Chapter 1- Becoming of It

I stood there cold, frustrated, as if I knew he was aware of the situation, that being, none of us could hurt him at the moment. My breath escalated, I could see the amount of air escaping my lungs, the room began to drop in temperature as he began his speech. "Let's begin with your new mission, or for some of you, your first." He laughed as I felt his gaze on me. I was angry, that's all I could feel. He had taken everything away from me, and is now expecting me to participate in this?! I couldn't believe it. As he explained the mission we were supposed to partake in, I could only listen to pieces, while the rest of my brain was focused on the reasons why I was led to these events. He asked for our understanding and we all nodded and said yes, he then nodded back and began with saying, "Your distant fates will control the life you live, your death, and how bright your future may come to be. Choose wisely what you do and it may be all or not in your favor." Me, along with the others were now held to thinking of what he could have meant. I couldn't shake the thought of him being natural after what he had done...

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I woke up like any other day. It was all ordinary, all the same. I never thought anything could ever hold me back from the same repeating days, weeks, months. I was held back from so many chances in my life and I didn't even think to realize it. I rose up out of the bed, shaking my head to all the drowsiness I was feeling. No matter how early or how late I fell asleep, I always woke up feeling like I had no sleep at all. I stood up and stretched, then began getting ready for school. Being in high school isn't the hardest thing for me, I think I pull through it well enough, taking the fact that I usually don't go to many of my classes either but I'm still able to pass. I got ready and sped downstairs, knowing I was almost late. My mom was waiting for me, just like any other casual day. Since I'm always so late getting ready we made a routine for the morning, but I could tell mom didn't like it very much.

Also, I have a car and I can drive pretty well. I got my license but last time I decided to drive to school I was forced to keep it at home. Apparently listening to loud music in the car is a sign of rebellion, and I was making a bad impression of the school. Anyways, on the way to school I was lost in my own thoughts, I was thinking of my father. He left for vacation a few months ago, but we haven't heard from him since, which obviously made me grow some worry. I would ask mom if he's doing okay, or if she knew when he was coming back, but she doesn't respond in ways I hope for. Let me just say I am forced to hear an hour long lecture about how nosy I am, or how I should just calm down and how overwhelming I'm being to her. Most of the time I have restraint when it comes to talking to her about things like that, but out of nowhere I opened my mouth uncontrollably and began speaking, asking her the question that I always dreaded to ask. "Hey mom, when is dad coming home, have you heard anything from him yet?" At first there was silence between us, I don't know why but I figured silence meant a hopeful answer, but no, she sighed at me in response.

I could tell the tired-calming look on her face was turning into a more angry face. It took her a moment to catch herself and calm down. "He's still on vacation Cecily," she said in a cold tone, "So no, I haven't heard anything from him." I tried hinting to her that I wanted her to continue, I saw her look at me in the corner of her eye, but she ignored me and focused back on the road. The feeling that something bad happened to him was killing me. Just as soon as I was recollecting my thoughts, the car stopped and I was at my "beautiful and hopeful" school. Before I got out of the car, we said our goodbyes. I headed to the two large rusted front doors of my dreaded school. I'm of course not the only student that hates this school. The principal, students of course, and even the teachers that were hired hate it here. They always tell us students that this place was their last resort for their dream career. I never thought about being a teacher for my dream career, it just seems too boring and like too much work.

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It was now the fourth period. I was sitting in my most boring class, geometry. I heard footsteps in the hallway and looked out to see my best friend, Ansley. She walked a little bit closer and began making faces at me, trying to make me laugh. I held in my laughter as best as I could. Eventually, she stopped and began waving me over to come out in the hallway with her, and of course I took the offer, but the hardest part was the process of getting out of the classroom before being marked down as present, and of course, being caught sneaking out. I looked over quickly at my geometry teacher to see if he was still taking attendance, which he was. "Perfect", I thought to myself. Students watched, as they saw Ansley down the hallway and me preparing to sneak out. They didn't really care, I'm known for doing stuff like this at school so It's pretty natural for me to do this. I had some people that I talked to from time to time in class. They're usually the same people that cover for me when I do my usual troubles.

I began focusing on nothing but time, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, like in dramatic action movies when the person is dodging something they almost get caught on, if you know what I mean. I focused on everything, the teacher passing by each student, the time, and I was mainly thinking deeply of the correct opportunity to sneak away. Finally, a small brown haired girl helped me and gave me the okay to leave, she seemed like an okay person if you judged her by her looks. I took the signal she gave me and left as quickly as I could. When I made it out of the classroom, my vision went back to normal, I relaxed and looked around the hallway for my best friend that was no longer there waiting for me. I looked one more time before heading to the hideout we stay at from time to time. The hideout was a little distance away from the school so I would run, walk to catch my breath, then run again and repeat that cycle. I ran across the abandoned highway, to the ocean, and began climbing up the old bridge that was attached to the highway. Yes, this is our hideout, an old abandoned bridge on a highway connecting to some other city I've never been to. Ansley and I found this place with our friends Abby and Lynn. We were watching the news randomly when we all woke up one morning. The news reporter was talking about a run down bridge highway that everyone was warned not to go in. Of course we didn't listen. The more the reporter said about it, made us want to go even more. "We've been looking for a good place to stay and hang out" Ansley said and we all three looked at each other, "And a place to get out of our heads too." Lynn added on. "Should we go check it out guys?" I asked, we all three shot up from our spots on the couch at the same time. "Yes!" The three yelled in response.

I smiled at that memory. It was like no matter what, any memory of Abby, Lynn, or Ansley, always ceased to make me feel whole. They were everything I had to live for, and my mom of course, even though we have our differences occasionally. I was suddenly interrupted when I was hit directly in the head with a rock. I wasn't too alarmed by it, I already figured it was Ansley, well mentally I knew it was Ansley, but physically, I punched her. "Cecily! Jeez I'm sorry!" She said as she laughed at my reaction. Once our huge laughing fit was over, we decided to head to the top of the bridge, that's usually where we all three go for our hideout. When it comes to climbing to the top of the bridge, it almost feels like parkour. I act like I'm in some video game or action movie when I do it. It sounds scary, but it's fun. Once we made it to the top, we stared and enjoyed the nice, Michigan, afternoon sky. The semi-fall and spring air and humidity hit us perfectly from where we sat. The Blue Water Bridge is where our hideout is. I always think of how much of a shame it is that this highway and city was just left abandoned, but I guess things just happen.

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We sat there for a while, talking, laughing, just messing around. After a little bit of silence, it was time to head home. It was a usual routine when we skipped school so we knew what we had to do to get by correctly. Ansley climbed down first, and I was next. When I managed to get off the big abandoned bridge, I saw Ansley looking curiously at the old town that used to glow so bright at night. That's all I thought of every time I saw the old rusted looking town. I used to have dreams of what it looked like when I was a kid. Mom and dad never took me around that part, because apparently it was too dangerous for a child like me. "Ansley." I said loudly, she was zoned out, it happens often. I tapped her on the shoulder a few times, which brought her back to the real world. "Have you ever thought of what went on in that city?" she asked. "Yeah, but isn't that where all those murders took place a long time ago?" I asked with concern, I never feared much, but the sound of death has always scared me. I know death comes to everyone but I've always been on edge when people bring it up. "Calm down Cecily, there hasn't been a murder there in years. I mean come on, our parents weren't even born when the killer was found." "Yeah, I guess you're right, come on, let's get home before we run out of time to catch up to the bus." I said and started walking away, Ansley soon followed after me.

The abandoned city isn't the only place people are restricted from, there is also a small neighborhood next to mine that is restricted too. "Do you think we'll ever build up the courage to go to that neighborhood," Ansley asked me with her normal adventurous look on her face. "Sure we can, maybe sometime soon, I mean it isn't as intimidating as the big abandoned city we chill next to everyday." I said with a small chuckle. "That's true," she laughed, "maybe next time we come, we can bring Abby and Lynn too!" "Of course!" I said back, bringing a big smile on both of our faces. With a little bit of chatting and a little bit of silence, I realized that I have never imagined a world without my best friends in it. The thought of that never crossed my mind

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Me and Ansley successfully covered up our tracks of skipping school by acting as if we got off the bus with everyone else. We both said our goodbyes and walked our separate ways home. I walked through the door of my house and felt everything change from outside, to indoors. The temperature was warmer, and the smell of my house was different. Of course it was different from outside but it was different from the usual smell, it was rich almost. It was freshly made food. "Mom made food?" I thought to myself, "She never makes food." That was true, mom never made food, if she did, it was on special occasions.

I walked inside, through the living room and to the kitchen to greet her, but I was stopped in my tracks when I saw another person standing next to her, laughing along with her as she set the table. He wasn't family, not a friend, I had never seen him before. I stood there as if the earth and time was still for a moment. Mom soon turned around and noticed me standing there, "Cecily, welcome home! I'd like you to meet Haden, this is the guy I've been seeing." She told me as if I knew she's been going around, talking to other guys. I was furious, but mostly, confused. I was curious as to why she was with another guy when we still didn't know anything about dad coming back, or if he was coming back. I was also curious to know how long she's been seeing this guy, because she made it seem like he's been around for a while. I moved my head to look at my mom's new love interest.

Haden, he had black hair, green eyes, and a buttoned up flannel. He had the same hair color and eyes as mom, to be honest, it kind of weirded me out. Before I could voice any type of question or opinion I had in my head, she hit me with the usual question, "Why does the school keep calling me and saying you haven't been at school?" It was obvious she knew what I was doing, but I never had the heart to tell her the truth. I already know the trouble I cause at home and outside of school, and I'm aware of my actions, so why should I have to admit to her and listen to an hour long lecture?

When mom asked me that question, I could tell she was trying to hide her fury she had burning deep inside her. "If she wanted to cover up her anger, then why ask in the first place?!" I thought to myself. I didn't even bother to think of a response, I was furious, all I could think about was how dad would feel, right now, if he was here in this situation. The anger and fury we both shared only made me even angrier, without a thought in my head, or even a breath, I just let it out, "I skipped, I've been skipping! I would say I'm sorry but I can't help that not one part of my body feels bad for any of my actions. Why are you bringing this up anyways?! I could ask you some questions too mom, for instance, why are you with this guy?! You shouldn't be, you're supposed to be with da-" Before I could finish speaking, mom cut me off, "Your father is dead Cecily! Can't you open your eyes and realize that?! It doesn't matter anyways, he chose his work over us and he was never good to me!" "What the fuck mother!" I yelled, there was no point in hiding my anger.

I was infuriated and the fact that she decided to bring all of this up now, when someone else was here, instead of later and we could have talked one on one, just pissed me off beyond belief. On another note, dad was very good to mom, and me, I couldn't believe she would stoop so low and say something so untrue like that. I thought about what my last words could be to finish this argument, I also wanted to show Haden how much of a liar my mom can be. "Dad always treated you right. You just never saw it!" Tears started swelling up in my eyes, "You always treated him badly, and you never knew when to stop. You made him hate this house, this town, city, and even the fucking state!" Mom just stared at me with nothing, just a cold expression. I turned my head to look at Haden. "You will never mean anything to me, ever. You're just here to be my mom's toy." I looked back at mom and walked upstairs to my room. When I got in there I closed the door and locked it. I stood in the middle of the room, keeping heavy deep breaths to keep myself calm. I couldn't contain myself any longer and began ripping the nice family photos off my walls. Then, I grabbed my lamp from my desk and threw it, shattering glass of all shapes and sizes on the floor. To keep anyone and everyone out, I barricaded my door with my dresser. I grabbed a few small things that I would need and walked to the bridge, I needed to clear my thoughts.

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A week had passed since then. I told Ansley, Abby and Lynn what had happened, but I isolated myself a lot between then and now. I was back to my normal self though. Ansley was telling me about how she went into the small-old neighborhood we talked about going into with Abby and Lynn. I didn't mind much, until she told me she didn't tell them about it and went in herself. "You what?!" I whispered loudly in shock. The whole class turned to look at me, then looked back towards the teacher when he cleared his throat. "I know, I know, it was a crazy idea...but I was getting impatient and needed to know what was there, don't worry it was nothing interesting. It was all pretty boring actually." "Well at least you didn't have too much fun without your friends." I said and she just rolled her eyes and slightly laughed at my sarcasm. "Ansley Park, report to the office, you are leaving." the office announcer said over the intercom. Ansley and I gave each other a confused look. "Well, see you later at the hideout I guess." Ansley said. I nodded my head to her and she grabbed her things and left the class.

Class was now over, and when I stood up to leave I noticed Ansley's phone was still on her desk. I picked it up so I could give it to her after school was over, but when I picked up the phone, a bunch of missed calls and messages popped up from her parents. I wasn't going to pay any mind to it, because her parents are that worrisome type, but I couldn't help but skim through and see how serious the situation was. "Why aren't you answering your phone, and why are you excused from school today? Answer me back as soon as possible please!" Her mom texted. Then her dad messaged, "Ansley we didn't call you out, are you still there, please respond as soon as you can." Another message from her dad appeared, "I just talked to your aunt and grandma, neither of them called you out either, just come straight home please." I stood there frozen, the bell rang for the next class to start, but I just stood there, I couldn't move. Everything went dark, blank, someone took Ansley, one of the only things keeping me sane was now gone, and no one could do anything about it. Before I freaked out and got even more worried, I unlocked her phone and checked to see if she had some guy she liked signed her out, but there was no recent text of anything like that. That left me no choice but to start panicking. I was so zoned out, I didn't even realize Mr. Shan tried to talk to me, he was constantly saying my name and putting his hand on my shoulder. "Is everything alright Cecily?" He asked, I wanted to answer, but couldn't. My hearing was blurred as much as my thoughts and vision. I wasn't thinking straight, I mostly wasn't thinking at all.

Before I knew it, I was gone, out of the classroom, then out into the hallway, and finally, outside. Mr. Shan followed, and when I stopped, he ran towards me to catch up. "Ms. Alexander, what's wrong, do I need to call your parents to come pick you up?!" He sounded panicked, or worried. I couldn't tell which one, I was barely listening to him as it is. "No.....no...I....." I couldn't speak, nothing would come out of my mouth, I was in utter shock. I was lost with too many things going on in my head. The feeling of the beautiful Michigan sky turned black, all green in the world was gone. One of the closest people to me is now gone, I will never get to hear another laugh from her, or even see her face. Even worse, I will never know if she is okay. Without words, I shoved the phone in Mr. Shan's hands and began walking. He was confused when he looked at first, but the pieces built together and he understood what had happened. When I walked, I had no idea where I was going, I just let my body take over and lead me somewhere. Horrific thoughts came to my head, thoughts I would only see as nightmares, never a reality. I wanted to cry, very badly, but nothing would come out. This was the becoming of who I am, the beginning of how my life changed. For the good, and bad. Everything from here on out was nothing but a living hell for me.