Chapter 16: Get escorted out

Rias felt incredibly awkward as she and Akeno head to the dining hall of the Gremory estate in Rating Game grounds for the breakfast, hopefully for the last time for a good while as she and the rest of her… the rest of Issei's Peerage would be moving back to the human world later that day.

Apparently Lady Phenix had something she wanted to say to her new adopted son's Peerage, and had sent similar letters she had sent to Rias to other members of the Peerage as well, albeit without the whole 'threatening to come and make sure Rias and Issei had their first time' bit.

Rias was still blushing to her ears as she sat down on a seat flanking the dinner table, roughly at the middle as was expected of her, and started to gorge on bacon, eggs and grilled bread before anyone could talk to her, or even mention something about last night to her, or…

"Did you sleep well, Rias?" Issei's voice was genuinely concerned, making it much, much worse. The boy was sitting next to Lady Phenix, who was in turn sitting at one end of the table, while Sirzechs was sitting on the other, as was customary.

However, instead of having Grayfia and Beelzebub beside him, Sirzechs now had his Knight and his Bishop, namely Souji Okita and MacGregor Mathers, a hakama-and-kimono wearing eastern-looking easygoing man, and a red half-priest-robe-half-trench-coat wearing creepy guy, respectively.

It seemed that Asia was taking the red-clad creep priest's choice of outfit personally and was occasionally glaring at him, archiving approximately the effect of a cute kitten trying to scowl at and frighten a sleeping lion who had rolled on its back and was pawing the air in its sleep.

Grayfia was standing slightly behind and beside Sirzechs, seemingly embracing her 'maid' persona.

Rias groaned as she felt another headache-inducing day coming.

She could feel it in her stomach, gnawing at her bones, almost as if the 'Supreme Being' who was Underworld's current enemy number one was whispering to her ear and saying 'I'm going to take this peaceful scene and turn it into a scene out of a horror movie at some point during the day'.

"...I did sleep well, everything was just perfect." Rias finally grumbled and answered Issei's question. Then returned to stuffing bacon to her mouth with vengeance.

"..." It seemed that approximately half of Issei's Peerage were looking at the boy with sympathy or pity in their gazes after hearing Rias's words, causing Issei to groan and start poking his breakfast experimentally, almost as if he expected it to come alive and try to eat him.

"Well then, it looks like I'll have to teach Issei-boyo how to make love to a girl." Souji commented while picking at his teeth with a toothpick he had made by slicing a chopstick into neat long sticks, the draw of the blade having been so fast it couldn't be followed with naked eye and the blade had returned to its sheath at the same speed. "Cant have the reigning Maou's sister tell the press that she was left unsatisfied by her new husband, imagine the amount of gossip and outrage that would follow! Phenix family's pride and street cred would be left in ruins!"

The priest-outfit wearing man choked on his breakfast as Grayfia directed a gaze at the easygoing katana-wielder, while Sirzechs was visibly trying to not react to the sweat that had suddenly collected on the Maou's brow and was dripping down his face.

"...Perhaps I'll have to prevent this occasion from happening by removing the harmful tools from the teacher's possession?" Grayfia seemed to mutter to empty air, but the aura she was starting to emit definitely reached the easygoing man who just sighed and brought another piece of ham to his mouth.

"Fine, fine… Grayfia-chan is angry again…" Souji grumbled and returned his attention to food. "You'll get wrinkles if you frown too much."

"...Well then, Issei-kun, this is Souji, and this is Mathers, a Knight and Bishop of my Peerage." Sirzechs tried to steer the conversation to a more sensible and safer direction. "I merely wished to introduce you three, in case you ran across each other in the near future."

"That's… oddly specific?" Issei seemed suspicious but nonetheless nodded at the two men. "Souji-sama, Mathers-sama."

"Ah, just call me Souji-kun, Issei-kun!" Souji seemed to wave off the honorifics. "Do that and we'll get along just fine."

"Very well, Souji-kun." Issei bowed his head politely.

"Tch, even with that you managed to make it sound official…" Souji spat out the sliced chopstick from his mouth, spearing a piece of bacon with the projectile and reaching to grab it so it could be used as a makeshift fork. "Were you born with that stick up your ass or did you just recently discover that it was there?"

"Regardless, if I may, I was planning on going through today's schedule." Lady Phenix coughed slightly to quiet the occupants of the room. "Firstly, I have the matter of acquiring a property where Issei Phenix and his Peerage lodge during their remaining time in Kuoh academy. My scouts have found a place, and I will be in the human world to finalize the deal today. Alone and unguarded."

Rias frowned at the latter part of the speech. 'What was that?'

"Meanwhile Issei's Peerage escorts my daughter and takes her to shop in the Underworld's capital, and Issei's Peerage will also use this chance to acquire essentials as well as reagents you might need from Underworld during your time in Kuoh. I've taken the liberty of opening an account for Issei, alongside transferring funds that should cover what you need." Lady Phenix continued. "Sirzechs-sama will be in here, catching up with his Peerage who he hasn't seen for a long time."

'Okay, and now I'm suspicious.' Rias felt the nagging feeling of the 'Supreme Being' whispering to her again that at the end of the day only a sea of dead and living dead will remain.

"After I have acquired the property, I will have my servants gather the belongings of Issei's Peerage and transfer them over. All of you will live in his house from here onwards." Lady Phenix continued, and then pressed onwards as some of the Peerage members tried to object. "It would bring shame to the Phenix family if one's Peerage couldn't even bear to sleep under the same roof as their King. Not to mention how the recent attacks on Issei's life have proven that this 'Supreme Being' can strike at any time, so if Issei's Peerage is scattered in the different parts of the city, there's no way they can get to him in time should another attack occur. This is non-negotiable."

"In addition, there will be consequences if miss Akeno cuckolds my adopted son for one more time, even if she is part of his Peerage!" Lady Phenix finished the speech with a devastating blow, slamming her hand against the table, and causing the raven-haired girl beside Rias to slam her head against the table as well. "Issei has assured me that he understands where Akeno-san is coming from, and has pleaded on her behalf, and therefore I shall do nothing for now, despite him getting cucked on his own wedding night, and even in his own bed! I shall not have my family's reputation stained by something like this!"

"...Maybe I should have added a clause where you can't attempt to murder Akeno through a public humiliation…" Issei muttered under his breath as Akeno struggled to breathe through the amount of bacon she had inhaled accidentally. "Or me, for that matter."

A crash could be heard in the dining room as Souji tipped over on the chair he had been precariously sitting on and landed on the floor, laughing like a maniac.

Sirzechs looked completely breathless, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water while staring at Rias and Akeno. 'No, brother, don't… I didn't do it…'

Issei's Peerage were more or less made of stone after the announcement, uncertain on how to react to the news.

Grayfia looked at Rias with pity and disappointment in her eyes, and under them, was a look of incredibly subtle encouragement for rebelling against the marriage contract.

"It wasn't like that…" 'No, Grayfia-nee, that wasn't my intention, don't look at me like that…' Rias pleaded silently, but she was alone in her delusions. 'My reputation is… gone. My life is over…'

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Momonga poked at Rias's cheek, confirming that the girl still had a pulse and her skin was warm, which indicated that she was, in fact, alive.

He felt the need to make sure as the girl was shambling forward like a zombie, her eyes lifeless and face void of emotions, while even her colours seemed to fade away.

'Hm, a eight points out of ten as far as zombie impressions go. A bit of gore and occasional groans, and it'd be ten out of ten.' Momonga nodded appreciatively to the girl. He didn't summon zombies often, mostly due to them being absolutely useless except as reagents to combo bigger spells, or as very temporary distractions to sensing abilities. Nonetheless it was still nice to meet someone who could pull the impression so accurately.

The Peerage, plus Ravel Phenix, was walking through a suspiciously empty street in what he had been told was the Underworld's capital. Shops and stalls lined the streets with vendors eyeing them with varying degrees of wariness, making Momonga's paranoia run on overdrive. 'Normally there'd be a hustle and bustle of shoppers, constant murmur of talking and occasional shouts… it's eerie how quiet it is. It's almost as if I was walking into an ambush... '

Of course, Momonga had considered the possibility far before he had even 'woken up' from his slumber in Akeno's bedroom, and had taken appropriate preparations by casting [Body of Effulgent Beryl] and [Body of Effulgent Ruby] on himself, something which had almost become a habit that that point. The buffs lasted roughly four hours so it wasn't a permanent solution, but at least he would have protection from getting one-shot for a time if his enemies learned of his major weaknesses and tried to cheap shot him.

Granted, he wasn't exactly sure who his enemies were, but it was better to be prepared than be taken off guard. Momonga figured that there was only a fairly small chance that Lucifer or Beelzebub were trying to lead him into a ambush and have him killed, specifically when he had Rias within hostage taking range, and he had much the same opinion towards Lady Phenix, since Ravel was within hostage range as well.

Therefore, his enemy was unknown entity who was able to clear the busy street of shoppers, meaning they likely had a lot of power in the local government, or perhaps local underground. Either option made Momonga incredibly wary.

"Oh, look, that's so cute!" Asia seemed to be excited to be shopping, completely ignorant of the internal emergency strategy meeting going inside Momonga's head. The girl had, after a long persuasion attempt, discarded her nearly destroyed nun's clothes and was wearing a casual light peach dress, looking every bit a normal early teen girl, running around looking at 'cute' plushies that were arranged on one of the shop's windows nearby.

Momonga couldn't really find the cute aspect of the fuzzy animal plushies, neither did Suzuki Satorou, but both blamed their backstories and moved on after impulse buying a plushy bear for the girl and a plushy lion for Koneko who took the gift begrudgingly, all the while looking at the gift as it it'd grow real teeth and claws before trying to eat her.

Asia had no such reservations, specifically when he let the two girls have a dessert in a coffee shop. Asia was eating ice-cream, berries and waffles, while Koneko was visibly struggling trying to keep herself from falling into temptation and accepting something Momonga had offered. The rest of the Peerage let the two girls have their moment and moved towards the shops, letting them know where they'd be so the nun and cat-girl could catch up to them after they were done eating.

"My, I didn't take you for the fatherly sort." Yubelluna noted from the side, causing Momonga to glance at the girl who was wearing a bit more conservative violet dress than the outrageous one she had been wearing before, complete with similarly coloured wide-brimmed ladies fedora-hat that was tilted to the side, complete with a exotic looking feather in its band. "If I hadn't been told as much by your ex-King, I'd have thought you had a family and children of your own, by the way you treated those two as if they were your daughters. Well, outside your recent engagement with Lady Rias anyway."

"Well…" Momonga wasn't exactly sure how to answer. Suzuki Satorou hadn't become a father so he couldn't call his actions 'father instinct', and wasn't entirely sure if he could call his behaviour around the younger girl as 'big brother instinct' either as he hadn't had any siblings. '...Now that I think about it, most of my social interactions back then had been just between work colleagues and customers. I guess it gave me an idea how to act professionally and how to appease someone… or was it because of Ainz Ooal Gown? DDVR interactions between people are social interactions too, right? I wasn't a hermit, I was a gamer, right?'

"Ara, don't tell me your amnesia caused you to grow twenty years older mentally?" Akeno noted from the side, the girl wearing a cream white dress that somehow looked incredibly inappropriate when combined with the girl's gravity defying bust. "Should I call you 'daddy' from now on, Issei-kun?"

Momonga felt his cosmetic body blush while the raven-haired girl chuckled.

"Ufufufu, don't worry too much, there are a lot of girls who are into that." Akeno finally noted after getting her chuckles under control.

"I'm uncertain if I should concern myself with that, after all, I am married already." Momonga bowed his head slightly at Akeno, causing the girl to let out a 'tsk'.

"New Issei is no fun." Akeno sighed and strutted off, taking Rias's hand and leading the unresponsive red-head towards what looked like a clothing store. A second glance showed that the store catered to girls exclusively, mostly because it only sold undergarments.

"Haah… Oh well. Is there anything you'd like to pick up, Ravel-sama?" Momonga turned towards the short girl with her blonde hair arranged into neat twin drills.

"You can address me as Ravel-san, Issei-kun." Ravel pointed her finger at him. "After all, my mother has decreed you to be my adopted brother, so a degree of familiarity is in order. As to my shopping…"

She produced a list and gave it to Momonga. "Ah, alright…"

She seemed to be waiting for something and Momonga tilted his head. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go, fetch!"

'Wait, she's expecting me to do the shopping for her?' Momonga felt sweat drop down his back as he looked at the contents of the list. 'Oh you have to be kidding me. Peroroncino told me about a storyline like this in one of his eroges…'

Deciding that delegation was an important part of a leader's role, he handed the list over to Yuuto. "Yuuto-san, I have an important task for you. Please don't fail me."

The boy's eyes bulged out, as did Ravel's who tried to snatch the list back with her face red.

Before she could recover it, however, the list had already made its way into Yuuto's limp hand and Momonga had pushed the boy between him and the now-enraged blonde girl. "Listen, you two seem to be compatible, so why don't you spend some time together? Get to know each other, and so on?"

Momonga pushed a small wad of money on Yuuto's hand and then pushed him and Ravel towards the girl's underwear store, from where the first item on the list would be found.

He made his getaway quickly before either of the shocked pair could realize what had happened.

"...I have underestimated you, Issei-sama." Xuelan, the qipao -wearing Rook noted as the rest of the Peerage, namely Xuelan and Yubelluna, evacuated the danger zone that was the underwear shop. She had changed from her revealing and easily moved-in dress for more traditional ultramarine blue qipao that covered her chest and arms, but was cut high from one thigh to show her leg and thigh-high stockings. "Your boldness is matched by your cunning, even if your passion is lacking."

Momogna nodded cautiously to the compliment and did his best to ignore the last part. "Thank you. And speaking of shopping, was there something that caught your or Yubelluna's eyes?"

Yubelluna tilted her head slightly and then sighed. "I could use a new wardrobe. I lost around quarter of my old one when the estate was attacked. I had brought some of my clothes to the estate in case I needed, um, other apparel, but most of my clothes are safely in Phenix's main grounds."

The woman's face was a bit pale as she continued. "Although, I'm not exactly looking forward to shopping for a duplicate set. Nor am I looking forward to needing it. I think it'd remind me too much of R-Riser and the rest of his Peerage…"

Xuelan hugged the girl whose strength seemed to wane from the memory. "It's alright…"

'Ah, of course. She would have been Riser's girlfriend or equivalent, and if she had close bonds with the rest of her Peerage, which I'm guessing is usual, the fact most of it was wiped out would have caused psychological damage.' Momonga analyzed. 'Hm, I'll have to try to see if I can turn her loyalty towards her new Peerage, it should serve to replace the one she had lost and see if I can do something about the Riser situation… I wonder if Yuuto has a girlfriend? If I can hitch them up, it'd give her something to replace Riser with.'

Momonga shook his head mentally as he realized that iron was hot and he was holding the hammer but daydreaming instead of striking.

"We can get you a replacement wardrobe, though. Perhaps you find an opportunity to use it in the future. It may be quite arrogant for me to say this, but please know I mean no harm with my words, when I say that I doubt Riser-san would have wanted you to ruin your life by clinging to his memory and stopping to live your own lives." Momonga tread dangerous waters as he called forth his precarious knowledge of relationships as well as some lines he had overheard Touch Me use when he had sent voice messages to his wife from his in-game avatar.

...And inspiration from a soap opera he had been forced to watch as Bukubukuchagama had voice-acted a drama VN and wanted Momonga to listen through it, if only to embarrass him as she knew he wasn't one for corny voice acting and overly dramatic female lead.

"To live is to keep moving, and while we can't save everyone, sometimes not even our loved ones, they will forever live in us if we keep them in our hearts while we march forward." Momonga recounted from memory, changing the names to match the situation at hand. "...To hesitate is to die and their sacrifice to be in vain, to stop is to grow old and wallow in your loss, shaming their memory. So hold onto your hearts, be proud, and walk with me. I may not be Riser, nor the one you loved, but I shall lead you nonetheless. So walk proudly, if not for me, then for him, and for all those you have lost."

Xuelan's eyes were wide open as she stared at Momonga. The action was very much mirrored by Yubelluna.

"So, would you like to come with me and get you a new wardrobe, Yubelluna? I'm guessing you need one as well, Xuelan?" Momonga continued as it seemed neither woman would be capable of re-opening the conversation on their own.

"...I'd like that, Issei-sama. I guess there really is a bit of Riser's good side in you..." Yubelluna noded resolutely, tipping the edge of her wide violet fedora to mask her quickly wiping a tear from her eyes before it could ruin her makeup. "Xuelan-chan?"

"...Sure, Issei-sama." Xuelan seemed to break out of her stupor as well, blushing hard for some reason. Then the blush turned to a teasing smirk. "Let's… go replenish my and Yubelluna's wardrobes, then, Is~sei~sa~ma."

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'Right, I need to first ascertain the contents of my promise before I make one.'Momonga sighed as he looked at a device that was thoroughly inappropriate. And he was honestly scared to ask if it could actually be used the way it was advertised to be used. 'On other hand, I should have guessed something like this to be the case from what I've understood about Riser's personality and the relationship between him and his Peerage.'

Momonga turned his eyes away from a roughly thirty inch tall black veiny tower that seemed to pierce the heavens and looked at the two women he had accompanied into the very questionable shop to replenish their wardrobe.

Only, he didn't expect the girls to be talking about erotic cosplay suits and associated paraphernalia.

Suzuki Satorou was blushing up to his hairline while Momonga kept his fleshy eyes very strictly on the price tags of the items displayed on the shelves, worn by mannequins, and on clothing racks. 'Then again, this is the underworld, supposedly a place of vice and sin, so I shouldn't be surprised that a shop like this would just randomly be in the middle of a shopping street as if it was a ice-cream parlor.'

A small giggle escaped Xuelan as she looked at Momonga's expression, and reached to turn his head so his eyes looked at the woman who was now clad in a bunny waitress suit. "My, getting cold feet already, my~ king~"

The teasing sing-song voice was enough to cause Momonga's blood to run cold. 'Ah… if anyone finds out… No, mother, your son is not cheating on his wife on the first day of marriage after being wed…'

"It's very pretty, yes." Momonga fell to his usual platter of platitudes as he averted his eyes slightly. "Erm, a bit on the unusual side, but I think anything would look good when worn by you, miss Xuelan."

"Flirt. Looking to cheat on your wi~fe~ already?" Xuelan leaned closer, her assets now resting against Momonga's chest, before she giggled and moved away, leaving a severely flustered Momonga to stand and look at her retreating back.

Her retreating shoulders, not her back that was swaying with clearly exaggerated movements.

Suzuki Satorou clasped his hands together mentally. 'Mother, I need your wisdom, your son is caught in a web of sin and temptation!'

His emotion suppression responded to his plea by suppressing his embarrassment and despair before it could get out of control.

Yubelluna's thoroughly inappropriate (as was expected of the shop) shiny leather outfit didn't help the matters, but at least the violet-haired woman wasn't coming over to flaunt it to Momonga like Xuelan had. 'Please, please let it be over soon…'

Momonga turned to look elsewhere as Yubelluna noticed that Momonga had been staring, and stretched herself in a way that caused all sorts of motions on certain parts of her body, as well as some particularly intriguing sights as the leather clung onto her curves for its dear life.

'Yes, let's look at something else.' Momonga could feel that his cosmetic body's face was so red that someone could put a frying pan on his temple and use it to cook dinner. Luckily emotion suppression was there to help his 'real' thoughts, but it seemed that the fleshy body didn't get itself suppressed as much as his mind did.

'...I wonder if it's because the body is technically alive, but I'm an undead wearing it like a flesh suit?' Momonga thought as emotion suppression brought his mental state back to a level of stability where he could formulate thoughts that didn't involve tight curves and soft mounds or the shame for thinking about them while married to someone else. 'Ah, well… Come to think of it, since this whole place is saturated with mana, being the Underworld, I wonder if these items possess any actual magical traits outside the physical ones? I have been neglecting my studies of the local magic and magic items long enough…'

Momonga took a look at a blue bottle of some sort of liquid and picked his first victim. '[Silent Magic: Appraisal Magic Item].'

His mouth fell open as he read the item description that had popped up in his mind, then instantly afterwards cast silent [All Appraisal Magic Item], ignoring the considerably higher mana cost it incurred.

'That… is a mana potion. A potion that restores mana. When it is consumed.'Momonga was stunned to find one here of all places. 'In YGGDRASIL one couldn't restore mana without either mana transfer from someone else or waiting the mana to regenerate, albeit some foods could buff mana regeneration rates slightly… Then again, this is a completely different world. Same rules don't apply.'

Momonga had a full list of ingredients for the potion as well as method of making it thanks to the [All Appraisal Magic Item], but he had no classes in Alchemist so he doubted he could make one by himself even if he tried.

He had already tested that class restrictions still worked, to a degree, in the new world as he had already tried to use a sword, and since he lacked any levels in Warrior class, he couldn't use bladed weapons even if he could hold them.

Momonga grabbed the bottle and marched to the counter, ignoring the curious glances Yubelluna and Xuelan sent at him.

"I'll take your entire stock of these." Momonga declared as he put the bottle down. "Also, please notify me when you gain a new shipment, and I'll buy them as well."

"Ah, [Super Tantric Energy and Libido Booster XXL], a good choice." the cashier nodded appreciatively and with zero hesitation or shame in her voice. "In addition I suggest male genital size boosters, which are often bought together with this item, although mostly by older clientele."

"..." Momonga's hand froze around the bottle, Suzuki Satorou's embarrassment warring with Momonga's rational mind telling that a stock of mana potions would be well worth the embarrassment. '...Did I just place an order for a full shipment of Underworld's equivalent of viagra?'

He sighed as he heard two women giggle uncontrollably behind him. 'Peroroncino, I know you're somehow behind all this…'

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"Oo, Issei-boyo is planning on making up for disappointing Rias-chan. Or perhaps revenge for getting cucked by Rias-chan's girlfriend." Souji Okita chuckled as he watched, or rather, spied the boy's antics in the sex shop from his vantage point in the roof of a nearby building. "He just brought enough viagra to turn his bamboo into depleted uranium while his two side-hoes are getting new cosplay outfits! You should seriously come and see this!"

"...Haah… " A deeply disturbed and resigned groan came from a hand radio that had been perched on the edge of the roof. "Souji, should I remind you that we're here to protect Issei and Ravel Phenix in case the Supreme Being attacks again?"

"Nah, I get it. And Mathers as well as Grayfia-chan went to accompany Lady Phenix if the 'Supreme Being' decides to attack her to grab another Phenix." Souji rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Sirzechs-kun. You know me. I may act cool on the outside, but I'm all business on the inside."

"Could you at least stop eating while the radio is on?"

"No, you told me to stay in contact *munch* at all times." Souji put aside a stick that until a moment before had contained a row of meatballs. "Anything on your end?"

"...Rias seems to be taking her adultery more seriously than Issei. And also it seems that Yuuto is currently trying to defend himself against Ravel's wrath, but I don't think that it'll escalate into anything we should interfere with. Asia and Koneko almost passed out from eating too much ice cream during hot weather. No sign of the undead, or of anything out of the ordinary, really." Sirzechs' voice was resigned. "I thought this would work for sure…"

"Well, at least if everything goes well then this should clear Yubelluna-chan from your suspicion that she was the spy who relayed Issei's 'status' to the 'Supreme Douche', and thus instigated the attack yesterday?" Souji rolled his eyes again. "It'd be a shame to kill someone who looks so good in a leather outfit."

"...Souji, eyes on the game."

"Trust me, my eyes are always on the game."

"Fine, if you want to play it that way...Scarlet Master to Sticky Sock, impose radio silence."

"Fine, fine, Scarlet Master, but I'm picking the nicknames for the next operation." Souji grumbled and turned the communicator from voice activation to button activation.

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"I swear, I can feel it in my bones, something is going to go terribly wrong." Rias told Akeno for the eight time in the past minute while trying out a new set of underwear that was thoroughly unsuitable for day-to-day use. "I swear, this is going way too smoothly. There's going to be an undead attack, or perhaps Serafall will ambush us and force us to call her Levi-tan, or…"

'I hope at least Issei is having fun…' Akeno sighed as she was forced to listen to Rias's nervous rambling. At least it had been amusing to see a completely flustered Yuuto getting dragged around the underwear shop by the enraged daughter of the Phenix family. The two looked almost cute, if it weren't for the fact Yuuto's eyes were practically begging for Rias or Akeno to help or that Ravel's eyes were more 'angry enraged' than 'embarrassed enraged'.

Akeno chuckled at the ear-lashing Issei would receive once the short girl would get her hands on him again.

And then the raven-haired girl sighed as she found out that her cup size had gone up again. 'Dammit, there goes my stock of bras…'

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