Chapter 7_-_ Lose control

"I'm sorry"

Sam didn't waste a second to go after Sophie. He was afraid he was going to lose her even before he got her.

More afraid than humiliating her in public apparently.

"I'm not mad... I'm just..." Said Sophie continuing fixing her studio.

"I'm sorry... I don't know how to be strong against their words. I don't know how to protect you and that scares me... I don't know what I want..." Said Sam having none of what Sophie was trying to tell him. He had to get it out of his chest.

He just wanted to come clean and maybe that would boost their relationship.

Honesty.

The one thing he always feel is needed by Sophie in their relationship and it's the one thing really hard to deliver for him.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry I can't make up my mind with you but, I do... uh, like... I want you... yet, I don't? I don't want to smear your name with my sissy claws but I like us..." Explained Sam with a frown since he, himself realized that he wasn't making any sense, "I'm sorry that I may be doing this with ulterior motives"

"Oh Sammy_"

"No, Sophie. You need to listen to my nonsense first"

"We can always sit down while you're going at it, you know" Said Sophie smiling at him. All warm and loving.

"I'm scared of being different... My whole life!. I was different and that's hell. You see, I'm not your typical boyfriend... I... I love flowers"

"You do huh?"

"I actually enjoy arranging them with my mommy... and I know it's embarrassing to have someone like that for a boyfriend_"

"No it's not"

"I appreciate the vote of confidence but, can you let me finish whatever this is before your motivational speech?"

"Sassy bitch"

"See?"

"What did I do now?"

"Just you calling me a Sassy bitch made me melt!"

"Oh yeah?" Asked Sophie looking so turned on that it was scary for Sam.

"No kisses Sophie! I came here to clear my conscience"

"Then go ahead" Said Sophie holding onto his hands instead, playing the looking at everything but, him game. She was thirsty.

"Sophie... Do you know that I got hard today?"

"Oh you did!?" Croaked Sophie clearly forcing herself to stay at the present.

"Yeah and it's uhmm..." Said Sam hiding his face into their joined hands, "Amazing!"

"Is that why you agreed to date me?"

"One of the reasons but, yeah it did play a major part in it and I'm sorry" Said Sam still in the same position so it came out muffled.

"I got my reasons too for chasing after you so no big deal"

"Whatever they are, I don't think you'll ever go into a relationship just to shut people up! You're not like that... I wanted for us to date because I wanted to see if I could... you know?"

"If you could what?"

"If I could have sex with a woman... If I'm even straight?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"It's stupid"

"Are you homophobic or something?"

"I'm just not thrilled about being gay!. I'm really not gay but, it's what I perceive to the world... Bright colored clothes, a diva personality, a small dick... I once tried to get it on with a boy before but, it was a disaster"

"So that helped you clear that you like women?" Sneered Sophie trying to retract her hands in his which got hard since Sam just couldn't let her go.

"I like you!" Said Sam, really meaning it.

"Honey, first of all being gay is not an abnormality and second? You could just tell me that you wanted to try it with me without labeling anything" Said Sophie raising his head up to look at his face, "I want you in any way I can get you, get it?"

"Except for being an homophobic?" Joked Sam destroying the moment, "Oh, and friends"

"If it's with benefit then I'm game"

"People are going to talk, Sophie"

"People always judge. What hurts is how you criticize yourself... How you see yourself"

"I..."

"Let's have sex tonight and see if you want more from me than being your experiment subject"

"You're not my experiment subject" Denied Sam but, all he got from Sophie was a smile.

"You think I'm lying?"

"I think you need this as much as I do"

"But, I don't!"

"What is it?" Asked Sophie softly like she was asking a little wounded baby.

"I'm afraid of being a laughingstock to you or worst you becoming miserable in our relationship"

"Why are so afraid of my opinion?"

"Because, you want me so much and I'm afraid of disappointing you. Sophie, you're just perfect and probably had sex with tons of blessed men out there" Admitted Sam embarrasedly.

"Can't go ahead and lie that I don't have quite a list of amazing sex in my life"

"Gee, Thanks" Mumbled Sam

"...But, with that I believe I have all the rights, powers and am entitled to tell you that the size of your dick doesn't matter when it comes to sex or satisfying your partner"

"It doesn't?"

"Fuck no! Where did you hear that one from?"

"Everyone I know?"

"Poor Sammy" Cooed Sophie before, her face became determined, "What did you think about when you got hard earlier?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes seriously"

"Your lips"

"Doing what exactly?"

"Kissing me?"

"Where? How? Be specific please" Said Sophie caressing Sam any place she could.

"At my nape... Shoulders... trailing along my spine with butterfly kisses... licking, biting, sucking_" Replied Sam before swallowing his saliva and squeezing his legs together slightly.

"Are you hard again right now?" Whispered Sophie.

"Yes" Whimpered Sam but, he was too horny to feel embarrassed.

He really wanted to apply pressure down there though because, the feeling was mindblowing. He could only gasp and squeezing her hand.

"What if I say all I want is to watch you play with your dick instead, maybe just untill you shoot your sperms on my tits?" Suggested Sophie licking her bottom lip, eyes locked to Sam's glassy ones.

"I.. It can be arranged"

"Are you still hard?"

"Painfully yes"

"What if I want to see it now?"

"Like right now?"

"Yes now" Insisted Sophie playing with his zip on the tracksuit jacket.

"Here? The door..." Trailed off Sam when he saw how much serious she was with that.

"Strip" Commanded Sophie going to close the door leisurely.

"Naked?"

"Let me see all of you, Sugar... Please?"

"Okay"

Sam didn't know what exactly he was doing or why but, it was so thrilling and an adrenaline rush experience for sure. His heartbeat was like running a mile per second on his chest.

"Hold your balls baby... Exactly like that" Instructed Sophie returning to sit opposite to Sam, majestically.

"What're you doing?" Asked Sam when he saw her simply eye fucking him.

"Living your fantasy" Replied Sophie casually before going to kneel behind where he was still seated.

"Sophie...." Whimpered Sam shyly but, he wasn't put off by that. He was actually excited.

"Baby, you're the most beautiful human being to ever be on earth" Whispered Sophie holding the shuddering Sam back to her as he kissed him at his nape tenderly.

"You're making me lose control darling... Bad boy" Commented Sophie, voice full of lust.

"I can't help it" Whispered Sam, breathlessly gasping for air.

"What's your limit when it comes to sex?" Asked Sophie twerking his nipples after she bite his shoulder making him grunt in pleasure.

"Anal plays? I tried once and... It's just not me" Said Sam, absentmindedly.

"Good" Replied Sophie going for his balls. Playing with them making him groaning, throwing his head back to her. Immersed in pleasure.

"Unghh... Sophie" Cried Sam with a high pitched voice, obliviously.

"Look at it leaking prematurely" Chuckled Sophie, slapping the thing lightly.

"I like this" Said Sam not sure if she needed the feedback.

"I know" Said Sophie looking at Sam's side view before, kissing him on the lips, "How about we take it as a one night stand?"

"We both know you could make me come with only a flick of your hand right now" Breathed Sam.

"But, I don't want to... I don't want our first time being in a place like this" Said Sophie and abruptly retracting all contacts with Sam making him groan in yearning.

"Let me give you your options before we go any further... You didn't get hard before because, you were always in your head, fearing that your dick is small, if it can get hard, if it could satisfy her..."

"What're you saying?"

"I'm giving you the easy way out here. If you still want your girl just tell her to be more vocal during sex and make you focus on her"

"I don't want the easiest way out, Sophie. I want us to work. Weird as it may sound but, I like your bossy attitude"

"No, you didn't!"

"What?"

"You just fucking called me bossy!"

"I did?"

"Never call a woman bossy! Didn't your mama taught you that?"

"She was busy knitting during the lesson" Replied Sam dryly making Sophie laugh.

He didn't know that life could be like that. He could get into mood for sex just like everybody else and not get off and still feel amazing and satisfied.

If he was a diary kind of person that day would have been his most dramatic pen ship entry ever!.

Sophie made him feel like a man without changing a single fucking thing in or on him. She simply made him be there in the present and just feel.