85 Chapter Nineteen: Christmas

When Kanako woke up for the second time that day, she thought about her time with Chiyo earlier. "She says she's going to take care of everything, but what does that mean?" she wondered. If Chiyo was willing to help her out, then that was great, but Kanako really had no clue what exactly the gal's help would entail.

If she could've, she may have dwelled on it for a while, but before she could do even that, Kanako had something else that needed to be done. After all, if she didn't, it would rend all of Chiyo's plans (whatever they may be) completely pointless. Climbing out of her bed and staring out her window, Kanako thought about the girl next door. The window itself didn't actually face her neighbor's house, but if Kanako were to lean out it and look to one side, she'd see at least the edge. Of course, it was simply too cold to be opening windows, so the best she could do was stare wistfully.

"H-Hey, Haruna, got any plans for Christmas?" ..."Is that too informal?"

"I was wondering if maybe you were free on Christmas?" …"That sounds too awkward…"

"Would you like to go on a Christmas date with me?" …"No way, there's no way I could say it like that!"

With each attempt Kanako practiced, she critiqued herself. One after the other she tried, until eventually she gave up, flopping back down onto her bed for the second time that day. "...How are you supposed to ask someone something like this anyways?" she muttered aloud. It was a valid question for Kanako. For someone who had never truly been on the offensive of love, asking something like "Would you go on a date with me?" was entirely foreign. Adding the elements of Christmas and her own circumstances too, and it proved to be a towering combination.

Admittedly, just like anyone else, there was doubt in Kanako's mind. Could she do it? Could she stand in front of Haruna and give her answer with confidence? Or, would she sputter and falter, proving to make a fool of herself? The thought of tell Haruna yes made her nervous. Her heartbeat raced. Her legs trembled. If even the thought caused her such a reaction, then what would the real moment do to her?

She was sure. Regardless of the doubts in her mind, Kanako's heart was certain. There wasn't, there couldn't be anyone else in this world that Kanako loved. And yet, with each passing day, her nerves grew. Never before had she experienced feelings such as these. Although, for as nervous as she was, there was also a fair amount of excitement.

In the end, she already knew how Haruna felt. Kanako knew it had been a long wait, but surely Haruna's feelings hadn't changed that quickly? Having the knowledge of how Haruna felt was something that eased Kanako's mind a bit, because she knew that once the word yes spilled from her lips, they'd be together. A couple. Dating. Kanako's heart raced even more. She could hardly wait.

But, wait she must. After all, there was still a crucial step left to take. She still needed to invite Haruna. If the object of her affection wasn't present, then there'd of course be no point. Gathering herself, Kanako took in a deep breath, sat up rapidly, and then exhaled. "I should just do it," she thought. "I'll march right over there and ask her."

In a way, that was funny. Somewhere in the back of Kanako's mind, the girl was laughing at herself. Several years ago, she had thought much the same thing, only to allow her cowardice to take over and prevent herself from doing what she said she would. She had never wanted to lose Haruna as a friend, and at the time, Kanako had been determined to go over to her house and demand a reason for her behavior. But, when she had gotten to the door, she had froze, and ultimately, years passed before anything was resolved.

Her amusement came because it felt so easy now. Or, perhaps easy wasn't the right word. It was still hard. Kanako still wasn't sure what she would say. However, her situation differed greatly from the past, and it was because of that difference that she had to laugh. Back then, she had been so afraid. Now, she was nervous, but for something else entirely. "It really is funny how things change…" Kanako thought to herself.

Change, truly, was inevitable. No matter how much you struggle against it, no matter how much you fight, it will come all the same. But, just because it's inevitable does not mean it's easily accepted. There were some, like Michi Fukuhara, who wished for things to remain stagnant. There were those like Hinami, who believed as long as you were happy in the present, that was all that mattered. There were those like Chiyo as well, constantly pushing forward and allowing change to occur, but at the same time, never forgetting the past.

Somewhere on that scale was Kanako. In the beginning she would've said that she probably leaned more toward Michi's side of things, but that didn't mean she felt the same. Rather, it was more like Kanako wanted to get back what had been lost, and most of that desire resided in Haruna. However, as time went on, things changed far beyond what Kanako had wanted. She had gotten back Haruna. She had lost Akio. She wasn't sure about Michi.

She had found true, undeniable, overwhelming love.

She had fallen for a girl. She had fallen for a childhood friend. She had fallen for the one who had berated her and pushed her away. Never, never in Kanako's wildest dreams had she truly, with all her heart, imagined a future like this. And yet, it was what she desired more than anything. That desire, burning, blazing, engulfing everything within her, carried her forward like nothing else could. It carried her, both mentally and physically.

Before she knew it, Kanako was dressed and standing at the door. She had been so engrossed in her thoughts that she had gone through everyday routine without even giving it conscious thought. This too, deserved a laugh. "What am I going to do with myself?" she joked. Feeling light, she took a step toward the door, then another before turning the knob.

Even just opening the door slightly allowed a splitting wind to cut through Kanako. "Geez, it's cold!" she cried. Of course, with the passage of time also came season, and Hokkaido was in the thralls of winter. The wind bit and the snow fell, but even so, Kanako allowed her desire to carry her even farther.

She crunched through the snow, watched for ice on the sidewalk, and turned the corner before going back up a nearly identical path she had just gone down. Standing before a door very similar to her own, Kanako raised her hand and knocked.

After a few seconds, there was click, and the door opened. "Who is it?" a groggy voice asked. Kanako snickered. "Good morning Haruna," she said. In front of her was the girl she loved, wearing an old big and black t-shirt, baggy grey basketball shorts, and a bundle of hair that was more bird's nest than groomed. "Uh...huh?" Haruna let out, rubbing her left eye. Then, both eyes went big. "K-K-Kanako?!" she exclaimed.

It wasn't as if Kanako had never seen Haruna in such a state, but in every instance, Haruna had been expecting it to one degree or another. Now though, here Kanako was, staring at her with a smile on her face, surprising her on a late Saturday morning. "W-What are you doing here?" she asked. "Mind if I come in?" Kanako asked back, but before Haruna could answer, Kanako was already walking through the door. "Uh...sure," was all Haruna could say.

Once the door was shut, Kanako shivered. "Brr!" she cried. "It's really too cold out there." "If it's so cold then why did you come over? You could've just called me y'know," Haruna said. Kanako's cheeks puffed. "That would defeat the point!" she exclaimed. "W-What point?" Haruna said, caught by Kanako's sudden pouting. Part of the reason Kanako had gone in person was because she wanted to see Haruna's reaction to being asked out for Christmas.

Putting her pout to rest, Kanako gathered herself once more. Before her stood an absolute mess of a girl, but Kanako couldn't find it any more adorable. With a plastered look of confusion on Haruna's face, Kanako spoke.

"H-Haruna," she began. "Yeah?" the girl said back. "D-Do you… do you have any plans for Christmas?!"

If it wasn't for her sheer embarrassment, Kanako would've smack herself on the face right then and there. She had meant for her question to come out more smoothly, to be filled with confidence, and instead it had came out as a cracking shout. "I could die…" Kanako groaned inside. Her biggest moment yet, and she felt like she had screwed up royally.

Looking at Haruna with wimpy eyes, Kanako saw that the girl's own eyes were wide. Shortly after, they softened, until finally, she let out a little laugh. "That's a hell of a way to ask," she said with a snort, which only made Kanako's face heat up with more embarrassment. "But," Haruna continued. "No, I don't have any plans."

Those words allowed relief to wash over Kanako. It was exactly what she wanted to hear. "T-Then," she said. "W-Would you spend Christmas with me?" "Yeah," Haruna said, a smile spreading across her lips. "I'd love to."

It was official. Kanako would get to spend Christmas with Haruna. Finally, finally, she could give her answer to her. "It won't be long now," she thought. And while she thought, Haruna invited her in for some tea. For a while, the two talked, though the conversation held nothing of significance. All it was was a chat between old friends, and two girls who were in love with each other. The glances in their eyes, the reddening of their cheeks, and the lightness of the atmosphere around them practically announced their feelings.

Soon, Kanako thought, she'd get to have days like this all the time. They'd spend hours and hours together just like they were now, and it would be nothing but peace. How long had she yearned for something like that? Did she even know? Looking back, Kanako had no idea when she had thought about something like that. But, that did little to diminish the feeling.

After a while, the two parted ways and Kanako went back home. It took everything inside of her to not start skipping in glee. Surely, if she skipped, luck, fortune or the universe would be sure to make her slip and fall on a piece of ice and have her make a fool of herself again. So she restrained herself until she arrived back inside her own house.

There, Kanako leaped for joy. "I'm so happy!" she thought. "A Christmas with Haruna… what could be better?" Immediately, she texted to Chiyo to let her know, and just as quickly, she got a reply with a big smiley face, and a follow up telling Kanako to look forward to what Chiyo had planned.

It was all coming together. Soon, Haruna and Kanako would be a couple.

*****

In the time that passed between then and Christmas, the only thing of note were finals for the second term. The second year students of Iwanai Municipal High School were none too pleased about the timing, considering they had had hardly any time to study, but the tests were given out nonetheless. Somehow, despite the excitement within her, Kanako had managed to focus and believed she did fairly well this time.

Now, with the second term complete, Christmas day was upon her. Once again, Kanako's family hadn't planned anything, and when she explained to her parents that she wanted to spend Christmas with Haruna, they were fine with the idea. To them, they were just happy to see Kanako spending so much time with her childhood friend.

Sitting in the living room, Kanako fidgeted. Last night, she had gotten a text from Chiyo telling her that the gal would be arriving at 4 p.m. to get her ready. What exactly that meant, Kanako wasn't sure, but she was grateful to have Chiyo's help in any way she could get it.

Luckily, it wasn't much longer until the gal in question made her appearance. When Kanako opened the front door, she saw Chiyo, but the sight threw her for a moment. "Meeeerrry Christmas Kana-chan!" she said cheerfully. "Y-You look… festive?" Kanako said, uncertain of how to respond. Chiyo was wearing a Santa hat that glittered with every motion of her head, a sweater that was somehow louder than she was, and a red and green striped miniskirt.

"Thank you!" Chiyo said happily. "But we're not here about my appearance. Ready for your makeover Kana-chan?" "M-Makeover?" Kanako repeated. "Yup!" Chiyo said. On second glance, Kanako noticed Chiyo was carrying a large bag. "C'mon, let's get started!" she said, dashing inside and taking Kanako by the hand before pulling her along in her own home.

Setting up in Kanako's room, Chiyo began to pull item after item out of her bag. In the end, there were several rows of makeup and two sets of clothes. "U-Um, what is all of this?" Kanako asked. "Oh, sorry, did you have an outfit planned already?" Chiyo asked. "Ah, w-well..." Kanako said. She had been so excited about the date itself that she hadn't even thought about what she would wear. "No…" she admitted. "Perfect!" Chiyo said with a clap of her hands. "I think either of these will fit ya really well Kana-chan!"

And so the makeover began. First, Chiyo got Kanako to try on both outfits she had brought before they decided one. "I-I don't know, do you really think this looks good?" Kanako said. "Mhm! It's adorable on you Kana-chan!" Chiyo said. "O-Okay… then I think I like this one." "Great! Then let's do your hair and makeup next."

Just like with the clothes, the two girls tried out a bunch of different combinations before finally landing on one they both liked. As Chiyo applied the selection, Kanako could feel her nerves building. "What's wrong Kana-chan?" Chiyo asked. "Gettin' nervous?" Kanako was surprised. "How did you-" she started saying, but she stopped when she felt the lipstick hit her lips. "Well for one, your lips are trembling a bit. But… I guess I also just know. Like, it just makes sense."

For a moment, Kanako was quiet. "Chiyo?" she said. "Hm?" "D-Do you think… do you think Haruna will go out with me?" At her question, Chiyo couldn't help but laugh. "Seriously Kana-chan? Of course she will! That girl is so in love with you. For real, Kana-chan… the way she looks at you… the way she smiles when you're around… I've never seen Haru-chi like that. If she doesn't become your lover after tonight, she'll be the biggest idiot around."

Those words helped Kanako relax a little bit. "Thanks Chiyo," she said. "No prob. Also, looks like we're just about done here." Guiding Kanako back to her room from the bathroom they had gone to, Chiyo set her up in front of a large mirror. "How's this?"

All Kanako could do was stare. "You're…" she began. "really good at this Chiyo…" "Aw, thanks," Chiyo said. "I can barely tell this is me…" Kanako said. "I look… really mature." "Well, I thought it might be good to go for a look like that, with it being a big night for you and all," Chiyo explained. "I think I nailed the perfect mix of adult and cute!"

*****

Next door, Haruna was getting her own surprise. "Heyyy Haru-chi," a smooth voice said. "Jasmine-chan? What're you doing here?" Haruna asked. When she had heard someone was at the door, she had gone to answer it, but finding Jasmine there had been one of the last things she had expected. "You've got a big date tonight right? I'll help you get ready," Jasmine said. "I-It's not a date…" Haruna muttered. She would've loved to call it a date, but she couldn't. Kanako hadn't said that, and it wasn't like it was unusual for them to be together on Christmas. "Although, this is our first one together in a long time," she thought.

"Whatever you say Haru-chi," Jasmine said. "Wait, how do you even know about today?" Haruna asked. "Chiyo told me," Jasmine answered. "She asked me to help ya out, so here I am… Plus… I think I kinda owe you Haru-chi." "Owe me?" Haruna repeated. "Yeah. I said somethin' I shouldn't have the other day," Jasmine said. "So I guess you could say this is my way of apologizing."

Of course, Haruna remembered exactly what Jasmine had said. Being told that Kanako might be just trying to figure out a way to reject her without hurting her had been something that had weighed on Haruna's mind for the last several days. She couldn't help but wonder if that really was the case, especially now. This was the other reason she didn't want to call this a date. What if it was just Kanako's way of letting Haruna down gently? Being reminded of Jasmine's words and her own doubts, it felt like all too real of a possibility.

Haruna appreciated Jasmine apologizing, but unfortunately that couldn't take back the words she had already said. They were stuck in Haruna's mind, continually making her question just how much hope she could put into the night she was going to spend together with Kanako. However, the fact did remain that there was still the chance that something could happen. Holding onto that chance, Haruna was entirely willing to do whatever she could to increase her odds of the getting the outcome she desired.

"Soo, ya gonna let me in? It's freezin' out here," Jasmine said, bringing Haruna back to the present. "Oh, right," she said, stepping aside. "Great," Jasmine said. "Ready to get started?" Thinking about it, Haruna was sure that no matter what she had come up with appearance-wise, it would probably pale in comparison to what Jasmine could do. So Haruna accepted the gal's help easily.

As Jasmine began sorting through the stuff in her own bag she had brought, Haruna watched. "You sure have a lot of stuff in there," she commented. "Well, I figured it'd be good to be prepared," Jasmine said. "Ah, here it is." Pulling out an outfit, Jasmine laid it down on the bed in Haruna's bedroom. As she watched, it made Haruna remember something.

"You know, you helped me get all dressed up before too," she said. "Yeah," Jasmine said. "I guess I'm just the kind of gal that likes getting girls looking good for dates." Haruna laughed. "Well thanks for the help anyways." "Sure, no problem."

Through one step then another, Jasmine went through the process of getting Haruna to wear the outfit she had brought, putting on the makeup and doing her hair. By the time she was done, Jasmine was rather satisfied with herself. "There. Take a look," she said. Haruna did as she was told, and looking in the mirror gave her a familiar feeling. "It really is hard to believe I can look like this," she said. "You look perfect Haru-chi," Jasmine said with a smile.

The night was set. The makeover was complete. Undeniably, Haruna was set for a memorable evening. And yet… "I hope it goes well…" she accidentally muttered aloud. Once again, she was struck by doubt. The distance she had been feeling, the doubts she had been having, and now the wonderings of what Kanako's true intentions might be all compounded each other. It seemed like no matter what Haruna did, she couldn't shake the feeling that things weren't going to go as she hoped.

"Geez, I'm so sorry Haru-chi," Jasmine suddenly said. Haruna turned to look at her. "Sorry for what?" she asked. "If I hadn't said that crap before, you probably wouldn't look so worried," Jasmine said. Looking back at the mirror, Haruna saw it was true. She definitely looked worried. "...It's not your fault," she said. "Honestly, I've been having doubts myself." "Doubts?" Jasmine repeated. Haruna nodded. "Not like I doubt my feelings, just… I don't know, it's hard to put into words."

Seeing how worried Haruna looked made Jasmine feel guilty. It was true that she had been asked by Chiyo to get Haruna date-ready, but to her, it was also a chance to make up for what she had said. Obviously, she knew she couldn't take back the words, so doing something to help counteract what she had said seemed like the best way to go. Unfortunately, it was also clear that it would take more than a makeover to get Haruna to stop worrying so much.

Before she knew it, Jasmine was wrapping her arms around her. It wasn't a tight hug, as she was careful not to ruin her own handiwork, but she still brought Haruna in close to try and comfort her. "J-Jasmine-chan?" Haruna said, very surprised to be getting a hug from her. When it came to the two gals, Chiyo was definitely the more intimate one. She'd hang all over someone and get up in their personal space all the time.

Serving as her opposite was Jasmine, who rarely got close enough to even touch. She had no aversion to being touched, as she had spent many nights in many beds with different guys, but being any degree of physical with a friend just felt different. However, as the year had gone on, Jasmine had noticed herself changing. The changes were small, but she had found herself wanting many things she hadn't before. One of those things was to be closer with her friends.

Between those feelings and her guilt, Jasmine felt it only natural to reach out to Haruna. She held her lightly, hoping that she could alleviate some of the worry she had created. "It's all gonna work out Haru-chi," she said softly. "I promise it will." "R-Really?" Haruna asked. "Yeah. If Kana-chan gets one good look at you tonight and still turns you down, then she's just hopeless. And stupid."

Haruna laughed as the two girls ended their embrace. "You know Jasmine-chan," she said. "I'm glad the two of us are getting closer. If you weren't around to help me out like this, I think I'd be in trouble. So thanks for being a good friend." This time, Jasmine's eyes went wide, and all she could do was turn away in embarrassment. "N-No problem…" she said shyly. "A-Anyways, I'm gonna get goin'. Good luck Haru-chi." "Sure. See you later. Oh, and happy holidays," Haruna said.

Jasmine turned and walked out of the room, heading down the stairs before going out the door and back out into the cold. As she did, she looked to her left and smirked. "Perfect timing," she said loud enough for the other girl to hear. At the neighbor's house, Chiyo turned. She had just come outside as well. Both gals walked down the walkways until they hit the sidewalk. They both stared at each other for a moment with a knowing smile on each of their faces, and then their hands went up high before clapping together.

"So how'd Kana-chan look?" Jasmine asked. "Like a perfect flower," Chiyo said. "What about Haru-chi?" "Stunning," Jasmine answered. "It's up to them now." "Yeah."

*****

The time on the clock told Kanako it was time. "Here we go," she said after a deep breath. She'd never felt more nervous in her life, but at the same time, she was beyond excited. Carrying those feelings with her, Kanako stepped outside. With one step and then two, she walked down toward the sidewalk, where the girl in her heart was waiting.

"H-Hi Haruna," she said sweetly. Hearing her name, Haruna turned to see Kanako… and immediately her jaw dropped. "Wha…" she let out. The girl that had stopped in front of her was not the Kanako she usually knew. For one, her regular ponytail had been switched out for a tight, braided bun. Her face stood out even more. Kanako's eyelashes caught Haruna's attention every time the girl blinked with how thick they were. Underneath those were the deep, beautiful blues of Kanako's eyes. Her cheeks had a bit of blush to them, and the cold air was already turning her small nose a touch red. Her lips shone, but not brightly, with a gentle pink.

Kanako's outfit also matched her perfectly. A skin-tight, white long sleeve shirt covered her top, and below that was a light blue pleated skirt that stopped halfway up on her thighs. Underneath was a pair of black tights, and covering her feet and nearly up to her knees was a pair of brown boots that hugged her legs. To keep her warm, she wore a white, fluffy scarf, and a simple black coat, currently held open.

As Haruna took in the sight of Kanako, the other girl did much the same. "Oh…" she had let out. Haruna's normally straight black hair had been put into waves, giving it plenty of volume. Her makeup had been done with precision, with it highlighting every feature. Haruna's eyes were a bit on the sharper side, but the eye shadow that had been put on gave them an alluring feel and brought out the green in her pupils. Her cheeks looked so smooth, and a faint red had been applied to her lips to make them noticeable.

As for her outfit, it was simple, but used her figure fantastically. For the top, she wore a black, long-sleeve shirt that exposed her shoulders. It had a band of white around the top part, and the top itself stuck to Haruna's shape just enough to be able to see it, but not to the point where the fabric was tight. Below was a pair of thin jeans, but the shade of blue they were matched perfectly with the shirt above, creating a simple, yet seductive and cool sort of aura. Finishing the ensemble was what look like a brand new pair of black and white tennis shoes, along with a forest green coat that carried a big, fluffy looking hood.

"You look great..."

"So pretty…"

Both Haruna and Kanako uttered their impressions at the same time. When they realized it, both of them blushed. "S-So, um," Kanako managed to say. "M-Merry Christmas Haruna." "Y-Yeah. Merry Christmas Kanako," Haruna said back. For a couple more moments, they stood in awkward silence until the taxi they had scheduled to pick them up arrived. Climbing in, Kanako gave the driver their destination.

Through the streets they went, and about ten minutes later, they arrived at the restaurant Kanako had said. Because Haruna had been the one invited, she had also let Kanako do all of the planning, so she had no idea what was going to happen. Of course, while going out to eat was pretty standard for a date, and Kanako had decided to do as much, the actual reservation she was currently holding was thanks to Chiyo, who had somehow managed to get them squeezed in.

The place was a small cafe, although the inside was decked out for the holidays. The staff all had on various Christmas hats, and plenty of people had been packed in. "Sure is crowded," Haruna commented. "Yeah…" Kanako sighed. She had wanted to go out to eat, but she had also known this was what she was going to have to deal with. "I know it's the holidays, but does everyone have to be out?" she wondered selfishly.

Luckily, their reservation was set and a table was already ready. Being seated, the two girls were both handed menus to look over. "So many of these options sound so good," Haruna said. "Y-Yes, I agree," Kanako said. "I think I might go with this pasta." "Yeah, I might do that too," Haruna said. "Oh hey, they have lime-flavored desserts here!" At that, Kanako laughed. "What?" Haruna said. "Nothing," Kanako said back with a smile.

She was happy. So over-the-moon happy. Even just hearing Haruna's love of lime made her giddy. "I can't believe we're really here. It won't be long now." Glancing up from her menu, Kanako stared at Haruna. "She really does look so gorgeous tonight…" It was rare to see Haruna dressed up, let alone to the degree that she was. Silently, Kanako was thankful to whoever helped make that happen.

Across from her, Haruna was anxious. Part of that was having Kanako look so beautiful in front of her, but there was also her lingering doubts. Selfishly, Haruna wanted to believe that Kanako had gotten dressed up for her, but it wasn't like it was weird to get dressed up to go out on a holiday. For all she knew, that was all Kanako was doing.

Softening the blow. Those words just kept echoing in Haruna's mind. It felt cruel to even think, but what if this whole night was just so Kanako could let her down easy? The thought alone felt unbearable, but unfortunately not out of the realm of possibility. After all, it's not like Kanako would do such a thing to be intentionally cruel. The cruelty would simply be a byproduct.

Haruna desperately wanted to enjoy the moment, but her doubts plagued her. For as much as she smiled, spoke lightly and soaked in Kanako's beauty, her doubts would not fade. Through the entirety of their meal, Haruna looked composed and pleasant on the outside, but on the inside, she was becoming more and more of a mess.

By the time they were done at the restaurant, Haruna couldn't shake her ill feelings. As they walked, Kanako looked at her phone, apparently trying to guide them to their next location. Haruna had no idea where that was, and part of her wished she did if for no other reason than to have something else to think about.

"That cafe was so good," Kanako said, breaking Haruna's train of worry. "Ah, yeah it was," she said. "I'm surprised you didn't get any of those lime-flavored desserts you pointed out," Kanako said. "W-Well, I guess I just didn't want any dessert," Haruna responded. In truth, she had wanted to try one. After all, it was a cafe she hadn't been to before, and the desserts did sound good. But, her mind had soured her appetite, so much so that just finishing the main dish she had ordered had been enough of a struggle.

While Haruna wrestled with her inner feelings, she and Kanako arrived at their next destination. "What… is this?" Haruna asked. It was a spot she didn't recognize. At least, she didn't think she did. Then again, when looking more closely… "Wait… isn't this one of the open plots of land in our neighborhood?" Kanako nodded. "Mhm. Sorry we had to walk all the way here though. I wish we could've taken a taxi, but they're just so busy tonight if you call without a reservation for their services."

Truthfully, Haruna hadn't even noticed the walk, which made her wonder if she had missed anything Kanako had said. "Hey, you didn't say anything did you?" Haruna asked. "Huh? No, it was quiet most of the way here… but it was a good quiet," Kanako said, adding that last part softly.

Haruna was relieved that she hadn't accidentally ignored Kanako, which allowed her to focus on the scene in front of her. "But seriously," she said. "I don't remember anything like this being here." In the formerly empty plot of land were now posts set up in the middle, creating a square shape. Strung around the top of them were Christmas lights, and in the middle of it all was a medium-sized tree, draped with lights and a few ornaments. "So this is what Chiyo was planning," Kanako thought.

*****

"C'mon big sis, we gotta hurry!" Chiyo cried. Her big plan was finally in motion. Later in the day, she was planning on going to Kanako's to help her get ready, and she had enlisted Jasmine to help out Haruna. But, before she could do that, Chiyo needed to set up the most important stage.

Her plan was simple, but was sure to be memorable. After Kanako had said there were no city-wide Christmas celebrations in Iwanai, Chiyo had decided she'd make one of her own. Sort of. Really, the best she could do was find an empty space and decorate it, but she was sure it'd work great. So, getting her big sister Chitose to help, the two of them had lugged out four wooden beams, some stuff to support them, lights, a long extension cord, a tree and some ornaments.

"Chi, I really appreciate what you're tryin' to do for those two, but ain't this a bit much?" Chitose said. She didn't mind helping out her little sister, but being out in the cold was something she didn't really want. "It's gotta be like, totally perfect for them! They've wait so long for this!" Chiyo said. "Besides, we're almost done now!" "I feel like I ended up doin' most of the work though," Chitose remarked. "I did work too!" Chiyo cried. "Yeah, yeah. Good job, Chi," Chitose said, rubbing her hand over Chiyo's head. "Eheheheh," the gal let out happily. Only with Chitose did Chiyo ever act like that.

After another half-hour, they had managed to finish. It was just in time too. "Ah, I need to get to Kana-chan's place!" Chiyo said. "Then let's get goin'. After all, I'd hate to see our hard work go to waste just because you were late," Chitose joked. So the two of them had gotten in the car, Chiyo grabbed her stuff that she needed from home, and she was off to help Kanako get ready for her big moment.

*****

Slowly, Haruna and Kanako walked over to the display. There was still snow on the ground around it, and it was continuing to fall from the clouds too. A more perfect stage could not have been had. Stopping next to the tree, Kanako took in the night. The gentle breeze. The rustling of the tree branches. Her own racing heart. All of it held significance, and they were all details she wanted to remember forever.

"This is really something," Haruna commented offhandedly. She didn't even really think about it. Her focus wasn't even on the scene in front of her eyes. Inside, Haruna's heart raced, but for a far different reason than Kanako's.

Ever since Haruna had confessed to Kanako, she had felt anxious. No one liked waiting, especially when that waiting was for an answer to a confession of love. But, Haruna wanted to be patient for Kanako. After all, the situation was new to both of them. Haruna had never been in love with a girl, and Kanako had certainly never been confessed to by one. It was only natural she'd need time to process that. However, little had Haruna known just how much time that would take.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks were gradually starting to turn into months. Haruna knew Kanako needed time to think, but… wasn't this too much? If it was too weird to date her because they were both girls, Kanako could just say that. If she wasn't interested, all she had to do was say no. And… if, on the off-chance she was interested… what was keeping her from saying yes?

It was from that question that Haruna's doubts had begun to form. At first, she perceived it in the form of distance, taking every action Kanako did and categorizing it into either "wanting to be closer" or "wanting to be further away." As Haruna did that, she had begun to notice the scales tipping to one side. It was the side of distance, of doubt. The more that got added to that side, the more the scale tipped, until finally Haruna was sure to at least some degree that Kanako was trying to maintain some amount of distance between the two of them.

Of course she would. Why would she want to get closer to Haruna? She had been terrible to Kanako in the past, and even though they were on better terms now, surely Kanako still held some animosity toward Haruna.

They had been in love with the same boy. No one ever really gets along with their competition. Even if Kanako said she didn't love Akio anymore, it was hard to believe she'd just forget those feelings of rivalry.

Haruna was a girl. Two girls dating wasn't as unusual as it once was, but for somewhere like a small town in Japan, it was bound to draw a lot of attention. Even if it wasn't, could Kanako ever accept the idea herself? It certainly wasn't normal, or at the very least, wasn't what was expected.

Doubt.

After doubt.

After doubt.

As the time had ticked by, it had also chipped away had Haruna's hope. She wanted to hang on desperately to the remainder that she had, but the words that echoed in her head knocked her off, causing her to lose her grip. "Soften the blow," it had been said. And now, here Haruna was.

The night had been great. Kanako looked wonderful. Haruna had even gotten to look nice herself thanks to Jasmine's help. They had ate at a nice cafe. They were standing under Christmas lights that were normally never there. It was nice. It was all… nice.

Haruna's legs shook. Her lips quivered. "This is it," she thought. "This is when…"

"Haruna," Kanako said. Slowly, Kanako's hands began to rise. They were going to take Haruna's, and under those lights, Kanako would pour out everything she felt for the girl in front of her. She had to be careful though. She wanted to make sure her words were in the proper order.

"I'm… so happy you and I got reconnected," she began. "It hasn't always been easy, but… I'm really glad to have you in my life again." As she spoke, Kanako's hands continued onward, searching for Haruna's. "A-And then, you c-confessed to me… honestly, it made me happy, but-"

"Stop."

The rest of Kanako's sentence was going to be, "but I wasn't sure how I felt at the time." She had planned to continue with explaining why it had taken her so long to give an answer, but before she could get to any of that, a voice had prevented it.

"I can't…" it said weakly, trembling. Kanako's hands froze in place. Her eyes bulged. Haruna, standing in front of her, basked in the warm glow of the lights overhead and snow slowly building on her shoulders, appeared to be on the verge of tears.

"I-I'm sorry, Kanako… but I don't think I can hear this..."

Haruna's doubt had plagued her. Over and over again, it whispered in her ear, telling her that she was never going to get the result she wanted. Eventually, it had become too hard to ignore. It had persisted and persisted, until finally, Haruna could fight against it no more. After all…

...if something like that sticks with you for so long, there must be some truth to it, right?

That was the conclusion Haruna had drawn, and now, everything that had been building up inside her was threaten to spill out.

"I mean… you're rejecting me, right?"

Stunned. Completely and utterly stunned. Kanako's breath caught in her throat. Her hands, which had been slowly rising, dropped back down to her sides. How could this be? How could Haruna think that? Doesn't she understand what's going on? Questions like that coursed through Kanako's head, but she was so frozen from the shock that all she could do was think, and that, even barely.

"I'm sorry… I just… I can't bear to hear you say it. It would just hurt too much…"

Haruna turned before she allowed a tear to fall. "Have a good night… Kanako…" And then, she began walking away. Forcing one leg to move in front of the other, Haruna moved farther and farther away from Kanako. To her surprise, while the first steps had been difficult, Haruna quickly found herself breaking into a run.

By the time Kanako wrapped her head around what was happening, Haruna was nearly to the sidewalk. "H-Haruna!" she cried, but the girl didn't stop and didn't look back. Kanako reached out her hand desperately, but it grasped nothing. In seconds, the girl she loved, the girl she desired, was out of sight.

"Haruna…" Kanako uttered. Slowly, a tear rolled down her cheek, then another. Each one came in singular succession, as if to amplify the girl's loneliness. "Hic.. gh… ugh…" she let out. Then, the strength left her legs, causing her to drop to her knees in the snow.

"W-Why… Haruna… why?" she squeaked out. Of course, she knew why. Kanako knew. When she had gotten that foreboding feeling that she was running out of time, she should've just confessed then and there. Instead, she had waited, wanting that perfect moment.

And now, it had cost her dearly.

Sitting in the snow, Kanako looked up to the sky. The snow was still falling, but it felt colder than before. The flakes that landed on her face melted and mixed with the tears now streaming down her cheeks. "Nk… hn… gh…"

The Christmas confession, the one that was supposed to be perfect, failed.

End of Chapter Nineteen.