4. His Habitual Humoring

"YOU KNOW…I CAN'T KEEP ADDRESSING YOU AS 'OLD LADY' IN MY HEAD," came Luffy's brainless remark. The sheer stupidity cut through the cabin like a knife. Law had grown accustomed to the exposure therapy at this point, and so this time, he only flinched.

The dark-skinned woman in the window seat to Luffy simply chuckled. "I fully expected you to leave this plane and not even know my name," she teased, undisturbed by Luffy addressing her as a senior citizen in his head. "My name is Ramona," she supplied, "this is my son Theodore."

Luffy tried his best to pronounce it, but he could only utter, "Teo? I'll just call you Teo, then!"

The little boy seemed offended. "My name is Theo!"

Luffy laughed obliviously, as the little boy's face turned red. It took considerable effort, considering his complexion was already so dark. Ramona pat his head, as if to tell him to calm down.

"It's a difficult name to pronounce for Portuguese speakers, I know," she said, laughing. Luffy truly didn't like the amount of effort it took him to pronounce such a name too, he much preferred being able to say their name as quickly as possible, in case of an emergency. Like if he needed to ask him to pass him some meat. Or to get out of his way so he could reach some meat. Or that the plane was crashing.

Theo simply grunted, while Ramona smiled calmly at Luffy. "My husband is Brazilian too."

Luffy seemed uninterested by this news about a man who wasn't there. Her next words however, intrigued him. "Meanwhile, I'm from the Caribbean. Have you ever tasted pudding?"

Luffy frowned. "Hah? Does it have meat?" It sounded like something Sanji had made before, but Luffy never got to taste it.

"You're this old but you're so stupid, haha!" Theo laughed loudly, and Ramona whacked him over the head.

"You're really getting more and more comfortable. Apologize to Luffy this instant."

Theo cried 'sorry', sweating so profusely it was enough to fill a dam. Luffy merely laughed, and asked what this pudding was. Law listened idly, as the woman—Ramona, was it—spoke about the ingredients needed to make a sweet potato pudding. She shared some other recipes, such as coconut macaroons, and bread pudding, and something about a cake—but Luffy's reply was harmlessly perfunctory each time. He simply replied that he was too impatient to cook anything, and it was all wasted on him. Instead, he exchanged contacts with her, and said something about passing on her recipes to a friend who would do his cooking for him.

Law heard these words in a blurry daze, but none of those words were absorbed by his befuddled mind. Soon tuned everything out, lulled by the white noises coming from his earphones. Soon, his lids were inextricable from his lower eyelashes, and soundlessly, he drifted to sleep.

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"...-ike any refreshments? A snack?" came a voice. Law peeled his eyes open groggily, and he came face to face with the same flight attendant from earlier who had first attempted to make an announcement. Her dark brown pony-tail swished, and she smiled politely, waiting for him to answer.

Law squinted at the coffee on her tray, neatly contained in a small, travel-sized packet. He could just hear the sound of his fingers being grated off, as Lami's deadly eyes glared at him. Just staring at the instant coffee pouch, Law felt his heart pound wildly in trepidation. Awkwardly he cleared his throat. "Just water," he rasped, his throat dry from his nap.

She handed him a bottle, and he took a sip as his eyes erred sideways.

Outside, through the window, he could see the sun was slowly creeping west, but it hadn't fully crossed overhead. It must have been minutes to 12—and a quick glance at the monitor in front of him told law that he wasn't far off. He smirked to himself, pleased with his own intuition, when there was a loud yelp from his right.

"HAHHHHhhh? I can only get 2?"

Law's eyelid twitched.

Straw Hat.

" I'm sorry, but each passenger can only take up to 2 snacks, Sir," came the flight attendant's politely distant voice, but Luffy was too distraught to concede.

"Then—then can I at least get half of a snack? Or a really small one?"

The employee stared at him dubiously. Luffy persisted.

"Or any leftovers? See, the old guy right here didn't take any. Can I get his?"

Law blinked back at the flight attendant, who had turned to him expectantly. Law felt tht he was constantly being forced into playing the bigger person whenever that kid opened his mouth. He sighed and said, "I don't care." Law knew they'd be coming around a second time anyways.

Wordlessly she handed two extra snacks to Luffy, and they instantly stuck to his palms, like a magnet. Luffy burst open a bag and downed its contents—caramel popcorn—like he was chugging liquor. He threw his head back so far his adam's apple protruded as he gulped like he was drinking water. Law didn't want to believe it, but he didn't think Straw Hat was even chewing.

Without even asking the flight attendant, he grabbed a bottle of water from her tray. She stared at him bewildered, before moving onto the next row. Law didn't want to dwell on that exchange for too long. Any longer and he might actually request a seat change.

Maybe he could learn a thing or two from the wealthy passengers in the front who displaced them all—if all it took was a glance from that creature up front to rearrange the entire plane, he'd gladly direct Mucus-Man's eyes to wherever Luffy was sitting.

Suddenly, to his left, Shakky glanced at him meaningfully, before she got up. Law pulled out his earphones and rose to his full height as he stood in the middle of the aisle. Shakky walked past him, briefly smelling of alcohol. He watched her figure retreat towards the bathroom at the front of the plane—not before giving Mucinex a quick once-over, and smirking subtly.

When Law turned to sit back down, he felt Straw Hat's gaze on him. But when he turned around, the young man had already turned his head and was too busy talking to Ramona about Bahian seasonings.

Again, Law chose not to dwell on it, and once Shakky came back from the bathroom smelling faintly of cigarettes, Law chose the former once again. Smoking on a commercial flight, rich passengers suddenly pushing other passengers around, a strange, gluttonous young man, an island with only 20 flights per year—Law decided not to dwell on any of it. He willed himself to sleep, as if his vacation depended on it.

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Bzzzz

Law awoke to the vibration of his phone.

He groggily peeled open his eyes. The cabin was cold, and outside, the sky was dark. When he glanced at the low-brightness screen before him, Law registered that it was merely 6 o clock. However, in the winter the sun set earlier. The entire cabin felt frigid, and only soft murmuring filtered into his ears intermittently. The plane hummed a subdued staccato, and faintly he could hear some speaking up front. Besides a few reading lights switched on by passengers who were awake, or perhaps those who were afraid of the dark, the entire space was filled with ambient low-light and a cool, flow of air. These quiet moments of flights were among Law's favorites.

He unlocked his phone to see an SMS from his father at 10pm.

[Meddlesome Old Man: Why aren't you wearing the watch? Shall I parachute onto your plane and slap it on myself?]

Law was only comforted by the fact that Cora-san really was too broke to do that.

There was another message sent 1 hour later. Perhaps he had realized Law was asleep.

[Meddlesome Old Man: What if I told you Lammy bought that watch with a 2000% interest rate loan from the bank? She used the house, her kidneys—your dad as collateral. They'll take me away if you don't wear it, son. Save me, ah?~]

Law tsked at the obvious guilt tripping.

Of course he hadn't worn the watch. Was he a fool?

Besides the fact that it was stuffy and he didn't like wearing accessories (besides his earrings), Law very much hated how tacky the thing sounded when it turned on. What YCX? When he found out what it stood for, he wanted to get his stomach pumped—"Your Corazon X". When Lammy had said it was customizable, Law didn't know that meant you could even give the watch it's own start-up jingle. That obnoxious Dududu had also been selected by his dad.

Coincidentally, the assistant on the watch's name was Lami, but with an 'i' instead of a 'y'. If this wasn't some kind of government surveillance, (except the government was run solely by his two family members), then what was it? 1984? The Panopticon?

He disdainfully glanced at his bag in front of him—in the side pocket was his Your Corazon, X . Law dryly thought to himself—perhaps Corazon left off the xo because he had reached the character limit. It served him right.

Law glanced at the latest text message, sent 1 hour ago. In between the time that had passed, it seemed his father finally regained some of his sanity.

[Meddlesome Old Man: We're worried. Call me when you've landed and you're settled. Love you~]

Then it was followed by 2 cartoon gifs of a big heart hugging a smaller one.

Law couldn;t help the crack in his face, as the corner of his lip curled upwards. He reached down, opened his bag, and fastened the watch to his wrist. With his phone, he snapped a blurry photo of the watch tightly fixed around his hand. His reply was a simple message.

[Trafalgar Law: Next time only use yourself as collateral.][watch.jpg]

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In the last 2 hours of the flight, the flight attendants resurfaced with some immigration forms for the passengers to fill out. Law faintly remembered reading up on this—Poeniro had a strict tourism and immigration policy, but the only thing of import on the website was that they would be deported if they violated any of the environmental regulations. What he hadn;t expected to see, was a list as intricate and extensive as this.

PONEIRO ISLAND DEPARTMENT OF TOURISM, IN COLLABORATION WITH THE MINISTRY OF FLORA, FAUNA, AGRICULTURE AND FISHERIES (MOFAF)

The agriculture and fisheries hinted that the island had some level of exportation, but Law had seen nothing of this on the website. Wherever exports they made must have been very minor.

He continued to read the immigration form.

Besides the information requesting his passport number, name, address, and contact info for his next of kins—all of which he was certain they already knew, Law scanned the thick paragraph of text below all the blank boxes.

I acknowledge that any injuries sustained while partaking in adventure tourism—whether fatal or minor, or even any eventual death as a direct or indirect result of such activities is not the liability of the Bischoff Adventure Resort, or of the Poneiro Island Government. Law paused at the word Bischoff. He felt stupid. He remembered looking at the man at the front of the plane, jet black hair, trail of snot, rotund, pot-bellied. He was a Bischoff.

Law knew this family very well—as well as he knew the structure of the heart, or the structure of the surrounding downtown area where his hospital was situated. How couldn't he? The Bischoffs owned the only major hospital in the area—the one he worked at. It was known as Trust Hospital, the epithet a clear residue of when the hospital had been government-owned, and catered to the surrounding community. Law didn't like to dwell on how much it had changed since he completed his residency. He comforted himself in solely doing his job—the Bischoff name hardly even pervaded his every-day life.

The hospital simply had a change of hands, and a major shareholder now checked in occasionally on its profits, then disappeared to go run its other subsidiaries. You couldn't ask Law which subsidiaries those were—there were too many. If the expression jack of all trades—squanderer of none had a face, it would be the Bischoffs. If you were a living breathing creature, you could trust that you have intersected with one of their companies at least once. Now, Law stared at the pitch black head that was swaying slightly to the front of the plane. Law had never seen the Bischoff spawns himself—only Beelzebub, in a short glimpse, but truly they looked nothing alike. The only resemblance was the rotund body, the droopy eyes, and the signature pitch-black hair. Now it all made sense.

Something told Law, he wasn't going to enjoy this trip very much. But he didn't need this moment alone to tell him that. He glanced back at the form.

I acknowledge that if found harming or endangering any of the flora and/or fauna of the island, whether indigenous or not, Intentionally or not, on more than one occasion, will warrant immediate deportation to the nearest neighboring mainland island of Papua New Guinea, and fine of up to 100,000 USD.I understand that I will be incarcerated in a detention centre until trial, or until bailed, and that effective immediately upon the resolution of a guilty verdict, I will be permanently blacklisted from the island and all surrounding territories within a 100km radius from the island's capital, Alafia.

Law read through some more, but most of it was related to the preservation of wild-life, and other standard legal issues such as food allergies, poisoning, etc. Perhaps because so many passengers were signed up by family and rarely directly, such procedures had to be made. Attached was also a waiver for the resort itself, and Law felt his throat tighten when he read the words Bischoff Group in the footer of the contract. Conveniently, the website mentioned nothing of this explicitly. Maybe it did if he did enough looking. He had foolishly thought theresort was run by the government. How silly was that.

To his right Straw Hat was signing at the speed of light, Every line he saw he signed, to the point that he even signed the line of one of the dividers to the heading. Satisfied with his speed, he glanced up. Their gazes met.

Law noticed the four empty bag of snacks in the pouch of the seat before Straw Hat, then glanced back at the young man. Luffy only chuckled and leaned forward, "I have said thank you so many times today! Maybe that should just be your name, haha!"

Law silently considered telling the young man his name. He settled for, "It's Trafalgar Law; don't go around christening people."

Straw Hat chuckled, but mainly because this old man used funny words sometimes. "Torao?"

Law stared at the young man for some time. "Trafalgar."

Luffy giggled. "That's what I said! You're funny, Tra-guy!"

[BP Levels, suddenly spiking] Came the abrupt interruption from the wrist watch. Luffy looked on, his eyes alight with fascination, while Law's eyes widened, mortified. Clumsily he fumbled to lower the volume.

[BP levels pushing 124/82, Please consult the assistant for ways to lower your blood pressure. Please add a medical professional to the emergency line—go to system setti-]

The voice ended abruptly, and made another abhorrent dududu as it died. Law had switched it off.

Luffy looked on for a few stunned milliseconds, before his eyes lit up. They danced and sparkled. "Hey, Torao, what was that just now? Is it a robot?! Can I see!?"

Law ignored him, and grumpily turned the watch back on. The dududu was mocking him at this point. There had to be a way to turn down the audio so it wasn't so damn embarrassing to wear. If Lammy was gonna saw his fingers off, at the very least he'd use his remaining stubs to rip Corazon a new one.

On cue, someone's voice sounded over the intercom. "Attention all passengers, please fasten your seatbelts and observe the seatbelt lights overhead as we ease into our final descent. I repeat, please keep your seatbelts fastened at all times, and please refrain from getting up or using the restrooms. Click. "

Law felt his chest lighten in relief. He ignored the young man next to him who kept looking at him like a dog that wanted a bone. Law resolved silently that as soon as he landed, he would check to make sure he and Straw Hat were floors, acres, universes apart. The young man, oblivious to this resolve, laughed and said, "Hehe, I hope we can become friends! Maybe then you'll show me your cool watch!"

Law listened on, like a grandson humoring the ramblings of his senile grandfather. He said nothing, and if you asked him, he heard nothing too.