Chapter Seventeen: A Divergence Of Minds, And Yet The Same

When the buses finally pulled up to Iwanai Municipal High School, the students that had been asleep were woken up by others, and slowly but surely, they all began to disembark. Many of them already had rides waiting, but there were still plenty of others who were stuck holding their luggage and standing around. Luckily, it was a Thursday and still in the afternoon, so the first and third year students were still in class, meaning the school was open. Choosing not to wait in the cold, many of the second-years headed inside.

"Can't believe it's actually over," Chiyo said with bit of sadness in her tone. "I think I'm actually kinda happy to be back," Haruna said. "It'll be nice to sleep in my own bed and not have to share it." "Did'ja not like sharing a bed with me Haru-chi?" Chiyo asked with a bit of allure. "Not when I had to keep prying you off of me. What did you think I was, a hug pillow?" Haruna responded. "But you were just so soft and warm!" Chiyo said, going to grab onto Haruna's arm. "No thank you," Haruna said, planting her outstretched hand right on Chiyo's forehead and keeping her away. "Aww… my Haru-chi giving me such a cold treatment is breaking my heart!" Chiyo joked. "God, dealing with you for three days straight was seriously too much…" Haruna groaned.

While the two of them were messing around, they heard a honk from a nearby car, followed by a shout. "Chi, hurry up!" Looking around, the two girls eventually spotted Chitose sitting in a car parked nearby. "Oh, my big sis is here!" Chiyo said excitedly, dashing to the side of the car. Behind her, Haruna followed. "Hm? Hey Haru-chi, you need a lift?" Chitose asked. "Well, if it's not too much trouble…" Haruna said. "And hey," Chitose went on. "Isn't that Kana-chan over there? You two live right next to each other, yeah? Why don't ya call her over here?"

Doing as she was told, Haruna called out to Kanako. Hearing her name, the girl in question came over. "Y-Yes?" she said. "Chiyo's sister is offering us a ride. If you haven't called your parents already, she can drop both of us off," Haruna explained. "O-Oh, okay. If it's not too much trouble…" Kanako said, but hearing that made Chitose laugh. "That's exactly what Haru-chi just said! You two really are on the same wavelength aren't'cha?" So with that decided, the three girls loaded their luggage into the trunk, then Chiyo got in the front seat, and Haruna and Kanako got in the back.

It took all of half a second before Chiyo started going into all of the details of their trip. While Haruna listened, she wondered if Chitose would interrupt her little sister to tell her to slow down or something, but she did nothing of the sort. Instead, Haruna noticed she was smiling, like it made her really happy to hear about how much fun Chiyo had. The scene was a good reminder of just how close the Wakabayashi sisters really were. Although, even with that closeness, Haruna was still impressed that Chitose was keeping up. Chiyo was talking even more and faster than usual, but Chitose just kept nodding along or letting out a little "mhm," or "oh yeah?" every so often. "I guess that's just how it is when you grow up with someone," Haruna concluded.

Thinking that, Haruna's eyes wandered to her right. Next to her was Kanako, much like they just were minutes before on the bus. "Although, I guess even when you grow up with someone, it's no guarantee you'll be close." Her thoughts drifted to the past. Many years ago, there had been a happy trio. Two girls, one boy, and a whole lot of fun. At the time, it had seemed like those days would never end. The three of them would be together forever. Unfortunately, life had different plans.

Once Kanako and Haruna both started developing feelings for Akio, that future was doomed. No matter what, one of the two girls would be left out in the cold, while the other got to enjoy a happy relationship. Of course, by the time Haruna realized she was in love with Akio, she was already in the cold. Her relationship with Kanako had been torn to tatters by her own hands, and she had sworn to hate her rival.

And yet, life still had different plans. Through the meddling of the boy she had a crush on, Haruna was able to reconcile with Kanako. But then, further change happened still. Gradually, Haruna's feelings for Akio faded, and before she knew it, they had been replaced. The ones that took that spot were stronger than anything she had ever felt. She was sure that if she was with the new person she was in love with, her heart would burst with joy. Never in a million years had Haruna ever imagined that she'd fall for a girl, let alone that girl being Kanako.

Now that it had happened, Haruna couldn't stop thinking about it. She wasn't just in love with Kanako as a person. She was in love with the entire idea of her. Everything for her looks to her personality to a potential future with her made Haruna's heart leap. Especially the future. That part was her favorite to imagine.

After realizing her feelings for Kanako, a particular image came to mind more often than the others. In it, Haruna and Kanako were sitting on a couch in their living room cuddled up together. A little rain pattered against the window and light was just beginning to fade, giving way to the night. The temperature of the air outside was dropping, going just low enough to cause a slight chill, hence the cuddling. While sitting in their own apartment, Kanako would be nodding off, and it'd be in that moment that Haruna would give her a little nudge. Looking up, Kanako's sleepy eyes would open enough to see the girl next to her. She'd smile gently, and then, leaning in closer, their lips would meet in the middle.

Why that particular image was the one that Haruna thought of most, she wasn't sure, but she knew it warmed her up inside and made her wish for those days. And yet, life seemingly had one more turn in store. In her panic, Haruna had shouted her feelings to Kanako. It had certainly been far less romantic than she had hoped such a moment would be, but it happened all the same. Ever since then, Haruna had been feeling a sense of distance from Kanako. Every now and then it faded due to the girl's actions, but it always came back. It was unshakable, and it was because of that stubborn feeling that Haruna feared her dream of another future was in jeopardy.

Her current feelings of doubt and uncertainty clashed against desire and hope. It felt unpleasant. It caused her great uneasiness. Regardless of what she told herself, what she did, or even what Kanako did, that conflict raged on. Haruna was sure that if she got an answer out of Kanako, that conflict would end. But, she had asked twice now, and twice she hadn't gotten a yes or a no. What did it mean? What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to handle the feelings inside her that fought against one another?

There were no answers, yet one answer alone could probably put an end to all of those questions. But it was elusive. Skittish. Difficult to pin down and certainly unknown to the one on the waiting end. If Haruna could reach her hand out and catch it, she'd do it in an instant, but… that was impossible. The only way she'd ever get that answer was from the lips of the girl next to her.

"And we've arrived," Chitose announced, breaking Haruna's train of thought. "T-Thanks for the ride," Kanako said after getting out and grabbing her things. "Yeah, thanks," Haruna added, following in Kanako's lead. "No prob girls," Chitose said smoothly. "See ya at school tomorrow!" Chiyo said with a big smile and wave. She was still energized from telling all of her stories to Chitose. As they drove off, Haruna let out a little laugh. "I feel bad for Chitose. Chiyo's so going to talk her ear off." "Yeah, but she's probably used to it," Kanako said. The comment caught Haruna by surprise. "So we were thinking the same thing..." she thought. It was the second time they been in sync like that. "Maybe Chitose is right. We really are on the same wavelength..." "Well, s-see you tomorrow," Kanako said. "Right," Haruna said back, and with that, the two of them parted ways.

Once Haruna got inside, she announced she was home, although no one was around to greet her. After all, it was the middle of the day on a Thursday, so both of Haruna's parents were at work. "Now what?" she muttered to herself. It was good to be home, but suddenly being back with nothing to do after three days packed full of activity left Haruna feeling a little lost. "Guess I'll unpack…"

There was a small hope that if she found things to keep herself busy with, then maybe her mind would stop racing so much, but it turned out to have the opposite effect. From putting her stuff away to washing dishes, the tasks were so menial that it only freed up Haruna's mind. Primarily, she kept thinking about Kanako and her developing habit of non-answering.

Out of all the experiences Haruna had had, she couldn't recall a single one where she was in such an odd position. It was like being caught in the middle and being on the outside at the same time. For the most part, Haruna didn't even think such a situation was possible. "The only time I've ever seen anything like this is in manga." From her memories, Haruna thought of several scenes. She wasn't a big reader, but after realizing she was in love with Akio, she had read a handful of romance series to try to get a better idea of how to approach her own romance. How much it helped, she really wasn't sure.

When it came to the scenes she remembered, it was often something along the lines of one party confessing, another asking if they could wait for an answer, then several chapters later, the first party actually got one. At most, it seemed like only a few days or maybe weeks had passed by for those characters. "So why am I stuck waiting this long?" Haruna sighed. She was beyond weeks, instead entering the waiting time of months.

It always looked so simple in those series. Even if the main protagonist was dense, he'd still figure out his feelings sooner or later. And when it came to the girls, they seemed to move even faster, aside from a couple certain character types. However, even if it did turn out to be a long time, it rarely felt that way. Now that Haruna was living it, she was realizing an unfortunate truth. "None of those stories tell you just how excruciating it is waiting for an answer."

Excruciating. Perhaps that really was the best way to describe it. For the first couple of days after her confession, Haruna had simply just waited. When a week had gone by, she began to wonder how long she would have to wait. When several weeks had gone by, that was when Haruna started to worry.

With that worry had come an indescribable pain in Haruna 'sheart and mind. Each passing day made her agonize. More and more worried thoughts filled her head. Why is she taking so long? Is it because I'm a girl? Does she actually like someone else? It was questions such as these that assailed her and continued to do so. Putting all of it together, it felt like torture for her very soul.

If you love someone, but you're left in agony, is it a test or is it a sign of things to come? No one could know the answer to such a question and with Haruna being among them, all she could do was fret, feeding more and more into her doubts, which made their presence known in the form of a believed distance.

Groaning aloud, Haruna flopped down on the couch. "Why can't it all be as easy as in manga?" Grabbing the remote, she turned on the TV. Immediately, there was a scene with a couple on a date. Changing the channel, Haruna saw another lovey-dovey scene. "They're together," she said as she flipped through the channels. "They're together, they're together. Oh look, they're together too."

Staring at the screen blankly, Haruna suddenly threw down the remote and ruffled her hands through her hair dramatically. "Argh! What the hell?! Why do they all get to be happy huh?! Where's my happiness? Where is it?!" Her outburst had led her to stand up, so once she finished, Haruna promptly flopped back down. "Ugh… seriously, why are there even so many programs like this on anyway?" Glancing around, Haruna spotted the calendar on a nearby wall. "Oh, right. It's almost Christmas."

Being only a little more than a week away, it was perfectly natural for there to be a bunch of mushy romance movies on television. The holiday always seemed to bring out the romantic side in people. "Christmas, huh…?" Haruna said quietly. "I wonder… if Kanako's doing anything for Christmas…" It was mostly just an idle thought, but the idea of spending the holiday with the girl she loved did make Haruna happy. "Honestly, if I could do even half of what all those TV couples get to do, I think I'd be thrilled…"

As Haruna continued to think to herself, she lost track of time, and before she knew it, her parents were arriving home. After welcoming her back, Haruna went on to tell them about her trip (although not in as much detail as Chiyo had with Chitose). They all sat and had dinner together, and it wasn't long after that that Haruna was getting ready for bed. Unfortunately, that was also when her previous thoughts came back to her, and in the end, it led to a very restless night.

*****

An obnoxious beeping was the first thing to greet Haruna's ears the next morning. With a groan, she turned off the noise before slowly rising up out of bed. "Right… I have to go back to school now…" she thought. After everything that had happened the past four days, it felt like it had been a long time since she had needed to go through her normal routine. So, after sliding out from underneath her covers and putting on her uniform, Haruna went downstairs for breakfast.

In comparison to the huge spreads she had been getting, her current options almost felt paltry. A couple of eggs, toast and rice were the offerings, which was nothing out of the ordinary usually. However, as she stared at them, Haruna couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"Hm? Is something wrong dear?" her mother asked. "No…" Haruna sighed as she picked up a piece of toast. With that, the final reminder that she was back home sunk in. Several bites later, Haruna stood up to then go back upstairs, comb her hair, brush her teeth and grab her bag before heading out.

Walking through the door, Haruna took several steps outside before stopping to look to her next -door neighbor. For a moment, she wondered if she should go wake Kanako up. Ever since her confession, she had only done so now and then, but it seemed like she had a good excuse this time. "She'll probably just keep sleeping because of how tiring the school trip was," Haruna thought. Indeed, when she had been woken up by her alarm, it hadn't been easy to resist the temptation to go back to sleep. Knowing Kanako, it was nearly a guarantee that she wouldn't be so lucky. Satisfied with her reasoning, Haruna proceeded to go one house over and knock.

True to form, the person to open the door was Kanako's mother, appearing to be halfway ready for work. "Oh, Haruna-chan!" she exclaimed. "Great! Can you-" "Wake up Kanako?" Haruna said, finishing her sentence. She had been asked so many times now that it just felt natural. "Yes," her mother said in relief. "Sure. Have a good day at work," Haruna said as she walked in.

Going up the stairs, Haruna knocked on the door. "Kanako? You awake?" No response. Cracking the door open, Haruna peeked inside. "Kanakooo," she called. In a bed, a girl shifted around, pulling up her blankets even higher over her head. Seeing that her meager efforts weren't working, Haruna stepped farther inside. "C'mon, get up," she said, giving Kanako a little push. "Mm," the girl moaned. Haruna sighed. "Why is it so hard to get you up in the morning…?"

Standing over Kanako, Haruna thought for a moment. What was the appropriate way to wake Kanako up anymore? There didn't really seem to be any good approach. Then, an idea came to Haruna. Leaning in, she brought her lips close to Kanako's ear. "If you don't wake up… I-I'll kiss you," she whispered. It took a bit of courage to say that, even if she didn't mean it. But, what happened next was something Haruna hadn't expected.

Rolling over, Kanako's eyes split open just enough to see. "Good morning kisses… are nice," she said sleepily, before then curving her lips into the shape of one expecting a kiss. The reaction made Haruna blush profusely and her heart pound immensely. But, before she could do anything, Kanako's eyes opened wider. "Huh? Haruna?" she said as she came to full consciousness. Unfortunately for her, Kanako's timing couldn't have been worse. Still reeling from the unexpectedly cute and heart-throbbing reaction Kanako had given her, all Haruna could think to do to cover her embarrassment was to pick up a stuffed bear on the floor and through it at Kanako's face.

"I-Idiot!"

"Owwie!"

Huffing, Haruna stormed out of the room and continued going along until she reached the end of the hall at the top of the staircase. "God…" she muttered, then thought, "Don't you know I'll totally get the wrong idea if you do stuff like that?" It was a silly thing to think, considering Kanako had been half-asleep, but it still felt like a valid complaint to Haruna. "Any longer, and I think I really would've…"

While Haruna recovered, Kanako got ready, and after a while later, the two of them left for school. As they walked, it was mostly silent between them, but eventually, Kanako asked a question. "H-Hey, Haruna?" she began. "W-Why did you throw something at me earlier?" Haruna stared at her for a moment, but as soon as she started blushing from remembering, she looked away. "You just were taking too long to get up. That's all," she lied. "R-Really?" Kanako said. "Sorry… I thought I had gotten better about that. " "It's fine. We're all tired after that trip," Haruna said.

"Haru-chiiii! Kana-chaaaan!"

"Well, almost all of us," Haruna said as she stopped to look behind her. The one calling the two girls' names was running up to them with a cheerful expression. "Morning!" she said when she caught up. "Good morning," Kanako said. "I swear, you're the only person who could be this energetic the day after a long trip Chiyo," Haruna said. And with that, the duo turned trio began walking again. It felt like things were really falling back into routine.

Even the school day was normal. There was still plenty of buzz among the students in Haruna's class about the trip, but there was also a level of exhaustion mixed in as well. Due to that, the teachers decided to keep the lessons light for the day. Surprisingly, Haruna didn't find her mind drifting as much as she thought it would be during such easy lessons. Although, maybe that was more because she kept drifting in a different way.

"Endo-san," the teacher called. "If you're going to sleep, I'd prefer you did it at home." The comment elicited a few laughs, but a glare from Haruna shut them all up. Well, all except one. "Are ya sleepy Haru-chi?" Chiyo snickered. "I'll let you sleep on my lap during lunch." With as tired as she was getting in class, Haruna almost considered the offer. After all, Chiyo's thighs did look pretty soft. In the end though, Haruna shook her head, deciding against the idea.

During lunch, Haruna, Chiyo, Jasmine and Kanako ate together in the cafeteria. They talked about the school trip just like all of their other fellow second-years, although Haruna noticed that Kanako seemed a little distracted. But, looking around, she couldn't figure out what it was.

After lunch was the rest of the school day, and by the time it finished, everybody seemed ready to go home to catch up on the sleep they were still missing. Kanako went to her club, and after saying their goodbyes to her, Chiyo and Haruna left. Overall, the day was fairly normal aside from Haruna feeling overly tired.

And yet… her doubts had plagued her. They had been less noticeable thanks to the return of routine, but once she was home, they came back full force. As she laid on her bed, a single question went through Haruna's mind: "What am I going to do?"

*****

When Kanako had arrived home from the trip, she had had a very similar experience as Haruna. With both her parents at work, there was no one to greet her. In a way, it felt strange. After being with people 24/7 for the past three to four days, being alone just seemed out of place. "What am I supposed to do now?" Kanako wondered.

It didn't take long for her to come up with an answer. There was really only one thing on her mind for her to be doing. "How will I give my answer to Haruna?" she thought. Kanako had taken the risk of not answering when she had last had the chance, so now it was up to her to come up with her own plan of attack.

Of course, this was all fairly new to Kanako. She had never really been on the offensive before when it came to love. Her only experience was with Akio, and even that was minimal. Most of what she did had happened only after Haruna had become her blatant opposition. On top of that, her efforts had been small too. Most of the things Kanako had tried to win Akio's heart were things she had remembered seeing in movies or reading in books. With her previous conviction, that had felt like enough, but looking back, it was clear that it hadn't been anywhere close. "Not that it matters I guess," Kanako thought. "I doubt Akio-kun would've gone out with me even if I had done better."

Now, Kanako had an entirely different challenge. Sure, she already knew how Haruna felt about her, but that didn't make it any easier. Kanako had already failed to give Haruna an answer twice. She could tell that her opportunities to say how she felt were running out. So, in order to properly convey them, Kanako wanted to have a good plan. The question was how?

Having hardly any experience being on the attack, how does one come up with a romantic plan to finally give an answer to the person that confessed to them? That was Kanako's challenge. "What should I do?" she wondered. It was out of the question for her to just waltz right up to Haruna and say "Yes, I love you too! Go out with me!" In the same vein, going to her house where it would be more private felt just as lackluster. Then, once the location was picked, there was still deciding what they would do. "I feel like I'm planning a date…" she thought, although that felt like a good way to put it. What better way to give an answer than with a romantic evening?

While she thought about her future plans, Kanako's parents came home. Seeing their daughter for the first time in several days, they doted on her quite bit and asked all sorts of questions about what she did in Sapporo. Kanako was happy to answer them, but she did want to keep things a little short, having a lot to think about and all.

The night turned out to go on long, and by the time Kanako had gotten to bed, she had been too tired to think anymore. However, just because her conscious mind wasn't thinking, that didn't mean her subconscious wasn't either. That was why, after spending so long thinking about Haruna in a romantic way, hearing the girl's voice in the morning had triggered a weird reaction from Kanako. Really, she didn't even remember doing it. She did remember getting hit in the face with her own stuffed animal though. "What was that all about?" she had wondered.

At school, things had proceeded much like normal, but it was at lunch that Kanako's line of thought had gotten truly derailed. While she had been eating with Chiyo, Haruna and Jasmine, she had idly looked around when a certain group had caught her eye. It was a group Kanako had seen together on the school trip and among them was Michi. However, when last she had seen them, Kanako had noticed Michi keeping her distance. Now, she was talking with them. Not only that… she was laughing. Having fun.

A pain seeped into Kanako. It wasn't jealousy or scorn or anything bitter at all. In truth, it was just sadness. At one time, Kanako had been pretty close with Michi, and along with Mayu and Itsuki, they had laughed and had fun together like that too. Staring at the scene before her eyes, it almost felt like Kanako and the others had been replaced. To what degree that was actually true, Kanako didn't know, but it didn't feel like a wrong assumption either. Considering the gap in their friendship that had formed, Kanako wasn't sure if she'd ever be close with Michi again. If a similar gap had formed with Mayu and Itsuki as well, it only made sense she'd find new friends.

Were they replacements? Or was Michi just faking it? Or, were they just more friends? Kanako couldn't really recall seeing Michi with people outside of their own group and the cooking club, so she wasn't sure, but as far as she knew, Michi hadn't had many other friends. What she did know though, was that seeing Michi with other people the way she used to be was a reminder to Kanako of just how big a gap there was between them.

She wanted to dwell on it. If she could just sit and think about it for hours, Kanako probably would've, but she denied herself. This wasn't the time to be worrying about a potentially dead friendship. "One thing at a time," Kanako told herself. The first thing on the to-do list was giving Haruna an answer, so that was what Kanako decided to focus on.

Through the rest of the day, and even during club, Kanako thought and thought. Even when she got home, she kept thinking, until finally, it hit her. It was obvious. It was almost too perfect. "I know exactly what I'll do," she thought confidently. "I'll confess…"

"...on Christmas."

End of Chapter Seventeen.