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Critical Hit: The World’s Clumsiest Sword Saint

[Target in sight.] [Skill Critical Eye has been activated.] Being clumsy is quite common. But Luke Hunter’s clumsiness is on a different level. As the young man quite literally stumbles through life, he wonders if there’s something more he could be doing in the world. His dreams may come to be realized, as a freak accident causes Luke to wake up as Klum, in a completely different setting than his day-to-day life. His Dexterity, a skill that measures things such as flexibility and how well one holds themself, sits at the level it was in his past life; 1. And yet, he finds his skills to be suited for an extremely coordinated individual, especially after he meets the only other Sword Saint to have ever existed, an individual who is the strongest Swordsman among those both alive and passed on. It’s up to him to find his way in his new life, and strive to reach the path of the highest Swordsman — the Sword Saint. Will he be able to transform his 1 Dexterity into a 1000? Or will he be dragged into something much deeper — much darker? Credits to valeri_mirley on fiverr for the new cover! Updating 5-10 chapters a week, and now posting on RoyalRoad!

kyci · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
116 Chs

Chapter 86 - Trash Swordsmanship

My first reaction to the message is a simple swipe. My blade traces the shape of a triangle, going from my side to above my head, flipping back down, then changing directions to swipe from my left to my right, severing the thing's head.

Everyone stares at the frozen expression on the dead demon's head for a long moment, before Eniyala finally speaks. "You could have just done one swipe in the opposite direction."

Termi nods. "Yeah. What the hell is up with that weird ass triangle you made?"

I stomp my foot a bit, glaring out of the corner of my eye at them. "I might have panicked a bit, okay? And do you know how hard it is to cleanly sever a head? I have only done it a select few times, and that was my second time doing it to a human… well, human-like being. And let me tell you, the first time wasn't pretty."

I opted not to tell them the first cut was a choice, and Eniyala didn't dare speak up. She had witnessed what I had gone through.

"Haha… Hahaha… Hahahaha… HAHAHAHAHA!"

I jolt as a laugh behind me begins to rise in volume, until it's so loud it nearly makes my ears ring, I step away from the head, who sticks its thick, forked tongue out the side of its mouth.

"Good thing you didn't sever my vocal chords, though! That would have been a pain in my neck!"

The demon begins laughing again, and the blood that had been spreading before collects up like gravity has reversed, drops merging together to create a poorly-held line of dark liquid connecting the torso and the bottom of its neck. With a ripple throughout the blood, the head lifts into the air, holding it upside down as the body begins to stand. Sickening crunches and squelches come from the body, and the severed arm starts to bubble, the flesh and muscle receding as the end of the bone files into a sharp point, turning into a shank made from its own body. The nails simply elongate and turn black as they sharpen on his other hand and feet, which have ripped out of the simple leather shoes the man had been wearing. The overall bulk of the body has buffed up, standing a few inches over me.

"Hehehe. You ready to be sacrificed to me, the unkillable Bezion??"

I hold my sword straight, aiming the tip at its chest. "You're not my first rodeo. Even if I don't remember the first one."

<Warning! The Tutorial does not think you win here!>

"Relax, I got—"

The demon dashes forward at incredible speed, thrusting forward the jagged piece of bone at the end of its shorter arm. I step to the side, slashing up to cut the arm off. I use its own momentum against it, too, and hold out my leg, so that it trips over my leg and lands skidding on the ground chest first. His head, still detached, slowly spins around, an upside-down black grin flashing at me.

"Is that the best you can do against me?"

"Only if that's all you've got."

In reality, it was faster than me, and I was barely able to react. Plus, it was holding itself with little to no openings that I could see, and with 360° vision, the others couldn't find a way to jump in safely. If they even could do that. They all seemed frozen in shock or fear, except Termi, who had sweat beading on her face, but an angry look to go with it. As I watch, she yells, charging forward, when out of nowhere her eyes glaze over, and she topples to the ground, unconscious.

"Termi!"

The head spins around to view the fallen girl, a giggle escaping his mouth. "A free snack? For me? How lovely!"

"You won't be having any more 'snacks' anytime soon," a man says, appearing behind the demon's head. It tries to whip around, but a firm grasp on the base of the long ponytail freezes the head in place. "Wha—"

"Second Form of the Meditative State: Empty Mind."

I watch in shock and awe as a line splits from cheek to cheek of the demon's face, and cracks open from the middle line until the head falls apart into several chunks. Slowly, the chunks begin crawling towards each other, but it's slower than even a snail would move. 'The only thing I could see was a twitch of his arm. How much faster is he??'

The man turns to face me, his own light brown ponytail sticking straight up in the air bouncing lightly like a baby palm tree. As his mint green eyes rest upon me, he drops the ponytail still held in his hand, resting his fingers instead on the hilt of what looks to be the sheath of a straight edged sword the length of my arm.

"Your swordsmanship is just… trash."

"Wait, what?"

There was no way this anime samurai wannabe was judging my swordsmanship.

"Listen, you—"

I cut off suddenly as another instinctual feeling kicks in, and I step away twice as fast as I had planned to step forward. A lock of my hair drifts towards the ground where my face used to be, and I glare at the man who has instantaneously carved a hole through the chest of the demon. Subsequently, the bits of chopped up head also cease any movement, and I know why.

The circular chunk of flesh sitting on the ground by the simple steel-toe shoes of the man wriggles, bits of muscles twining to try and reach for the unresponsive brain matter splattered on the ground. The man points the tip of the sword down over it, ready to drive it down.

"Wait! Fucker…"

I dash forward, touching the edge of the moving chunk and sending it into my Inventory. I knew exactly why it was still moving, and it had to do with what was in my new weapon.

The man glares at me in disdain. "Do something like that again, and I'll separate your fingers from your hands, and your hands from your body. In one swing."

I scoff. "What's your deal, anyway? First thing you say to me is that you hate the swordsmanship I created, and now you're being hateful. This core is useful."

"You're just an idiot. And that core isn't a core until you kill it. Unless you want a piece of demon latching onto you, I suggest you drop it."

I sigh, putting my hand down and summoning the piece of chest back out. It's a round ball now, wriggling about and reaching for me. Another flash of silver, and the ball splits in two, rolling away from each half onto its back. The core fades away in specks of black light, before reforming into a dark, rugged crystal in my hand.

[The user helped defeat Lesser Demon Bezion.]

[The user gained 10000 EXP.]

"There. Pathetic excuse for a Sword Saint."

I turn sharply towards him, and he faces me with a look of pure disappointment. "I saw your sigil. I was excited; even as a Reincarnate, my love of swordsmanship has never died, and I have pure awe for the Sword Saint, and her steadfastness in choosing her successor. But to see your style, I can only assume poor Alyphia was desperate. Ah, if only I had made more of a name for myself, and if I wasn't cursed with this Seed!"

I perk up slightly. "You're a Reincarnate? What world?"

He blinks slowly at me. "Why the hell would that matter?"

I roll my eyes in exasperation, lowering his voice. "Why the hell do you think?"

His narrow eyes widen slightly, but he quickly hides it, matching my volume. "… Muro."

"Me-yur-oh… Muro? I'm from Earth."

"Who the hell names their world something lame like that?"

I shrug. "Not me. I unfortunately didn't name the world, or I would have picked something better."

"Being a fellow Reincarnate doesn't help your case, anyway. You're still incompetent, like whoever named your planet."

I sigh. 'Who even is this loner?' I think, activating Analyze+.

[Name: Vao Ostoff]

[Age: 27]

[Lv: ???]

[Class: Swordmaster]

[Health: 118/118]

[Mana: 184/184]

[Stamina: 108/118]

STR: 115 MAG: 44

AGI: ??? DEX: ???

VIT: 47 INT: 52

[Skills: Meditative State+ (Super Rare), Hyper Detect (Super Rare), Hyper Deflect (Super Rare), Skill Hermit (Rare), Dash (Rare)]

[Spells: Windblade, Waterblade, Clouding Blade, Fog of Thoughts, Winding Boost, Raining Veil]

<Note: 100 Stats and Levels that cannot be read by Analyze+ are at least points higher than the user's. Basically: Git guud, loser.>

My eyebrow unwillingly twitches in suppressed annoyance at the note, nearly causing me to forget the fact I couldn't read his Agility, which was my highest Stat, and that he had access to Spells. 'And he's a Swordmaster?? How—'

I don't have time to contemplate, as within a blink I find a long blade at my throat.

"What do you think you're doing?" The man asks in a low tone. Eniyala has been standing by Yorun and Lynsel, but she finally draws the line and steps forward, fingers extended towards the man. "Put it down, please. We just need your help with something."

He eyes the young woman for a moment before lowering his arm with a sigh. "If it's something stupid, I'll kill this poor excuse for a Sword Saint and leave."

In a flash, I feel the sensation of his blade through my neck before I can react. "Fu—"

Eniyala glares at me, silencing my outcry. I rub a hand on my neck uncomfortably, blinking in confusion. "Was that an effect of heightened Instinct?" I murmur quietly.

Ignoring me, Vao fully faces her. "Well? Let's hear it."

* * *

[Name: Klum]

[Age: 18]

[Lv: 22]

[EXP: 9400/20000]

[Class: Sword Saint's Disciple]

[Health: 71/71]

[Mana: 121/121]

[Stamina: 71/71]

STR: 23 MAG: 18

AGI: 41 DEX: 21

VIT: 12 INT: 35

Free Stats: 15

ACC: 30

DEF: 16 (+12/19)

POW: 26

[Skills: Klum's Reincarnation (Unfound), Sword Saint's Sigil (Unfound), Disciple's Mastery (Legendary), Critical Sight+ (Ultra Rare), Storming Moon Style (Ultra Rare), Lightning Blade (Super Rare), Underdog (Super Rare), Analyze+ (Super Rare), Detect Dark (Rare), Fury Slash (Rare), Skill Hermit (Rare), Sprint+ <+ Elemental Infusion> (Uncommon)]

[Spells unavailable]

[Party Leader Stats]

[Name: Eniyala Ignios]

[Age: 19]

[Lv: 22]

[Class: Mage Novice {Saint}]

[Health: 55/55]

[Mana: 160/270]

[Stamina: 22/60]

STR: 11 MAG: 62 {+20}

AGI: 24 DEX: 13

VIT: 8 INT: 20

ACC: 16

DEF: 7 (+10/16)

POW: 27 {+20}

[Skills: Mage Saint's Sigil (Unfound), Novice's Mastery (Legendary), Spellbind+ (Legendary), Spell Create+ (Ultra Rare), Magic Eyes+ (Super Rare), Analyze (Rare), Magic Heart+ (Rare), Sprint+ (Uncommon)]

[Spells: Fist of Ignios, Ignios Familiar+ (Eniyala), Ignios Stand, Magic Fingerblades, Ignios Arrows, Chains of Ignios, Hell's Chain Storm, Barbaric Ignios, Ignios Smithing, Magic Boost, Greater Enhance, Healing Tsunami]

[Name: Termi Foartiff]

[Age: 26]

[Level: 26]

[Class: Tank Novice {Saint}]

[Health: 132/132]

[Mana: 76/76]

[Stamina: 122/122]

STR: 36 MAG: 15

AGI: 11 DEX: 10

VIT: 46 INT: 20

ACC: 10

DEF: 41 {+40}{+32}

POW: 17

[Skills: Tank Saint's Sigil (Unfound), Novice's Mastery (Legendary), Smash!+ (Super Rare), Skill Hermit (Rare), Bash+ (Uncommon), Sprint+ (Uncommon)]

[Spells: Fortify, Fortify Allies, Taunt, Defensive Rockwall, Land Manipulate]

Since Critical Hit is getting featured on the Editor’s Choice tab, I decided to post a chapter a day early! Don’t worry, another will be coming out tomorrow as well :)

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