1 02.01.2023

Not even one day has passed since the beginning of the new year and the thoughts about me wanting to die have started again, sole thanks to my sister though. I don't even feel like coming home these days, or should I say 'house'?

Why didn't I really die off somewhere in the road. I got saved from one accident today, to be specific. Just when I had reached home and opened the door, I saw the face which I didn't wanted to see- the face of my sister's ex-boyfriend who had now become her 'current boyfriend' though.

Sometimes I think that I should ask for 'cheating tips' from him, given how much of a big player he is. He left my sister for another girl, but then he once again came back to her and my sister forgave him- man, she deserves better! She doesn't deserves a jerk like him!

But who will make her understand this? I've stopped to put any sort of efforts to be honest. Since class 9, I tried hard upto class 10, but the only conclusion which came was the fight between us sisters with both of us sleeping at night while crying.

Here I am, sitting inside this room, locking myself in, since they have locked the room inside which they are sitting. I don't even feel like thinking anything these days. I haven't eaten my tiffin yet and I lied to my friends that I had brought no tiffin. It's just that I didn't have an appetite- I don't have one now though, but I gotta stuff all of it inside my mouth.

I am feeling lonely once again... when the hell will I die God? When will that day actually come?