Wilder

My muscles screamed in protest as I dragged the dirt through the shovel and tossed it over the body. I felt like a mess and I was sure, I looked the same as how I was feeling.

Hands and knees covered in soil. A few buttons were undone at the collar, sleeves folded up to my elbows. Blood soaked into the shirt from the cut on my stomach and it was hard to figure out whether the shirt stuck to my body from sweat or blood. I needed to get rid of these clothes once I was done here and went to the motel. I couldn't walk around in these clothes and caught others attention.

The humid air did help much, putting more weight on my exertion. I grunted in frustration as I wiped the sweat from my forehead and breathe in a lungful of air.

All the physical effort straining on the wound on my stomach and it wrenched in pain. Though it was a jab from the knife and it didn't penetrate deeper into my flesh, still it hurt like hell. I brushed my fingers over the back of my head and there it was, a bump and blood clot. Another blow.

I didn't give much thought to the discomfort and the pain, which was intensifying, the more it was left unattended. I lifted the shovel and start filling the hole with dirt.

It took me another hour to properly bury the body and made a prayer for the fallen brother of my pack.

This night wasn't supposed to end like this. After months of formulating a plan, following the lead, getting information about the whereabouts of the person who was supposed to have some information that could help me to prove my innocence that I was not guilty. I was not a murderer. I failed again. The man never showed up. I was nowhere near close to solving the problem I was sucked into and forced me to escape my pack.

And here, I thought all I needed to worry about how to make that man answered my questions without having too much blood on my hands. Because at first people needed a little motivation to speak up, later they were much easier to deal with.

I didn't expect the turn of events that would quickly escalate after I left the dingy bar, waiting for that supposed man in there for almost two hours and then come face to face with a Blackprowler. A pack brother.

I was in a hurry to get away from that place. I didn't want anybody to get suspicious and alert him about my presence. So, my mind was not really in the present moment when I passed through the dark alley, all I was thinking why he didn't show up, I never gave a second glance to the man on the wall leaning beside the garbage bags and drinking from a bottle. Just another drunkard, getting wasted.

When I passed the man, then I noticed his sudden movement but before I turned around and reacted, he had already smashed the bottle over my head. I stumbled and turned around, I felt dizzy and my brain was working in a fuzzy way. I couldn't focus on the face of the man, his features seemed a little blurry and too much movement causing my brain trouble to catch up.

"Missed you. You think… you would get away. Eh! not this time. You are coming with me."

I tried to give him a punch but my aim didn't hit the mark. Gage sidestepped me easily and jabbed into my side. I groaned out and pressed my hand over the wound to stop the blood flow. I didn't want to bleed to death in this dirty alley, forever carrying the blame for the crime I didn't commit. I squeezed my eyes shut and tilted my head down and took a deep breath for the dizziness to fade away.

It didn't take long but his taunting and mocking helped to pump rage into my blood. He didn't expect me to lunge at him, grasped the hand holding knife and plunged into his heart. He perished with a shocked expression in his eyes and pain marred his features.

I heaved a sigh of relief, disappointment and regret. That it came down to this we black prowlers were at the end of double-edged swords. This is not a moment of triumph. Grief precisely. Another death. Another day I survived. How long my luck would be on my side before it ran out? I had to do something, fast before that day would catch up with me.

I quickly looked around and there was no one. I somehow managed a car and dragged the body into the trunk and took a ride to dispose of the body into the woods a few kilometres up ahead.

We, wolves, weren't unfamiliar with death and blood. But killing our own pack brothers was a curse no one risked to take. It severed the bond upon massive slaughtering and planted seeds of insanity into our minds. The connection stretched at the point of no return and forever losing the bond shared in a pack.

But it was not my choice to make. Alpha had already made the choice of destruction and we were executing it. I would never willfully attempt to murder my pack brothers but if I had to choose between them and me. I would choose them to be six feet under. The attack on my life tonight won't be the last one but before alpha made another one came after me, I needed to be swift.

Dragged the body from the dirt road and buried it up in the hill, a few meters away from the trail so there would be fewer chances of grabbing the attention of any hiker or a dog to sniff and start digging into the soil. Already my alpha was hunting me down and now, I didn't want the authorities on my back. I needed to get away from this place, my location was already compromised and I needed to find out where the man went, who I was waiting for in the bar tonight.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that how alpha found my location so fast this time. There was only one person with whom I had kept in touch all these years and knew about my whereabouts. Why would Lars betray me now all of a sudden? One thing was for sure I was on my own and I couldn't trust anyone.

I got back into the car, shut the door and bring the phone out of my pocket to call him. I leaned back on the seat, pressed his number and held it over my ear for him to pick up.

Lars picked at the first ring and before I had a chance to question him, he started talking. His casual tone gave away the playful smirk he had upon his face.

"I was expecting a call from you. Assuming Gage isn't alive if you are on the other end of the line."

I clenched my fist around the steering wheel and spitted out, "You knew…you knew he was coming for me."

"Of course, I knew."

"You bastard. You gave away my location. I would…"

"Woah…Woah…calm down, Wilder. That's not what I meant." Lars laughed out.

"What the fuck are you saying?" I gritted the words out. The activities from the evening now taking their toll on me. My stomach screeched in pain and the blow over my head, making it hard to keep my eyes open and stay conscious. And Lars had the audacity to laugh over my face as if a black brother didn't come for me tonight to kill me. He made it sound like Gage visited me to bring flowers and good wishes. I was a second away to cut the call and dumped the phone altogether and stopped contacting him from now on.

"Hey, you there?"

"You have a minute before I decide to hang up the phone."

"Okay, listen. I knew Gage was coming. When? I didn't know. To speak the truth, I didn't warn you, to give Gage a fair chance at the fight. We both owe him that much. He is not just another black brother. He is our friend."

"…whom I kill tonight."

Lars let out a sigh, "It's not your fault. You didn't have a choice. Gage put his faith on lies."

"We all have a choice, Lars. I just chose me over him."

"Just like I'm choosing you over alpha. It's a hard decision. Still, we have to do it. It's not about us anymore, Wilder. It's about Blackprowlers. Our pack. Our home. And we have to do what's right."

"I know. That's what I'm trying to do."

"Alpha is being restless. He is paranoid. You gave him a good reason to doubt. Someone in his pack leaking information to you when released the black prowler and let him escaped. 'I know you are coming,' your exact words. You said to him."

"Fuck"

"Alpha is doubting one of the black brothers is working with you this whole time. That's how you are still alive. If he starts to look into it, he doesn't have to look far. Being his right-hand man, I am at a disposal of more information than others. It's upon me to bring you to justice and I'm failing terribly at my job."

"If you want, you can still get out of this shit. You don't have to…"

"It's late for that. And I am not exactly complaining. All I'm saying even if you are not in Ravencliffe, it's still your home. You are a Blackprowler. And you'll always be. Don't forget that and don't doubt my loyalty. I have your back."

"You know…that not what I meant. It's difficult. To be on the run. I am..I trust you."

"Are you now?" Lars let out a casual light-hearted laugh and I regretted the minute I said him. He had the worst timing to jump from a serious conversation to simply being him. Even with a little effort, he could get on my nerves.

I would never admit to him that I trusted him more than my own brother and maybe he already knew. Who knows? But do I trust him fully with my own life? That was hard to tell. Being a rogue for the last couple of years, suspicion planted its root on my mind and every day it was growing and making me question more about others intentions and always thinking of the worst.

Even if Lars wanted to betray me, he could have done it years ago. The night he had helped me to escape from my pack and later when I contacted him. He could easily bring the entire force of Blackprowlers on my doorstep but he never did and it counted for something. I didn't need to get that far tonight. Now, all I needed to do was to get back to the motel and cleaned my wounds and just be thankful to the moon goddess that I survived another day.

"Did you get the info from the guy you were following for weeks?"

"No. He was never alone. Thought tonight I would get to him but somehow I was dragged into this shit."

"Hmm," I could assume how Lars might be nodding his head as if he understood.

We stayed silent for a minute. No one was saying anything as if we were processing this bulk load of information and deciding what was to do with it and where to go from here.

The silence was eating me alive, making me think, what was going on in his head. I shook my head. Now, too anxious to end the call.

"I will keep you updated."

"Watch you back."

"Always,"

I cut the call and leaned my head on the seat and let out a deep breath. The exhaustion was taking a toll on me. I felt tired and wanted to shut my eyes for a few minutes. But I knew the situation I was in, it was not safe for me to be here out in the open. After a few hours, people will be here, jogging through the trail and I didn't want to cause alarm with my presence. And I still had to ditch the car some distance away from the motel and then walked the remaining distance.

Damn.

I started the engine and put the car in drive. Too many thoughts were running inside my head, jumping from one problem to another, hard to keep track of.

I was never at peace and this never-ending torment was killing me. I didn't know even if I survived the attacks, would I be someday tempted to take my own life. Throw away this life of torture and pain forcing me to live like a rogue. Always watching my back and witnessing how every moment is snatching away a shred of my sanity and slipping me into a life of madness. Vengeful. Kill or be killed.