know him?"

"No, should I?" She let a bit of frustration out. The garden…

"I didn't mean it like that Saranie."

"It was my fault, no need to be sorry."

The doctor seemed to stay quiet for a while. Really taking the time to look her over. Not in an unwanted way, but really trying to figure out who she was. It was something she had to do in the war and what she had done earlier.

"Please tell me about yourself Saranie."