6 Individual soul

She have not felt satisfaction in her life for such a long as she can remember. She sometimes wish She could erase her memories. She cannot remember a time when she was truly happy, every single day is filled with existential dread that makes her want to throw her body off a building.

Her mind keeps twisting and turning and it makes her headache. She wish there were some pills to take that would make her mindless and able to handle life.

It keeps festering and slowly releasing that sadness back into her like some messed up pills. It is as if there is this dark lump within her chest that keeps absorbing every bit of sadness and tragedy.

The other side is pure hatred, She have felt disconnected from this world for a very long time. She find herself fantasising what it would be like to be anyone but herself.

Something is obviously very wrong with her, her memory keeps crumbling apart and even writing a coherent sentence is hard.

"She hate herself"

Everyday she dream of death, she want to die so badly but she cannot act upon that because it would damage the people around her specially her family.

She often wish that she would die in an accident so the stigma of suicide and the self-blame would not overtake her family. If she were to kill herself, they would most likely to blame themselves for not noticing or not helping.

Her head aches with all these things swirling around in there, it only barely stops for when she need to get some sleep.

She often think that death would be much like that, a warm feeling of laying down as the sun beams into the room from underneath the curtains. Then she fully woke up, her brain starts to swirl again.

Thinking of death was more of a comfort things for her. But things begin to change when this individual soul came into her life.

Does destiny play a role to meet two individual souls?

Because his presence was all that matters;

Even his silence gives her comfort

Little did she know, she's in love.

Those angel numbers that makes her happy now replaced with his number

Soon he becomes her last piece of the puzzle.

Heard million times about "butterflies in the stomach".

So she wonders if butterflies in stomach is love or apprehension

But fool for love; she disregard the apprehension and choose to love

But poor soul, the love was never in her fate !

Teary eyes full of longing, she cries every night helplessly with the fear of goodbyes

He was the healer; the healer who left her with a bigger wound.

She said

She was fine

It doesn't matter

It doesn't hurt

She smiled

She laughed

She took their pills

She did therapy

But in the end

She committed suicide !!!