102 You Look Like Sh*t

Alex mumbled something about Claire's pessimism but she already took an opportunity to go back to Gabriel's room. It was a large VIP room, of course. There were few armchairs further up and there was a large window with the view stretching far out. It was completely meaningless in the current situation.

Claire dragged the armchair across to put it in the place of a chair that she was sitting in earlier. She knew that she'll be there for a while longer. She sat down in the armchair and held Gabriel's hand, starting to talk to him again.

She kept talking for almost an entire night. It was one way to stay awake. After all, she didn't want to miss anything, and frankly, sleep was impossible with all of the beepings of the machines.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…" Claire was quietly humming, as she carefully laid her head down on Gabriel's bed, making sure not to touch anything. His giant smell was still the most comforting thing, even if she felt an increasing dread of all of that disappearing. "Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens…" Claire still held onto Gabriel's hand, studying it carefully. It was larger than hers, it was strong, and he had such long fingers. She caressed the back of his hand, running her fingers along the lines of his veins beneath his skin, carefully analysing every detail making sure that she remembers it all, even his bitten nails. They didn't use to be like that. Stress must've been getting to him in the past few months.

As the morning came, the clattering of the nurse woke her up.

"Good morning, Mrs Moore." The woman smiled at her.

"Morning." Claire mumbled as she looked around with her glossy eyes, wondering what was happening.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"What?" Claire looked up at the nurse. "No, I don't want to leave him." She shook her head.

"We can get a maid to bring it for you." Nurse smiled.

"How is he doing?" Claire asked with worry realising that the machines weren't beeping as much this morning.

"His condition is stabilising, Mrs Moore. His oxygen is levelling up meaning that the transfusion has helped. The doctor recommended taking the oxygen supply off to see how Mr Moore is doing without it. The doctor is going to come around in a few minutes to talk you through it."

"That's good, right?"

"It's better than it was but…" the nurse sighed. "It's still hard to tell."

"I understand. Thank you." Claire tried to smile but her face barely twisted into some frown.

"Why don't you go home and rest, Mrs Moore? I'll call you if anything changes."

"I don't want to." Claire said as she looked back at Gabriel. "If anything happens, I would never be able to live with a consciousness of knowing that I've wasted the precious minutes with him. I've wasted enough of time already."

"If I must be frank, I didn't realise that Mr Moore was married." The nurse said with a smile.

"Very few people know." Claire admitted.

"How so? Does Mr Moore hide it?" The nurse looked at Claire curiously.

"Oh god, no." Claire shook her head. "I was the one worried about people knowing."

"I hope that you don't mind me asking, but how long were you married?"

"It's six months tomorrow." Claire said quietly.

"You must really love him."

"Huh?"

"Not every wife in here is insistent on spending every waking moment with their partners whilst still covered in bodily fluids."

"I guess I've realised that I have nowhere else to go." Claire said quietly. "The only home I have is with Gabriel. Without him there's nothing."

"I always thought that the rich marry for money."

"I married him for money. He married me to torture me." Claire said with a chuckle.

"That's funny." The nurse laughed at what she thought was Claire joking before leaving the room.

"Did you hear that?" Claire turned to Gabriel. "Nurse thought that it was funny. Maybe it is? I guess it is funny when you fall in love after marrying someone for their money." Claire laughed at her own thoughts before starting to hum again.

The doctor came by not long after explaining the removal of the oxygen and what was going to happen if Gabriel can't breathe on his own. Claire stood on the side as they did it. Her heart stopped as they removed it. She was worried that he wasn't going to breathe himself, but Gabriel's chest continued rising and falling rhythmically. She let out a breath of relief as the doctor gave her a nod. Gabriel was breathing on his own. It was a huge improvement in his condition.

Claire walked out of the room towards the waiting area, starting to sob happy tears.

"Claire…" Alex straightened out.

"He's breathing on his own now." Claire said with a smile. Alex walked up to her and hugged her. "The blood transfusion helped."

"That's a good sign, Claire." Alex said joining her in the sobs. "I've told you that he's stubborn as heck. He will fight death and win. I am convinced that he's invincible."

"I bloody hope so." Claire grumbled. "If anyone else wants to see him, go ahead." She looked around the room. Everyone was still there. Jacque was snoring lightly as he leaned on Matthew's shoulder. Mark was sitting with his face pointing at the ceiling, and eyes closed, struggling to sleep himself. Gina sat up watching tv, although barely awake, and Zoe lay across several chairs with her head resting on Gina's lap.

"I'll get you coffee and breakfast." Alex offered. "Sit down and have a rest."

"No." Claire shook her head.

"At the very least, have a nap on a sofa. We're all here and I suspect Jacque will sit by Gabriel for a bit so he will be updating us." Alex looked over as Matthew was nudging Jacque to wake up.

Claire wanted to protest but she knew that it was futile. She silently nodded instead, sitting down on a sofa that was so stiff that it felt like a concrete block covered in plastic. She looked at the tv realising that there was some soap opera on.

"Did they change the channel?" Claire asked.

"We did." Gina said with a weak smile. "We couldn't listen to it anymore."

"Oh. Is it still…?"

"I'm afraid so." Mark grumbled, still not changing his position. "I have people on it but it's taking its time."

"Do I need to give a statement to the police?" Claire asked with worry.

"No. At least not yet. Mr Best spoke to the investigators earlier today and he is talking to the police on your behalf."

"Alex?" Claire looked at Mark with surprise.

"Yeah." Mark confirmed. "He spoke to Watters too."

"How's the company?"

"The sticks are plummeting. Directors are panicking. Competition is trying to pick it apart." Mark shrugged. "The usual drama in the corporate world. It'll settle down soon enough."

"Any advice on what to do about it?"

"I don't know, Claire. The decision is yours." Mark finally opened his eyes and straightened up. "I don't think there's a right answer right now. I know that Gabriel would like you to step in as an interim CEO but considering the fact that you've just resigned I understand that this is not the path you would consider. There's no one else I can think of that would have capability and knowledge of the company sufficient enough to undertake that role."

"I don't think it'll do any good if I came back as interim CEO. Not after my resignation. However, I don't mind working with the chosen interim CEO and nudge them in the right direction. I was thinking that we could put our CFOs name forward. I think Gordon would do quite well."

"So… that's actually not that bad of an idea. Put Gordon forward but legally you'd be the one putting main suggestions forward to the board of directors and you'd be the one responsible for the key decisions." Mark thought out loud. "Yeah, that should work. I'll get in touch with Gordon and I'll see what he says." He stood up taking his phone out. "You really do need a rest, Claire. Gabriel isn't going to be best impressed if you end up dying in the waiting room due to exhaustion."

"I won't." Claire shook her head with a slight smile. She managed some light sleep as Jacque, Matthew, Alex, and Mark managed to see Gabriel one after another. Alex brought her food and coffee a bit later as Claire sat up. She had a horrid headache and her ears were ringing. She felt nauseous and sick. Hospitals never agreed with her, but she knew that she was driving herself to the ground with little to no sleep and no proper food. Gabriel was definitely going to tell her off for it. She smiled at a thought of it, waiting impatiently for Gabriel's scolding, for his snarky comments, and lastly, his smile afterwards.

Claire made her way back into the room, sinking back into the armchair, and starting yet another monologue.

She watched Gabriel without the ventilator, happy to see his face fully again, however she was upset to see his lips so dry that they were cracked. She quickly got out of the room and hurried to the pharmacy on the ground floor, borrowing Zoe's coat on the way to cover the blouse that still, buying a few types of lip balms and moisturisers. Claire hesitated by the section with men's toiletries. She picked a few bits up and almost run back upstairs.

Without a second thought, she applied the lip balm to Gabriel's lips. She ran her fingers across his cheek, his stubble now thick and scratchy.

Claire carefully sat on the edge of Gabriel's bed, picking up the razor and trimmer, with particular carefulness tidying up his stubble. As she never did it before she found it particularly stressful, but somehow she felt that she should help Gabriel seem most like his usual self for when he woke up.

After tidying up his facial hair she had a go at combing his hair like he usually does. Although she tried her best she felt that she messed it up completely. No matter how much she tried, it wasn't quite how Gabriel did it.

At last, Claire flopped on the armchair with an exasperated sigh.

"If that's not love, I don't know what is." Claire mumbled. "Honestly, how could I have fallen for such a self-righteous asshole as yourself?" She huffed. "Can you even love someone you've hated?" Gabriel's obvious lack of response irritated her a bit so she decided to put a tv on. "Look at that! That's probably the most outrageous drama there is. I used to watch it whilst at uni with Zoe and Gina on our quiet nights in. I can't believe that it's still running. Oh, look at him! He aged like fine wine. Honestly, he must be nearing forty now. God, he's looking fine." Claire shook her head at the tv, then looked to the side. "I mean, not as fine as you. Admittedly, you're a little buggered up at the moment but still. I am pretty sure that you're 99% muscle. Which I'm still unsure how I feel about. I'm pretty sure you could use a layer of fat. You're comfy though so I don't know…" she turned back to look at the screen of the tv. "Oh, she's pretty! That's the kind of woman I would've imagined you to be with. Honestly, wow. I don't think there's a single angle from which she would look worse. Stunning!" Claire chuckled at her commentary. "But most importantly, I have about six years of the plot to catch up on. The first guy found out that he was adopted when I've last seen it. I wonder whether he found his biological parents in the end." As the characters on the screen called each other the overtop sweet nicknames, Claire flinched but then she looked at Gabriel. "I still didn't come up with a nickname for you. See, the trouble is that I don't like too sweet nicknames because I feel like they sound fake, but then you didn't like any typical nicknames for Gabriel. You call me 'Claire dear' which I miss so much right now. I wish I could hear it again, you know. But… I still haven't come up with a name for you. I had a few thoughts that might be of your liking. I always loved how my grandparents called each other. My Nonna always called my grandpa 'amore' or 'ciccino' which means 'love' and 'darling'. And my grandpa would call Nonna 'Bella' or 'cara mia' which meant 'beautiful' and 'my beloved'. For some reason, it always seemed natural with them…" Claire contemplated it further before deciding at last. "I think Caro Gabriel has a nice ring to it but it's cuore mio that I've heard before which frankly I could get onboard with." Claire kept on mumbling for a while longer before she fell asleep curled up in the armchair, holding Gabriel's hand again.

Sometime later Mark woke her up to inform her that the board of directors agreed for Gordon to take a seat as interim CEO, and Gordon was happy to take Claire's ideas forward and work with her going forward. Watters accepted it, even if he complained extensively about the new arrangement and the amount of paperwork it'll require.

Claire woke up the next morning when the first ray of sun shone right into her eyes, swearing at the fact that she didn't close the curtains the night before. She was swearing as she was about to stand up and cover up the bright light when she realised that her hand didn't just escape Gabriel's. As she stood up, the sudden resistance pulled her back, almost knocking her off her feet. She looked around only to find a pair of blue eyes fixated on her.

Claire froze, unsure whether Gabriel was dead and it was some awful rigor mortis, with her brain going straight for the darkest scenario. But Gabriel blinked. And his chest was still moving up and down rhythmically.

Claire felt an overwhelming joy beyond anything she ever felt before. A true euphoria. She started crying the happy tears, moving towards Gabriel and without thought, she started kissing his face, his cheeks, forehead, the tip of his nose, eyebrows, eyelids - anything her lips could touch. The monitor beside the bed started beating faster. Claire stopped to look at it, realising that Gabriel's heart rate has shot up. She looked at Gabriel with worry, about to turn around and call for a doctor when he smiled at her weakly.

"You look like sh*t." Gabriel grumbled in his hazed state. His voice was raspy.

"Excuse me?!" Claire exclaimed with annoyance.

"All those blood stains and those red puffy eyes…" Gabriel smiled. "Did you cry over me?"

"No, I've cried over yet another ruined blouse, of course." Claire replied with a huff, trying to stop herself from starting to cry again. "You have an awful tendency to bleed all over my clothes." Gabriel laughed and then his face twisted in pain. "Of course, I've cried over you!" Claire grumbled.

"I hate seeing you cry over me." Gabriel decided.

"Well, you don't get to decide." Claire wiped her tears away, but she couldn't contain yet another bout of happy tears. Gabriel wasn't paralysed, or at least his left arm wasn't. It was sprained and it had a brace over the wrist, but Gabriel was able to hold Claire's hand with it. Claire looked over warily at Gabriel's right arm - a side in which he was shot. She was too afraid to touch his right hand for the past two days. And now it was still a question of how extensive the damage was.