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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
96 Chs

An Exceptionally Agile Tongue

"Priority target retrieval in progress... Analyzing target No.1... Analyzing target No.2... Target re-evaluation postponed... Maximum priority hunt... Target No.1..."

As that voice resonated, the massive tentacle launched a fierce attack on Lynne. However, just as it was about to strike Lynne, two tentacles of the same kind burst from the ground, wrapping tightly around the attacking appendage.

"Run!"

A ghastly voice emanated from within the creature. It was the voice of the Blood Clad Evil Spirit! She wasn't dead! She was still inside the creature, battling it!

"Lady!" Lynne roared. Yet, in the very next instant, the tentacle controlled by the Blood Clad Evil Spirit slammed heavily into Lynne. His eyes widened in shock as the force of the blow sent him hurtling through the streets, into the enveloping darkness. His view was quickly obscured by layers of black mist. He flailed his arms, retreating backward, as his vision continually receded. The only sound left was the howling wind in his ears.

Thud—

Lynne's body hit the ground hard, quickly getting to his feet, he panted heavily.

How did this happen?! Why did everything change so suddenly?! Everything seemed under control just moments ago. How did it turn into this?!

Without any hesitation, Lynne gritted his teeth and sprinted back in the direction he came from. But soon, he halted.

"No way!"

His head shot up abruptly. He realized that if even the Blood Clad Evil Spirit couldn't contend with that monster, then going would simply mean walking into death's embrace.

So was he supposed to turn tail and flee now? To run away like a coward, and then seek an opportunity for revenge later?

"What a joke!"

Gritting his teeth, Lynne bolted in that direction. However, he didn't rejoin the fight. Instead, he swiftly darted into the potion shop and dashed to the backyard. He rummaged through his belongings frantically. Soon after, he retrieved all the stashed Flesh Regeneration Potions he had hidden away.

"If she can hold on, there must still be a way to save her!"

Just as he was about to leave, determination etched on his face, he stopped suddenly. In an instant, he quickly turned, his breaths short and hurried, approaching the entrance to the basement.

"That's right! Master's pet... that creature can surely help!"

With a clang, Lynne forcefully threw open the basement door, and a pungent stench immediately assailed him.

"Hey!" He yelled into the darkness below. "I know you're playing dead, and I'm well aware you've always despised me, resentful of the expired potions I feed you daily. But now, the situation is dire, and regardless of what you are, I need your help!"

"Master is in peril, and that beast has come knocking! Its target is our Bloodsaw potion shop, and if I die, being part of this shop, you won't escape either! Hey! Did you hear me?!" Lynne roared. In his anger, he hurled several stones downward.

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you -1]

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you -1]

A hissing sound, reminiscent of an angry snake, echoed eerily from the shadowy depths below. And then, in the next moment, with a whooshing sound, a colossal, serpentine figure surged out from the basement. Its immense shadow immediately enveloped Lynne.

Lynne's eyes widened in astonishment, his face pale with shock.

"This is..."

[Babe]

[Level: ???]

[Affiliation: Lawful Evil]

[Race: ???]

[Combat Ability: ???]

[Description: A tongue that lurks within the basement of Bloodsaw Potion Shop. It seems to be a part of some entity, willingly taken in and cared for by Bloodsaw for reasons unknown. It hates the expired potions it deems to be crap and even more so, the human boy who's been feeding it those for two years...]

"Babe?" Lynne murmured.

Hiss--

The elongated, massive tongue looked down upon Lynne. At its tip was a slit, from which protruded another tongue identical to it. And from that tongue, yet another identical tongue emerged.

In an eerie and bizarre manner, it confronted Lynne.

Hiss-hiss-hiss--(FU)

It stared at Lynne.

Somehow, Lynne immediately understood the meaning behind its hissing.

Irritated, Lynne reached out and yanked its papillae, demanding, "Say that again?!"

Hiss-hiss-hiss--(YMF)

Grinding his teeth, Lynne tightened the coating of the big tongue, saying, "Fine! Curse all you want! But right now, we're in a crisis. My friend is out there fighting that creature. And just so you know, that creature came for us!"

"Even though you're both ugly and cowardly, you are still part of our Bloodsaw Potion Shop! I raised you on potions I meticulously tried and tested! Think about it! If my friend is taken down and I fall next, who's next in line? That's right! It's you, the ugly and cowardly tongue!" Lynne roared at it.

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you -10]

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you -10]

Hiss-hiss-hiss-hiss--(YFMC)

"..."

"..."

Lynne, visibly annoyed, "That's not crap! It's a potion! Yes, it might be a bit expired, but it's still a genuine potion!"

Hiss, hiss-hiss-hiss--(YFMCE)

Lynne, infuriated (〃′皿`)q, gripped the base of its tongue, exclaiming, "Fine! If you come with me now, for the next two months, I promise to feed you top-notch potions every single day! Potions that will make you feel absolutely exhilarated! How's that sound?"

A brief silence ensued.

Hiss--(D)

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you + 0.001]

The next moment, the serpent-like tongue swiftly unraveled from the cellar, elongating wildly. It quickly coiled around Lynne. Within a blink, it shot towards the entrance of the shop. This truly was an extraordinarily agile tongue!

...

On the streets.

In less than five seconds, Lynne and the colossal tongue returned to the battlefield. The scene before him left Lynne utterly stunned.

The entire street was barely recognizable, littered with fragmented tentacles. At the center of the street, the creature, ensnared by countless arms, pulsated rhythmically, much like a beating heart.

"Complete consumption progress... 54%... 55%... Detected proximity of target no. 1... Highest priority for extermination... Switching target..."

Whirl--

In a flash, a multitude of enormous tentacles, riddled with vertical eyes, erupted frenziedly from the ground.

The tongue: "!!!"

Immediately, the tongue turned to flee.

"Three months!!" Lynne, visibly agitated (艹皿艹), hastily grasped the tip of the vast tongue, shouting: "Rescue my friend! For the next three months, I promise to feed you high-quality potions every day!"

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you +0.01]

Hiss--.