46 Sudden Return

Clusters of colour encompassed my vision like paint thoughtlessly flicked atop a canvas.

When feeling returned, my stalwart posture crumpled along with the surrounding magic; for a brief second, I sensed the tendrils of energy excuding from my fingertips—much more finely controlled than I'm capable of.

This information flooded my senses in a fraction of a second.

_What is going on?_

_That energy was cut off so fast, what was it?_

The environment grew more clear, and I flinched to the side, avoiding some dark spewing gloubule in the air.

Peculiarly, it didn't fall but instead retracted into itself.

_Dark magic..._

I looked around, taking in the finer details of the rapidly dissolving magic.

_The branches are melding seamlessly into each other and back into the ground just behind me; it's like a tree, only now its growth is reversing through time..._

My emotions suddenly caught up with me, and I frantically looked around, expanding my attention.

_Beige-red sand—rough to the touch—and a frigid cold carried by ashen light..._

_It's... the Imp enclosure?_

My muscles tensed at the slight surge in stress.

_What am I doing here?_

_I'm in my body._

_The back of Karin's home is to my side, and I'm actually sitting in a large swathe of shade caused by the practically floating land above._

_I quickly flicked over to my mana sense, but everything seems to be fine; the thread is still there... just thicker._

_Hah, I feel a little dazed—or maybe brain fog is more appropriate?_

_Ah, whatever. I need to concentrate on what's important._

Massaging my temples, I proceeded to stand and squeeze my hands tightly while rolling my shoulder.

"Talk to me!"

A sudden shout pulled my attention to the side.

_It was slightly erratic, coming from the other side of the house._

_Karin?_

"I- have things to do."

It was Alark who replied... A baffled breath of his quickly followed, almost tinging the edge of laughter somehow.

"What? We've always made time for each other, and now you... you won't tell me anything! I haven't even passed you by in the halls—we always take the same paths."

She sucked in another breath, obviously not finished.

"Do you think I'm an idiot? Have you even looked in the mirror? Both you and Syrin have been acting strang- WHY do you keep looking at the house?"

Karin moved to block Alark's view after cutting herself off, forcing him to acknowledge her away from whatever was distracting him.

_It sounds like he's not taking her seriously at all._

_Has something happened?_

Rounding the corner, I carefully peered through two opposing windows to get a vague, slightly blurred view of whatever was going on.

Karin's hands were clenched tight, and she sucked in a breath, relaxed, and again, _it's as if she's trying to speak but keeps losing the words._

_She's suspicious of 'my' behaviour..._

The image of her sitting alone on that rock popped into my head, and I looked away for a moment.

_I don't know how many small, strange things she's picked up on, but she looks a little in disarray, scrambling to piece them all together in an argument._

_There's no way Ana could imitate me, but why is Alark acting so strange..?_

My eye's narrowed in thought, and I subconsciously bit my lip at seeing Karins distress.

"Of course I don't think you're an idiot; you'd be far better at my bob than I am."

He turned away from her, a slightly pathetic look colouring his face—it seemed to only incense Karin even more.

"Don't give me that shit; I'm not going to switch to comforting you now... Stop distracting; this isn't just about you."

She inhaled a deep breath and let out a long sigh.

"I thought you trusted me with everything..."

She continued; now it was her turn to look away, pushing her emotions down and relaxing her arms to her side awkwardly.

She opened herself up to him, and Alark's aggrieved expression grew more pained, as if someone were pinching him from behind.

After a second, he finally looked up at her with a little confidence.

She met his eye with a sidelong glance.

"Then... do you not trust me enough not to tell you?"

She looked down, and her hair dangled at her side, covering her face from view.

I grimaced slightly, unsure of what to make of it all.

Conflict clear in her wavering expression, her lips parted.

_It's obvious that she knows his words feel manipulative, but how much does she trust him? I wouldn't be happy with that reply at all._

She sighed sharply, the tone... yielding, but the tension in her eyes remained, and she returned her gaze to him with greater intensity.

"It's not just about me. Are you dragging Syrin into it? She's only a child, and you don't have the right to choose for her. The way she's been acting... she's like a totally different Demon. And lessons... with Elech, and yet she's learning shadow alignment; it doesn't make any sense."

I swallowed dryly, and a coldness tickled my heart at her words.

A simmering rage built up in my stomach.

_She's so kind to me, I can't believe I didn't trust her. All I cared about was some crystal._

_I feel so torn._

_Should I choose my class now? But I need to protect Rena for a little more time—I can't say what the Angels are going to do, and I want to be as strong as possible in order to get her to safety; that body won't matter after that._

_Or am I just making excuses... I want it desperately._

_But... I do really want her to be..._

"I want her to be strong—safe enough to survive out there. I can see that desire in her eyes; it's stronger than the rest. I felt it was good that she knew to pace herself, but... but that light has been gone recently... I don't want her to lose herself, even if you think she agrees with whatever you're doing out there."

My breath caught in my throat.

_It's like she's muttering to herself, but that only makes it feel so much more honest._

_Her words pushed their way into my heart. It's so relieving after being used by everyone else._

_I want to rush over to her; forcing myself not to is sickening._

"I... It's bigger than just her life; you have to trust m-"

"Our 'trust' is not as important as her life."

Alark's face contorted; her angered words seemed to hurt him, and faint astonishment could be seen in his eyes.

His brows furrowed, and anger welled on his part.

"Since when did you care about their lives!? I thought you didn't even 'grow attached'. Does it all mean that little to you... There's more to it than trust."

_I'm not sure exactly what he's talking about, but as soon as those words left his mouth, regret grew on his face._

Karin's gaze grew sombre.

She was silent for a while, inert, before a new emotion pathed its way through that I couldn't clearly recognise from here.

Tears welled.

"Of course I care! They all look the same to you, but for so many cycles... so. many. cycles. I raise them. Watch over them."

A sob escaped her.

"And then they leave... leave without a thought, without care for their lives, seeking something greater, some kind of meaning. None stay... not them, not even..."

She stopped herself short, and Alark looked away with a hollow stare.

"Do you know why I leave?"

...

"I go to find them—to find what's left of them. Usually, only hair remains in their ashes."

I swallowed a lump in my throat and slid to the ground; _my mouth feels dry, and I haven't blinked at all during her outburst._

The door to her house suddenly slammed, and the vibration knocked my head off the wall.

Alark stepped forward, but he stopped himself, stood for a moment that felt like a while, and eventually slugged away, leaving without another word.

My emotions took over and led me to the front door of her house.

Tentatively, I cracked open the door.

"G-o away."

She was crying into her palms, sitting in the place I had slept with a red, gold-accented box at her side.

I pursed my lips and continued inside, narrowly avoiding my horn tapping the doorframe.

Because I hadn't listened, she went to stand, to leave, maybe to hide, but I rushed over and wrapped my arms around her neck before she could.

She shuddered.

_I don't think she expected it to be me._

_Her skin is so warm, and her hair is so soft—when it isn't used as a weapon, that is._

A smile crossed my face.

"I wish I had more time to climb on your shoulders."

_How much longer until I get my freedom back? It feels like it's been... many cycles?_

She whimpered slightly with a tone of embarrassment, yet she unravelled her own arms and wrapped them around me, drawing me in close to her shoulder.

_This world appears to be cruel... to everyone._

_I want to create a place where she can go to be happy, to be safe, and where she doesn't have to resign herself to fate._

_Should I get stronger to create such a place?_

Karin reached up and stroked my hair.

_It's not something I'm used to, but surprisingly, I find it quite wonderful._