1 The Party/ Meeting NF

I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 8am, leaning over hitting the off button, get up, go take a shower, get dressed, grab my phone, purse, and car keys. I was covered in bruises, bad ones too, my bf Mason was responsible, I left before the cops could get called, I didn’t scream like I used too, I changed my best friends are the only ones that know what happened to me, not even my brother in the army knew what happened yet, since I had talked to him before I got beat up. I walk out of my room, walk downstairs, walk out the front door, close the door and lock it. I walk to my car, as I unlock it, I open the door to the driver’s side, get in, shut the door, start the car, I drive to the mall to meet Laurel, Mandy, Morgan and Holly, who are already there and waiting for me. I get out of my car, lock it up, sliding my wallet into my hoodie pocket, despite it being warm I had it on to cover bruises in public until the party, no one would be paying attention to me then.

I walked over to my 4 best friends, we headed into the mall, we went to a dress store and picked out our outfits for tonight.

We head to a shoe store and all get black heels then get our hair done. After our hair appointment we went to lunch, then home to get ready for the party, then headed to Laurel’s house to set up for the party, Laurel has NF guest staring and singing tonight, I was excited I listened to him a lot lately. We set up for the party for 2 hours, did a mic check, and made sure we had enough booze, ice and appetizers. Once 6pm hit, people started arriving and NF arrived at the back door, Laurel got him in and showed him to the room he could get ready in, I stayed in the kitchen, away from him. I was covered in bruises and didn’t need anyone feeling sorry for me. Once the party kicked off, I grabbed a cup and made a strong mixed drink, leaning against the counter as Holly looks at me,

“Hey you okay? You sure you want to do this tonight Lexa?”

I look at her as I take a big sip from my cup, “I’m fine and yes I’m sure, I need this, I need to forget for a night.”

She nodded, “Okay, just checking.”

I smiled at her to reassure her I was fine, Laurel grabbed us and pulled us towards the front of the stage as NF’s music started for If You Want Love,

I stood between Laurel and Morgan, as he walked onto stage, his eyes instantly fell on me, looking at my bruises and cuts, I tried to look away as he began to sing, staring into my eyes still. I sang along to the song with my friends, feeling NF’s gaze on me occasionally. Once that song ended, Real started,

We sang along to that one too, then he took a break, some G-Eazy started to play, NF walked off stage and right towards us, I could have died I wasn’t prepared for meeting him tonight.

“Hi I’m NF, but you ladies can call me Nate,” he smiled at us, his eyes lingering on me a little longer than I expected them too.

“I’m Alexa, ” I say shyly.

“Laurel,” Laurel smiles.

“I’m Holly,” Holly smiles.

“I’m Morgan,” Morgan says.

“I’m Mandy,” Mandy says with a smile.

“It’s nice to meet all you ladies,” he says before turning to me, “Alexa I’d like to talk to you alone if possible?”

I looked shocked, “Sure, follow me.”

I lead him to the room I used while staying over Laurel’s house, it was decorated in pictures of the 5 of us, NF posters that got signed by him, a t-shirt he signed, and some family pictures of me and my parents along with my brother. NF looked around, I closed the door and sat on my bed, patting the spot next to me,

“You can sit.” I say.

He walks over and sits next to me, “What’s your story?”

I looked at him, “You wanna know the reason behind my bruises?”

He nods, I take a deep breath,

“My bf is abusive, I lost both my parents my dad when I was young, my mom over dosed 4 years ago.”

His falls takes in all the pain, he takes my hand and leads me downstairs, the song is ending he has them put on Therapy Session,

He pulls me onto stage with him as he begins,

“Yeah, I gotta say like a month ago

I was talking to fans

And one of them pulled me aside and said

“We never met but I swear that you know who I am

I been through a lot

I don’t know how to express it to people

Don’t think that I can but I got that mansion CD on rotation

That’s real for me Nate, you do not understand”

It’s crazy for me

Kids hit me up, say they slitting they wrists on the daily

This music is more than you think

Don’t book me for just entertainment, it’s entertaining

Hearing these parents, they telling their kids

My music is violent, you gotta be kidding me

I guess that your definition of violence and mine

Is something that we look at differently

How do you picture me ah?

Want me to smile, you want me to laugh

You want me to walk in the stage with a smile on my face

When I’m mad and put on a mask, for real though

I mean, what you expect from me?

I’m tryna do this respectfully

They say that life is a race

I know my problems’ll probably catch up eventually

I do my best to be calm

How you gon’ write me and tell me you slaughter my family?

That’s just a glimpse to the stuff that get sent to me

These the parts of my life that’ll never see, woo

I am aware it’s aggressive

I am not here for acceptance

I don’t know what you expect here

But what you expect when you walk in a therapy session?

Therapy, therapy session

Therapy, therapy session

This girl at the show looked me in the face

And told me her life’s full of drama

Said that her dad is abusive

Apparently he likes to beat on her mama

I got so angry inside

I wanted to tell her to give me his number

But what you gon’ do with it right?

You gon’ hit him up then he’ll start hitting her harder

That’s real

These kids, they come to my shows

With tears in they eyes

Imagine someone looking at you

And saying your music’s the reason that they are alive

Sometimes, I don’t know how to handle it

This type of life isn’t glamorous

This ain’t an act for the cameras

You see me walk on these stages but have no idea what I’m dealing with after it

I put it all in the open

This is the way that I cope with all my emotion

I’m taking pictures with thousands of people

But honestly, I feel like nobody knows me

I’m trying to deal with depression

I’m trying to deal with the pressure

How you gon’ tell me my music does not have a message

When I’m looking out at this crowd full of people I know I affected?

Ah, I got some things in my life, I know I should let ’em go

Let me jot it down, let me take a mental note

I put it all in this microphone, think about that for a minute

What is the point of this song, I’m just venting but what you expect from a therapy session?

Therapy, therapy session

Therapy, therapy session

What you think about me

That doesn’t worry me

I know I handle some things immaturely

I know that I need to grow in maturity

I ain’t gon’ walk on these stages in front of these people

And act like I live my life perfectly

That doesn’t work for me

Christian is not the definition of a perfect me, woo

I ain’t the type to be quiet

I ain’t gon’ sit here in silence

If I wouldn’t say what I say to your face

Then I promise you I wouldn’t say it in private

I am not lying

People go off on my page and I’m trying to quit the replying

But this is ridiculous

I’m passionate man, I really mean what I’m writing

You want me to keep it 100? Okay, I’ll keep it 100

I see a whole lot of talking on socials

But honestly, I don’t see nothing in public

I kinda love it, yeah

“Why don’t you write us some happy raps?

That would be awesome

All your music is moody and dark, Nate”

Don’t get me started

You wanna know what it’s like if you met me in person?

Listen to my verses

This music is not just for people

Who sit in the pews and pray at the churches

I won’t reject it

I don’t expect everyone to respect it

I don’t expect you to get my perspective

What you expect from a therapy session?

I mean, I think sometimes people they confuse what I’m doing

I write about life, I write about things that I’m actually dealing with

Something that I’m actually experiencing, this is real for me

Like this is something that personally helps me as well

I’m not confused about who gave me the gift

God gave me the gift and he gave me the ability to do this

And he also gave me this as an outlet

And that’s what music is for me

When I feel something, whether it’s anger

Um, it’s a passion about something, or frustration

Like this is where I go, this is, that’s the whole NFrealmusic thing man

This is real for me, I need this, this is a therapy for me.”

He paused for a moment, “I chose that song, because it runs deep for those who are going through a tough time, the next song I’m going to let my new friend Alexa pick, she’s going to sing along with me.”

I looked at him, thinking carefully of the song I wanted, I leaned over and whispered,

“Moments.”

He nodded and had them play it,

I began to sing along with NF, camera’s flashed as people took pictures of us, Nate took my hand and held it as we danced and rapped together, it was incredible being up there with him. After we finished up, a few more songs were played, we partied and got drunk, before Nate left he pulled me aside, handing me a slip of paper and whispering in my ear,

“Text or call me anytime Alexa, I’ll respond right away.”

I smiled at him and nodded, “I will Nate thank you.”

He hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and replied, “You’re welcome, until I see you again.”

With that he left, I put his number in my phone under NF<3, then headed to bed, after we all locked up.