Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Brittany -

‘What about in bed? Would that mean I could never, you know, that I could never take charge?’

Dani: ‘See, that can depend. Everyone is different. Some people hold onto their position all the time. Personally, for me, sex is sex. I like to be on top as much as I like laying back while someone has their way with me. It's not about who's Dominant or submissive. It's hot, sometimes kinky sex. Two Tops could have sex, two bottoms, any combination.’

‘Ok, yeah, I get that.’

Dani: ‘Sometimes, it's all about sex. Some people only want the orgasm. Some are only interested in letting this side out every now and then. Some, practice dynamics in every part of their life possible, but it depends on how you negotiate it though.’

‘What do you mean?’

Dani: ‘Well, first off, a lot of people have multiple relationships. Like a romantic one, maybe a marriage even, with a separate dynamic. They agree on terms that both primary partners are ok with. Like if a couple has children, they may say the dynamic can in no way interfere with the family. Maybe the other partner in the dynamic can be around the children, but only as a family friend. Some want it totally separate. So, you negotiate what is and isn't ok to be involved. Like for you, you could say, if you enter a dynamic on the bottom side, that the Top, maybe me, can't interfere with your school. So if you need to study, you are left alone, you can't be made to feel bad, or pressured. That's the way it is no matter what. A good Top, wouldn't need to be told that, but it covers your ass if you ever need it.’

‘That makes sense. So what if, it's romantic and dynamic? Like if I dated my Dominant...’

Dani: ‘That's very common too. Everyone is different, some are in a dynamic that grows into a romantic relationship, some are the opposite, some start with both. I've found, for me, if there's an attraction for both kinds of relationships, you start with the romantic. Get to know each other, develop a good foundation and maybe include some play or kinky sexual aspects, but wait on advancing it.’

‘What would it eventually advance to?’

Dani: ‘Well, many Dominants want to put protocols in place. Like I prefer someone serving me to always be on my right. When walking, eating, anything. I use my right hand most, so I would hand things to them with my right, I would grab them with my right, or push you out of the way if I thought you were in danger. Well, you or anyone, I mean, but having guidelines on how things are done. Like how you respond around others and all sorts of things.’

‘So special things? Just for the two of you?’

Dani: ‘Very special. Exchanging good energy with someone is always special. Protocols and rituals, make it even better. Some may say a certain greeting is no big deal, but it can mean the world when you've missed your partner. Even as simple as a kiss on your forehead, hands on your shoulders, and being told something like, hello my good girl. You're addressed as being theirs, and a good girl. Held, and kissed to offer comfort and the feeling of being in their grip. The same greeting if you were apart for just a few hours, or for days.’

‘I get it, I think. It's about the same thing over and over. No matter what's going on, always the same. So it offers comfort. It sounds so soothing, so reassuring.’

Dani: ‘Yep, that's the idea and the beauty of it.’

‘What else would we do? Or...I mean...what else can you do? Eh-examples.’