An Elf!?

"E E-lf"

Oh my god, she looks exactly like how I imagined an elf would look like. Damn, I can't believe I'll get a chance to see an elf in this lifetime. And she's just using leaves to cover the most important parts of her body, I can even see her white hair down there. Do all elves have white hair?

"Dear? Are you still not feeling well?"

F*ck she's talking to me. And she's calling me dear, do elves call each other dear or something? Come to think of it, how can I understand her? Based on what I read in books, elven language is different from humans' same with other species.

Anyway I don't care how she knows it, the most important thing right now is to know how I got here.

"Yes dear, although my stomach still hurts a little. Do you mind giving me some water?"

"All right, just stay there and let me get it for you"

As she turned around Lawrence could not help but ogle at her body.

*boink*

*boink*

*boink*

Damn, her butt and her tits jingle those damn leaves barely cover anything. Not that I'm complaining course hihi

Ugh, I feel like my throat is burning. Is it because I didn't speak during the time I was passed out? I feel like there are so many wrong things with my body, is this even my body?

As Lawrence stood up he noticed something that greatly astonished him

"huh!?" what the hell!? my hair is white!? And my hair is as long as a woman working at the red light district

I mean it reaches until the elbows. Was I out for decades? Aura users only show signs of ageing when we reach 70 and it's still quite young considering aura users live up to 120 years. I am only 40 for f*ck sake, how did I become so old.

F*ck did some bastards did something to me while I was out? I need to talk to that elf to know what the hell happened to me.

"Dear I'm back, here's your water"

"Welcome back dear" Fake it till you make it "Thankyou for the water"

Hm, elves use a palm-sized leaf as a cup for water huh? Interesting. I wonder what else is different between elves and humans. And why does this water look so cloudy?

"Dear may I ask why this water looks cloudy? And it tastes and smells like a mixture of different herbs" Ugh it tastes awful

"what's wrong dear? I checked it before giving it to you, it's the usual medicinal herb you receive daily from Aunty Amelia"

Aunty Amelia? I do not know any Amelia. Now that she mentioned it, I am hearing quite a lot of different voices coming from outside, we must be inside a village. Is Aunt Amelia a local from this village?

"Aa yeah I remember now, It's been a while since I last saw her" f*ck I don't even know what she looks like.

"what do you mean dear, you saw her yesterday. For the past 20 years, you have been receiving medicinal herbs for the elven men daily yourself, except today. She only made an exception because you got poisoned yesterday."

"Poisoned?, 20 years?" wasn't I injured while fighting against the demon lord's army? Did I drink too much beer yesterday that I started forgetting things?

"What's wrong dear? Have you forgotten that you ate that colourful mushroom? I already told you that it might be poisonous, now look what happened to you"

"I - I see" Ugh my head hurts, did I eat something like that yesterday? Did I become senile, why the hell would I eat a colourful mushroom?

"Anyway dear it's getting dark, let me bring out the moon crystal"

Moon crystal? It must be what they use as a source of light during the night. Back in the city we still use lanterns and candles. Maybe if I can manage to bring some of it back to the city, I will be able to sell it for a high price.

Elf, 20 years, poisoned by a colourful mushroom, so it means I'm about 60 years old now. Is that why my hair is white, did the poison from the mushroom speed up my ageing? It hurts just thinking about all of this. Was I here for 20 years? And what happened to the expedition against the demon lord's army at the dead lands.

I feel like I missed out on a lot of things, it feels like just yesterday I was fighting for my life against the demons and now I'm a weak white-haired old grandpa. Well, at least it seems like I found myself a wife

"Wait! Was that my reflection? let me barrow that crystal"

"what's wrong? Here"

"wha, who, how!? How did I become an elf!?"

"What's wrong dear? Is the poison from the mushroom still affecting you? You have always been an elf, everyone in this village is"

"huh!? I'm an elf!?"