2020 Rapunzel Part 1

Once upon a time in the year 2020, there was a man named prince. He was not a charming man, he don't have a horse as a companion.

Look into the mirror and you would get a good idea of the type of person he is.

But Prince has one defining feature, he is a…

Simp.

Last week, Prince walks by a huge skyscraper while he was on his way home after flipping burgers for a minimum wage.

Why did he not pass by a tower you ask? It is 2020, towers are so 2019.

As he was about to walk away from the towe… I mean skyscraper, Prince heard someone singing.

Prince at that point in time did two mistakes; first, he did not stop and listen to the song; second, he should find a better job or at least something that pays more than a box of condoms that Prince will never get the chance to use.

From that day onward, the only thing that Prince could hear in his brain is the song

The phenomenon is called involuntary musical imagery, or more commonly known as "earworms". It is not dangerous, yet… but that is Prince's problem not ours so let him deal with it.

'Is it K-pop?'

'Country Truck Driving Music?'

'Or is it a bird or a plane or…'

'A copyright strike?'

'Wait, do not tell me that it was one of those weeb songs.'

Prince knew that the only way that he could find the answer is to return to the towe… Skyscraper, yes a skyscraper. My editor will fix this mistake, so don't worry. (I do not have an editor, but I do have a light bulb.)

Standing below the skyscraper, Prince finds his situation awfully similar to the fairy tale Rapunzel. So he called out…

Rapunzel!

Rapunzel!

Let down your hair

That I may climb thy golden stair!

Only to be replied with

"Which type of hair do you want?"

It was the same voice that sang the song Prince once heard in real life and 82378 times in his head, so he answered the voice:

"What are my choices?"

"For the basic membership I would let down the hair growing from my head, for the premium membership I would let down a piece of rope, and for the super VIP membership I would let down my pubic hair."

"Why pubic hair?" Prince and you asked.

"For a better grip."

That is the answer, very simple answer if I may say so.

As your average simp, Prince naturally picked the super VVIP membership which do not exist in hopes of getting lucky.

The most magical moment of the story finally occurs as the money he owes to the credit card company increases faster than you blinking unless you trained in the art of blinking which in that case… I do not believe that someone would train such a useless skill so you lied.

You lied to me! Think of our baby, what will he think went we have our divorce?

For that question, grab the nearest baby and asked the baby.

Now back to the 'fairy tale'.

Using his two hands, Prince slowly climbed the curly hair. Along the way he was attacked by monsters that are 100% not overgrown lice, and Rapunzel randomly throwing things at him to stop him from climbing up for some reason.

Finally, one of the lice called Jerry bite down on Prince's arm. Jerry slowly grew redder and larger, yet Prince did not give up.

With Jerry by his side, he climbs up the tower…I give up, to tell all of you the truth I am actually in love with towers.

Look at their bodies, no curves at all. That means they are not thots, so you won't come home one day and get NTR by an inanimate object.

Don't judge, this is my personal preference.

Just when Prince was about to reach where Rapunzel is, Jerry decided to call Tom and Spike to have a buffet on Prince's body and with that he fell down.

No to his death, although death in fairy tales are quite common. (That is the one thing I like about fairy tales, they aren't pussies when it comes to killing major characters.)

The pubic hair retracted and Prince was left with Jerry, Tom, and Spike… wait no Spike go squashed to death so it is just Jerry and Tom along with Prince who are alive.

"Looks like you failed, to have a second chance please buy a pubic hair comb for only one of your kidneys." Rapunzel said as if she is a pay 2 win mobile game app.

So that is the reason she threw those things down…

Just when Prince was about to use his credit card once more, he was notified that he now owes the bank an outstanding amount of money.

Now armed with two monster sized louse, crippling debt, and depression; what will Prince do?

To be honest, except for the louse he really isn't that different from me.

Find out next time on Dragon… wait I mean Fairy Don't Tell Tales.