Star of self

Behind the cabin, under a hay-made stable, she saw him. His fur was black as night, and when he saw Natalia, air puffed through his nostrils. The animal was not used to strangers and he was stressed.

Beside him, there was a single horse-pulled cart. Natalia laid down the goods on it and waited for the others. And soon enough, Cartern and Pacificia came.

"His name is Vaganann," Cartern said as he picked up the harness. Vaganann stood silent as the man tightened the harness around his stomach. Natalia walked around the horse, as she looked at it. Its tail swatted away the flies, and she saw its ears twitch. She saw its ribs were sunken into his skin. "You are also hungry, right?" she thought. She still held the book under her shirt.

When the harness was tightened, the reins were fixed, the cart was fitted, and they were ready to leave. Natalia got in the cart first. She helped Cartern load the goods for the smith. "Coal and iron for the oven," he had said. And then Paciificia got in with Natalia's help. The girl could only use one hand for the deed and when Pacificia sat down, the old lady kept staring at her.

When the cart started to move. She asked, "you didn't place it back, did you?"

Natalia hugged her chest, and the hem of that book sunk into her skin; along with guilt. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just . . . I thought if I looked long into it, I might be able to understand."

Pacificia scratched her hair. "That doesn't mean that you can steal." She turned to Cartern. "Place one more thing in my tab," she said.

Cartern turned for a moment, and then his eyes went back towards the way. "What did she take?"

Pacificia's eyes glanced at the girl. "A book it seems."

Cartern chuckled. "Do you think books are worth anything in this world?" he asked. "She can have it."

But Pacificia was not having it. "The world is already in rots, and I don't want her to think that stealing is okay. Tell me a price."

Cartern sighed. "Well, guess five chrons will do."

Pacificia nodded. "Now that you know that, you will have to pay for it later," she said and extended her arm. "Now, let's see what you have hiding."

She had stolen and now she was caught. She pulled out the book from under her shirt guiltily and placed it on Pacificia's hand. "The star of self?" she frowned. "Why did you take this?"

Between the slow rolling of wheels, Cartern heard it. "A philosophy text," he chuckled. "Thank you for taking it away."

Natalia turned her head to him and back to Pacificia. "What did he mean?" it was almost a whisper.

"He meant what he said," Paciificia said waving the book. "it's a book about the seven corners of faith."

"And no one has faith in these times," Cartern added.

But still, she wanted to know. "Just tell me what it says," she insisted.

Pacificia raised her brow. "Don't forget that you have stolen this thing, girl," she warned. "I will give a gist of what it says, and I will show the alphabet. For the rest, you are on your own."

When Pacificia went and sat by her side, Pacificia started to speak without even opening the book. "See this, girl," she said touching the seven-pointed star on the cover. "The center of it," she touched the circle that connected the seven points of the star. "It represents self."

She had only started to speak, and it had already started to bore her. Perhaps, learning was not something that was meant for Natalia. "The seven points of the star represent the various aspects of self: logic, emotion, ethics, heart, mind, strength, and energy.

"We use logic to derive a solution, and sometimes a logical solution might not be the true solution. Our emotions also affect the way we perceive the said problem. Ethics creates a balance between the two. Our heart and mind work together to transmit the said solution throughout the body, and strength and energy help us In executing them."

"Sounds like it's all hoot," Natalia said.

"They are not," Paciificia countered. "This is how it all works. Every problem that we face, is solved by using our thoughts or knowledge and executed using our body, isn't it?"

Natalia was just a thirteen-year-old girl. She hadn't seen the world, and she never has thought about things like these. "If I knew how to read, I might've picked up a storybook," she thought silently.

Pacificia continued. "You might think all this as boring, but these words – they represented the council of the White king . . . or, they had represented."

"White king?" Natalia tilted her head.

"The White king governs the whole of Astrea," she said sombrely. "No one knows what happened to the last king and his family, but there are rumors that Plague killed them."

A shiver ran through Natalia's spine. If Plague killed the most powerful man in the country, and he is now hunting them, what hope does she have?

After that, she opened the book and by uttering sounds, Pacificia pointed to each letter. "Now, try reading the first page," she instructed.

And it was impossible for her. She tried to go through it, and after some time, she wanted to close the book and sleep. But Paciificia kept her watch on her. "You took that thing, and now, you will finish," she said with her eyes.

Hours went by, and the sun was sweltering. In the meantime, Pacificia filtered the water using sand. When they passed near a stream, she had refilled her canteen. Natalia was tired and so she leaned her back to the cart. "See that," Cartern pointed. "Those are the Basalt ranges."

To the north, with one of them fisted to the sky. "The middle one is Smordon. The great city of Rubrea was under it."

"Was," she noted again. "Just like her home. Just like every place where Plague and his Blight men had touched."

"Well girl," Cartern snapped the rein. "You can stop reading that book now. We are almost there."