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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
96 Chs

As a Doctor, I Must Take Responsibility for You

His gaze flickered. He had begun to suspect that this apprentice of Bloodsaw might have been altered by Bloodsaw into a stitched monster. No ordinary person could possibly remain so composed in his presence.

"I don't want yours; I want my own eyeball."

He uttered deeply in a raspy voice.

[Ding! Crisis reduced to 45%]

Lynne's expression was serene; he casually pressed his eyeball back into its socket and quietly sat back down. Lynne then reached into his bosom.

"This I do have."

Then, under the astonished gaze of the pigfolk, Lynne drew from his bosom a large eyeball, still sticky with flesh and blood, the eyeball still moving.

The pigfolk abruptly stood up, trembling: "This… this…"

Indeed! He recognized at a glance, that eyeball was the one that had been plucked out by the old woman. But how could his eyeball be with this human apprentice?

Lynne placed the eyeball on the counter and said quietly: "I met that kind old lady this morning; this is the toy she gave me."

[Pigfolk's Sanity -30!]

The pigfolk stared intently at the eyeball on the counter, cold sweat dripping from the pig hairs on the back of his neck, trailing down his spine.

For he knew very well the horror of that scavenger. With his own strength, he was easily robbed of his eyeball by that scavenger. If she wished, she could just as easily take his head.

And that scavenger... would actually give his eyeball to this frail human?! He found this human apprentice more and more extraordinary.

No. It was even becoming somewhat terrifying. Because he couldn't fathom the depth of this human.

[Ding! Crisis reduced to 20%]

The pigfolk stared at Lynne hesitantly and said, "The thing the old woman gave you... would you dare give it to me?"

Lynne replied indifferently, "Not give, sell. Two hundred skull coins, market price."

Was he truly unafraid? The pigfolk scrutinized him, searching for a flaw.

Could it be that he had a close relationship with that scavenger?

[Ding! Crisis reduced to 10%]

The pigfolk pulled out a money bag from his bosom and scattered a substantial amount of skull coins across the counter.

He fixed his gaze on Lynne and said, "Fine, I'll buy it."

With composure, Lynne collected the coins into the counter, then put his gloves and mask back on, and pulled out a single eyepiece, speaking lightly: "Deal. Do you want it done here, or shall we go to the operating table?"

"Here," the pigfolk declared definitively.

No resident of Wandering Soul Lane would want to go to Bloodsaw's operating table.

"Alright."

Lynne calmly picked up the bone-scraping knife and instructed, "Lean on the counter, rest your head on the table, and if it hurts, feel free to shout."

The pigfolk grinned maliciously, "Do you think I fear pain?"

Pff—

Lynne took a sip of alcohol and then sprayed it onto the bloody blade.

The pigfolk stopped talking immediately.

Lynne lit a candle and heated the blade over the flame for several minutes. With narrowed eyes, he approached him with the knife, little by little.

A drop of cold sweat plopped onto the counter.

The pigfolk shivered, "Do you need a knife just to install an eyeball?"

[Pigfolk's Sanity -10]

Lynne quietly spoke, "I just had a look. There are considerable concretions and blood clots in your eye socket. It seems you don't take good care of your eyes. Consider this step extra service; you don't have to thank me."

"Wait… wait!"

The pigfolk was horrified. But it was already too late.

Crack, crack, crack—Crack, crack, crack—

The sound of stirring and the blade scraping against bone echoed.

"Ah—Ah—"

The pigfolk let out heart-wrenching, terrified screams.

[Knife Skill Experience +1]

[Knife Skill Experience +1]

[Knife Skill Experience +1]

Several minutes later, Lynne cleaned the residue in his eye socket with disinfectant, wondering why this time it increased his blade skill instead of his surgical ability.

"It's done." Lynne calmly wiped clean the bone-scraping knife in his hand with a cloth.

"Don't move; I'm about to install the eyeball. If you move recklessly, be careful; it might get installed backward."

The pigfolk leaned there, white froth bubbling from his piggy mouth, his body twitching intermittently, obviously not hearing what Lynne had said.

Lynne blinked, subconsciously muttering, "Damn..."

I forgot to use anesthesia...

It seemed like he also forgot to use it the last time when he was stitching up the arm of a doll…

Whatever.

Lynne shook his head, his expression returning to calm.

He used tweezers to pick up the eye that he had just soaked in reagent, then turned his head, his gaze searching through the medicine cabinet behind him.

A few seconds later.

Lynne took out a white potion bottle from above the cabinet.

One could vaguely see that it was labeled with "Strong Glue" and a few other characters that were obviously handwritten.

"What is that!" The revived pigfolk shivered.

Holding the eyeball, Lynne shook the potion in his hand and spoke quietly: "It's a special strong adhesive I made, it can prevent your eyeball from falling out during the installation. Plus, my master's special potent healing potion guarantees a 95% success rate for the surgery."

Lynne explained seriously.

The pigfolk shivered, "Install it quickly! Did you hear me?! I don't want to stay here any longer! Did you hear me?!"

Lynne nodded, "Don't worry, we physicians have strong professional ethics."

Lynne calmly mixed the viscous potion. Then he evenly applied it around the eyeball, aligned it to the right position, and gently placed the eyeball atop the eye socket.

He took out professional tools again and adjusted the angle of the eyeball,

He felt around his toolbox. Then he took out a hammer from it.

Pigfolk: "(ΩДΩ)!!"

[Pigfolk's Sanity -20!]

"What are you doing! What are you doing!!!" The Pigfolk screamed tremblingly.

Lynne frowned, "Don't move, this is the last physical step. If it's misaligned because you moved, I will have to take it out and reinstall it, which will then add a large sum to your surgery fee."

Lynne shook his head and held down the terrified pig head. Then, carefully with the hammer, he tapped the small bracket holding the eyeball, attentively inserting the eyeball into its socket bit by bit.

A few minutes later, Lynne blinked.

The pigfolk shuddered instantly, "What happened?! What happened?!"

Lynne frowned, "It's inverted."

Pigfolk: "(ΩДΩ)!!"

"Don't worry." Lynne, with a calm expression, reached out, grabbed the bracket holding the eyeball, and forcefully pulled it up.

With a rip, amidst the horrified screams of the pigfolk and his rapidly decreasing sanity value, Lynne forcibly removed the inverted eyeball.

"It's just a minor medical accident." Lynne calmly readjusted the position, saying: "There's no charge for this. Let me adjust the position again."

The pigfolk, in terror, let out sharp screams and struggled frantically: "I don't want it anymore! I won't have it done here!!"

[Sanity-20!]

[Sanity-20!]

"Stay still!" Lynne's eyes sharpened, and he shouted: "This is the final step, as a doctor, since you have paid, I must be responsible for you! I must ensure every one of my patients leaves here intact!"

With that, Lynne fiercely raised the hammer in his hand.

"Stop!!" The pigfolk stretched out his hand and yelled in horror.

Bang—

Sparks flew.