83 Do not drop a tear

Why did you do this? I screamed.

I loved you, more than anything in this fucking world. But still, you decided to betray me.

How could you think that your death is the solution? It hurts to even think about moving on.

The room I stood in, had a billion memories of us, which made me suffocate. I planned everything from kissing you to marrying you to having kids with you. Living in our small house far away from people, peacefully, but with small fights which ends before we even know it. But, I forgot to plan the day I would lose you. And I never thought that day would be so close. If I could meet you again in a different world, I would fall in love with you again, over and over.

I understood what is it like to 'Lose that person, you built a future with in your dreams.'

I sat on his study chair and opened the drawer. On the top was a drawing of him and a girl dancing. The girl had a crown and she wore a long gown with feather fittings till the waist and the boy was holding her in his arms and looking in her eyes. Then I saw his poetry journal.

I took the last page with yesterday's date,

' The breeze you feel,

the rain you enjoy,

the memories you have, treasured in your heart.

All of them are not me, merely a fallacy.

One day when you sit there after a shower thinking about your love,

it will appear itself in front of you,

not as a silly breeze,

but in it's most living form.

Oh baby, do not drop a tear.'

I didn't know what to take from his writing. I could feel the heat around my neck, that feel to cut it off. He is all I need, You are all I need Li. You, you decided to be the hero by saving your girl when you actually pushed her into hell. In him I found what I was missing in me and now I lost him. I just lost him but not his love. We will meet soon.

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