1 PROLOGUE

"Sin, are you listening?!" muling pag tawag sa akin nang tita ko.

"Why? What you want me to do? Just let him? That was a mistake, Auntie. He has a responsibility? Alright, I can help to give his daughter financial assistance just don't pull him away from me." It's not his fault he was just played by drugs.

"Sin, listen he has to marry her." mahinahon nitong sabi habang hawak ang kamay ko. Nasa sala kami at nasa harap ko sina Uncle Clauss, Grandpa, Auntie Love, and Ephraim.

"What about me? I did everything I've done just to have lived what I want. That's because he got her pregnant... What about me, auntie?" I keep my voice normal even my tears are almost coming out. My hand was shaking in too much emotion.

Because I'm adopted I became their protector all my life. I fought just to protect them. I fought until my body can't handle the pain anymore, I fought and rest in the middle of the wild forest. All I want is to live what my heart wants. At tumulo na ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

Pinunasan ko ang luha sa aking pisnge bago tumayo. "I will not convince him to marry her. We're happy if ever you don't know."

Saka ako naglakad sa napakalaking entrada nang mansyon bago ko narating ang daan pa akyat. Sa hallway palang ay nagkalat na ang mga tauhan sa bawat pintong madadaanan. Kung bago lamang ako dito at mapagkakamalan kong nasa palasyo na ako.

Pilit pinapakalma ang mahinang ako ngayon. Panay hinga nang malalim at punas sa luha ang ginawa ko bago pumasok sa nag iisang kuwartong walang bantay ay pumasok ako. Malamig na sala ng aking kuwarto agad ang bungad, agad kong pinasok ang kuwarto ko at mula sa aking kinatatayuan at tanaw ko ang lalaking hindi ko magawang iwan kahit pa nagkasala ito nang hindi sadya.

Mahimbing itong natutulog sa malambot at malaki kong kama. Hubo't baro at mukhang pagod na pagod. How can I let him leave if this view what I want to see every night?

Naupo ako sa couch sa bandang gilid ng kama at tinanaw ang mukha ng lalaking hindi ko kailanman magagawang iwan. Sa lamig ng klima at nagawa n'yang matulog nang walang pang itaas. Napasandal nalang ako sa sobrang bigat sa dibdib ng bawat nangyari nitong mga nakaraan.

Ramdam ko ang pag pikit nang mata ko kaya hindi ko na nagawang lumipat pa sa kama ko katabi ni Hanz. Nagising ako nang biglang may bumuhat sa akin. Kumapit ako sa leeg nito at inamoy ang mabango niyang leeg. "It's cold. Why you slept on a couch?"

"Hanz.." malambing kong pagtawag dito nang ilapag ako nito sa kama.

Tumabi ito sa akin at niyakap ako habang nagsusumiksik ang mukha n'ya sa leeg ko. "You not getting enough sleep these days, hmm?"

Hindi ko pa parin maiwasang hindi isipin na napakalaki ng problema namin. "H-Hanz... Bakit.. Bakit kailangan may gano'n?." humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin, mas lalo kong naramdaman ang pagbara ng lalamunan ko.

"I'm sorry. Baby, I know you would understand." tumango ako.

"Yes, you were not sane because of the drug she drops on your drinks." umalis ito sa pagkakayakap sa akin at hinarap ako.

"You wouldn't gonna push me away, right?" kinulong n'ya ang mukha ko sa malalaki nitong palad.

"You think I can do that?" I ask.

I did not obey Auntie because I don't want him to leave me and now he thinks I'm gonna push him?

"I know you can't." hinalikan ako nito nang mabilis. "That's how you love me." he smiled like we have no problem.

I can hug him all night. I don't want him away. "Sin, I love you. I love you so much, baby." hinalikan nito ang leeg na parang gumawa pa ng marka maya maya pa ay kumilos ang malikot nitong kamay papasok sa pantulog ko. He grabs my boobs and massages it slightly, my body hot body wake up in his hot touch.

"Hmm." I moaned as his hand run inside my undies.

I held his hand when my body trembled in too much pleasure. "Hanz..." I moaned when he didn't stop working on it.

He keeps on kissing my neck and he stops for my second orgasm just because of his hand. Hanz goes on top of me and starting to make love with me. He thrust inside me gently. He gives me a pleasure I always want every time I'm with him. I moaned in return make him more hard inside me.

Every groans her mouth release make me more want him. He push hard when we got the climax of heaven. "Another soldiers inside you this night." he kissed my forehead because he pulls out his hard long big friend between his thighs.

"And another pill I need to take." every day I drink pills I feel bad for our nights we make love.

I always think about why I need to take this? I have fine menstruation after all. "Then don't take pills anymore." I wear my robe and went into my bathroom like I didn't hear him.

I cleaned myself before come out and there he is looking straight on me. "What?"

"Come here." argument again...

I just give him a normal stare. I kissed him before lying down on my bed. I heard him sigh. "Sleep tight, baby." then he kissed my forehead.

Hindi s'ya humiga sa tabi ko kundi lumabas ng kuwarto ko. Hindi ko alam kung nasa sala s'ya ng kuwarto ko o kung nasa kuwarto n'ya. Hindi ko nalang dinamdam pa ang ilang sandaling iyon at pinilit nalang na makatulog.

Then I fell asleep again with a heavy feeling. When can I sleep peacefully again? When can I sleep with Hanz without these feelings?

Pero kahit anong gawin ko alam kong mananatili ako. Still here forgiving and forgetting his mistakes.