But… That’s My Life!

"The sucker who was duped into bringing you guys some tomatoes." Shiv replied to the rudely intoned question in an equally rude voice.

"I don't understand half of what you just said, but I believe I get the gist. Very well, follow along this way, peasant." The stuck-up man in a strange robe replied and promptly turned on his heel.

Shiv did so, a bit peeved at being called a peasant.

They walked for several minutes and entered a building covered in vines and plants of all shapes and sizes as well as colors. Inside, Shiv found himself in a greenhouse filled with an incredible variety of the strangest looking plants he'd ever seen in both of his lives.

The one that immediately grabbed his attention, however, looked almost ordinary, if not for its size. It looked like a dandelion in its white and puffy stage. It was sitting on a table with a single beam of light shining through an empty panel in the roof.

"You have a good eye, for a peasant. That plant right there is the most valuable in this entire facility. Now, don't dawdle. Come along this way." The strange man's voice was already getting on Shiv's nerves.

They entered a room that looked like a kitchen, where two more men were talking in the darkest corner of it.

Shiv lifted his bandaged hand to wave it politely, and was ignored utterly and completely. 'So they're all pricks.'

Aloud, he said: "Alright, where do you want the tomatoes? What are you planning to do with them, anyway?"

"Put them in that crate right over there. We plan to eat them." The self-proclaimed 'lightning apprentice' said derisively.

Shiv growled as he dumped the tomatoes carefully into the very large crate. When finished with his task, he was promptly told to leave.

"Actually, I have some questions about your plants, if you don't mind." Shiv said as politely as he could through grinding teeth.

"You've already been informed of our intentions for the tomatoes. What more could you possibly want?" The robed man turned to regard him with an annoyed expression.

"What kind of plant was the big fluffy one?"

"You wouldn't understand the proper name, so I won't bother telling you. It's use, however, you might be able to grasp. It has properties that are incredible enhancers of your rate of XP gain."

"Do you just ingest it to gain these effects?" Shiv asked with genuine curiosity.

"Of course not." His conversant snorted. "You feed it to your pig."

He promptly left the room, leaving Shiv to aim a tested stare at his retreating back. "Y'know, it might just be time to start destroying this world." He muttered.

"What was that, peasant? Never mind. You have completed the most important task you will ever attempt. Leave, and be happy that your purpose in this life is complete." One of the men in the dark corner finally deigned to speak to Shiv.

'Just how condescending can someone get?' Shiv wondered, truly astonished. "I'm guessing you're some kind of apprentice like that lightning dude to talk in such a high-and-mighty manner?"

"I am not at that level just yet. It will take me a few years to increase my magical power by that large of a margin."

Shiv shook his head and walked back into the room filled with strange plants, and began looking around. He spent quite a bit of time examining the plants, finding the different features they had and hypothesizing about their uses. So much so, that he didn't pay attention to the passage of time.

Night had fallen.

"Peasant! What are you doing in our laboratory?" A nasally voice made itself known in the quiet room.

"Hm? I'm examining the plants. I was curious. I'm a farmer, actually." Shiv carefully put the pot with a mass of what looked like balloons back onto the table.

"Be very careful with that plant, because you run the risk of blowing even Lighting Apprentice into smithereens should you let it come into contact with fire." The other man who had been whispering in the dark corner of the kitchen hurried over and made several micro adjustments to the plant. "Leave the premises immediately." He whined.

"Could I ask some questions about a few of the othe-" Shiv tried to speak, but was cut off.

"Absolutely not! You would fail to understand even the most basic terms I would use, if I were to explain even the most simple properties of even a basic plant like the tomatoes you brought here."

Shiv gestured at the plants surrounding him, "I'm a farmer. This is my life!"

"It is time for me and my two compatriots to be in our beds asleep. You are impeding me in my attempt to complete that goal."

"I'm gone." Shiv yelled at the man as he slammed the door. "I just wanted to learn about the weird looking plants. I mean, that's my life!" He repeated with anguish.

Suddenly, a flash of lightning struck him in the leg, sending him flying backward. His ears were ringing as he rolled around on the ground with an overwhelming, searing pain driving all logical thought from his head.

His ears cleared up enough for him to hear the nasally voice. "What was that loud noise? Another monster stray too close to our laboratory?"

"Nothing of the sort. I simply tired of looking at the trash peasant, and decided to kill him. We can get his corpse and feed it to our carnivorous little pet plant in the morning." The voice of the first man Shiv had encountered in this strange place arrogantly declared.

Shiv managed to remain completely silent until the forest, which had been silenced by the loud explosion, slowly came back to life with deafening chirping and croaking.

The noise covered the sound of his heavy gasping and groaning as he crawled toward the building again. 'I'm going to kill them.'

He reached the front door, now closed, and pulled himself up with the door handle and much grimacing. "I'm going to kill them." He whispered.

He opened the door and limped as quietly as he could to a long vine bunched up in a pot. He put one end of the vine in the pot with the plant full of bubbles, and stretched the other end all the way to the door. Then, he hobbled back into the building and grabbed the pot with the fluffy dandelion. With that completed, he knelt and set the end of the vine on fire. He stayed just long enough to make sure the fire was traveling down the vine, then limped as fast as he could away from the laboratory. Several minutes passed before he heard a loud explosion.

And he felt power filling every fiber of his being.

He sat down abruptly and let the power fill him. 'I guess those guys really were powerful.' Along with the pure power in his soul, he felt a new… ability. He picked up a stick, not sure exactly what he was doing, and focused on it. It started glowing faintly with a kaleidoscope of different colors.

He now had a glowing stick.

He knew there was something special about this stick, now. As long as he focused on it, it glowed. He sighed. 'I'll figure it out later.' For now, he was exhausted.

As had become almost a tradition, he climbed a tree and got comfortable, cuddling with his stick under the blanket. Though the task was considerably more difficult than usual, due to the broken fingers and burned thigh.

He closed his eyes, and opened them in the divine realm. Stars dotted the black expanse he was in.

"My, you're a mess," He heard a voice, but didn't see anyone as he looked around. "Don't worry, it is still me, little hero, but I am a bit busy right now so you'll have to put up with just my voice." The voice of the suited man echoed throughout the area Shiv was in, "Mmm. This tea is good. Huh? Oh, nothing. I am talking to my hero. Oh, wrong channel again. Sorry hero… not really."

"Why'd you call me here if you're not even going to pay me any attention?" Shiv whined.

He was ignored. "Now, on to it. You are finally starting to do stuff. Good job for that. I wasn't sure that I hadn't summoned an ugly log at first, for all you were doing. Anyway, I thought I should let you know that you can't count on your magic following the same path as everyone else. It is all your fault. That second truck brought you on a different highway and scrambled things up… or at least as far as you know. I for sure didn't mess anything up. Be glad you are unique. Onward for you, go destroy the world."

Shiv just stood there and absorbed the rest of the man's monologue in silence. Then, his next blink revealed the sun riding high in the sky.

'He screwed up my abilities?' Shiv sat up, still looking at the sky. "How!? Why is this happening to me?" His yells were ignored by the world.

His head dropped, and he sighed. "Gah. It's about time I head back to Blaze and Furface. They better not have burned down my farm."