A Matter Related to Me

I tried rehashing the teaching's I learned from Grandma in my room by writing it down.

Our Grandmother was formerly a Miko not from the Gushiken clan but from outside Black Apple's domain.

Like Grandma, I too was born with the aptitude to become a Miko, unfortunately here, one had to be part of the Gushiken clan to study under Mikos so when Grandmother died my training ended. If I want to survive in this world I need to cultivate myself well.

I had become the character I hate the most. The spoiled sort, that would cry whenever someone wasn't giving them enough attention.

Our family was huge, and Father was an important man, Mother also worked her hardest as the wife of the eldest son.

The only people that would pay me any mind were Grandmother, brother, and sometimes Mifuyu...

One was dead and the two attended school far away.

I felt lost. Even now I was uncertain of what I should do even with my returned memories that enabled me to re-evaluate myself.

I lived in the attic of one of the round buildings on the west side of the estate, no one could understand my preference for it but I eventually had my way and decorated it to look quite modern, even though back then I hadn't recalled my memories, I was still ahead of this time.

Brother must have told Father what happened earlier today because he wordlessly poked his head into my room and for a while seemed to be watching me. I wouldn't have even noticed him if I hadn't turned around to look for something.

"L-lord Father!" I stood at once.

With his tall and burly physique, he looked sort of ridiculous standing there at my door at the bottom of the stairs. Like a giant. I had a mixture of feelings seeing him like that, it was both cute and terrifying so my emotions flickered back and forth. In the end, I could only muster a confused smile.

Father was a busy person, I don't think he had ever gone out of his way to visit me in my room before. Why? why was he here? Was it because of what I said today? Was that kid really an important person? I'm gonna get scolded, aren't I?

Whenever people entered my room for the first time, they always had a lost expression as if setting foot into a new world. Father was no exception.

"What... brings you here?"

He spoke but his eyes were wandering. "I heard you were ...unwell." Finally, he looked back to me. "Are you feeling alright?"

I blinked. If he had been wondering that he would have sent a doctor and messenger instead of coming himself. Why stress me out like this? I thought I was in trouble for a second...

I tried not to let my anxiety show.

I offered him an egg-shaped Wiccan chair to sit in and the man sat there looking around once more.

"Would you like some tea, Lord Father?"

He nodded while looking around some more.

A giant is sitting in my room... I beheld the ridiculous sight not knowing whether to laugh or feel concerned that he'll crush the chair. I really liked that chair, getting someone to craft it was difficult.

As I prepared the tea, he coughed, a cue for me to pay attention to him, or perhaps he felt awkward.

"Was there a school to your liking?"

I paused as I tried to recall it as well as the purpose of my trip, for a second I nearly forgot.

Frankly put, I was a useless daughter.

Ever since Grandmother died there was nothing for me to do aside from charming the equipment of the soldiers and sewing protective charms in the clothes of women and children alongside my Mother and Aunts.

Grandmother was a Miko that specialized in making protective charms. She passed down the charm-making to all the women in the household, but since they weren't born with the aptitude for the Miko career, it wasn't necessary for them to study the other stuff. They're competent "charm casters" and it's one of the things the Moto clan is known for.

If this were the game they'd be a huge game-changer. There were charms with different functions and forms. There were paper charms and accessory charms. Some increase the luck of a person, some absorb a lethal hit and tears, others heal you so long as you wear it. some can teleport you to a safe spot, some can deliver messages, some can bind a demon, the list is seriously endless.

If this were the game, instead of the heavens giving our clan a skill it was Grandma, she'd probably be like a special NPC you could buy skills from and the charm caster class would become something exclusive to the women of the Moto, just like how being a Miko in Black Apple was exclusive to the women of the Gushiken.

Grandma was really an amazing person, I'm grateful I was lucky enough to be born as her granddaughter in this life and not a random villager. It didn't help she also resembled my Grandmother in my past life. Ahhh, I'm beginning to miss them both. Why couldn't she have stayed alive for just a little bit longer? I would know what to do with myself here now at least. If there was any feeling I hated it was being lost. Having no guidance and no schedule... as much as school was annoying learning gave me something to distract my mind.

Crap! Father is still waiting for my answer! I've been so beside myself lately, I can't help it.

I'm sorry I couldn't make better use of myself!

"Mmm… well, I didn't find anything..."

I served the tea to Father feeling nervous all of a sudden.

I knelt before him.

"Father…" I started.

He took a sip. Good idea.

"I was thinking… perhaps it would be best for me to do some self-study on my own?"

Still holding the teacup Father studied me and blinked.

"On your own?"

"Yes, I'd like to travel the country for a bit."

"... You nearly lost your life earlier."

"And?"

"And?" Father echoed back.

I licked my lips and quickly lowered my head. Ah, I didn't mean to sass him. My parents back home have no interest in what I do whatsoever, talking like that became a habit whenever they questioned me... really, I have no excuse. Let's try to learn some manners in this life!

"As the way things stand, I will either end up dying or causing someone else to die, Father, your daughter wishes to study on her own for a bit."

Father took another sip. Refusing to look me in the eye. He studied the tea. It was a glass set I had asked one of the village artisans to make me. His name was Pei, he arrived here three years ago and I go to pester him for glass stuff ever since.

"You make tea just like Mother's." Was his response. He sighed. "I'll allow you to leave the house for a bit, but you're not allowed to wander outside the territory, you need to find yourself home every night."

So basically it was a no.

He rose to his feet.

"When you fell in the pond… there was someone that saved you from drowning, that person will be coming for their reward in a couple of days. You should prepare them something."

"Huh?"

"Your Mother is busy and you're nearing that age now, you should see to this matter yourself."

Father left without further explanation, his head vanishing as he continued downstairs and out of sight.

I blinked.

I had already seen off Mifuyu and Brother a couple of hours ago.

Brother hadn't said anything to me within that time, but he said it to Dad.

Some part of me felt so bitter about the thought of this my eyes stung with moisture.

How insignificant does he think I am if he can't even tell me a matter related to me? I mean... I know this dynamic was typical of ancient times where women were protected and sheltered like-

I exhaled. Mentally, I took a step back.

Himiko, you're a woman. Did you forgot how useless most women are in this world? How easily they die? Did you forget? Don't take it personally! You absolutely can not!

Something I easily accepted back then was now coming for my pride and self-esteem with razor sharp teeth. It was at that moment, I realized I was a hypocrite. Living in the modern world made me look down on traditional women without realizing it...

It was natural brother would see me as useless given our history.

Instead of getting salty let's fix it!