1 Crossdressing journey. 1

Rajat/saanvi - myself,me .

Sahana - mom, police constable.

Rajveer- dad , deceased.

Abhishek and Abhinav - my twin older brothers.

Devaki - grandma.deceased.

Venki- grandpa.

Deepika - mom's elder sister, principal of girls college.

Devraj - Deepika aunt's son , my brother's age .

Deepak - Deepika aunt's son . And eldest.

Deevank - Deepika aunt's husband.

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I am husband of saanvi , i am writing in her behalf and she is saying her biopic herself as it is COVID now . All of us are bored .

This story is not real but i triedy best to keep as much as real as possible . Some religious, gods and temples are my imagination and we made few fluctuations into it .

I like bdsm , crossdressing, incestuous, cuckold, extramarital affairs and all , even child pornography is included but it is not real.

25 years back .

From saanvi/rajat point of view.

My grandpa was brahmin and because of it we had no non veg privilege but grandma used to eat outside and mom and aunt to did the same, my dad was also brahmin and as it was love marriage his family disregarded him but after my brother's were born my dad starting beating mom and all because he wanted the inheritance.

We used to live in independent house with 3bhk house with attached parlour. Mom and I used to sleep together, brother's used to sleep together and grandpa room , when it was aunt's and cousin's would visit we used to sleep in hall together.

Everyone wished that i would born as girl rather than boy because in our family their were no girl child, My brother's, parents, aunt and uncle, grandpa everyone wished but i was born boy. It saddened them but they all loved me as the youngest child.

When i was 3 year's old, my parents divorced each other for domestic violence and soon my father died in an car accident. Later even my grandmother died .

I was very timid since childhood, isolation from outside world because of my appearance was major problem. I used to be bullied but my brother's would protect me . My brother's and cousin's were older than me by atleast 7 to 10 years . It was also reason i couldn't mingle with them so i would always follow mom , grandma or aunt . In our small family their were no girls or child of my generation.

Unlike my brother's i was not tough build but i was very weak and fragile, i used to cry on small things as a result my family grew more protective towards me.

My family was very open minded, we were middle class family, mom used to earn enough money to support us , my brother's higher education was done by my aunt, she is very loving and protective against us , mother didn't used to ask any financial support from anyone but my brother's needed lakhs of rupees so aunt stepped in and took care of it , Mom and aunt used to love each other whole heartedly, both of them used to know each other's heart before even telling, grandparents raised both of them very nicely , my grandpa was very strict and aunt's temper came from him , everyone in the house is afraid of aunty, if we knew aunt is coming home, we used to cut of hair , nails , clean our rooms etc , brother's used to trimm their beard too .

Inside our house we were only allowed to wear sleeveless shirt or t shirts and underwear, mom used to beat brother's regularly as they were very naughty and used to get failing marks as well as getting in trouble, even grandparents would beat them, i was very obedient one so i didn't get beating like my brother's.

We used to live in rural area and to reach City it was 35 kilometres, it was quite and peaceful . My mom used to work as police head constable at Manipal police station . Manipal Karnataka was major attractions for students and other workers to come from all over India so it had a special wing of lady police officers . Aunt used to live in Bangalore and work as principal and vice principal for same University , she is principal for pre University college and vice principal for undergraduate college and it is women's college. She is also a beautician before transferring to become principal, when she was in hometown she used to do part time and opened a parlour in house only .

Our house will be full once every six months, either we visit them in Bangalore or they visit their hometown, later we understood that it was more enjoyable in hometown only so everyone would visit hometown but sometimes I would visit Bangalore to enjoy with aunt but it was very rare . My brother's would visit if they have 4 to 5 days holiday and would leave me behind .

Mom and aunt used to spend lot of time in parlour as my brother's and cousin's wouldn't let me join them so i would go and sit with aunt and mom , mom used to have eyebrows threading and other facials and i used to watch them . I was only 7-8 years old at that time, in that time my aunt used to visit regularly every month so my hair cutting was done by her , aunt and mom used to put makeup on my face. After my makeup mom would tell me not to go outside because of grandpa, so i used to yltake mom's mobile and play, while mom and aunt put me out of parlour, i didn't know why but later i knew because it was for waxing .

Their was 2 bathrooms in our house and 1 bathroom was old, and new bathroom was little modern as it was built during parlour, mom and aunt forbade any male to go into that bathroom but didn't tell me anything, old bathroom was where hot water was present and i didn't like to bath in hot water so mom ,me and aunt used to bath in new bathroom and hotwater people would go to old bathroom .

I had health issues from childhood and my mom made a wish to a certain god , it was a goddess .

As my aunt and mom used to dress me in girls clothes and do makeup in secret but they later stopped doing that , but that habit didn't go away from me, i always had the urge , like my brother's i didn't like to black or blue colour but rather i like pink and other light colour . But everyone started to tease me so i stopped it .

Everyone used to compliment me of my color and how much i look like grandma. My behaviours inside the house was not commented but i sometimes act like girly and used to cry at small things and i used to get teased, because of my brother's no-one used do anything.

I hit my puberty at 10 years old.

I was 11 years old when mom told me about it and asked me to not to cut my hair for 1 year and told me that i must Pierce my earlobe , many other children's were also their who would leave long hair but it was rule that those who leave long hair mustn't grow beard and long hair must be always in bun as girls were in ponytail. Most of the people did that in their lifetime but their was a religion called brahmin who were gods most trusted disciples and they used to have long hairs and ear piercing. It was for them that the rule came in existence of long hair must be tied into bun and must have clean shave face . As i was brahmin it didn't cause problems for me but harrassment in school by other non—brahmin kids was normal.Mom told me cut hair with only aunt present . My brother's also did it seems but they didn't wear earrings so their earlobe closed itself.

I had little fever and stayed at home, we had computer and it was in brother's room , i opened it and wanted to play game and that's when i came across a pendrive, it was pendrive full of sex videos, now I knew what my brother's were upto at night closing doors secretly , sometimes when mom have night shift both of them make me sleep early . Whenever i used to get time i used to watch them and started to get pleasure. It was daily routine. I used to listen to other boys conversation and learned more and more. Soon my puberty started showing major changes.

My mom used to bath me daily but after i started to masturbate it stopped, but now maintaining hair was my biggest problem of mine, mom used to oil and wash my hair from time to time .

It was 1 year already, i was 12 years old and my hair grew till neck length, our festival had started it was 14 days trail ,aunt came to hometown as it was 1 month holiday for everyone, my brother's started to prepare for entrance exam and went to Bangalore as they had coaching classes , aunt brought touch screen mobile for mom , brother's and cousin's wouldn't do any rituals and said that they would come on 15th day , it was mom ,aunt and me , aunt called me inside and gave me a trimmer and told me to trimm my private area and amprits and i went inside bathroom, aunt was teasing me to do infront of her but i went inside, i was not worried because i would go bald but rather that my biggest fear was needle for piercing my earlobe,i trimmed my private area and amprits and got out , aunt put veet gel around my amprits and removed it , aunt told me to remove my private area and amprit area every month as it was not good for us , later i went to bath and i felt so good touching my amprits as i had hair all over my body, i even masturbated in that situation, finally I went out and mom gave me underwear and it was boxer and it was new , soon she gave me dhoti and shaall , mom told me not to wear sandals or slippers for next 14 days and we hoped in car and went to near temple, i sat down and my head was shaved by a man, i had a tiny bit of tears in my eyes , my hair was curly and after that i went to a river and soon it was time for ear piercing, i did my ears piercing and i was crying, while doing. Soon we went inside and had our prayers and soon we set out .

After reaching home mom told me eat fruits only and told me after and before sunrise i must not eat anything that is boiled , we used to wake early to eat food and eat food after sunset , everyone in house concluded on that , mom used to go to work but used to follow the rituals, aunt and me used to spend some time together, grandpa used to work outside the house .

Sometimes I used to be bored and sleep as their was no current, their is a famous quote "Empty mind is devil's workshop " by a famous person. It happened to me, i was sleeping casually closing my eyes and was not sleepy that's when my thoughts went towards cocks size and i started to compare it with myself, mine was small , i suddenly thought of my brother's because even though they were not in the mood theirs penis size was big as my erect penis size, i thought my things about it but it felt off , i took aunt's phone and started searching, i searched and learned many things, i even measured my cock size and it came 7.5 cm and i thought it as inches , in school i was learning about it and soon realised that inches and centimetres are different, i learned that 7.5 centimetres is 2.9 inches, i was heartbroken, i searched and searched and came into final conclusion that i was still young and my puberty still had time left .

But i started to think of my brother's size and how big might that be when it is erect, i started to think about cocks and cocks only , i didn't think of that for 2 days as it was Saturday and Sunday, mom had holiday and we saw movies together and did prayers .

I searched many things and came to disappointment for my size but internet was good at motivation also as i learned that satisfaction is not about size blah ,blah and in market we have many toys etc . Later i started to search for earings, from searching boys earings to girls section i didn't know when i went their , but it attracted me towards it .

Soon days went by and at last it was 14th day , one last time and it had big festival and many enjoyments after that , i was waiting for that , brother's and cousin's came and they were having fun themselves and didn't want me to join them , i cried for that but mom and aunt took me to the festival later and we enjoyed, it was 2 days and we both days and enjoyed fully , at night after grandparents slept mom and aunt went outside and came back , i was inside on mom's mobile phone and I was browsing towards earings on girls, as mom and came i went outside to see what they brought for food and i was shocked because they brought beer for brother's to drink and they went upstairs, and told not to go up , we went straight to parlour, mom went inside and asked me aunt put bed for brother's, we put bed and everything and i went upstairs and told brother's that we were going sleep and told them aunt told them to be careful and after drinking to but bottles inside the car and they agreed. I came down and mom and aunt were ready to drink and i thought they were drinking beer to buy it was Scotch ,i was shocked , i realised why everyone used to make me sleep early when everyone is around and that to in grandpa's room , mom told me that as my health is not good nowadays i will not get anything but she will let me drink when i am fit and asked sit with them, i are food and drank cold drinks and we finally slept, i was very uncomfortable because it was first time when mom and aunt didn't wear anything except panties and i was in the middle, on top of that i was in middle with mom's and aunt's had in my chest and the worst thing was that a dim light was on , both mom and aunt were drunk , they fell asleep on the spot and i was kept wondering, both of them were 5.9 in height with busty curves and slim waist , i didn't get to sleep at all until I got the courage to move their hands and switch off the light and mom woke up and asked me again so i slept, i just touched my cock and i had ejaculated within seconds, we woke up next day late morning . We had breakfast and we were talking that's when my brother told me that to remove my earings and was going say something but aunt interrupted and took me to the parlour, after sometime my brother's left in car to Bangalore, i was very sad . Aunt was staying for some more days until going, we went to parlour and mom openly told me that she was going to have waxing and all and told me to complete my homework .

After completing my work i took mom's phone and was casually surfing through internet and i came across LGBTQ and i was curious of what it was , slowly i saw it in full form and i started to search, i learned about lesbian, later about gay then about bisexual and about sexuality,i was stuck in transgender and queer later i fell very deep into it i moved on from transgender but got stuck in "Q" after learning of Queer and questioning i was stuck in thoughts and questioned myself . My head was not in one place for long time, i saw many people crossdressing and i don't know where my curiosity was hidden it suddenly came out of nowhere, in our bathroom, their was a batch of panties and bra , i knew these were from good brand because it was silky smooth while touching,i didn't know who's what but i touched them . I would always touch them but never tried until aunt left , i was alone and it was 5 days before school starts, mom went to job , grandpa used to work outside and he never used to come near our bedroom or parlour so i was free , i suddenly wore mom's panties and bra i felt erect and masturbated on spot, it gave me goosebumps and in one day i wore multiple times, after brother's left i had no sources to watch porn so i started to imagine inside my head, whenever I used to masturbate after wearing mom undergarments my next thought is always of me getting fucked by my brother's or my uncle and after every masturbation i used to feel guilty .

At night sleeping with mom . Mom asked me about my day at home and we talked and laughing when she suddenly held my head .

Mom— Raju , i liked you with your hair long only.

Me—mom, you are the who made me go bald .

Mom— haha ! Raju will you keep ear piercing open for me, i just like you to imagine with long hair and ear piercing, how cute you would look like but atleast that is not possible so atleast will you keep ear piercing?

Me— yes mom , but pain is still their and some boys would tease me .

Mom— don't care about it so much, people are born to judge people, when i was learning police everyone taunted me saying what is the use when i will become a housewife? Like that i didn't care and i need to thank you and your brothers for keeping up with me .

Me—mom , don't worry about that stuff and i will not think about others teasing me .

Silent for few minutes.

Mom— Raju , you have still a long way to grow beard so why not you grow your hair until that ?

Me — mom, no managing is big problem.

Mom—haha ! Managing? I thought like your brothers you would say others will tease you .

Me— embarrassed. No mom , i didn't mean like that, i also have same opinion about teasing and taunting.

Mom—so you are saying that after teasing and taunting one should listen to outside world, you are the one to agree with me few minutes ago about ignoring and not caring about it. You change your mind so quickly. Then you are implying that i should have become housewife.

Me—mom, i didn't mean like that, i just meant.

Mom—if you don't want to accept my request then just say it , why are so tensed about managing your hair, did your aunt and myself helped you didn't we .

Me—mom , so if you want be to grow hair then i will.

Mom—sigh . Really.

Me—yes .

Mom — if you feel that you don't want it anymore then say to us we will cut it back . We promise you that we will take care of your hair and you don't even need to touch your head .

Me—okay mom .

Mom— if you need to talk about anything, anything at all just say it to me or your aunt okay.

Me—okay .

Mom touching my pimple

Mom—so did you start masturbating?

Me— mom?

Mom—its okay, don't need to be shy , if you have any questions or problems just say it to me and masturbate weekly 4 to 5 times .

Me—mom how did you know.

Mom— you are no only son to me and your brothers had many questions but you don't seem to have it .

Me—mom! Stop! I guess I know pretty well for now .

Mom—you know i am police right .

Me—yeah! Yeah I know .

Mom— Don't wash your head without me , you will wash your head every 2 days and before that i will oil . And you wash your face with my face wash in white bottle and after your bath use moisturizer in pink colour bottle.

Me —okay mom , good night.

Mom—good night sweet heart.