Stupidity

While walking home late in the night, I was walking with Ryuk by my side. I had so many questions I had to ask, yet acting superior to a shinigami was all I did this entire time. I spoke, without a hint of hesitation,

"God of death, I've acted foolishly as a human and I apologise for the same, but I have several questions to ask about the death note...if I may..."

Ryuk (while looking forward): "Your feelings don't matter to me, what does matter is whether or not you use that book."

Ryuk's face was unchanged. I could tell he was unaffected by my sweet talk. Thank god that was the case, I couldn't bear portraying myself as someone I wasn't. I quickly transitioned from a polite tone to my overpowering voice with the dull face I normally had.

Kira: "I wrote my own name with conditions that would affect others, would they die without having their names written in the death note? Could I accidentally kill someone due to a domino effect?"

Ryuk: "If you write anyone's name in the death note and mention a condition that could harm someone else, the condition would be discarded. It's a wonder how you didn't die."

It's not that I trusted Ryuk, I just needed an opinion from him to further process the situation. Of all things, I wouldn't trust a being who would simply hand a 'death note' to a person like me. I was going to experiment these conditions myself, but after a span of 50 days. Killing anyone before that time limit would create havoc in the world.

But all of this was unnecessary talk of the future. What I was most worried about was my own name. If what Ryuk said was true, then any incident pertaining to multiple deaths would be pointless, but what would happen then? If you discard the conditions, I'm assuming they look at the other pointers written below the name. Could it be the cause of death? No. It would be impossible for that be considered.

Considering that Ryuk was speaking the truth, if I write a cause of death that would affect others, it should ideally be discarded as well. So the only reason in such a situation would be the time specified. If the death note abides by that rule, I would at least live for 80 more years... but what if it doesn't?

Huff, I'm unnecessarily overthinking this matter... my life didn't matter much to begin with. I wonder what made me write in that book to begin with, what was the reason for my stupidity?