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Critical Hit: The World’s Clumsiest Sword Saint

[Target in sight.] [Skill Critical Eye has been activated.] Being clumsy is quite common. But Luke Hunter’s clumsiness is on a different level. As the young man quite literally stumbles through life, he wonders if there’s something more he could be doing in the world. His dreams may come to be realized, as a freak accident causes Luke to wake up as Klum, in a completely different setting than his day-to-day life. His Dexterity, a skill that measures things such as flexibility and how well one holds themself, sits at the level it was in his past life; 1. And yet, he finds his skills to be suited for an extremely coordinated individual, especially after he meets the only other Sword Saint to have ever existed, an individual who is the strongest Swordsman among those both alive and passed on. It’s up to him to find his way in his new life, and strive to reach the path of the highest Swordsman — the Sword Saint. Will he be able to transform his 1 Dexterity into a 1000? Or will he be dragged into something much deeper — much darker? Credits to valeri_mirley on fiverr for the new cover! Updating 5-10 chapters a week, and now posting on RoyalRoad!

kyci · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
116 Chs

Chapter 95 - The Gameplan

Lizard Boy kneels, his forehead against the ground. "Please!!"

I roll my eyes. "I told you, it's not my choice anyway. Why are you so adamant about this, anyway?"

He looks up innocently. "Well, you attract bad and interesting things that usually have shinies!"

I growl, raising my hand to pinch the bridge of my nose. "You little…"

An air flick to the back of my head jolts me out of position, and I spin around angrily. "Hey!"

"You guys are making too much of a commotion. The hell are you guys doing this early?" Eniyala stands with her arms crossed, wearing an oversized t-shirt and what looks like nothing else.

"I wanted to watch the sky."

"Uhh… Dragons are nocturnal, I guess!"

We both stare at the boy for a long second. "Makes sense for the Skill, I guess," Eniyala finally notes.

"Dragons are real??"

Eniyala gives me a narrowed look. "Yes, you idiot. How primitive was your world?"

"Primitive enough to make dragons not exist?"

She begins to laugh at my statement, and soon enough Ro joins in. "Making dragons extinct… Do you hear him? Can you… believe this dumbass is in my party?"

Ro perks up, stopping his rolling from laughter to stare up at Eniyala, still upon his knees. "About that. I wanna join you guys."

I sigh, slight irritation creeping up on me. "Yeah, he—"

"You see, I got seperated from my sister, and she's a saint, so I don't wanna be alone 'cause she gets angry when I'm alone without super vision. Dunno why, I have great vision, but she said that's not what she meant."

Eniyala gives him a once-over. "Y'know, the dumb parts of you kind of remind me of Klum, so you'd probably fit right in. You can come right along."

As I gawk in disbelief, she adds him to the party, proven to me by the message popping up telling me so. "So, we're just not going to question this? Or anything he just said? He fell from the sky?!"

Eniyala glares at me. "And you told me that you came into this world by being struck by lightning."

I hold up a finger to retaliate, but my mouth simply hangs open. "Dammit, if only she didn't make such a good point," I think to myself.

"You're muttering again, idiot."

"Fuck off."

"Gladly. I'm going to get more sleep before we head out. You guys shut the hell up, or I'll make roast lizard and crazy."

"Roast… Crazy?" Ro ponders. Eniyala rolls her eyes. "Just be quiet."

With that, she storms back to her tent. Ro and I glance at each other, and he points in her direction. "You know, I could almost see under the shir—"

"Look, I can look over everything else, but if you're gonna be a pervert I'll beat you to death with the flat of my sword."

"You wouldn't," he states, and I reach over my shoulder for Beholder's Eye. Jumping to his feet, he plants his legs firmly. "You can't!"

"And why can't I?"

"Your Attack isn't enough to overpower my Defense." He puffs his chest out proudly. In response, I draw the handle, forming it into a baseball bat. "Let's test that, shall we?" I ask innocently, and he nods confidently. "Okay!"

Leading him away from the tents and down the hill, I grin mischievously at my evil plan.

- - -

"Huh… So you start feeling it after two or three, but Critical Hits don't show significant damage until about the fourth, with one minute intervals for a break. Interesting."

I muse over Ro's Stats and my messages, lost in thought. Meanwhile, a whimpering Lizard Boy crouches low, holding either side of a huge bump on his forehead from my testing, and tears tipping precariously on the edges of his eyelids.

"Alright, now without breaks!"

"N-no!" Ro calls out fearfully, black fog bursting from his mouth. I lean back, but not before I get a small whiff of it, unfortunately. "Damn, your breath STINKS, man… huh?"

[12% to resist curse activated.]

[Blocked 2 curses.]

[You have been cursed with 'Hallucinating' for 3 seconds.]

A wispy figure steps through the fading fog, startling me. "Christy?! What…"

[Effect lifted.]

"Who's Christy?" Ro asks innocently, waving away a bit more of the smoke. In response, he gets another Critical smack right on the bruised welt upon his forehead.

whAP!

"Ow! I'm sorry!!"

I huff, letting the bat un-form back to a handle and sheathing it. "Guess he is a dragon. Musta been his dragon's breath he used, considering I couldn't see through it," I mutter to myself, trying to ignore the glaring fact that such a strong status-inflicting skill also hits his own allies.

"Let's go, looks like everyone is waking up," I say as I point to the top of the hill. Smoke rises from the top, signaling someone was probably making breakfast. Ro licks the air, then his lips to keep from drooling. "We'll go over the game plan with everyone present."

He tilts his head. "Game plan? What game are we playing?"

As I groan and contemplate how he could be so dumb, said being continues chattering, saying meaningless things about his sister, who was apparently some cranky witch, by his description. In my head, I imagined a stick and bones scaled girl with a tall wooden stick to hold that would support her incredibly hunched back, wisps of red hair falling over her gaunt face as she snarls at me. I shudder at the thought, tuning him out before my imagination could grow any stronger. We'd simply shove him at her once she shows up and get the hell out of there. Simple and easy.

When we got to the top of the hill, we see everyone cleaning up the campground. "What's all this?" I ask after picking up Panko, who has dashed over as soon as he sees me, hopping into my arms. Termi turns to us. "The Swordmaster told us what you guys talked about last night. Apparently we're going to Rockend, my homeland? I'll be our guide, then." She puffs her chest out proudly, the hair she had pulled into a tight ponytail bouncing from the movement.

I nod. "Thanks, Termi. Appreciate it."

Looking to the group, I speak up. "So, you guys all know we're going to Mt. Turra, right?"

Everyone nods, and Termi chimes in. "The capital of Rockend!"

I blink blankly at her. "Oh lord. Anyways, the reason we're going is for more information on the Stringmaster. Emo Boy, you cool with that?"

Yorun rolls his eyes. "As long as I don't have to fight, dude. Sure."

I narrow my eyes. "Just don't backstab us, off-brand Pierce-the-Curtain."

Yorun stares at me with a blank glare, as I'm already moving on — well, gesturing to let the Party Leader take the lead.

"Alright guys! We'll pack up, eat breakfast, and head out!" Eniyala calls out. She turns her empty look to me. "If you have final affairs to tend to, I'd get those settled."

"Why'd she have to say it like that? Especially when we all know she's talking about the Swordmaster…"

Everyone else ignores the comment and pops back to cleaning up our area, and with a sigh I turn and walk to the cabin, knocking on the door. It opens a few seconds later, and the palm-tree-headed swordsman steps out. "You guys are leaving, then?"

I nod. "We thank you for allowing us to stay. And… Thanks for teaching me. Although it's probably not useful to me, having learned your style might come in handy. Somehow."

The forehead vein makes its appearance once more as he gives me a fake smile. "And to think we bonded, little shit…" He sighs, relaxing. "I will be here, if you all ever need a place to stay."

I bow my head, just enough to hide my smirk. "I appreciate it. We'll be heading out in about half an hour."

He nods. "I'll come to say goodbye to everyone then." He shuts the door, almost in my face.

I stick my tongue out at the door before turning to eat breakfast with everyone, since cleanup was done in record time.

Afterwards, Vao blabs about how it was great to meet us, and wished us well on our journey. Everyone said their thanks and shook his hand or hugged him. I only gave him a small bow, and for once he didn't seem irritated at me, and bows back. "I'll see you again, Disciple."

"Most likely, you wannabe old man."

He chokes on his spit at the remark, falling into a coughing fit as I walk off. "See ya!"

"You… bastard!" He cries out after me, but I'm jogging to catch up to the departing group, an almost evil grin on my face due to the glee of my pettiness.

***

Once he's recovered his breath, Vao looks at the backs of the receding party. 'The Saint's Party is already forming, huh?' He wonders pensively. 'HE is sure to be pissed. Oh well, it's probably a myth, anyway.'

He shudders at the thought of such a vile existence, turning to re-enter his cabin.

In the distance, a black-clad boy turns to look at the shrinking building. 'Someone who managed to escape, huh? Good to know', he thinks, returning his attention to the ragtag group he's stuck with.

* * *

<Races of the Party!>

<Klum: ][ū \ \@ ?>

<Eniyala: Human>

<Termi: Dwarfling (part Dwarf, part Human)>

<Yorun: Human? Emo>

<Lynsel: Human Lovable Meathead?>

<Ro: Dragonling>

<That's right people, the beloved tutorial is back!!>