The Ending of the Beginning

Alex collapsed on his knees from utter exhaustion. Whether it was mental or physical...or both, he did not care. Eve involuntarily glanced in the direction of the crumpled body of Herm and suddenly burst into quiet tears, burying her face in her hands as she dropped to the ground. Liana and Felicia, subconsciously, walked over to her and put their hands on each of her shoulders. As more of the finality of what had happened started to sink in, Liana felt tears welling up inside here eyes and she put her head on Eve's shaking shoulders to get some form of comfort. Felica was crying freely but she knew she couldn't stop and breakdown right now. Not when Eve and Liana needed her. Not when Robin needed her...not when Alex...needed her. Robin had sat down with his back against the wall in a mess of broken wood which had, until, recently, been a table. None of them spoke to each other; they were too stunned to even look at each other.

Alex felt like crying. He felt ashamed he did. But he knew that it was good that he did; it meant he hadn't taken this so harshly that he wouldn't be able to lead the group. Lead the group? Yeah...now the five truly didn't have anyone in Decimandria. It was just them against the world now. They'd have to stay strong...they'd have to stay together. He'd have to keep them together and he'd have to keep them safe. But what could he do? He was a nobody. He couldn't even protect the person who'd always praised him for saving his life when it truly mattered. Or the woman who'd taken him in like her son. Son? How could a son kill his parents like that? What was he anyway?

Alex started to feel his head spin and something clicked. He couldn't allow himself to get lost in thoughts...not right now. The other five were depending on him whether he liked it or not. Get up. Lead them. Get up!

With a burst of energy, Alex got up from his knees and looked around. He forced himself to glance over at the two lifeless bodies on the ground; something had to be done about them before anything else. And the five couldn't stay here anymore either. He had maybe realized this long ago but it hadn't sunk in yet. When it did, it was like there was a hole in his stomach. Where would they all go? I'll figure it out...I have to figure it out.

"Robin..." said Alex, softly. Robin had been staring at the floorboards but his name made him stir a bit. He looked up at Alex standing tall and somehow felt...relief. There was somebody he could rely on. "Take a shovel and start digging." continued Alex, softly. "We...we have to bury Herm and...and Lis." Robin felt a lump in his throat and forced himself to swallow. Glad to have some directive about what to do and glad to be away from eyesight, he wordlessly got up, nodded to Alex, and left through the back door.

Alex looked out of the window; the sun was coming up. How many times had he enjoyed the morning breeze here, he wondered. Taking a deep breath again, he turned to the girls and walked over to their threesome huddle. He touched Felicia's chin and made her look at him; tears were flowing down her cheek. Then he gently touched the shoulders of Eve and Liana to make them look up.

When Liana felt that familiar touch of her brother's hand on her shoulder, she felt like she could die crying again. She knew he was standing there, tall as ever, just gently nudging them along. With fresh tears forming in her eyes, she looked up at his kind face. "Pack everything up. Everything essential. As quickly as you can." Eve looked up at him, her face tear streaked. "It's fine." said Alex to her. "I'm here."

Eve suddenly felt a rush of emotion. Hate, fear, love, relief, uncertainty, all mixed in one. Crying freely again, she nodded her head. "Okay." she whispered. "Okay..." The three girls got up, a little unsteadily, and looked at Alex. He nodded his head. "Go." he said, gently. The three of them left the room leaving Alex standing there alone. He knew he could count on them and he knew he had to give them a something to focus on besides what had happened. But there was another reason he wanted them gone from this room. He was dreading the moment, but he knew he had to do it. He went to the Ferm's bedroom, pulled out their white bedsheet and blankets and carried them back over to the hall. Almost biting his tongue, he set to work at wrapping the two corpses in the sheets.

* * *

The morning sun was well up when Robin paused for a second, four feet deep inside a hole in the ground and leaned against the shovel. He looked around; he had chosen a good spot to bury the Feggs he thought. Just by Lis's garden and by their beloved field. What the fuck had happened? How had things gone to shit so much, so quickly? Robin shook his head. He couldn't focus on that right now. He couldn't let himself sink into thought again. With renewed vigor he was about to attack the ground again when he saw Alex come out of the house, his hands covered in a little blood. With a pang of pain he realized what Alex had done...and how he had done it alone. He felt graciousness towards him. He felt thankful for him. As Robin watched, Alex washed his hands in a bucket, and picked up the big, almost white rock that had been resting by the garden since they'd first come here. He surveyed the heavy stone in his hands for a second, and then carried it back inside the house. Robin felt a bit curious, but he didn't have the mental energy to care about that. Plus, whatever Alex was doing, he did for a reason.

Back in the house, Eve, Liana, and Felicia were packing up clothes and food. They didn't speak to each other because each knew they'd just burst into tears if they did. And none of them questioned the orders they'd been given. Whatever Alex did, he did for a reason.

Felica heard the sound of something being hammered and for a minuscule moment thought Herm was back to working in his workshop and this had just been a bad dream. But the moment passed and she made herself focus on folding the clothes in the chest as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

* * *

Robin heaved himself out of the hole and looked back at his handiwork. He'd dug two graves side-by-side and felt satisfied that they were each six feet. He took a deep breath again. Are we really going to bury the Ferms? Were they really dead? He shook his head. Yes...yes they were. He needed to come to terms with that. Alex shouldn't have to take the strain of being the only man out of the five. He needed to grow up too.

Speaking of...where was Alex? Robin dropped the shovel on the ground, and made his way back inside the house. As he walked inside, he saw two rolls of blankets neatly rolled up on the ground in the destroyed hall. He felt a pang of pain but somehow, miraculously, it wasn't as strong as before. Gulping, he looked around for Alex. Where could he have gone? He knew the answer even before the question had been fully formed in his mind, and he found his feet carrying him to the outdoor workshop attached to the house.

He opened the door and saw Alex sitting on the stool staring at white rock he'd picked up from the ground. Alex looked at him, and without a word, Robin told him his job had been completed. Alex nodded. Robin walked over to the stone, and looked at what Alex was staring intently at. He realized, his friend had chiseled some words on the stone:

Here lies, Herm and Lis Fegg

Father, Mother, Teacher, Guide, Friend,

Murdered in cold blood by their own son

"Let's get this over with." said Alex, getting up. "I want to put them in the ground before we call the girls." Robin agreed and both of them set about to do the morbid task. They both carried Herm's and Lis's body one at a time and, as gently as they could, and lowered them into the ground. Alex then went to fetch the girls and told Robin to bring the stone.

Eve, Liana, and Felicia were just finishing up their packing. "I...don't think there's anything left that I can think of." said Felicia speaking for the first time. A relief came over her when she did. It was freeing; to know that she was still...alive inside. "I...can't think of anything either." replied Liana.

Just then, Alex came into the room. "It's time." he said, and left. The girls took a deep breath. Eve walked up to Felicia and slipped her hand in her sister's which she gripped tightly. "Come on." said Felicia, and they followed Alex out to the garden.

Robin had placed the stone in the middle of the head of the two graves and was standing there just looking at the two bundles of blankets in the ground. Alex walked up beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Eve, Liana, and Felicia gathered around the two boys and the group stood there in complete silence.

This was their last chance to see them. Their last goodbye to the couple who'd taken them in, sheltered them, fed them. Tears started flowing down the girl's cheek again...but this time, they weren't tears of despair. They were tears of sadness. Tears that signified the girls had finally accepted the reality and finality of the situation. Robin felt tears welling up in his eyes too, but he fought them back; he had to be strong...like Alex.

"We should...say something." said Alex, stepping forward. He looked intently at the two open graves. What could he say? Maybe whatever he felt right at this moment. That would be...right. "Herm...Lis...both of you were the kindest people I ever knew. Both of you saved my life and the life of my friends. You were...guides to five lost people who had no idea how to live in this world. You showed us the way, you gave us meaning. Herm...you were the greatest teacher I had. You taught me more than just smithing and farming...you showed me what it meant to lead. What it meant to have people depend on you. I'll...never forget those lessons." Alex paused for a second and swallowed. "You didn't deserve this...neither of you did. I...hope...I hope you're happy wherever you both are. I...we...wish you peace...and we...thank you. Thank you for everything you did for us."

Alex stepped back and motioned to Robin. He picked up the shovel and started dropping the soil from the dump by the side of the graves into the holes. Alex turned to the girls. "You don't have to stay here. Go inside. Finalize everything. Make sure we haven't missed anything." The three girls nodded and followed his behest. He then picked up the extra shovel leaning against the garden gate and started to fill the other grave.

* * *

As the afternoon started fading, the two boys finally trudged back into the house covered with dirt. Eve, Liana, and Felicia, maybe because of their feminine tendencies or maybe because they didn't wanna leave the house that way had cleaned up the destroyed hall. Their were a few bits of furniture missing, and a fair damage to the walls and floorboard, but otherwise everything looked normal. Alex realized with a pang that the girls had also cleaned up the bloodstains from the floor. He thought about telling them something about it, but decided not to. "You two should take a bath." said Felicia, looking at Robin and Alex. "We've...salvaged some food from...from yesterday. We can eat before we leave."

Robin collapsed on the floor. "Why are we leaving?" he asked, softly. Everyone looked to Alex. Nobody had asked that question until now but all of them had wondered about it.

"You don't remember?" asked Alex, gravely. "The...creature...said he wasn't alone. He said that there would be more coming. And if they're what he was...we don't stand a chance." Silence fell in the room for a few moments as the gravity of their potential danger sunk in. "I don't know how long it'd take his gang of murderers to get here, but before nightfall today, I wanna be out of this house." announced Alex.

"Where would we go?" asked Liana.

"To Lemara. The town mage would have arrived by now. We'll have him send us back... home...finally..." said Alex, his voice failing.

"And that's it?" asked Robin. "After what happened yesterday, we're just gonna...leave?"

Alex surveyed him for a few moments. "There's nothing we can do here anymore, Rob." he said finally. "There's literally nothing."

"But-"

"What would you like us to do?" asked Alex.

Robin fell silent and broke eye-contact. "You're right. It's just...I feel we could've...done more. I know there was nothing we could have. I...just can't stop feeling that way is all." he said in low voice, almost shameful.

"I know." said Alex, his tone betraying a little too much of the guilt he felt at surviving the attack.

Nobody spoke again for a few moments. The heavy silences were starting to weigh on Felicia now. It felt like their whole world would stop when this happened. Like everything was dead. She forced herself to snap out of it. "Well, if you want to leave before nightfall, we've barely got a few hours. You two should go clean up, we can grab a quick bite, and we'll leave." she said.

"You're right." said Alex, getting up slowly. He wordlessly thanked Felicia who gave a slight nod of acknowledgement to him.

"We'll need gold." said Robin.

"What?"

"The mage. He'll want gold for his troubles. And we have no idea how much..." replied Robin, somberly.

"We have some coin from all our sales." said Felicia. "But I don't know if that'll be enough. And...and I have no idea where Mr. Fegg kept his...savings."

Alex let out a deep sight. This was something he'd been dreading doing. "I know where we can get it." he said. He walked over to the fireplace, bent a bit and reached inside it. Inside the chimney behind what was the mantelpiece he groped around the charred bricks for a while till he felt a ledge. He ran his hand along side it till he came across a solid chest. He stretched his other hand inside the chimney too and pulled the small box out. He felt wrong doing this. As if he was violating a tomb. But even he realized that there was no other way.

The other four watched as Alex slammed the chest on the floor with a low thud. "Herm's...life savings." said Alex in a low voice. "He told me about this chest a few weeks ago...told me if there was ever an emergency...if we were every in need of money...to use this..."

Tears started to form in Liana's eyes again, but she fought them back. Herm wouldn't want her to cry, she told herself, rightfully. Alex got on his knees and gently blew back the thick layer of dust covering the chest. He then slowly ran his hand along the lid and ever so gently, opened the heavy chest.

The others came over to look. Inside, the chest had two partitions. In one there was a huge pile of coins. In the other, there was an even bigger stash. On the lid, from the inside, there was a note pinned. Alex reached it and pulled it off the nail. It looked really old, as if written years ago; he began to read:

Dear reader,

If you have stumbled across this chest while robbing me, I congratulate you on your effort to look in the hiding place I had chosen for this. Only someone with an experience of hiding things himself or someone who knew exactly where to look could've found this chest. If you are someone I know, then please put the chest back as it was and everything will be forgiven. If you are going to continue, then I suppose you want an explanation for this odd division of coin in the chest. You see, I was one of the Captains of the Royal Guard. Upon my..."early retirement"...I was given a fair amount of coin as a compensation for my service. I did not ask for it...I did not want it. It was meant as an insult by the Emperor to me. As a way to show that he held all the purse strings and I could be sold off...I vowed to never spend a single crown from the gold.

I have kept this gold all these years to remind myself that I'll earn more than what that bastard could ever give me. I have led a simple life, and so that has not been very difficult. Dear Robber, if you have any heart for an honest man's hard work, take the gold from the left compartment and leave my honest earnings for me and mine's sustenance. If not...then...well, I believe in karma...

Almost amused by this note, Alex paused for a second and looked on the next half of it. There was something off about this. It looked...fresher. The ink was darker as if it had been written very recently.

Alex, Liana, Felicia...Eve, Robin...if anyone of you is reading this note, it means that I am dead. I...am sorry for that. I truly am. I have known you all for just a few months...but in this short time I have come to think of you as my wards. Maybe it's an old man's foolishness, or maybe misguided fatherhood that makes me feel this way, but I am sorry, that I have abandoned you...

However, I do know one thing; none of you need me to survive. All of you are strong children. You will find a way.

It's not the end of the world, kids. It's just an old man finally at peace. Don't mourn me by being sad. If you want to honor me, then I want you all to smile. Smile in memory of all the good times we've had.

Out of place and out of time, the determination I saw in your eyes always inspired me. It showed me that life will always knock you down...but it's up to you if you want to get back up again. For that, I want to thank each and everyone of you. And also...you also gave this old man happiness. Right now, as I write this letter, I am...happy. You showed me happiness. You gave my life new meaning. Take comfort in the fact that in my final days, I was the happiest man in the world.

Now go ahead into the world, children. Be strong. Be brave. And if you're ever lost in the darkness...follow those golden hearts of yours. They'll lead you straight and true.

Hold each other close, children. This world is not a forgiving and kind place. Each other is what you have. Never lose that.

Do me a favor and tell Lis I love her...and that I'll be waiting for her no matter what.

If this has to serve as a farewell, then I am at least glad I had a chance.

Goodbye, children...and good luck.

Your's truly,

Herm Fegg

Eve let her tears flow; why hide them? What was the point? She didn't care about it. But this time...there was some sort of happiness? Satisfaction? A sense of closure mixed in with the sadness she felt. She hastily wiped the tears from her eyes. Even in death, Herm was still giving her life lessons. She looked around; Liana was re-reading the letter while tears flowed through, Felicia was biting her lip to stop herself from crying. Looking at Alex, she'd also wanted to be strong; someone who the others could rely on too so that Alex didn't have to take the entire burden. Robin's eyes were a bit misty eyed, but he did a good job of not showing his emotions. Despite the situation, Eve felt proud of her younger brother. He'd...grown up so much.

Alex breathed in heavily and let out a short bark of laughter. "Dead, yet still taking me to school." he said in a soft voice. He folded and pocketed the letter and looked up at the other four. "Well, you saw what the old man wanted as his last wish. Smile..." They managed a weak smile and moved away from the chest. "Robin, go take a bath. I'll put this money in something more portable, wash up myself, we'll have something to eat, and it's about damn time we leave."

Once the sense of urgency came over them, work was done pretty quickly. Without saying a word out loud all of them agreed to not have their meal in the hall. They quietly ate in the kitchen. Robin wistfully looked around...the last time he'll ever be here he thought. The girls just toyed with their food, while Alex made himself eat as much as he needed. He knew that there wasn't a guarantee on when they'd be able to eat again, so he wanted to get enough energy to keep functioning even if the others would fall.

The evening was approaching when Alex, Robin, Felicia, Eve, and Liana finally walked out of the house. With quiet dexterity the two boys saddled up Duke and Duchess to the cart, and helped the girls climb on board. Alex whipped the reins, and the horses set off with a gentle trot.

As the sky grew purple, not a was word said between them. The Fegg homestead grew shorter and shorter in the distance and the five plunged into the unknown...alone for the first time.