Chapter 3_-_ My boyfriend

Waking up for work was one of his best moments since growing up. You see it gave him a sense of independence, security... and a little bit of masculinity if it makes sense but, that day he felt scared. Bone chilling scared.

So scared of people's murmurs, mockery looks, insults in the name of a joke... He wasn't even ready to open up the window and have to see the sun's smile.

He knew he was different from the start. Who isn't?. His mother once said that it was the difference that made him beautiful to her but, what does she know? She's not him. No offense.

His father told him so countless times and sometimes even with the help of his belt and a stick. He got laughed at and bullied by his two brothers for it, He was made fun of at school by his classmates because of the same damn thing... You'd think he'd be used to it by that time but, no. He was still scared.

The world's negative opinion of him still scares the shit out of him.

And with Tracy oversharing his personal information known as shortcomings the day before shattered his weak confidence altogether.

He didn't take it as a secret but, that was still not something she could share with the whole world. It wasn't her place nor a necessity in that crowd.

He can't even hate her because, for four years he got to ride on a normal man bus and loved the silence. Now, how's he ever going to face the world after that?.

"Sam?"

He heard his mother behind the door after her infamous three quick knocks. That, he was used to. The very idea of her was enough to bring a smile to his face. His crazy mother.

"I'm up"

"Can I come in for a minute?"

"Alright" Replied Sam taking a sitting position, "When did you learn how to knock?"

"Since the day I walked in on Hazel and her male-buddy getting it on last year... Hey, baby" Greeted his mother before setting down the tray she was holding and going to tie up the blinds to allow sunlight to touch his room.

"Morning Ma" Greeted Sam turning to the other side.

"Had a goodnight sleep?"

Hummed Sam, "Where's too too? I didn't see him anywhere last night"

"Aren't you too old to have a doll on your bed?" Asked his mother slightly frowning.

That was exactly what he said the first time Tracy entered his room and laughed at it. She called it an overgrown children's room.

"...I boxed it up along with your comics and donated them... You still wanted them?" Asked his mother coming to sit on the bed.

"No..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About a doll?"

"The reason for your break up with Tracy, of course"

"No"

"Are you shy, young creature?"

"No, I'm not... it's just weird and not comfortable for me to discuss the size of my penis with my mother and how it screwed up my life!"

"What's wrong with your penis?"

"God, I hate how thick skinned you can get"

"No, you don't and it's okay if you don't want to talk about it but, will you be okay going to work today like this? You look awful, child"

"Awful? That's the most offensive line that my beautiful soul ever came across with in this world!" Gasped Sam, feigning being upset about it, "Plus, work is much better than sulking here and feel sorry for myself all day"

"You are so brave, child. I admire that from you" Said his mother softly, "Alright then, come out to eat after freshening up, okay?"

"You even cooked breakfast for me? You shouldn't have"

"It gets boring eating by myself... I even forgets to eat breakfast nowadays. Thank God you got dumped before I died from this boredom"

"Skiping meals is not good for your health, Ma and I thought you were living with aunt Hazel?"

"Hazel? You're seriously counting on that workaholic, s3x driven maniac to take care of your mother?"

"And here I thought I wouldn't get to see you in one of these..."

"Classics?"

"Undefined type of clothes that you have on, in her care. But... There goes my dreams and hopes"

"Like you even know how it feels like wearing your own creations! Mr mismatching socks"

"Ma..."

"What?"

"I can't lose you too" Said Sam, hugging his mother tightly willing her to understand him without saying anything as she always do.

"Relax, I know my limits so you won't have to worry about me... here"

"What is it?... Vitamins?!"

"Yes, vitamins... Now, drink some water... here" Said the mother before handing him the glass of water, "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

What is he ever going to need? Everything was exactly as how he left them in his room, more over, he even found new clothes in his closet, majority with bright colors just like the ones he used to wear before Tracy came along.

His favorite days...

But, was he ready to live like that again? It was a lonely, scary, painful life back then but, yes... he was happy, free, feeling beautiful in them, content even.

He got so used to hiding himself and pretending to be someone else to the point where even the list of what truly makes him happy requires some googling.

"How's it?" Asked his mother after he spoon fed him.

"It's delicious! I missed your food so much!" Gushed Sam taking the spoon from her so he can dig in his plate.

"Just my food?"

"All of this, Mommy" Said Sam excitedly before, he saw her expression, "What's wrong?"

"You called me Mommy, child"

"You don't like that?"

"Are you kidding? I missed you calling me that for years!"

"Mommy?"

"Oh, Samwell my child... what happened to you? To us?"

"No tears to cry in the morning, remember?!"

"What are tears, again?" Asked the mother while drying her eyes with the back of her hands, "Maybe I should save these tears for when I go to Ricky's birthday party tonight"

"Oh..."

"Yeah... Did you know that his wife gave birth to a baby girl last month?"

"Another one?... He's not gonna be happy about it for a long time to come"

"He's alright. Oh, and he was asking for your contacts the other day when we talked on the phone and I kind of told him that you were at home"

"Did you give them to him?"

"I told him that I'd have to ask you first"

"Good because, I don't want anything to do with them anymore"

"I know he had hurt you before... Honey, we all did. Can't you just_"

"I'm sorry Mommy but, I can't. And I'm late for work" Interrupted Sam before, standing up with the plates to put in the sink.

"Don't forget to smile, child"

"Geez Mommy!"

Ricky... Gary... He wished they were strangers for the shits they said and did to him before.

'This is all your fault!'

'Can't you just be normal for this family?'

'An embarrassment!'

'They're divorced now, are you happy?'

'You've killed father! murderer!'

'Go to hell, Sam! You've ruined our lives!'

With everything going on in his head left too little chance to grasp the fact that he was already inside the gym.

"Ta da!"

He heard some girly excited voice before, seeing that it was none other than Sophie from the night before.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Sam confusedly. He never told her where he works at, right?.

"Working obviously... Actually, I just started today" Explained Sophie before, twirling around to show off her uniform, "Doesn't this just suit me?"

"You two know each other?" Steve, his boss asked behind Sophie, visibly confused and surprised.

"Oh, He's my boyfriend" Replied Sophie cheery before, realizing her mistake on his confused, shaken face, "to be?"