Four

Mariah and the rest of their friends were waiting at their usual table, a small, metal bench, shaped like a circle. It was one of four benches on a small patio outside the cafeteria. Most of their classmates seemed to have gravitated toward the roof. Kaho couldn't see Makoto, Sayuri and Hikaru, or Eiji and Yuto, Ryota's friends from the basketball team, but they were probably pestering Taiga to let them into the gym to practise while he ate lunch. 

It was a surprise to see Ryota at the table, a neon pink basketball in tow. Then again, he hadn't seen Mamoru all break, nor had he caught up with him on the way to school. He waved to her as she came over, vending machine juice box and bento in tow. 

Her friends had started their lunches already. Mamoru had speared a tempura prawn with a chopstick and was waving it around like he was conducting an orchestra. Beside him, Kikyo was eating some skinny carrot sticks from her bento, already almost empty.

"You feeling any better, Kaho?" Mariah asked. 

Kaho shrugged and opened her lunch. 

Unfortunately for Himiko, who was probably staring dismayed at her bento over at her elementary school, her grandiose banquet of food hadn't been delivered. No fillet mignon, no dauphenois potatoes, no 'Twinkies' and certainly no 'Ramune'. Instead, like Kaho predicted, there were three miniature hotdogs, cut to look like little squids, fried pineapple rings, edamame beans and two rice balls wrapped in seaweed. Kaho's stomach dropped. She wasn't hungry. Especially for that. She tentatively picked up a rice ball, the smaller of the two and nibbled on the fluffy white rice, until she met the yellow pepper and tuna centre. That would do. It wasn't spicy, or herby, it was just a mild rice ball. Perfect for an uneasy stomach. 

Kaho pushed the bento into the centre of the table. 

"Anyone want anything?" 

Mamoru reached over to Kaho's lunch with his chopsticks and retrieved an edamame bean and popped it in his mouth. Ryota took a fried pineapple ring. Kikyo lowered her head and looked longingly at the second rice ball. 

Kaho glanced from her lunch to Kikiyo. Had she lost weight over the break? Her cheeks looked sallow and her eyes had purple bags under them. She hadn't styled her hair, instead it was thrown in a ponytail that was falling down her head. 

Kaho gestured to Kikiyo to help herself. Permission. Kikiyo whispered a thank you and took the rice ball. It had been bigger than Kaho's and was probably filled with whatever discounted meat her mum had found in the supermarket, seasoned generously. Kikyo bit into the rice ball, a trickle of sticky soy sauce went down her chin. Kikiyo licked her lips and continued to eat, the smell of beef with sesame oil and crushed chillis wafted to Kaho's nose. She swallowed hard and pierced her juice box, slurping the juice Naseru had bought for her. 

Mamoru returned to his own lunch, eating another tempura prawn. Kaho's eyes flickered to Mamoru's triple-decker bento box, like a three course meal, except one layer had already been decanted. Had she missed it? 

Kikyo looked down and dabbed her chin with a napkin. Her eyes widened, gaze flickering from Mamoru to Ryota, both of whom were eating. She gingerly picked up a slice of grilled red pepper from her bento box and stuffed it in her mouth. Kaho's brows furrowed – when did Kikiyo get that?

Her eyes flickered to Mamoru, who pushed up his glasses and ate the last of his prawns, moving onto the egg noodles on the next layer of his box. The last layer of his box. 

Kaho's eyes widened. Mamoru kicked her under the table. A threat. Don't mention it, or else. She nodded and sipped on her juice box. Mariah had been talking about Niagra Falls, telling Ryota about the girl who laid on the floor and got drenched. 

"Did you make a wish?" Mamoru asked, "You're supposed to!"

Mariah sighed audibly and mimed zipping her lips. 

"What did you get up to during the break, Kikiyo?" 

She winced, finishing her mouthful, "I worked during the break." 

"For the whole break?" Ryota said, his eyes wide, "Damn, are you saving for something special?"

Kikyo nodded wordlessly, and returned to her topped-up lunch. 

"Look," Mariah said, closing the lid of her bento box, "I'll level with you all here. Did any of you get a parcel this morning?" 

Ryota nodded. Kikiyo too. Mamoru pressed his lips into a fine line. 

"I don't think it's a good idea to talk about this," Mamoru said, adjusting his glasses, "We aren't supposed to talk about this. Not with people who don't know."

Mariah shrugged, "I got a parcel, Kaho did too. Clearly you guys did, what's the problem." 

"I don't know if it was just me," Mamoru said, "But Future Me said that if there was going to be real, conscious, thoughtful change, it would be better not to talk about it." 

Kikiyo shrugged, returning to her carrot sticks, "I read ahead. I don't know if that was allowed or what, but in one of my letters, Future Me said that there's some weird convergence that connects everyone's lives and what was said in the letters. Apparently, it's January 20th 2028."

Mamoru shrugged, "Everyone's lives are interconnected by being at school, already. I don't know what your letters all said but a deadline makes it seem awfully scary."

Ryota shrugged, rummaging in his bag and producing a can of 'Pokari Sweat', contraband. He cracked the can open and tilted his neck back, draining the energy drink like his throat was a funnel. He covered his mouth and coughed, wiping his mouth on his hand, "Look, I'll level with you. It said to only talk to people with these letters, half the people in our class were reading from black envelopes during Homeroom."

"We sit at the front," Kikiyo said, "So I wouldn't know how many of the people in our class were reading letters."

"Someone is going to use this for some weird kind of power trip, right?" Mamoru said, scowling, "Instead of what they're actually here for."

"Did anyone else get like explicit instructions about what they had to stop?" Ryota asked. 

Kaho shrugged. Had they been explicit instructions? They were definitely instructions, a goal in mind, but actually achieving anything remotely like that was completely alien to her. 

"Mine mentioned the new transfer student," Kaho admitted. 

"Matsuoka?" Mariah asked. 

"Matsuoka?" Mamoru echoed, "Like Matsuoka Kathen the basketball player?" 

"That's where I've heard that name before!" Ryota said, snapping his fingers, "Mamoru, you genius! He must be related to Matsuoka Kathen, the basketball player! He said he played!" 

Mamoru laughed quietly, "It's a common enough surname, Ryota." 

Ryota wasn't listening anymore. He got to his feet and bounced his neon pink basketball, "Damn he's going to be such a good player, it's in his blood, Kaho! His blood! Taiga will shit his pants when I tell him." 

"You do that," Kaho said, rolling her eyes. 

"I'll look him up," Mamoru said, nudging Kaho's foot with his own. He was buying her silence about the lunch he'd snuck Kikiyo. Kaho nodded, accepting the deal. 

Were they dating? Was that them being a couple? Kaho and Tatsuya hadn't gone to the same school, so maybe that was normal for couples, sharing bentos and stuff. She shrugged to herself and sipped the dregs of her juice box. 

Kaho passed through the last lessons of the day in a haze. She couldn't help but stare at Naseru, she found her eyes flickering to the back of his head throughout lessons, instead of looking at the chalkboard, or listening to her teachers. Kaho sighed to herself. Naseru had been so unkind to her that morning, but then he gave her a juice box. Was this the duality of man? Or was one of them a front? 

She didn't have an answer. Even after she made it home, beating Taiga, and her mum with Himiko, and chopped vegetables for dinner. Even after making herself a mug of tea. Usually she would be out after the first day back at school, making up on lost time with Mamoru, who was never in Japan during school breaks. They always went out on his money on the first day back. She knew her mum wasn't expecting her. They'd had the same routine since her second year of middle school. But with so many teenagers having letters to sift through, Kaho was sure arcades, karaoke bars, bowling alleys, boba shops and leisure centres would be desolate that evening. Maybe tomorrow they could play catch up. But having only taken one letter to school, and not having read the whole thing from back to front at once, she was sure she'd missed information. Hell, Kaho wouldn't have put it past her to accidentally skip pages. Did Future Kaho remember it was the first day back at school today? She was tired, stressed, even. 

Kaho produced the letter again, and made a real, honest attempt to read the whole thing, and really let the information sink in: 

Dear Kaho,

If you're reading this, then you're probably wondering what's going on, where those letters came from, and what is going on. My name is Kaho too, and I'm you, but from the future, I'm from a different Dimension Of Light within the same planet. And you don't need to believe me right now, but you will. It's important that you do.

I know this sounds crazy… but I heard from someone about the possibility of these letters getting to you, soon you'll find out how this is possible, but for now, I need your help. There's this really, really special person for me that was detrimental to me and our world. His name is Naseru Matsuoka. In my timeline, I failed…

To show you that I am you I'm going to tell you things only you and me would know: Himiko sang all morning about food and drove your mum crazy, she said she wanted fillet mignon and dauphinoise potatoes, a bottle of 'Ramune' and 'Twinkies'. Your mum will buy her those in a few weeks and she'll hate them because they taste like polystyrene, but a kid can dream, can't she? 

Not good enough? After all Himiko always led with her stomach. Don't worry - you and Stupid Tamaki have been enemies since he pushed you off the swings when you were five. You threw wood chips and sand in his face. He doesn't remember why he hates you, but knows it as a truth that is as real as the air he breathes. But you remember. This morning Stupid Tamaki said that Rana would be hit by a car if you don't buy a tracker for him, and you can't shake the feeling that that stupid kid might actually be right about something. You don't have to listen to him, but listen to me when I say investing in cat trackers saves you a lot of time in the lead-up to your entrance exams next year. 

You also nearly got hit by a rude guy riding a motorcycle this morning, because Tama tried to play with Rana on the side of the road. Your cats are many things, but intelligent? Maybe not... You thought the rude guy was cute, attractive, even if he wasn't kind to you – and you feel guilty because you love Tatsuya.

Right now, in your timeline, Naseru is in danger, and you're the only one who can save him. All the letters I've sent will give you detailed instructions about what you should correct personally so that it can interconnect with the Protocol being sent to help your generation save yourselves morally, and interpersonally, and, better yet, save the planet from Nuclear disaster… letters with details on what to do. Please, Kaho, you have to help me save Naseru. That's one of the first steps."

Don't worry - there'll be many opportunities but you have to notice the opportunities. I'll do everything to remember and list the events in these letters so that you can remember and understand the patterns and the sequences ahead. 

Those sequences… those paths will determine so much for you and Naseru who will be transferring from the United States. 

If only you knew the horrors your classmates and friends would be subjected to in the polluted viciously tampered attacked sabotaged environment. Then again, maybe it's better that you don't. Because I want this you, the you I wasn't, to be able to make the changes to stop it. You won't be the only one, Kaho, who gets letters like this; it's a plan, you see? But we don't know who or what the rest of us aim to correct. To someone like Eiji, Ryota's friend, he might tell his past self to pass the basketball to someone else in the preliminary match so he doesn't get embarrassed when he misses because he thinks fixing his pride is an important step – he might not care to remember when he missed a shot after all this time. But we are all trying to keep you from making mistakes. Catastrophic mistakes. 

You've come this far, Kaho, and you're probably really confused, I would be too. This is a lot to take in, but I want to explain it to you properly – you and I coexist in parallel times, at different points, and in my world, people were selfish, and started a domino effect. Bad decisions, wrong decisions that changed our world for the worse. We are suffering through famines, illness, and loneliness where I am now. I don't want that for you, Kaho. 

When I think of you, I think of how giddy you were to go back to school, and how much you loved your boyfriend. How you thought a catastrophe was the canteen shop only having melon bread left instead of milk bread or curry buns. And how much you adore your cats. You were good. I'd like to think I'm still good, somewhere here. Which is why I want the best for you. 

We are malleable as teenagers, willing to listen, learn and change. Not always for the better either. Adults aren't. That's why I'm trusting you, Kaho, the you reading this right here and now to save Naseru and change the trajectory of the dominoes. You have to change your future.

Kaho's heart was racing, it felt like her lungs were in her throat. There was something chilling about reading everything her Future Self said in that letter from end to end. She wondered if that was why Maki had chomped on her finger with such ferocity she had been sick. 

She looked up from the stack of papers as the door opened, Himiko prancing into the living room, shoes abandoned, dancing around, "I'm going to be Class Rep and Mum's promised me 'Twinkies'!"

Kaho stifled a giggle. Himiko would not make a good diplomat, swayed by their snacks and underhanded tactics. And, on top of that, those 'Twinkies', if her Future Self was correct, were going to taste like polystyrene. 

"Kaho!" Mum said, "I didn't expect you home, are you okay?"

Kaho nodded, "Just a bit under the weather. I've chopped the vegetables for soup tonight."

"Thank you, my lovely girl," Kaho's mum said, putting her hand on her older daughter's forehead, "You're a bit red, and warm, go lie down for me, okay?"

Kaho nodded, making her way back upstairs. She found her cats asleep on her bed. Her wardrobe was still closed, the letters safely hidden. Kaho opened the wardrobe and removed the next letter. 

The next envelope had the next day's date written on it. She picked it up, her fingers tracing the sticker on the envelope. She closed her eyes, took a shaky breath, and tore it open. A singular sheet of paper fell out of the ravaged envelope, in stark contrast to her Future Self's first letter. 

With just one sentence on it: 

'It wasn't Hikaru.'