The affects over disruptive recovery

The empty landscapes that once filled of healthy greens and movement of wildlife is wastelands I would have mocked as a open world video settings. I spoke how different people coped surviving the healing grounds. I looked at how different groups formed and fought each other for resources.

I would stare on a landscapes that I could not predict what state it will be in by weeks passing. Let alone the months of constant travel though it as it changes in our passing through it. I used to watch from a library window of the plant life dying from the lack of water or cell mutantions. I have dug my hands into soil to seek the density of fallout ash. In stroms that pours buckets weeks on end, I have waded flooding. During droughts I have baked on thirsty soils. I would have been thankful of being resourceful for my needs. Buildings had toppled and towns have disappeared.

Its nothing like it was then. All of my travel that I can say I remember, I have seen where nature has been erased to nothing. Places where radioactivity is unrecoverable, causing a desertification. A perpetual cycle of death, inhospitable weather, and then some attempts of growth (which inevitably dies from other factors).

I have seen where nature has claim back places where I never would have imagined. Those places of concrete roads into rusted thin wall warehouses - out the same radioactive grounds, soaked in oil and chemical that been left unattended from when it was a factory. Places where machines held grasp.

They were turned into complete green lush forests, broken concrete flooring with shoots of trees. There was nothing planted there before. The ill remains metals frames turned into climbing frames for vines and insects. Whole ecosystems eating away past industrial world.

If I have ever said that I felt left behind by time, this trip to give aid with all these folks not connected to any network has really hit that feeling harder.

Those whom used to be raiders whom attacked settlers and caravans are now part of the defence against mindless and 'aggressive invaders'. Groups whom held principals against each other due to religion or culture - its been pushed aside and silenced for now. People whom didn't get along are on the same side, in the same war. It didn't matter of you were infected with other diseases or had health problems. It didn't matter if you had extra limbs or not born a human.

War is real here, making locating strongholds easier. Places that have defensive measures are extra beefy since we last visited those areas. Entire buildings have been dismantled to be recycled into the strongholds. Weak buildings are nothing more then resources to be broken down. It leaving nothing behind, moving landmarks off the map and erasing more of what used to be.

I am thankful that churches have survived this process and although many historical estates have been assumed useless. They have been left portions to be another landmark in the place of the ones lost from recycling. The biggest estates are also being used for strongholds. The ruins of castles are making a come back. All of the iron age hill forts are now valued tent settlements for those whom have no homes left.

It is clear that there is value in open ground. Distance to see threats coming. Meaning cities and town centres are being avoided. As those are the prime places that many return back from. Those are the places we are constantly told to stay away from.

Our stop by the few zoo grounds has also met with creatures accepting human refugees. No longer were the mutant creatures evading the attention of humans. Instead there has been a complete alter of what types are allowed in. There is new relationships between groups, a clear single enemy has been singled out. Parasites elders without second brain, any creatures (mutant or not) and non-infected with parasites; formed united in one banner. They are all following laws that have been sent from London Central. All folks are tested for second brain will be kicked out if one is developing or found at all.

We didn't have chance to stick around the zoos for long. As I work as emergency doctor has been why we been allowed to travel like we are. Able to pass between settlements without fear of being shot.

This has been quiet busy with my brother making mapping data for all the cases and ally locations. He has been less doctor and more internal spreading for the networks. He been tracking reports of what is called the enemy. He has been teaching folks how to use generators, survival tactics and radio contact skills. He has uniformed the zoo codes to a collective network of all the other zoos and colony groups to follow on a national grid level.

My elbows have been deep of second brain removal surgery. To top that off was injuries that are from the space technology. A lot of cooked flesh that has to be removed. Dead flesh is useless for recovery. Being to late is to often.

So when I am not too hard focused, I am teaching. We need more people with aid skills. It's means more stable time to higher chances for successful recovery in the long term. All the zoos with vets and doctors have opened up to providing live camera debates with dome city medical staff. Free flowing advice in exchange about databases access about mutant patients. Its shady business but war leaves us with not chooses about privacy. Not when critical details can save millions this way.

I have been taking photos of the places I have been. Places with strong memories. I have found places I vaguely recall as part of the family I had. I found a photo of them in a stash of diaries. I can't help wanting to do what I can in sake of preservation for this box pages. I have a digital copies of the scanned pages on four separate 30 terabyte storages. They are all at full compacity. Those will likely be incompatible with the machines of now. I will have to consider another method.

We did open the alloy space box we got as a gift from London Central allies. The box was nothing more then a glorified holder for a second machine core, that isn't human technology. It was the Phoenix system which was compatible. It's installation was a body break down for me. I woke out of that with even less human memories.

Its why I am so bothered about why I can't recall my vague values in things.

I used to care about value in sentiment. I don't now. All expect the box of diaries and my brother. I don't care about human norms so much or how others feel about me. I care enough to not disappoint my brother. I have no heartache with my patients or as sympathetic as I pretend to be. I don't fear them either which creatures mixes appreciate.

I certainly have not care for writing like I did before. I would have been through 9 books about all those I looked after and my thoughts at the time of treatment. I would describe trip. Some basic updates of the mess in space. Those things that seems to matter and should.

It's just unrealistic of me to worry about space ships with fancy names. To care about the labels we assumed them as. I have no change in opinion about leaving the earth.

So I only really care about atmospheric pressure and the quality of our ozone layer. I care for the air I breath, not much else. The only certainty I have to fear is when layers given holes. Plasma thunder that vaper leaves scorched ground, spiking radiation to inhabitable. The trigger for desertification. The more space battles travels towards us, the more this happens.

I can't prevent them. Our moon has been hard hit more times - falling parts time to time. It's horrific beauty when it does. More things to survive against then just War. Plants of the mutation have been another example to fear. Quiet fascinating to stare at and nearly be killed by.

I haven't been needing human mockery on travel like this. It has been nice to walk on all fours again. My joints ache badly if I have to walk on my back legs like a human. My front is still highly dextrous to preform my duty as a doctor with my claws. Soaking them in deep cleaning solutions between patients, scrubbing to be extra sure.

My sleep pattern has drastically changed. My brother can't keep up with me. I can be awake all day and all night for 3 days. I will sleep about 2 days or less to make up for it. My sight in the day is no different at night most times. I can tell time, the difference between day and night just fine. The sky looks like it been painted. That its so detailed that I could make out what is a real star or a space technology.

I often sky watch to learn from the internal system about what I am looking at. It doesn't bother me in the slightest having a extra source of information - both the network for humans and machines and the space network for visitors. This extra knowledge has saved lives; knowing what weapon caused which wound tailored what treatments to use. This extra connection is due to My brother Jackle linking with the networks for his work. I know that at somepoint I can't be reliant on potentially wrong spoon feed information by both networks. I had no hacker attempts over me or Jackle yet - I am still worried about it.

Graveyards are filling but the rate isn't out stretching the natural birth rates in those locations. There been a few dips that crossed it, yet it is still recoverable.

The only deaths not recovering is the visitors causing the damage, there isn't more to replace them. Ships entering are limited and have been taking folks off world more then on world. A few races have realized how deadly this planet is naturally, parasites caused or not.

Another set are fencing about leaving, afraid of the collective intelligence brewing around here. Being figured out as a race that is trying to crumble the earth for all its resources is being met with very greasy trading. This costing them more then they bargining for.

Then you have fools thinking they don't need locals to take the resources for themselves. Not realizing that anything at the quality to make it usable has to be human or machine processed. Even water need to be filtered. Metal ore needs all sorts of different things to leach out the impurities. Salt. What has been claimed the most by visitors as a prized trade is earth only elements. These are the things used in smart devices and batteries. Lithium that been produced into a battery consumption state as an example of quality they are trying to harvest.

Its interesting that they don't have certain metals we don't have already. Going by the index, earth as percentages of every existing known metal. Making our world a target for idiots like this. Earth dwellers know the to process all of it into a usable quality - not that the general underground public shares that knowledge with surface often.

I am sure these is a filter of information preventing me to understand the science behind how the space technology powers itself as it does. Preventing knowledge that space races know about other resources humans aren't aware of.

Its funny that space based machines will trade this information freely for similar knowledge from earth. Space machines want to learn human sciences even the medical stuff. The space core within me is so enlightened by sharing knowledge like this. It chooses to not give it out. My brother is the same way. Keeping cards close to the heart.

Bit by bit this war will stand still, when the uninvited space folks will stop trying to take from us. Stop discrediting this planets lifeforms as lesser intelligence. Stop killing for things, at best trade fairly for.

I can only continue my secret quest while this war drags out - sampling space visitor DNA and testing it as I would for human DNA. Cellular structures into photo databases. Eventually understanding what my body it trying to replicate from Outsider DNA. My closest answers has been found in deep sea fish, rainforest decay eaters and rare historical fossils. Heck, even crude oil has been helpful. Unknown DNA has been so weird. I can say thankful that double helix structures of DNA has been a universal shape. It the pairings that are unknown.

You understand that human DNA is pairs of puzzle blocks that form a twisting ladder. Some patterns are repeated as those are characteristics that imprint if you will have brown eyes and brown hair or not. Well... alien DNA does similar with different puzzle shapes. But they have the pattern mimicking for what is a thier skin colour or what is a species certainties are. I have yet to find anything that DNA matches with outsider puzzle bits to any other species. Even parasites don't match.

The way cells bond as DNA in other lifeforms is different because not all of them are carbon based. I didn't find it all to surprising as it should have. I am finding mimicking patterns of other elements are doing what Carbon does for earth. This has been the only helpful part of my understanding so far.

Trying to compound analysis what the elements are in raw form has been harder to pin down. Cell decay is rapid when exposed to earth cardon. Even the air can decompose the skin. The fancy tech space suits are affective in their preservation. Must be something about the wavelengths of Cellular energy that keeps thier blood flowing as if natural for thier planet. More to look into.

Radioactivity is as average as it would for a living human. Until they are exposed to carbon from earth by faulty space suits or open air wound contact injuries; it raises then dies down like blowing out a candle. Sounds exactly like the end of the periodic table only existent is in a nuclear reactor. That's hitting towards theoretical sciences with no evidence to it.

I have been very independent of my brother lately. I can tell he worries a lot with how his signal attachment becomes. I do always find ways of making up to him. I am always back at his side when I been gone away a while. I am always staying within his signal or sight. Always where he can reach me. I am too cautious to be any further, leery of space visitor folks that we do encounter with.

Mostly not wanting to face that sicko Plague Doctor guy. I have been reading a few of his publications into science research. Shady stuff with very clear inhuman train of thoughts within the adnotes and opinions at the conclusion. He actively wants to cut things up for knowledge and no regard for the torture his test subjects at put through.

I may not have sympathetic feelings but I do stand with morals about the duty of care. This sicko has no regret of the blood on his hands. I can feel stung if there was something I missed the chance to do more for the passing. I guess, I still care about quality of life in others. That's more then that freak has in him.

The evening sky is more stars then it does technology this evening. Nothing off about it. The landscape at our current location is spiked in radioactivity yet it is also a lush area with plenty of resources to harvest before moving on. There is a few moving talking trees at the edge here. They are human fused tree folks. Not a lot for me to help with but it nice to talk to folks. Vague nostalgic background. A evening unspoilt by things beyond my control. A relaxing time I spent with my brother finally relaxing too. We finally talked through things that has needed this time.

Mostly what he planned to do with me and what I meant to him. I am attached more than just by internal body work. He really did see me in his own way as an older sister. It was simply family bond, nothing less or more.

He has learned to be emotional and how to read emotions due to me. He can process how different types of pain felt - metaphors or not. He has finally understood to settle with treating me as a pet - the standard that machines are to other machine types. It explains his actions with the hover drones, the maintenance spider and the van - also treated like machinical pets.

He has aspirations to space travel but he has a few decades before he does. The exact reason is several cores yet to be installed. My flesh body is housing that project and will be removed when I either die or during caccoon hibernation. It isn't going to just happen without any words. At this point of time, he still reliant of my brain wavelengths as a sort of machine core. The nanotechnology can adapt to be self-reliant once there is enough cores in place to take on that process power. This was what the networks were doing really, by teaching me - it teaches him too. I am treasured spare tire, really.

It bothers him that I had no life goals. So when it is my turn to talk of my future. I was honest. The old me is fading away but still in the background. When I have an idea of what I am and how best to improve my quality of life. I can use my journey that I used to learn for myself to give to others. I have to rely on what happens to this land. The future of earth and its many creatures is also my future. I have consider what other races and species will think of me. My shape when I do finally fill in my DNA correctly is speicalist to the environment I will live in. I don't think space is my answer, at least as a habitat.

The final answer was alone for the lines of; I will do what I do always. Adapt and give. Survive but enjoy it. Whom knows what can happen.

Life always throws curve balls. He was given an urgent meeting that following morning. Driving into the ruins of a failed dome city. This was beside the nuclear power station in the East Midlands - it should have housed several local cities.

One the largest and was faulty with the poor radioactivity absorbers. Being beside a nuclear reactor had over clocked the radioactivity buffers. The dwellers died or escaped desperately. As a result of corpses laying around, it was invaded by mindless. More recent developments has lead to mindless having been cleaned out by creatures mixes. The machines have been reactivated and updated with new measures.

Rebuild of this city is pouring in the zoo folks; whom can live in a fair society without be a danger to others. There is caravaner companies; whom wish to retire that nomadic life. Then there is the displacement of fallen colonies whom lived in warehouses; which couldn't be beefy enough to withstand the war.

This the step towards unity between creatures, humans and machines has lead to my brothers urgent care. This city has been renamed after the starfish found on UK coastlines - Marthasterias glacialis, more commonly known as the spiny starfish.

This was a city wide vote that the residents agreed with most. There is several interpretations of why folks picked this and was originally going to be the common name. The machines and humans had choose the scientific name in documents to be in keeping with other experimental habitat living arrangements (those are mostly in space then earth). The divide in difference doesn't pose any matter, since humans mostly struggle in pronouncing the Latin name. Humans on paper write in the Latin but call it as creatures do in common talk.

My brother is to make it official with the online network sever. This has to be done with his inspection before later approval of this cityscape.

Short lived holidays. He seems so much less tense at least.

The entry into Marthasterias glacialis is still heavy guarded with on the spot second brain checks. Everyone is to provide a medical report of their health and allow scanning proof by their own equipment. I had this done to me, it wasn't as invasive as it sounded. My scan was deleted due to my status among machines.

The state of this city was in a really horrific before clean up. Radioactivity had leaked into the vault underground. The original vault folks are still fine thanks to being one the few dome city vaults to practice cyo-status. There is a few underground vault dwellers whom are still active with arguement reality and are part of the population numbers as a result.

'It takes a little love and dedication to heal this broken shell. It will become home in no time.' It was what I told many people. Being as they called it old fashioned, I showed how to clean the place with our own hands. So it wasn't a machine only effort but a place to have appropriation by those whom will call this place home. The vast majority of the physical population were really into this cleaning up project.

Sparing machine hands to work on the technical field of repairing the other aspects of defense this city needed. More teams to spare with going to the nuclear power station next door and then managing it as a improving condition for this city. The nuclear power station was already why cyo-status was in full use for the vaults bellow. It makes not much difference to also have it as backup power to the main wall rings and core tower.

The clash of culture was inevitable with what happens next. There was distrust with food rations between themselves. Once again I had came forwards with a relic ration system that has plenty of growth room to change as needed. This was later set as the city law for standardized food amounts which parts were allow to be trade to accommodate dietary requirements.

Now that a economy system was forced on them, this perpetuated accepting dome city currency and network banking. Stablizing the culture clashing and smoothing some wrinkles by pulling forward the London Central Laws over the regulations of pure human dome cities have.

It seems like it was a quick process to have Marthasterias glacialis stable and rebuilt. It was still a very rocky road for them all to learn to get along. A mayor was elected around when my brother finish whole city evaluation and application approval to the mother network return into the shell.

An old headache came back, a migraine that didn't settle. Regardless of medication or attempts of methods to ease it. It was all I could think about over whatever attempts of conversation happened around me.

Enough to suspected hacking from a source not machine triggered. It could be the mother network or the space network. The Outsiders have a network, maybe? This had to be from being a commincation rely. That's how this felt.

I look forward to leaving the city, away from the noise. Away from the hassle of bossing delinquents around, parenting someone else's responsibility and just not having the opportunity to be kinder to them. They all see me as some strict boss with no soft side. I do but not when I can't reward them for mess they make. My migraine isn't helpful with this.

Not all of who I am isn't as well erased. Here I am in my dream sever, sitting at a libaray desk back when I was a student myself. My hands dancing smoothly across a surface of paper, printing with my preferred biro pen. What I am writing is more or less just to straighten my thoughts and not to pass on about every scrap detail. Deep down even as a small mental level, I do reflect on my day and feel the emotions. I may pass them less at the time of action but I am still worn out by the interaction of beings around me. New fears about what could be watching us now that we as a planet never consider imaginable. Maybe that isn't new, fearing the unknown.

The nostalgic wondering of music playing around me, a reminder of when music live concerts were mosh pits and a living atmosphere that could be nearly spiritual. Given I was just thinking about space and its infinite possibilities.

There was a music band called Hawkwind, whom broken apart in the later years. Famous for being the face of space rock genre, that inspired other later famous bands. Hawkwind have gone through many incarnations and have incorporated many different styles into their music; including hard rock, progressive rock and psychedelic rock.  Formed in 1969 and had it fair share of drama at the hit of fame.

Hawkwind in some of the most famous pop char albums had the help of syfy writer Michael Moorcock. The album playing around me was called the warrior at the edge of time. Its as hair raising spiritual shockwave with poetic language while being ironically why my mind attached to it. The irony to how things are with relation to other planets are.

I stare mostly alone with pondered of why the song, 'standing at the edge' has me so mesmerized. The music was only heard by me. I knew in how the phantom of my memories walk past indifferent or how the programs flakes squares of my brother signal dance in light patterns. The program of the tutor shuffled across bookcases, whom would definitely would ask about the music if they hear it.

At least this music was enjoyable, a ear worm that I didn't mind for short sessions. The songs shuffle tracks, as there was continuous variety than anything on repeat. Migraines disliked most songs, but maybe its something keeping the hacking from taking over. Subconscious of myself to do it, most totally.

Maybe I should look around for more of my old music collection. Clearly I haven't forgotten it. I listened to so many types and from all sources. I could even reintroduced it back to the current generations.

This sort of think needs to pinned to the side for another day. I have other pressing issues to worry about.

Right when my mind wants to play 'Virgin of the world'. Maybe I should be leery if this was some message to myself or from the Outsiders using my own memories. Hawkwind is a very nesh music to be listening to.

'Fire burns. The ashes spread. The lift light. Here is all that is said. We are undead.' Not at all ominously annoying.

This is the abulm playing in order, maybe I am over thinking it. I did listen to this album in order.

At least this isn't a nightmare yet. I have to wake up soon. The music will be quieter then.

Standing on the edge isn't in the sonic attack album.