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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
96 Chs

Stomach Unwell, I'll Operate Again

Lynne nodded. Then he brought out the bill, pondered, and said: "Although this isn't the best time, it still needs to be discussed. The total surgical fee is 300 Skull Coins, but since this is my first time, I can give you a twenty percent discount, totaling 240 Skull Coins. The sewing fee is separate, summing up to 280 coins. Would you sign here?"

"Oink—Oink—"

The pigfolk let out mournful pig-like screams, his spirit nearly broken.

"Sew it! Sew it!" He trembled.

Lynne nodded, and pointing at various threads on the wall, said, "We have hemp thread, wool thread, cotton thread, wire, and steel wire here, each with a different price. Which one would you like?"

A tear fell from the corner of the pigfolk's eye, he mumbled: "Hemp thread..."

Lynne nodded, took down the hemp thread, and asked, "Do you need anything else..."

"Sew! Sew!!" He roared.

Lynne nodded, expertly picked up his steel needle, flicked the hemp thread, and approached the pigfolk, biting and pulling the end of the thread.

"Be patient, bear with it a little, I'm starting now."

[Sewing Skill Experience +1]

[Sewing Skill Experience +1]

[Sewing Skill Experience +1]

Finally, ten minutes later.

Lynne took out scissors, cut the thread, patted the knot on it, poured medicine into his mouth, and sprayed it on his abdomen.

Instantly, the sewn flesh started to close bit by bit, healing quickly.

[Ding! You have completed a hidden task. You have earned 50 skull coins, 50 surgery experiences, and 50 diagnostic experiences!]

[Ding! You have earned +200 Fear from the pigfolk.]

[Ding! Your fame in Wandering Soul Lane +10.]

Lynne removed his mask, unlocked the handcuffs on the operating table, held the blood-soaked infant, and smiled, saying: "Congratulations, the surgery went very smoothly. As you saw, this was indeed a routine case of spirit parasitism. Although it was a demonic spirit, it was indeed a healthy daughter. If raised… perhaps…"

Buzz—

For a moment, Lynne only felt a blur before his eyes. Then he saw a quivering shadow abruptly dash from the operating table, clutching his abdomen, fleeing towards the door with unimaginable speed.

He won't come again! He swore he would absolutely never come again! Undergoing surgery was like being butchised like a pig! This one doctor's visit has left him with psychological trauma!

...

"Boss! You've forgotten your daughter! The one you went through such pains to bring into this world – you can't just give birth and not care for her! This is a potion shop, not a childcare center!"

Lynne dashed forward, shouting, chasing all the way to the main door.

Yet, upon looking again, there was no trace of that pigfolk in the darkness.

Lynne heaved a sigh. After a moment's contemplation, he shouted into the enigmatic darkness, "Boss, if your stomach gives you more trouble, come back and I'll cut you open again. Next time, I promise I'll use anesthesia. And by the way, come get your newborn daughter soon! If my teacher returns, he might just chop her up to accompany his drink!"

Instantly, the previously bustling darkness became eerily silent.

Lynne turned on his heel and went back to his potion shop.

Without wasting any time, he rushed to the counter, rummaging through drawers beneath to find a small vial of a potent healing potion. He then quickly poured it over his right eye.

The eye, which he had brutally gouged out, gradually regained its vitality.

It still hurt, but the effect was undeniable.

Rubbing his inflamed eye socket, Lynne murmured, "Living in this world is indeed a constant state of anxiety..."

The reason he dared to gouge out his own eye wasn't out of sheer ruthlessness. He was aware that his shop housed advanced potions capable of rapidly healing injuries.

However, these were luxury items, beyond his crafting skills. They were part of his teacher's private collection, meant for personal use and not for sale.

[Ding! Multiple abilities are available for upgrade. Your fame in Wandering Soul Lane has improved. Please refer to the panel for details.]

Lynne paused momentarily before accessing the system panel.

[Lynne]

[Level: 3]

[Race: Human]

[Strength: 4]

[Agility: 5]

[Intelligence: 8]

[Physique: 4]

[Available Points: 4]

[Basic Skills]

[Intermediate Housekeeping Chores Proficiency: 909/1000]

[Beginner Potion Making: 90/100]

[Intermediate Surgical Skills: 203/1000]

[Beginner Knife Skills: 26/100]

[Beginner Diagnostic Ability: 55/100]

[Skull Coins: 250]

[Fame: 15]

[Description: Bloodsaw Potion Shop's somewhat morbid apprentice. Multiple patients have sensed a strong malice from him. It seems he's gradually inheriting his master's twisted style...]

Lynne: "…"

What does this last comment mean? Isn't this insulting? It's not objective or fair at all.

Except for not using anesthesia, he was very responsible for his patients. This is simply the system's malicious mockery of him!

Lynne shook his head. However, he quickly noticed that he had leveled up. He had moved from level 2 to level 3 and gained four additional assignable points.

Have to say, from this point of view, the panel provided by this system really feels like it's from a low-quality online game. But clearly, this isn't a game; this is a vicious and dark alternative world where death is real.

Lynne didn't hesitate. He assigned all four points to Physique.

No other reason. To become a qualified doctor, one must have a strong physical constitution, especially in this chaotic world. A frail body can always become the last straw, endangering one's life.

After all, survival is the first element in this world.

"Confirm."

Instantly, Lynne immediately felt a warm flow moving within his body. He knew those four attribute points were beginning to take effect.

Subtly, the fatigue from the recent surgery was quickly swept away by this warm flow, replaced by inexhaustible strength. He took off his coat. He looked at his abdomen.

Within those short few minutes, his originally flat abdomen now showed the contours of several abdominal muscles.

Lynne felt the beauty of having a healthy body.

From the counter behind him, came the crying of the ghost baby.

Lynne immediately went to the counter, holding the bloody ghost baby, and took a look, and this look revealed a problem.

Due to its underdevelopment, it's roughly the size of four adult fists. A long umbilical cord wrapped around its waist.

Its body was covered with streaks of crimson blood vessels, and on its cheeks, other than a mouth that resembled a black hole, the rest of the face was like covered in a layer of flesh mud, smooth without any features.

[Evil Spirit Blood Baby (Unformed)]

[Level: 2]

Lynne: "???"

Just now, this ghost baby was at level 1, and in such a short time, it has actually risen to level 2?

Does that mean this ghost baby is rapidly forming?

At this moment, a system prompt sounded in his mind.

[Ding! You have triggered an optional hidden mission: Ghost Baby Deformation. Due to the premature birth of the ghost baby, the ghost energy contained within is rapidly distorting the ghost baby's appearance. The more terrifying the appearance, the greater the malice revealed by the ghost baby after revival!]