Chapter 2 Part C

Zero's POV:

Day 2

I woke up so tired this morning. I let, everything that happened yesterday, stay in my mind and think so deeply about it, I didn't go to sleep. I was awake the whole night, not only because I had these thoughts but also because I was afraid he would come after me. Take me away and torture me and one thing I have learned from my parents is to never forget your enemy's face before he dies but don't ever let your guard down and what I did yesterday is unspeakable.

There was one side that told me to run away but the other to enjoy the attention he was giving me and that's how I have been stuck, since yesterday, I have been thinking about the weird feeling I had but I couldn't figure it out. It's the first time I feel something like this.

I stood up from the bed and sighed as I went towards the bathroom to take a shower.

"I have to get stronger," I said to myself. "Even if the devil is after me, I am still gonna fight!"

I thought maybe if I am gonna think positive it is all going to stop, the bad thoughts but I was wrong. Just hearing the word "Devil" made chills go down my spine and my hands shaking. I thought maybe the good thoughts are going to help me and give some hope but according to yesterday... I don't think I stand a chance against the guy. Against Lucifer.

Tell you the truth, I am scared. It isn't the first time I feel this way but it is the first time I can't get over it. The Devil made his bad impression already but now... I think that he thought that I'm going to fight him or some kind of expectation he had towards me but as soon as he took the first steps towards I froze. I don't know how to fight a monster like this... I just.. Don't know.

All these thoughts poured down to my mind as I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I sighed and walked back to my room.

I picked pair of black skinny jeans, a gray T-shirt and a red leather jacket. I took my sneakers and wore them before going out.

I don't have the feeling to train today so I woke up later than usual about 7 a.m and 30 min. to get ready then I go to school.

"Yo, Zero! How are you doing?" A voice yelled from next to me.

I tilt my head to see Drake, riding a car. A Ford. A blue Ford.

"Get in"

I nod and get in. He started driving again until he asked me a question. "There's something on your mind. You have been acting strange since yesterday after the attack. Care to tell me?"

"N-no, I am fine just thinking of other methods to get stronger... and fast."

"Do you want to speed up our training?" He asked.

I thought for a while then decided that it was a really good idea. My physic was fine but magic skills.. not something you would like to see.

"Yeah. A great idea!" I said-yelled 'cause of excitement.

"Anyways... Did you kill that bastard?"

I paused. My eyes widen and my breathing quickens. "So??" he asked, waiting for an answer.

I didn't know whether to answer it or not. Truth or False. Angry or cry. I don't know anymore. Why is it so hard to say the truth? why is so hard to lie? and what am I supposed to cry or be angry about? Or even you know what... I know the answer to those questions. Because... I am ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself for not protecting what's dear to me. Ashamed of myself for just being frozen in one place and not take any action against him. Ashamed of myself forever letting him go. Ashamed of myself for being scared.

Since the meeting yesterday I was doubting my abilities. I was doubting whether I have the strength to keep going and fighting for life and death. Doubting if I am the hunter that everyone looks up to and trusts to come to their rescue. Doubting if I am a real hunter.

Now I can see the answer clearly. I can see the whole picture. I am no hunter and I never was. I knew that there are stronger demons than myself out there and I thought that I am ready to die for protecting the humans, the people that took care of me till now but I was wrong. Again. And I can't forgive myself forever trying to be the hero I cannot be and was from the beginning.

I was a fake. I was not the real me. I was brave. I was smiling. That wasn't the real me. You know why? 'Cause I am scared. I am so scared right now I wish I wasn't born. I am so scared right now I wish that everything would just come back in time and I'll see my parents again.

"Hey," Drake said softly, patting my shoulder. "It's OK.," he said. I nod and get out of the car towards the doors.

I nodded but I know that everything is not fine! I know what my future will be like even without seeing it.

I will be consumed by the darkness of my heart and never make out the real truth. I will lose everything. I will lose everyone. But most importantly..

I will lose myself.