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Desolate Fate

On the day he first met a cultivator, Yaan’s life was changed forever. All that he cared for was ripped away from him. He was forced into a despair-inducing situation, but he endured, he fought, he refused to give up. But why did he persevere, what drove him to go on? With nothing to return to, his hatred and rage fuelled his will to survive… But hatred begets more hatred and the flames of rage are extinguished with time. He was desperately clinging to any thread of meaning that he could find, but heated emotions do not last forever, and ambitions are rarely easily achieved. A person changes over time, often into that which they once despised… Life…is a struggle. A struggle against the world, a struggle against our own nature, and a struggle against fate. This is the tale of a lone person’s struggle through a twisted world, and his desperate attempt to resist his desolate fate.

SpicyDaoist · Fantasy
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420 Chs

Mental Battle Against Slaughter

The longer Yaan spent forcefully suppressing and stabilising the slaughterous power in his soul, the stronger the slaughter seemed to become. It had long since affected his mind. He was forced to divert a portion of his attention away from comprehending the realm boundary so that he could deal with extinguishing these blood-thirsty desires.

Even though he was pursuing the cultivation of his soul, it seemed to be his Sea of Consciousness that was benefitting the most right now.

As the slaughterous desire grew stronger and more rampant, blades of dark grey mist began exploding out from his soul once again, now implicating his body, his Vital Qi, his Dantian, and even his Sea of Consciousness in its ferocious rampage!

Yaan's body was soaked in blood. Every drop of this blood emitted a dense aura of slaughter.

He made use of his Sea of Consciousness to hastily stabilise the worsening situation, attempting to draw all of the slaughter back into his soul. His condition worsened before it got better, with the slaughter nearly damaging his Dantian and Sea of Consciousness in the process!

He had been in secluded cultivation for so long now, that at some point, the Lunar Song Tribe's Third Immortal King visited to observe his situation. After seeing the shocking state of his entire being, the immortal's eyes widened in absurdity. Even though he was an immortal, he was not entirely sure what he was looking at right now…

After watching for some time, he left, reporting this matter to the other immortals in his tribe.

No matter how poor Yaan's condition might be, those immortals could not do anything to him due to the war flower law. They decided to simply wait and see whether or not the 'Red Demon' could overcome this unknown trial of his.

As the years passed by, gradually, Yaan's condition grew more stable. His body was no longer being harmed by the slaughter, his Vital Qi was not being killed and drained, and his Dantian's walls were beginning to recover thanks to his innate vitality which had now been repaired.

Yaan managed to restrict the slaughter to his soul and his Sea of Consciousness. He prevented any slaughterous power from leaking out into his body and Dantian by sealing the excess in his Sea of Consciousness….but this was a terrifying choice to make.

Within his Sea of Consciousness…

An army of Yaan's psyche avatars battled frantically against the dark grey power of slaughter. One half of his Psyche Power was devoted to this battle within his sea of conscious, with the other half crazily trying to comprehend the realm boundary.

So long as he could comprehend the realm boundary, all of this would be over!

The battle in his Sea of Consciousness was extremely bizarre.

The Sea of Consciousness could be split into three distinct components; sentience, wisdom and knowledge.

Sentience was the strength of the mind, this manifested within the walls of the sea, holding the sea together.

Wisdom was the innate understanding of the mind, it was the background space , dark and incorporeal, but very much real. Without wisdom, there would be no space for anything else.

Knowledge was the sea of white that flowed throughout the realm. This 'sea of white' was actually a massive accumulation of minuscule white bubbles, each bubble representing an individual memory within the being's mind.

Protecting this sea of white was the most crucial aspect when fighting within the Sea of Consciousness. If this sea was damaged, Yaan's memories would be destroyed!

But how could it be so easy for an external force to wreak havoc within Yaan's own Sea of Consciousness?

Sentiences, wisdom and knowledge, all beings possessed these three components, the three components that constituted a being's overall 'intelligence'. However, within the Sea of Consciousness, a unique connection existed between the three components, a connection that resulted in the continual production of Psyche Power!

With this Psyche Power, Yaan was able to control the internal situation within his Sea of Consciousness to a near perfect degree.

The white sea of knowledge was shifted to one side of the sea, protected by a wall of Psyche Power. The psyche avatars protected the sea, but in case any rogue attacks made their way through, the wall would act as the last line of defence.

Behind that wall, there were also a number of psyche avatars hastily comprehending the realm boundary, using all of the knowledge at their disposal.

But Yaan could not just protect the sea and ignore all else. The slaughterous power was insidious, attacking anything and everything. It attacked his psyche avatars, and it attacked the walls of sentience, the strength of his mind.

He could not prevent the slaughter from attacking his sentence, after all, he was proactively dragging the excess slaughter into his Sea of Consciousness, causing it to cut through the walls of sentience in the process. This caused his strength of mind to weaken, but only temporarily.

Whenever the mind was weakened, it would inevitably grow stronger when it recovered. However, this took time…

But that time was beginning to come around.

The slaughter also attacked the fabric of this space, his wisdom.

But strangely, whenever the slaughterous power attempted to attack Yaan's wisdom, there was a unique effect.

His wisdom was damaged, as if a portion of his innate mental understanding was lost. And yet, something else was also gained.

Whenever the slaughterous power attacked the fabric of wisdom, it created a large gash, but the slaughter was then absorbed into the gash.

He began to develop a stronger understanding of slaughter.

Gradually, Yaan had developed an army of psyche avatars in this mental war of his.

There was a single general, this was the strongest psyche avatar. It was formed from one tenth of his total supply of Psyche Power.

Beneath the general, there were ten commanders, these were each one tenth as strong as the general. Each commander led 25-30 soldiers. The soldiers were the weakest level of psyche avatars which were disposable and easily replaceable.

The general, whose appearance most strongly resembled Yaan himself, stood at the back of the fray, nearest to the Psyche Power wall which protected the white sea. He wore a grave expression, watching as the commanders led their men into battle, fighting against the ever-growing tide of slaughterous power.

Within the Sea of Consciousness, the slaughterous power took on many forms. Sometimes it looked human, only with a horrendously distorted face. Other times it rushed in like a whirlwind filled with scythes, making the psyche avatars look frail as they were sliced to pieces.

But the form that worried Yaan the most, was when the slaughterous power transformed into a large face, staring down at him from afar. A callous, cold look, lingered within its abyssal grey eyes.

The general psyche avatar watched the battle go on.

His original plan was to use his Sea of Consciousness to stall for time whilst he comprehended the realm boundary, maintaining the stability of his slaughter-infused soul by combating the excess slaughter power within his Sea of Consciousness.

But how long had it been since then…?

Outside of the temple, Ga Shu continued to idly swing back and forth on the wooden chair swing. Sometimes he stared at his wife's grave with a sad smile on his face. Other times, he watched the koi fish, swimming back and forth.

These were only ordinary koi fish, they should have long since died, and yet, they were still swimming about in the pond and stream, healthily and happily.

The aura of slaughter had stopped emanating from the temple, but Ga Shu had the distinct feeling that the person within was still struggling.

"Lord…you said you would be in seclusion for a long time, but it has been almost 200 years…if not for my fortunate enlightenment, I would have long since died…

Those at the Foundation Step could live for at most 800 years, this was the absolute maximum upper limit. Truthfully, 600-700 years was far more common.

Right now, Ga Shu was 750 years old, but he felt certain that he would make it to see 800.

Ga Shu now had a head of grey hair. His hair was not ragged or unkempt, but rather, he had the appearance of an aged senior, someone who had seen through the mysteries of this world.

"I only have at most 50 years left in this world. My lord…I promised to protect you, but how can I protect you if I am dead? If you do not emerge in the next 40 years, I will make other arrangements for your protection…and I will finally step foot into Nirvana…"

Ga Shu had been sitting on this wooden swing, guarding Yaan, his benefactor, whilst watching over his wife's grave and reminiscing through their memories, for the past 150 years.

In this time, he had gained enlightenment, achieving immortal stage comprehension into the dao of life.

The dao of life was a partial-principle dao. Achieving immortal stage comprehension into this dao was a truly shocking thing, especially as a Foundation Step being. Any immortal would be shocked to learn of this, for a simple reason….

Those who comprehended the dao of life had one of the greatest success rates in overcoming Nirvana.

Back in the temple…

Yaan's condition, from the outside, looked quite ordinary.

But inside his Sea of Consciousness, a great war was underway.

As the general psyche avatar watched the ceaseless battle, the battle which seemed to never end, Yaan finally realised a few things.

Firstly, it had been far, far too long. If he continued in this manner, he would never achieve success.

Secondly, his psyche cultivation had improved by leaps and bounds. The endless fighting against the slaughterous power resulted in the continual development of his Sea of Consciousness. He was already nearing the peak of the Hundred Sage Grade Sea of Consciousness, but that was far from the end of the benefits…

Yaan had the feeling that if he could win this battle, his Sea of Consciousness would grow so much stronger.

Yaan watched as the psyche avatars slaughtered and were slaughtered. They were endlessly regenerated by his flow of Psyche Power.

At this moment, Yaan had a strange thought.

"Grey…" He muttered to himself.

It suddenly hit him.

Why was everything grey?

His mortal soul had been grey.

His soul, after absorbing the slaughter power, had turned a deeper shade of grey.

His Psyche Power was also grey.

"Why is it grey?" He mused allowed.

"From what I understand, a Spirit Soul is supposed to be white. A Primal Soul is blood red, filled with vitality. An Origin Soul encompasses all colours, it is the soul most in tune with the Heavenly Dao…"

"But the mortal soul is grey."

But was it actually grey…or was it just half-way between black and white…?

The general psyche avatar's eyes widened as Yaan came to an understanding.

The mortal soul was grey and translucent, illusory and without form, because it was neither pure nor tainted; it was an undeveloped entity.

Psyche Power was grey because it was manifested from the pure white knowledge and the pitch black wisdom, and the colourless walls of sentience. It was not grey, it was the fusion of black and white!

And slaughter…

"What truly is slaughter…?" The general psyche avatar narrowed his eyes.

Yaan made his decision quickly. Instantly, he withdrew all of his Psyche Power from the avatars which were comprehending the boundary.

"It is impossible to fully comprehend a soul cultivation boundary using psyche cultivation alone." Yaan realised. "Then instead…I will comprehend this slaughter!"

As he spoke these words, that giant face appeared in the sky of the Sea of Consciousness once again. It stared down at him with cold indifference in its eyes…

Only now, every single spec of slaughter had been retracted, absorbed into those eyes. Those eyes emitted a monstrous killing intent, a killing intent which threatened to slaughter everything beneath it.

The minor psyche avatars could not withstand this killing intent. Realising this, Yaan quickly retracted them, moving all of his Psyche Power into two places;

The wall protecting his sea of knowledge, and the general psyche avatar.

He could at most use one half of his Psyche Power to form a single psyche avatar, this was the limit of psyche cultivation.

But that didn't matter, because he truly needed to protect his memories right now.

"So you are the true face of slaughter." Yaan spoke, staring up at the giant face - the face that resembled himself - calmly.

He recognised this face now. He now understood why it made him feel so uncomfortable.

This was the same face that he took on back when he completely lost himself to slaughter. This was the monster he became back in Zong Village, when he killed those children. This was also the face that influenced him during his rampage across the 22 provinces.

The face did not speak, it simply gazed down with one emotion; killing desire.

This was slaughter in its purest form. A grey power that did not abide to either the purity of the light or the evil of the darkness.

It was just killing.

WHOOSH!

The face suddenly rushed down at an impossible speed. It was as if it had been waiting for this moment, biding its time, allowing the amount of slaughter within Yaan's mind to accumulate to such a degree that it could kill him and take his place!

The moment that Yaan retracted one half of his Psyche Power into a single entity, it acted.

Whoosh!

Yaan also moved, far away from the wall protecting his sea of knowledge. The face ignored those memories, targeting only the psyche avatar.

Yaan looked up at the face, and for the first time in the past 200 years, he smiled.

BANG!

The face collided with the psyche avatar, completely obliterating it.

The face of slaughter instantly grew stronger, absorbing every portion of the psyche avatar, weakening Yaan's Sea of Consciousness, until finally, a change occurred.

The slaughter was moved against its own accord, pushed directly into the fabric of the Sea of Consciousness, into the wisdom component!

A second psyche avatar, formed by Yaan after dispersing the wall protecting his sea of knowledge, stood above the slaughterous power with a calm expression.

The slaughter struggled, trying to kill, to slaughter, doing the only thing it knew how to do.

Yaan's final psyche avatar flew down, then sent out a punch. He channelled all of his remaining Psyche Power into this punch, using the impact to forcefully fuse the slaughter into the fabric of his Sea of Consciousness.

After putting his all into this one strike, the Psyche Power avatar dissipated into nothing.

Yaan's Psyche Power was no more. With the slaughter continually rampaging within the very fabric of his Sea of Consciousness, he could no longer generate a trace of Psyche Power! In fact, in this state, Yaan could no longer even think!

The fabric of his Sea of Consciousness was being continually destroyed by the slaughter.

But strangely, it recovered more rapidly than it was destroyed…

This was caused by the Psyche Power that he used to attack the slaughter. This portion of Psyche Power had fused into his wisdom, acting as a reinforcement to his wisdom and repairing any and all damage that it sustained!

Yaan had realised a while ago, that whenever the slaughterous power attacked the fabric of his Sea of Consciousness, the fabric was initially damaged…but it eventually gained something.

It gained an understanding of slaughter.

Wisdom was an innate, subconscious understanding. It was not the same as dao comprehension, but those with high wisdom did tend to comprehend dao with greater ease compared to others.

With no other choice available, Yaan decided to take this risk. He baited the entirety of the slaughter within his mind into attacking his psyche avatar, then used the remainder of his Psyche Power to drive it directly into the fabric of his Sea of Consciousness.

In an instant, Yaan's entire Sea of Consciousness became enveloped by slaughter. Every fibre of his being wanted to kill, to murder to slaughter, to draw blood, to…

"So this is slaughter…" Yaan slowly opened his eyes.

He opened his eyes in the physical world, for the first time since he entered seclusion 200 years ago.

His entire being was immersed in a slaughter so powerful, that he wanted to kill immediately.

But he did not.

Instead, Yaan decided to 'kill' the slaughter within him.

Years of perceiving his soul…

Years of fighting against the slaughter…

Years of comprehending the boundary, both mentally and with his unstable soul…

Finally, he understood it.

Yaan closed his eyes once again.

He re-entered his Sea of Consciousness, but this time, he did not use his Psyche Power.

A giant hand manifested, a hand so enormous, so filled with bloodthirsty and slaughterous power, that even the slaughter within him could not resist.

This was an illusion he created, based on his recent comprehension over slaughter.

He grasped the slaughterous power and ripped it out from his Sea of Consciousness, forcing it back into his soul.

Immediately, his desire to kill grew hundreds of times more prominent.

Yaan was accustomed to resisting with his mind, but when it came to his soul, he was like a new-born infant.

Regardless, he pressed on. He crushed the slaughterous power deeper into his soul, forcing it to fuse using a rather unique method…

He killed the slaughter in his soul.

Every spec of slaughter that had developed and grown within him was killed.

But when slaughter was killed, it was reborn anew…

It was reborn within Yaan's soul as his own slaughter.

Bang!

A shockwave spread out from Yaan's body, a shockwave so terrifying that it nearly killed everything within the immediate vicinity. Fortunately, Ga Shu acted in time, saving the plants, the trees, the koi fish, and of course, himself.

Finally, Yaan emerged from the temple.

In his eyes, an endless and unquenchable bloodlust could be seen. It was like looking into a reflection of his very soul.

Finally, after 200 years of seclusion, Yaan had broken through to the Vital Qi Spirit Realm!

Not only that, but he had formed a Variant Spirit Soul, a Spirit Soul infused with the essence of slaughter itself.